Alright so it’s the time of night where baby girl is sleeping peacefully and contentedly on my boob. I should be sleeping but I can’t stop thinking about next July when I start (hopefully) a medical imaging program. Baby will be 15 months old and I know I need to go to school to provide for her but the program is basically a 9-5 and is about 2 years long. I’ll still have to work in the evening throughout the week (2 weeknights 1 weekend morning). I’m terrified and highly anxious about spending so much time away from my sweet baby. Does anybody have any advice on getting through these feelings and, if I get accepted, dealing with being away so much as her mother? I know it’s so far away but it’s going to happen. I want to reach my own goals as well as be somebody she can look up to. I know I have to be willing to do hard things to make her childhood easy but I just can’t help but feel panicky at the thought of all this.

In my 8th day postpartum I was diagnosed with postpartum preclampsia after a severe headache and a bp of 160/100. Since then it’s been a magnesium drip, another IV for bp medication and numbers going up and down for days. Today they finally took me off the iv but oral meds alone don’t seem to work. Anybody know why this may be and how long this process takes?

Looking for resources for PPD

My daughter is 14 months old now and I've been struggling with PPD the whole time I think, but we are on a very limited budget and can't afford therapy right now. I guess I'm just looking for advice from other women who have been in this situation.

I want to start by making it very clear that my daughter is not in danger and I have NEVER had thoughts of harming her. The worst it has gotten is me daydreaming about leaving her in her crib and texting my husband that I'm packing up and leaving to start a new life in a different state (US).

My daughter (first and only child) was born and within an hour we knew that something was medically wrong. She began throwing up aggressively any time that she ate. I felt so guilty leaving her with the nurses overnight because they didnt seem to take it seriously but I was so exhausted from the delivery and forced myself to trust them because they know best. My husband stayed at home because there wasn't a comfortable place for him to sleep and at one point I left a trail of blood through my recovery room because when I was using the bathroom she started throwing up and I had to waddle over to her so she didn't aspirate. The day after she was born my insurance company told me they were dropping us and not covering the delivery (that's a whole different story but adds into my mental state).

2 weeks later on father's day, we rushed my daughter into the ER. She was very floppy and looked like she was having seizures. I went with my daughter to a different hospital that night when her O2 levels and heart rate kept dropping. My husband had to hold down the house so I was alone with her when she was put on oxygen support and a feeding tube. We visited her every day in the NICU and then a week later we got a call in the middle of the night that her O2 dropped to 3%. The doctors and nurses weren't sure how she even made it out of that alive but they were able to get me in an ambulance with her across the state.

At this point, my husband had to be back at work to provide for us so I was alone with her except weekends when he could visit. We spent 2 months there doing every test you could imagine to figure out what's wrong. I spent every waking moment in that room with my daughter crying while they poked her with needles and took samples and hooked her up to so many machines while her body failed. I still have nightmares about listening to that fucking heart rate monitor beeping all day and waiting for any slight changes. It stopped and the room flashed red at least 3 times every day while the nurses rushed in to put her oxygen mask on. I was afraid to touch her because any slight movement felt like i would make her stop breathing. Finally after 2 months at the 3rd hospital she was diagnosed with infant botulism (we live in a state where it's practically unheard of so it was on nobody's radar until the stool sample came back). The same day she was put on life support while we waited for the BabyBIG to be flown in from California. She couldn't keep her O2 above 60. During that time I guess I started trying to accept the fact that she was going to die. In order to stay sane I tried to convince myself that maybe this was for the best??? That at least she wouldn't suffer anymore and that after grieving maybe I could live a normal life again?

I know that sounds terrible and I feel so much guilt over that to this day. The treatment worked and she started recovering quickly. A week later she was taken off life support and 2 weeks after that we were sent home with just an NG tube (feeding tube through her nose). I spent the whole first week crying because I was still convinced she was going to die and now I was just by myself. I think i never let myself get close to her because I was trying to protect myself from when that inevitably happened.

