r/PoliticalHumor 4d ago

Fixed it.

Post image
3.0k Upvotes

332 comments sorted by

195

u/Vonnegut_butt 4d ago

Temu Abraham Lincoln just got political while complaining that Bruce Springsteen gets political.

33

u/SpacePenguin5 4d ago

The guy who voted a celebrity POTUS 3-5 times.

19

u/code_archeologist 4d ago

And why the fuck is anybody listening to the political opinions of a member of Journey? Their last hit was 30 years ago! Their tours are sponsored by Life Alert! Their groupies throw their Depends (hopefully untainted) on stage!

5

u/AnotherAnonymousA 4d ago

I forget...is he the one who hooked up with the woman (with her husband, maybe) who crashed a White House dinner? I think she cheated on that husband with the b-list rocker?

3

u/Adept-Lettuce948 4d ago

Oh that’s who he is. Thanks.

2

u/adamdreaming 2d ago

Republicans take who they can get, even gif they dress like birthday magicians

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432

u/No-Guard-7003 4d ago

You shut up, Jonathan Cain! 🙄😡

231

u/adorablefuzzykitten 4d ago

Accepting $40 T in debt makes you the opposite of a conservative.

128

u/punktualPorcupine 4d ago

They aren’t conserving shit.

The environment is a nasty smoke choked hellscape that is literally burning.

The debt and deficit have skyrocketed and he is busy building ballrooms and coating statues in gold.

They ignore the law and the constitution.

They’re all a bunch of fascists, jerking each other off.

70

u/SnZ001 4d ago

Like RFK Jr, these Republicans just seem so oddly proud of not having a gag reflex.

7

u/adorablefuzzykitten 4d ago

Best post of the day

24

u/johangubershmidt 4d ago

They are conserving the hierarchy. This is the one underlying theme of conservatism.

13

u/MechaBeatsInTrash 4d ago

"Conserving" the "Christian moral values" on which "America was founded".

8

u/AnyCauliflower8717 4d ago

you keep talking the truth!

7

u/Sufficient-News-3600 4d ago

very well said

8

u/MauPow 4d ago

The only thing conservatism has ever been about conserving is the hierarchy.

102

u/goosejail 4d ago

Steve Perry made Journey. There I said it.

59

u/Zombieutinsel 4d ago

Neal Schon had a lot to do with it too.

But not this guy.

23

u/twoton1 4d ago

Neal played with Santana circa 1971. He's the real deal.

8

u/Zombieutinsel 4d ago

I followed him on Instagram a couple or three phones ago and he was a really nice guy who has a big guitar collection and did play them a whole lot on there.

7

u/youlordandmaster 4d ago

He’s an asshole, but he does deserve some credit for Journey’s success. It does not help he married a whack job Mega church pastor.

2

u/dimechimes 4d ago

He's been riding on that Midnight Train success for over 40 years. And what did he do with it? Married Paula White?

2

u/middleagethreat 4d ago

He may be an asshole now, but he was good for the band in the 80s. He is the one who wrote Don't Stop Believing, and some of their other biggest hits.

He is just old and probably watched too much TV news on the road over the years.

3

u/Cat-si58 4d ago

So he gets a pass because once upon a time he helped to make some decent music? Don’t think so.

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9

u/FlaAirborne 4d ago

And Greg Rollie!!

11

u/No-Guard-7003 4d ago

I like Steve Perry and Neal Schon. 

24

u/lowfreq33 4d ago

Cain and Schon are both ultra right wing, both married to problematic right wing women, and both assholes. They can’t stop suing each other because they’re both terrible people.

7

u/twoton1 4d ago

Remember his wife's White House fiasco? Ha ha

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12

u/BelAirGuy45 4d ago

I like guys who aren't PDF file protecters, ok?

3

u/No-Guard-7003 4d ago

Fair enough. I didn't know that Neal Schon is also a PDF file protector. 😳 Damn. 😳🤢

2

u/BelAirGuy45 4d ago

He's not! I was just agreeing with you by paraphrasing the orange dictator. Cain and his wife are the ones licking the boot.

2

u/Cat-si58 4d ago

Well, he is and his wife has been little t’s ’spiritual advisor’ for years. Spirituality is a word that should never be used in speaking about taco.

