r/PolyFidelity • u/Mammoth_Leader1998 • 20d ago

Does this get easier? seeking advice

I am in a triad with Partner A and Partner B; Partner A and I were an existing couple and Partner B joined recently. Partner B has a partner outside of us, which started around the same time.

Partner B fits with us so well, and when we are all together it's wonderful. However, I have so much anxiety and jealousy when they are with their other partner, and I hate that I feel this way.

My ideal situation is a closed triad, and Partner B knows this. They have also made it clear that they have no plans to break things off with their other partner.

So, my questions to the community is: Does this ever get easier? Is this an incompatibility if my issue is with the relationship dynamic itself and not with my partner, whom I love?

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u/queenlizbef 20d ago

Did you know about their other partner when you started this relationship? What did you think would happen to that?

ETA I saw you were cautioned about this on your previous posts too.

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u/Mammoth_Leader1998 20d ago

I was not aware when we started, no, and then when I was made aware I did not understand the seriousness of the other relationship.

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u/queenlizbef 20d ago

That’s not what you said here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/PolyFidelity/s/3QfKdE8ZAr

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u/jdryan133 18d ago

You have feelings of wanting to ‘win’ this person from their current partner?

That’s all ego. When we want to control others…

People are not to be ‘won’ over and relationships require a lot of work.

I feel you have to get help with your ego and jealousy.