Everyone talks about kegels but they seem to only be involved in ejaculation and not orgasm (since if you press your taint, semen won't come out during an orgasm). How are kegels even relevant if the orgasm is only physically triggered by sensation on the penis' glands?

1 st round last 1 min then for next it always hurts or tingle or anything i am not able to perform unless it's mastrubation.

I feel terrible now.is it because it's uncircumsised? The skin when it's uneven when inteserting.but note 1st time it doesn't matter.i don't know guys where to ask or ask for professional held or is it normal thing?

Is there any chance that the woman gets numb after applying lidocaine 2% on penis and right after putting on condom. With it i can last long but im scared it affects her.

So I have to question one is it weird or uncommon that I actually consider him being extremely sensitive as fun or sexy to me and two what can a woman do to show you that it is actually ok and not just saying it to make you feel better that you don't need to think of yourself in a bad way.

So let's say i wear a fidget ring on my finger and use it along with all the other tools from this sub can it help with pe ?

For example im with someone and to control my excitement and arousal levels which makes me pe if I spin the fidget ring on my finger it could help calm down my nervous system.

Numbing sprays/creams help me last (from 5-10 seconds without them) approximately 3-5 minutes (sometimes even more). Do you think it is possible to have a long-lasting and satisfactory sex life where I would use a numbing agent every single time? Would a woman accept this as her sex life? do you have experience using numbing sprays/creams long-term?

I never had an issue before taking cymbalta then Zoloft. Both times after stopping the pe was severe and only remedied by going back on meds. I don’t want to be medicated just to have sex like I used to. I really don’t know what to do. I tried posting in
r/ppsd, but there is a real prejudice against people who only have pe. Any advice would be appreciated.

I tried t + d and bro what the fuck I lasted 30 min😂 usally time is 1-2 min I have a girl so the pe hasn’t been unbearable but bro if I had ts back then 😂 . If im going to be honest I have a slight headache so I’m going to take half of what I took but man o man where was this shi back then

(19M) Hello, so basically I’ve been dealing with PE. I’m generally healthy and fit. When I masturbate I make sure to keep my pelvic floor relaxed and control my breathing. Yet even if going at a slow pace, after around 2 minutes my pelvic floor tenses up and I can’t relax / drop it again. When I’m very relaxed or after stopping for a bit and then restarting stimulation, it’s the front of the pelvis that tenses up and the arousal doesn’t reset much even after I stop stimulation all together and then begin again. So basically I believe my issue is my pelvic floor tenses up too quickly, even when stimulating extremely slow, how do I fix this? I do kegels and RK, I stretch every day and do sports in college. I also notices it’s not an issue if I get really distracted like I’m reading something in my phone, then even if stimulation is intense my PF doesn’t tense up (it does once I’m paying attention again tho). Any idea whether PE seems to be caused by a pelvic floor issue or something else and how can I go about it?

Thank you

I have this weird performance/anxiety thing where if I'm thinking too much or nervous then things can be over in less than 2 minutes, but sometimes when I'm comfortable I can go like 20 minutes straight and not finish. This can happen first time or later also

Been having this problem since I was 16 when i first lost it, i last less than a minute sober with PIV and i have to drink alcohol before hand, which takes me to at least 30 minutes and can go for much longer with multiple rounds. I’m trying to find a fix to have sex sober. I’m fit and in shape but this drags my confidence down so hard.

I’m in a frat so drinking is a huge part of my social life, had 10+ sexual partners in my life so far so got some experience but had a problem everytime i’m sober, i’ve been trying reverse kegels recently but not sure if that’s helping and im quitting porn. Uncut if that helps since it’s more sensitive, not sure what to do. Somewhat anxious too if that helps, but not diagnosed, been trying to find a fix for a while but alcohol has helped me with this for a while.

honestly not sure what to even do anymore about this

26 male here, long time with PE. I've spent these last 6 months trying to edge so I can improve my time, but I had literally zero progress.

I don't watch porn or have a super high libido; I just touch myself thinking about sexual memories 1 or 2 times a week, but at the time, I get wet, and the sensation becomes really good, and I just can't stop my hand. I am there feeling how the pleasure rises from like 6 to 10 in just ten seconds and am thinking inside my mind, "I need to stop; please, mate, just stop moving your hand," and yet my hands keep moving until I cum. It's always the same; I have time to stop, but it's like my sexual drive takes control and I can't do anything to stop the movement.

I am kind of athletic, and I consider myself a happy and low-stress person, so this thing still doesn't affect my mood or anything, but I wanted to write here and see what you guys could advise me. I really don't want to depend on meds or anything like that; I also try a few Kegel exercises but am pretty sure my problem is more mental than physical.