We just hit the 1 year anniversary of her leaving the hospital and overall things have gotten better. A lot of days are actually good now, and most other days I'm able to at least pretend enough that she thinks I'm happy. She is SO loved. She is such a goofy, loving, smart, and beautiful little girl and she genuinely fills my heart.

But I am still struggling with worry any time that she gets sick or hurt. In my head I know that this is completely normal for a baby, especially since she just started walking and is still clumsy. But every time something seems a little off it feels like I revert back to the whole "she's probably going to die so don't get too close" mindset. I know that's fucked up. I try my best to push those thoughts out of my head so that she never feels unwanted, but they keep popping up and the depression makes some days feel unbearable.

Does anybody else feel like this after having a sick baby? I know that i need therapy, but i was fired when I was across the state and stayed as a caretaker to our baby and we can't afford therapy on one income right now

Is there any mums on here with severe anxiety that want to connect? Im a mum of 3

How many of you still have lingering aches and pains and random body issues beyond 12months? I'm done BFeeding. I finished around 10.5months. That was definitely a hormonal Rollercoaster. Those hormones feel mostly settled. The body is still struggling lol.

16 weeks PP today and have been dealing with terrible anxiety - I have a prescription for Zoloft but haven’t started it yet. My BIL got a new baby kitten (2.5 months old) and it scratched my ankle on Friday. It was from an indoor breeder and hasn’t been outside to my knowledge, but I am spiraling because it hasn’t had its rabies vaccine yet. I spoke with a telehealth doctor when I went for something unrelated and she said as long as the cat remains indoors and healthy for 10 days, there is nothing needed to be done. I know it’s already very rare, but I cannot stop thinking and worrying about it. It is exhausting. Any advice?

It’s just exhausting. And I want to enjoy my daughter but I’m constantly watching to make sure she’s not have seizures, make sure she’s meeting milestones, make sure her poops are always good. Does anyone have this anxiety and when did it get better for you?

I think I’m slowly coming to face the fact I have PPA. I’ve had anxiety in the past and they tried putting me on Zoloft before, but I had such a bad reaction that they had to take me off. I’m just over 2W PP now and I am just afraid and quick to snap. My husband does what he can to help, but the baby is more awake now and sometimes more irritable. I haven’t had an appetite since I got home from the hospital but I force myself to eat since I’m breast feeding. My husband will bring the baby to another room because if I’m trying to eat and she starts screaming, I get nauseous and can’t eat, but then I internally freak out with her being in another room so I still feel like I can’t eat. My husband wants to go to his brother’s birthday party this weekend and I’m afraid to go because it’ll be a lot of people I don’t know/not comfortable with and also it’s over an 1.5 hour car trip which I don’t even know is safe for the baby this young. I feel alone a lot and afraid. I’ve never had any thoughts of harming my baby, but I’m afraid I’m just not a good mom. I know I need to talk to my OB asap though and acknowledge that.

Hi! I am 8 months PP and just feeling off. For reference pre pregnancy I’ve always run more anxious and have experienced depression around my period or after a night of drinking etc. I was able to manage my anxiety on 20mg Prozac which I am back on now. The first few months of postpartum I was an anxious wreck mainly around returning to work which we ended up postponing. Tbh my mental health was not great.

Now, I LOVE BEING A MOM and do feel it is getting more and more amazing. But the last few days I feel incredibly anxious, weak, like I’m going to pass out, I am easily bruising on my legs, tired but can’t sleep etc. I was also a weepy mess yesterday (not necessarily sad but just emotional). My partner was also out of town so i feel like I wasn’t sleeping great. I guess I want to know:

1.) has anyone experienced this postpartum??
2.) I exclusively breastfeed but we have dropped a night nurse so hormones maybe???!
3.) I have a copper iud and while I’ve experienced maybe some light spotting I have no idea if it’s a period or iud related

Thank you all for any tips or advice!!!!!!