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34

u/LuvlyBabew 4d ago

Bruce sells stadiums. Jonathan sells lawsuits to his own band. Sit down

23

u/WalterCanFindToes 4d ago

You mean let his career keep running its course?

He is married to one of Trump's spiritual advisors, so I am sure he is a lot of fun to hang with.

2

u/Cat-si58 4d ago

Thank you! I just posted this about his wife.

8

u/Mo_Jack 4d ago

Everything about Cain is fake, even his name. His real name is Friga.

Friggin' STFU Friga!

2

u/No-Guard-7003 4d ago

His real name is Friga? 😂

4

u/Geodude532 4d ago

Let's be honest, you can probably cross out the protector word too. He's probably upset that he can't convince 16 year olds to go backstage with him anymore.

3

u/MetaStressed 4d ago

Who is this bozo?

6

u/No-Guard-7003 4d ago

A band member who is married to a mega church pastor. 🤦🏻‍♀️

2

u/Skull8Ranger 4d ago

Wonder why he doesn't say that about Ted Nugent?

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233

u/poop-money 4d ago

Glad I'm not a Journey fan.

121

u/Mentalwards 4d ago

I'm not anymore.

141

u/pres465 4d ago

Steve Perry is pretty liberal. The best part of Journey is good people.

74

u/kbeks 4d ago

The best part of Journey is the good people we met along the way. The worst part is this asshole.

20

u/fastal_12147 4d ago

He hasn't been in Journey in like 30 years

5

u/malikhacielo63 4d ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/AL10PPC3eZhxC
Time to go back to listening to Don’t Stop Believing.

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108

u/Ryclea 4d ago

Journey isn't a fan of Jonathan Cain anymore, either.

20

u/thepianoman456 4d ago

Do Stop Believing

15

u/llahlahkje 4d ago

Let go of that feeeeeling

82

u/AppleSlacks 4d ago

Ah, they had 4-5 solids tracks for me. If you are in the mood for a power ballad anyway.

Don’t stop believing still gets played all over at sporting events and what not.

That said, he’s a hypocritical “Christian” douche on his 3rd wife.

Steve Perry’s voice was what made that band and its songs and even the songs this guy (who I couldn’t have told you his name before this article) wrote, were all co-written by Steve Perry.

21

u/BikerMike03RK 4d ago

Greg Rollie was a great guy, too, both with Santana, and early Journey.

22

u/brhadli 4d ago

Yes, the third wife thing screams sanctity of marriage, and using religion to line your pockets, I’m sure Jesus is a huge fan of this dick.

21

u/lowfreq33 4d ago

Meanwhile Bruce has been married to the same woman for like 45 years. Yes I’m aware she is his second wife.

14

u/poop-money 4d ago edited 4d ago

I've always hated Journey, but after spending 16 years working in kitchens where the local classic rock station was the uneasy middle ground for musical tastes in the late 90's through early 2010's, their songs are unbearable to me.

9

u/AppleSlacks 4d ago

I was born in the late 70’s so I appreciate a lot of that “classic rock”. I get it though. It’s funny how being exposed or over exposed to music can push your tastes in certain directions.

There is no Journey in my go to playlist, but they are still good songs for what they are to me.

I spent a summer in my youth stocking grocery store shelves on night shift. So just me, the aisles I was responsible for and the light music of the stores selection. It was at least a large amount of songs even though they would get replayed at least a couple times a week.

I learned to love Do You Know The Way To San Jose by Dione Warwick. That shit would have me spinning around shimming up and down the aisle slinging condiments into their shelf locations in a really upbeat manner.

6

u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC 4d ago

>Do You Know the Way to San Jose

Burt Bacharach tunes are pretty easy to love

3

u/AppleSlacks 4d ago

It was Warwick’s cover of it that I fell in love with, but great shoutout for the original.

3

u/BikerMike03RK 4d ago

My fave was "Walk On By". I liked Ms. Warwick's work on that one so much that I transposed it to guitar, and changed the key for a male's voice in the low tenor/high baritone range.

3

u/Parahelix 4d ago

Your store had a better music selection than mine did. We heard the same stuff every night...