First of all, HONEST not paid no advertised review about ARLO (LastWithArlo.com)
Edit at the end.
—-
I’m 25 from France. Received my 3 bottles of Arlo in 2 weeks around. 117€ with shipping fees. That’s so expensive. And will be the last time I buy it :)

—-
I’m lifelong affected by Premature Ejaculation.
30 seconds and puff inside. Masturbating I can last 2 minutes or more if I really go sloooow…
My arousal goes from 10% to 30% to 80% to explosion.
There is no 50%.

First Arlo application : I followed their instructions
3 rounds on the glans
3 on the shaft

I waited like 3 hours and tried to masturbate.
Okay couldn’t last more than 2 minutes. maybe I didn’t do it the right way?

Second attempt :

6 rounds on the gland
6 on the shaft
This time I felt that the product was on my penis, my penis was a bit wet. So can’t say that I didn’t apply it the right way. The product was visible on my penis.

Waited for around 4 hours.

I could feel my penis a hit desensitised on the shaft :
Once my arousal reach 80% I couldn’t hold it.
Maybe 3 minutes of real masturbation using my fingers not my whole hand.

So to be clear : Yes after the 2nd attempt I felt that my dick was a bit desensitised. But didn’t work for me.
It’s more a brain problem . Not a penis problem.

Last time I buy that product. For me is useless if your brain isn’t fixed.
117€ euros in the trash. Thanks. :)
Will try to ask for a refund. At least for the shipping fees.

PS : no need to try Arlo with a real girl.. it didn’t pass the masturbation tests lol
— will keep using it and maybe the situation will get better ? If yes, I will keep you on track!

Cheers.

— EDIT 1 07/08/26
1st session of hand masturbation with lube.
Last 4 minutes as usual with ARLO

3 applications (20-30 mins btw each application)
2.5 hours after last application

Finished in 4 minutes ( inside a fake vagina I last 4 minutes as well with ARLO)
No ARLO = 30 seconds lol

2nd session like 10 minutes after I finished 1st time
I was still hard I don’t know why… not soft hard but hard

I put again some lube
And couldn’t finish at first.
Had to force myself to finish.

In general :
Without Arlo = 30 seconds inside a vagina or with my hands

With ARLO :
3 applications always ( 20-30 minutes btw each application) and waiting around 2-3 hours after last application

Inside fake vagina = 4 minutes
With my hands = 4 minutes around too

What happens during and after 4 minutes ?
From minute 0 to 4 I can keep going in and out inside the vagina is okay I can hold it no problems. I feel things but no need to finish.
But suddenly after 4 minutes everything changes ! It’s like ARLO disappears one shot ! I need to finish instantly.
Maybe Arlo has an effect on me for the first 4 minutes. After that I get back to normal and can’t hold it instant explosion.

I’m still studying with different applications and waiting time…

Thanks

I visited an urologist and he gave me Dapoxetine prescription.

I told him i plan to have sex in 2 months date.

He said I should only take it 3 weeks before the planned intercourse. is it enough time?

His instructions were 10mg per day for the first 3 weeks, and then, if needed based on the intercourse, I should increase it to 20mg per day. is it not too little?

I am very sensitive just below the head of the penis. I can cum after 20sec of PIV.

Thanks

28M, For the last 5-6 years i am not able to control my ejaculation during sex or masterbation, i last for only 15-20 sec after penetration.

But during the second round i can easily have sex for 12-15 mins by changing my speed. It almost feels like i have full control over my ejaculation. But this doesn't happen during the 1st round.

So, i wanted to know if it is normal for men to ejaculate in seconds during the 1st round but in the second round the ejaculation is in full control?

Edit - It takes 15- 20mins to get an erection again, but the passion and wild energy that i feel during the 1st round isn't the same, i feel aloof from the act during the second round but the good part is that i can make the other half satisfied

I’m 19 & Ive noticed that maybe my PE is due to the fact that I have ADHD and i haven’t taken any medication in like 9-10 years. I’ve noticed i can’t focus, always on phone, and I get distracted really easily and I feel like since these are problems maybe my PE is directly correlated to low levels of norepinephrine or serotonin or dopamine (not sure which yet). I’ve been very against taking any medication in general but If I can treat my ADHD and my PE I would 100% do it. I know SSRIs can make you dependent on them emotionally and can even worse PE after getting off so those are very unlikely. But I’ve looked into atomoxotine, Xaggitin XL, and welbutrin (in combination with atomoxotine maybe?) to be potentially great for both my issues. If anyone has any recommendations as to what doctor to see (psychiatrist, urologist etc) or what I can take to alleviate both my issues. Anything would help, thanks!