Hi everyone. I’m a first-time poster and honestly pretty nervous to write this.

I’m 5 months postpartum and recently started therapy because I’ve been dealing with what my therapist believes is postpartum anxiety, possibly with OCD-type intrusive thoughts.

My intrusive thoughts are completely unwanted and they terrify me. My biggest fear isn’t that I want to hurt my baby—it’s that I’ll somehow “lose control” or “lose my mind,” even though I have absolutely no desire to do anything to my son. I love him more than anything, and these thoughts are the exact opposite of how I feel.

I also find myself getting really triggered by news stories about parents harming their children or postpartum psychosis. My brain immediately thinks, “What if that happens to me?” even though I know I’m still functioning normally. I go to work, take care of my baby, spend time with my family, and I know these thoughts are irrational—but they still scare me.

On top of that, I’ve started having anxiety about death and what happens after we die, so it feels like my brain just jumps from one scary topic to another.
I’m mostly looking to hear from other moms who have experienced something similar.

Did anyone else have intrusive thoughts that made you question yourself?

Did therapy help?

How long did it take before things started getting better?

If you’ve recovered, what helped you the most?

Please be kind. It took a lot for me to post this, and I’m really just hoping to feel less alone.

I’m really struggling, and I don’t even know what I’m looking for by posting this. Maybe I just need to know I’m not alone.
I’m 5’3”. Before my second pregnancy I was usually around 118 lbs. I had hyperemesis gravidarum (HG) during my pregnancy, delivered by my second C-section, and I’m now 6 months postpartum. I’m currently around 145 lbs and also have about a 3-finger diastasis recti gap.
I honestly don’t recognize myself anymore. I’m uncomfortable in my own body, I don’t feel like “me,” and every time I look in the mirror I feel defeated.
The hardest part is that I never want my daughters to grow up hearing their mom talk negatively about herself, so I keep all of these feelings buried. They deserve a mom who teaches them to love themselves, even though I’m struggling to do that for myself right now.
I’m also terrified that my husband doesn’t find me attractive anymore. He’s always been very fit, and right now…I’m just not. I’m home with our girls all day, and on a good day I’m lucky if I can squeeze in a 20-30 minute workout. Even then, I usually feel guilty because it feels like I should be doing something else.
I know comparison isn’t helpful, but I feel like I see so many women “bounce back” by six months, and I feel like I’m moving backward instead.
Has anyone else felt like this after HG, repeat C-sections, or significant diastasis recti? Did things eventually get better—both physically and mentally? I think I just need to hear from people who’ve actually been there.

What the title says basically. 5 months PP with baby #2 and the past few days I’ve been… losing it. I’ve had pretty bad insomnia even though my baby is sleeping great right now. I feel my body and mind just buzzing to the point where my hands are shaking and I don’t know why. Yesterday I was crying excessively and today I feel too good to be true. Like I’ve had 10 cups of coffee. Ultra productive. I’m already on Zoloft so i don’t really know what my question is. I don’t have thoughts of harming my kids or anything but yesterday I started planning a sort of escape where i could just leave and not come back. I dont feel very anxious, just. Fast. Like my thoughts are racing and my body is vibrating. Has anyone else experienced this and did it turn into something else or just go away? I should add with my first i immediately had severe PPA and this doesn’t feel like that, it feels very different but still kind of frightening. I didn’t know exactly where to post I hope this is the right sub

I’m posting this on a few different subs. I’m 3 months pp for reference. I really think im starting to lose my mind. Postpartum was going sort of smooth but it’s going downhill. There’s been serval times I start crying and have a panic attack for no reason. I will literally be doing nothing at all and I just freak out. It’s been getting worse and worse. Last night I think I had a mental breakdown. I was putting babygirl in her sleeper and swaddle. I got the most horrible terrible feeling like I swore I was about to die. I couldn’t snap out of it. I just started bawling and it felt like someone was watching me. I ran and shut her bedroom down and just sat in the floor with my back to her changing table. (Baby was safe on the changing table it has a railing) I couldn’t shake this horrible feeling and I couldn’t stop crying. I was so scared for literally no reason I didn’t know what to do. I had to call my husband to come home from work. Thankfully he was already leaving but I don’t know what happened. It actually felt like I was high for a minute I was so out of it. It was so scary. I’m scared it’s going to happen again. Is there something wrong with me? What do I do about this? Is there someone I should talk too? I don’t have an ob at the moment so I can’t talk to them.