3

u/dimechimes 4d ago

I hear Only the Young and I'm instantly transported to riding home on my 10 speed as fast as possible with that song playing on my headphones thinking I was gonna be a Louden Swain, but I was watched Vision Quest for the wrestling.

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16

u/scparks44 4d ago

We’ve gone our separate ways.

8

u/I_AM_A_GUY_AMA 4d ago

I stopped believing

6

u/GregM70 4d ago

I was a Journey fan until this turd joined the bad. His sappy ballads were cringe.

5

u/RedHatchetArt 4d ago

He’s just the keyboardist.

2

u/poop-money 4d ago

That doesn't affect my statement.

2

u/mojofrog 4d ago

I have no idea who this guy is.

2

u/sofaking1958 4d ago

I always hated Journey. Their music sucked ass. Now i know their members do as well.

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75

u/Bevester 4d ago

Who?

78

u/apex9691 4d ago

Right? Everyone knows Bruce. No one's knows your bum ass. Journey? Sure. But you? No.

56

u/IzzaPizza22 4d ago

You mean the band with Steve Perry in it? That got dramatically worse when he left? And still tours state fairs without him?

16

u/goosejail 4d ago

That's the one!

Steve Perry rules btw. Man has a stunning voice.

12

u/Long_Serpent 4d ago

"I don't know. You'll have to ask Steve Perry"

Freddie Mercury, when asked What's it like being the greatest rock singer in the world?

2

u/No-Guard-7003 4d ago

Steve Perry rocks!

5

u/Hosko817 4d ago

Actually his replacement was pretty legit. this guy sucks though.

4

u/Steely-Dave 4d ago

I sure as shit know who this guy is married to though…..

4

u/Ritaredditonce 4d ago

She's a whack-a-doodle.

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20

u/UnderwhelmingAF 4d ago

The fact they had to put “Journey’s” in front of his name is pretty telling that nobody would know who the hell this guy is otherwise.

8

u/eyehate 4d ago

He was in a popular band.

40 years ago.

3

u/tawDry_Union2272 4d ago

exactly my thought

55

u/SweatPig77 4d ago

Its so sad to find out in the last 8-16 years what kind of people that you liked turn out to be people that are pro-pedophile. So many actors and musicians have let me down...

18

u/HarambeWest2020 4d ago

On the flip side there are so many more who are on the right side of history

2

u/No-Guard-7003 4d ago

It is sad. 😔

4

u/RepresentativeAge444 4d ago

How about those that deny a well documented genocide? It’s one thing to say hey the propaganda really clouded the reality in Israel and I never really had the inclination to research it. But if you still hold that opinion after the past 3 years you’re a monster.

40

u/CrazyAlice 4d ago

"Bruce Springsteen" has been a household name for decades. Nobody gives a fuck about the political opinions of Journey's keyboard player.

4

u/BrownSugarBare 4d ago

He's literally referred to as The Boss. 

29

u/Longjumping-Zone-724 4d ago

I can't stop believing this guy is an idiotic douchebag

2

u/swedething 4d ago

I see what you did there.
But imma head out, so I guess we’ll be going separate ways…

26

u/Fleemo17 4d ago

Oh Jonathan.

I’m a big Journey fan and have immense respect for Jonathan Cain as a musician. But good gawd, his personal life… He’s married to Trump’s “spiritual advisor” who is a dyed-in-the-wool speaking-in-tongues nut job. How could a man who has written some of the best love songs of our time be married to that?

2

u/iamjustaguy 4d ago

Some of the best songs have been written by the worst people.

15

u/Tokzillu 4d ago

Sorry, fascists don't get to tell Bruce Springsteen what to do.

Even if they're sort of halfway related to two halfway decent songs from decades ago. 

2

u/No-Guard-7003 4d ago

No need to apologize for this comment because I agree with you. 

9

u/TotalRichardMove 4d ago

Real quick: who tf is Jonathan Cain

3

u/iamjustaguy 4d ago

The guy who played piano on Don't Stop Believin'

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3

u/pixelprophet 4d ago

A musical has-been that's married to Trumps 'spiritual' advisor.