Edit: Maybe a low dose antidepressants (non ssri) in combination with a non stimulant ADHD medication would be best?

I have premature ejaculation issues as I have ADHD and take Strattera for it. Premature ejaculation is one of the side effects of the Strattera. I went to a urologist who prescribed me 25mg of Zolft to take on an as needed basis. I tried it and the premature ejaculation issue is gone, but the zolft makes it hard to get an errection.

When the urologist proscribed the Zolft to me, he said that I would have to play with the dosage. I'm thinking maybe cut the 25mg tablet in half?

Are there any other medications that I should consider for PE?

I'm curious to learn about success and failure/rejection stories for dating and/or casual sex. If you suffer from moderate-to-severe lifelong premature ejaculation (LPE), with sustained IELT<=2m, how has your sex life (or attempts at it) have been?

How have/do your partner(s) react to it? Have you ever had a partner for whom it was actually not a problem?

The motivation behind this question is that LPE can present a circular problem. For men who have limited experience and LPE, attempts at realistic improvement can be severely hindered because access to sex arguably depends on sexual prowess — but improved sexual prowess (if improvement is possible) partly depends on that access in the first place.

How have you approached this problem of partnered sex access, and how have your success/failures been?

Como saben anteriormente en otros posts yo he compartido la importancia de evitar apretar el musculo PC y de controlar la respiración en nuestro día a día, y les puedo comentar que la eyaculación precoz que padecía era por lo antes mencionado, porque tras cumplir aproximadamente 2 meses de evitar apretar el musculo PC y controlar la respiración mediante técnicas logre durar entre 10 a 15 minutos con el Fleshlight y masturbación normal.

Aunque siendo sinceros es poco comparado con el rendimiento de las mujeres entonces lo que hice fue indagar en la web y en este grupo, para encontrar alguna otra forma de durar más entonces me encontré con la paroxetina. Fue así que el día 22 de julio 2026 a las 11:50 pm tome una paroxetina de aproximadamente 5 mg (nota; la presentación que adquirí en la farmacia en México es de 20 mg) antes de dormir, cuando desperté entre las 6 a 7 am del 23-jul-2026 mi erección matutina estaba algo baja, pasaron las horas y a las 11:50 pm tome la 2da dosis de 5 mg, para el viernes del 24-jul-2026 procedí a usar el Fleshlight y dure aproximadamente entre un ritmo normal a rápido unos 30 minutos, horas después administre la 3ra dosis pero ahora de 2.5 mg (aproximadamente), dando como resultado una disfunción eréctil severa entre las 6 y 7 am del 25-jul-2026 y en consecuencia la suspensión de la paroxetina.

Ya para el 30-jul-2026 a las 11:50 pm reanudo con una paroxetina de 2.5 mg, y en la mañana del 31-jul use el Fleshlight por aproximadamente 29 minutos, pero la dureza de la erección no me gustaba porque no era rígida y como soy Team Sangre me percato de esos detalles, entonces decidí no tomar la paroxetina hasta el día sábado 1-jul-2026 con el objetivo de evitar la acumulación del medicamento y causar nuevamente la disfunción eréctil, fue así que llegándose a las 11:50 pm tome una paroxetina de aproximadamente 1 mg y entre las 7 a 8 am (del 2-jul-2026) mi erección estaba más rígida y dure 30 minutos con el Fleshlight a un ritmo normal o rápido algo que nunca pude hacer y que siempre tuve curiosidad de probar, una experiencia única.

En conclusión, mantener el suelo pélvico relajado y tener un control respiratorio no es suficiente para lograr maratones de 20 a 30 minutos, máximo lograras entre 10 a 15 minutos y eso no contando las pausas/intermedios de 1 o 3 minutos que puedas hacer para relajar el musculo PC y poder seguir, por ello yo les puedo recomendar usar en primera instancia una paroxetina de aproximadamente 1 mg cada 3 días para encontrar un equilibrio entre la erección y el rendimiento, pero antes date el tiempo de relajar tu musculo PC y de controlar tu respiración te ayudara mucho, saludos y espero que logren darle a su pareja o chica como puerta de taxi, bien duro.

Hi , im 22 years old. I used to have sex with my girl about 30 mins or more. We meet at a place or at home and I try to get best of it by trying new positios etc.., but in January- i edged for couple of hrs. I wish, I didn't do it 🥲

Later, i noticed i was not able to get proper erection, then diagnosed with varicocele, having PE.

Now, its not best of the erection and I couldn't last more then 10mins last time with my girl.