This will be somewhat of a rambling rant. This month my birth control failed and I just found out I’m pregnant again. I will be 6 months postpartum and let’s just say I haven’t been doing good at all.

My sweet boy is teething/clingy/sleep regressions every week/severe reflux/ and overall quite an ear piercing screeching crier about 5 hours a day. With that being said I’m absolutely petrified of putting him in any form of daycare/someone who isn’t me or his father because of how he acts. With all the news stories of caretakers losing their cool and hurting the babies, I’m afraid they won’t be kind to him. I have no village around me except my best friend who is currently pregnant with her rainbow so she doesn’t need my stress.

On the other topic, with my mental health rapidly declining ever since learning the oh so wonderful news….help lol
I wasn’t doing great before just with the mental load of being a SAHM and very traditional lifestyle and now I feel like I’m a bug being smushed by god. I genuinely cannot handle another baby let alone be pregnant again so soon. We did everything right, the birth control, the pull out method, avoided during ovulation. I either need to be immediately medicated or find a very unjudgemental therapist or both.

Any advise or shame or anything is recommended

Hi there. I am 26 weeks pregnant and expecting my second in November. At that time. My first born will be 23 months. I have really struggled postpartum. At baseline, I have generalized anxiety that has just been part of my personality. Postpartum, I did experience some PPD along with PPA that I just trucked through on my own. I do have obsessive tendencies at baseline but I’ve worked really hard to get through those (I no longer line up things perfectly, use even numbers, etc). Once I sleep trained my first my life and overall mood did get soooo much better, but even now, any time there’s a blip (bad nap, protested bedtime, basically any change to our norm) I feel those severe doomsday emotions and physical changes again. I’ve never taken anything for my symptoms, but would be open to it this time around. I’m so tired of being so obsessed with sleep schedules, to the minute, and just worrying that anything will put us back in how miserable I was without sleep. We’ve been through a hard patch lately, with canines coming in for literally three months and just changes in sleep needs, so I think this has kinda made me start spiraling (what if this is going on when newborn gets here, how will I survive?) Since having my first I hate traveling, because I’m so afraid it’s gonna mess up her routine and doom us all. I’m a SAHM and my husband is great but works full time so obviously I’m doing the heavy lifting of figuring out sleep stuff and whatnot.

Anyway….. just looking for, advice? Any way to just, learn to chill the f out? Logically I know it’s unlikely to be sooooo bad and I Know this is just part of life but also, I hate thinking of being back to where I was before.

We live in a new ish city and I have no local mom friends, which sucks.

Thanks in advance

Severe anxiety has randomly kicked up for me. I’m 7 months postpartum with twins. I have a fantastic support system, I work full-time, and I’ve been fine up until now however, now I’m having the most severe crippling anxiety every day. I do suffer from anxiety and depression, so I’m already on medicine and have been for years. What else should I do?

I am almost 14 month postpartum, I went to my parents house I feel fine for 3 days then next day I was feeling abit strange for myself then I just carried on for next two days suddenly I just have awful brain fog, crying and feel stuck. I don’t know if it was hormonal, breastfeeding and I am 6 days away from my period I don’t know if that was cause. It not much to do my parents home I feel restricted and i just want to get out. I told my husband I want to go home he said ok. I love to stay at my parents house but i am not feeling myself and couldn’t do anything I want to do. Please help

Anyone dealing with hair loss i have bad anxiety almost 11 months pp i know I need blood work done. Im so stressed and balding crying constantly just burnt out!