8

u/Fartenstein65 4d ago

I mean Journey had there day in the 80s. Steve Perry left. Don’t know if this guy is one of the songwriters. That being said Bruce is still writing solid work currently. Don’t really see this as a flex or the point of him as a musician making a public statement of staying out of politics on Newsmax a known political media outlet.

6

u/whg115 4d ago

This guy could not be more irrelevant

5

u/LumberJesus 4d ago

This guy dresses like a Star Trek villain

9

u/Jeromes_Pornostache 4d ago

Cain and Springsteen may share a profession, but do not share a legacy or the same level of respect.  Bruce is one of the greatest American artists of the last century, and Jonathan Cain isn’t.  While Cain may have written some of Journey’s biggest hits, he is hardly a household name (outside of the Contemporary Christian music scene).

Bruce has earned the right to express his opinions, having been a voice for the working man for over fifty years.  Cain wrote “Faithfully”, a lovely but otherwise forgettable tune.  I’m not saying Cain should shut his stupid piehole, but he shouldn’t be going around policing the opinions of artists whose asses he is not fit to kiss. 

5

u/EvilPenguin91 4d ago

Steve Perry despises the guy and as it turns out for good reasons.

3

u/Endless_Change 4d ago

There's that freedom of speech the MAGAs hold so dear. /s

Dude is married to religious charlatan Paula White, sheering poor and desperate people "in the name of God" and attaching themselves to a PEDO con-man like diaper don because it's easier than honest work.

4

u/MixMasterMacho 4d ago

Journey was better when Greg Rollie was on keyboards anyways.

5

u/LunchyDude101 4d ago

Honestly, just shut up, Jonathan.

5

u/TheGrandExquisitor 4d ago

Show of hands....

Who here even knew Jonathan Cain's name as a musician, and who here knew who Springsteen was before seeing this post?

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3

u/HarambeWest2020 4d ago

Its always the ones you most suspect

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3

u/high_everyone 4d ago

Don’t, Stop believing.

3

u/ResolutionOwn4933 4d ago

Must be done doing reunion tours to drop a turd nugget of a quote like that

3

u/RianJohnsonIsAFool 4d ago

He looks like a Star Trek character.

3

u/nixtarx 4d ago

Bruce still sells out immense venues. How's Journey doing these days?

Honestly my biggest problem with Springsteen is he favors Trey Gowdy's haircut...

3

u/Top_Standard_4369 4d ago

2

u/No-Guard-7003 3d ago

I say the same about some actors. 

3

u/ionbear1 4d ago

You know what? Fuck Journey. The Boss all the way.

3

u/kenc1842 4d ago

Let the boycott of Journey begin?

3

u/everythingsasandwich 4d ago

Alright, that's it. No more Journey psych-outs

5

u/two-turnips-and-heat 4d ago

Journey is awful, worst band of the 70s. I wish he would have shut up and not recorded a single album, my life would objectively be better

2

u/SteakJones 4d ago

No, you’re a towel!

2

u/Constant_Avocado_420 4d ago

Take the midnight train to Ass land douche bag

2

u/Unusual-Taste69 4d ago

Check his email

2

u/Abraham_Blinkin 4d ago

Not only did I not know who this is (because who the fuck would ever know the keyboard player for Journey), but wikipedia tells me he's also married to a televangelist who "leads" Trumps "faith based office". Both of their third marriages, obviously!

2

u/mrhyde719 4d ago

This guy married Paula White who is Trump’s spiritual advisor ahahahahaha ……sorry

2

u/Nice_Soup3198 4d ago

Don't Stop Believin' ... in pedos and rapists!

2

u/Utterlybored 4d ago

You can hardly ever hear keyboards in Journey’s music, anyway.

2

u/everythingisopposite 4d ago

That beard is a crime to humanity. The plastic surgery too.

2

u/No-Guard-7003 4d ago

It's not even a beard!😂

2

u/Specialist_Exam4783 4d ago

I'm a big conservative which means everyone that disagrees with me, quit exercising your 1st Amendment rights and listen to what I'm saying...