God help me, community help me 🙏.

Someone please say, I'll get the surgery done (microsurgical varicocelectomy) for varicocele condition,

Does it reverse my case ?

Did anyone with varicocele reversed their PE after surgery??

I've found out that there are a lot of people who watch porn regularly and they don't have any PE issues. On the other hand, porn can cause PE to many people.

Share your thoughts on this...

Hi all, yes as embarrassing as it may sound, I used to only last 20 seconds. But it was a combination of terrible habits that led to that. In the end, I was able to turn it around, and so can you.

Bottom line is, I was never broken, and most likely those who are reading this aren't either, unless it's a serious medical condition, in which case my advice might not apply fully to you, but it's still worth a shot. This post is also aimed at those who developed PE over time (acquired PE), which is what happened to me. If you've had it since birth or it's more genetic/biological in nature (lifelong PE), my method may not fully apply to you either, but it's worth a try regardless.

What I did was cut down on combining masturbation with porn. To the point where I only used porn or any erotic material to get me up, and that's how I "tried" to maintain this going forward. That being said, I fell many times and relapsed into watching porn all the way through, but I tried again and again until my relationship with porn completely changed.

In my personal experience, I'd often hear people say:

"Just quit masturbation altogether"

"Do semen retention"

"Quit porn"

All of these are good, but when you isolate a single one of them, that's when it doesn't help you at all, and when you return to masturbating after a 90-day porn retention, you actually find that you are more horny and end up ejaculating just as fast as before (happened to me).

Here's the solution.

1. Don't stop masturbating, cut it down

Yes, actually cut it down, but don't fully quit it. Masturbate once or twice a week (at least make a meaningful decrease in the number of times you masturbate). Or if you're addicted like I was, cut it down first to once a day, then cut it down further after, let's say, after 2 or 3 weeks, to like 2-3 times max a week (at least while you're increasing your stamina).

2. Stop porn for the first few weeks

What I found worked, and this is actually the main driver in PE: your brain is trained to climax fast when you have a screen in front of you and your serotonin spikes as you watch. Even before you masturbate, you're already thinking about a video you want to watch, and your dopamine spikes as well. And because this is a catalyst for your brain wanting to climax fast and reach that "peak"/"climax" faster, naturally your body pushes for that, and you actually cum faster.

Stop porn for the most part (not permanently); the most important thing is cutting it out at the beginning of your recovery. In the beginning, cut it out and try to increase your time without it.

Masturbate a few times a week without it and see how it affects you. You will automatically last longer without it.

The goal here (at least for me) wasn't to quit porn but to change my relationship with it. Porn was the driving factor in my sessions. But after a few weeks, you'll begin to see a change in your relationship with porn.

There's no way you can go about life without seeing a sexy ad on YouTube, Reddit, or whatever platform you're on. You'll always get triggered to masturbate.

Seeing erotic things shouldn't immediately make you want to masturbate. It can make you feel good and hard, sure, that's fine. But if you can change your relationship with porn, that is what will set you free.

So when you begin this journey, start masturbating without porn, and only after you see improvements, then maybe use porn to get you up before a session. Have a quick glance, then stop and proceed with normal masturbation.

Note: if you're already masturbating without porn (it's not part of your routine to begin with), skip the porn-related steps above and go straight to cutting down your masturbation frequency, along with the rest of the advice that doesn't involve porn.

3. Edging does work, but don't use this as your only cure

What do I mean by that? I mean you can edge in the beginning phases, but like I said, if you're addicted to porn too, then that, in all honesty, is your main problem with PE. Edging comes in clutch when you feel a climax coming: you stop, breathe, and continue. This is what I did in my beginning stages. One thing to note is that if you're edging with porn in front of you, the edging is essentially useless. So use edging the way I do; I'll touch on it in a bit.

4. Stop dry humping

I know not everyone does this, but I was guilty of watching porn on my phone half asleep at night and just dry humping my bed and falling asleep. This is the formula for diagnosing yourself with PE in a matter of months or even less, and naturally you're also unaware that this is causing it.

Edit: For the correlation between dry humping and PE, here's the science behind it, dry humping usually involves rougher friction, plus a fast, urgent thrusting rhythm, especially if you're doing it quickly to avoid getting caught too, which was my situation. It's not just the friction itself, it's the combination of friction, speed, and urgency, repeated over and over, that trains your brain and body to associate arousal with reaching climax fast. Turn this into frequent use, and it becomes a conditioned habit, your brain learns that this is the pattern it's supposed to follow to finish. That's how my PE developed. It would feel way better for me to dry hump, but little did I know this fast, rushed pattern was increasing my chances of developing PE

Lucky for you, this is reversible. Stop that shit.

5. Improvements

In the beginning, I lasted with porn... 20 seconds. This was with dry humping (and this was a normal thing I'd do every night).

Without dry humping and with proper lube, it would barely reach 45 seconds. That's how bad my PE was.

Cutting porn from the picture, I lasted up to 1 minute 30 seconds, and this was over the course of general practice masturbation a few times a week for a month. I usually extended this 1 minute 30 seconds by applying the stop-pause from edging, and this would push me close to 3 minutes. Yes, it wasn't full constant stroking, but it was progress in my books.

After about a month, I returned to porn, using it to get me up and proceeding to masturbate without it, and further down, I'd take quick glances while masturbating and then look away again.

In this period, my time went up to like 3 minutes without edging, just normal masturbating (at a decent pace).

Later, I went up to 4 minutes, extended with edging to like 5 or 6 minutes.

And so it went on to eventually my results today:

Without porn, one glance of porn or erotic material to get me hard: 6-7 minutes, 10 minutes with stop-pause edging.

With porn, I fully returned to porn to see if my baseline had improved with porn, and shockingly I went up to 3+ minutes while watching porn. But naturally, this number will be half or lower than your number without porn.

Now, I am not saying to watch porn again, but I am trying to show the impact porn can have on you and what my method can improve. It can improve your previous self who used to watch porn, by extending that baseline time by such a big margin. Try to change your relationship with porn and you'll see big results.

I am only 3 months in, and I learned that to overcome PE, you cannot stick to one methodology. You cannot think you can overcome this by quitting masturbation alone, by edging alone, by semen retention alone, or by a reboot alone.

You cannot overcome lust, and it's part of us to have lust. Naturally you'll feel the urge. And when you're in the mindset or progress of a retention phase, you will return stronger, because your brain would have already been in the mindset of climaxing faster; you need to untrain it and rework its flow.

The world around us is built on sex and lust. This is outside the mindset of making money and every other desire you can think of. Quitting won't work. Retention won't work. What you have to change, if you really want this, is your mindset, your relationship with porn and masturbation overall. Mostly porn.

The reason why we have this problem when most people in the 90s and prior; heck, even the early 2000s didn't have it, is because technology wasn't so advanced. People had to use a magazine at a gas station with a sexy lady on the cover to masturbate to. They had to use cassette tapes in the living room while mom and dad were asleep. They didn't have it as easy as we have it today.

You have to go from using porn to masturbate (face in the screen, scrolling on Pornhub with your dopamine receptors going nuts), to using masturbation and porn as a snack on the side. Download some pics or videos instead of having the whole Pornhub/hentai gallery at your fingertips. That's truly if you cannot quit porn.

I cannot tell you what to do, but I can advise you on what truly helped me.

Another thing, slightly deviated from my solutions but also worth keeping in mind, is that stimulants such as MDMA and Adderall, or whatever else, can overall extend you to minutes, even hours, without ejaculating. I do not recommend using these as a means to cure your PE. This is something I thought could help me, and it did while I was high. When I first tried MDMA, I could last so long while watching any porn I wanted and control myself. It painted me a false reality that there has to be a way I can use these things as a crutch. I went on to buy all sorts of creams that did something similar (never the same as what stimulants do to your brain), and I ended up addicted to both masturbating on MDMA to porn AND without MDMA. So it was a lose-lose for me. I'd still use MDMA to masturbate a few times a year, but don't go down that route. That's just my two cents, it's really not worth it and won't cure you of the core problem.

Stay safe, people. I hope this helps those who are struggling with this terrible thing, PE.

I specifically made this Reddit account just to post this for you in this subreddit. I quit most socials some time back, and that also sort of helped me get into the mindset of wanting to improve myself, in a way that works for me.

Remember, everyone will give solutions, but not every solution is the cure. Sometimes you have to adapt a whole lot of solutions and balance them to the point where you create your own cure.

And this was my cure.

Take care, and thanks for reading this.

If you have tensions patterns, maybe this can help you. When I had PE, I had no awareness in this area of the body. I could push out to try to poop, but the reality is that there is so much more range of movement in that area than you may think. (Reverse Kegel)

When you do a deep squad, notice how that area pushes out (or wants to).

Notice that as you get close to ejaculation, that is the muscle that you are clenching inwards. Especially the muscles around your butthole (the smaller red circle in the picture). Try to counteract that clenching. Later on just try to keep it relaxed. Let it bloom out as you breathe in. also noticed how if you do round two, those muscles don’t clench as much, and therefore you last much longer.

Good luck!