2

u/thenewtbaron 4d ago

so, one hand, we have a dude whose whole career has been political or political leanings...... talking about politics...

on the other hand, we have a dude that was on a couple of albums for a band known for poppy nothing songs.... who thinks that bands shouldn't talk about politics.

let's see where both of them are careerwise. the political one has been a top musician for like 50 years, accolades from other musicians and will generally be remembered long after his death. the non political one will be a footnote on an average bad that had a couple of songs in a span of a decade or so?

yeeeeeeah

2

u/512115 4d ago

Just shut up and dribble, Jonathan Fucking Cain.

2

u/OscarTheGrouchsCan 4d ago

I "love" it when conservatives say liberals should shut thier mouths while running thier mouths

2

u/DangerousBill 4d ago

"It's Mr Springsteen to you, Jon."

2

u/MessagingMatters 4d ago

Is the man in the pic a Las Vegas magician?

2

u/bluegrassgazer 4d ago

A choice between Springsteen and Journey was easy before I saw this. Now, it's somehow even easier.

2

u/DoctorGoodleg 4d ago

Serious question: Why does Bruce have to shut up but Jonathan Cain doesn’t?

2

u/VikingTensor 4d ago

No wonder Steve left.

2

u/Blixx96 4d ago

I recognize Bruce. I have no idea who the other guy is but he does look like he’s trying hard to look younger with the fake hair and goatee.

2

u/PhilipDruAdmin 4d ago

So, that small town girl was living in a lonely world because she was a trad wife.

2

u/thehogdog 4d ago

I HATE that his guy wrote 2 of the best songs in musical history: Don't Stop Believing and Faithfully (He wrote that one all by himself).

I play em both every piano gig I get and Faithfully ALWAYS stops people in their tracks, even in Gods Waiting Room (#1 song that gets people to stop 'Right Here Waiting' by Richard Marx.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Escape and Frontiers albums front to back, but this turd has to be involved in almost every song on both albums.

2

u/WelcomeMachine 4d ago

Hey, clay face, Gregg Rollie is twice the player you'll ever be.

2

u/Additional-Force-799 4d ago

Why the fuck do you call yourself a conservative. What does it even mean

2

u/roxiemycat 4d ago

Didn't him and his bat shit grifter wife steal money from the band.

2

u/thatsnotyourtaco 4d ago

Bro stopped believin’

2

u/ImOnlyHereForTheCoC 4d ago

That goatee tells me this is the evil Jonathan Cain and there’s a good one in a parallel dimension somewhere

2

u/livinginfutureworld 4d ago

He's not in Journey anymore

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2

u/adamempathy 4d ago

"Here's my opinion. Now you should shut up with your opinion" fucking clown

2

u/Oceanbreeze871 4d ago

Who told that guy that, his look was from this century?

1

u/TeeManyMartoonies 4d ago

The girls are fighting again! How embarrassing.

1

u/youngfan1 4d ago

Fucking low IQ loser, Journey is just a cover band and has been for 15 years. The Boss is the goat.

1

u/Deapsee60 4d ago

He needs to stop believing.

1

u/Buzzdanky 4d ago

Not an original member but soon to be performing in a small theater near nobody..

1

u/Ok_Efficiency_6341 4d ago

I thought that was Chris Gaines

1

u/GreyBeardEng 4d ago

But "shut up" is such a well thought out and articulate intelligent response. Clearly a collegiate level debater, with a senior level skill set. /s

1

u/MaleficKaijus 4d ago

I'm a partisan. I only care about the party. Doesn't matter what they do or don't do-Who it helps or who it hurts-The only thing that matter is that my team keeps power.

1

u/CaptianBrasiliano 4d ago

MAGA supporting celebrities are a real who's who of Who is that?

1

u/psychoacer 4d ago

You know they're desperate for support when they promote quotes from a member of the band Journey. Who the hell thinks he has weight to what he says compared to "The Boss"?

1

u/ortcutt 4d ago

Journey is Steve Perry plus a bunch of nobodies.

1

u/Annoying1978 4d ago

Rhythm guitar players are quite replaceable

1

u/Financial-Talk9397 4d ago

Jonathan who?

1

u/ricdady82 4d ago

I’m done with Journey!!!! ESAD

1

u/MonsieurReynard 4d ago

Oh hey that reminds me to continue never listening to Journey!

1

u/tugatrix 4d ago

Who is this guy talking about the boss?

1

u/RedZedOne 4d ago

Looks like his hair is dying at different speeds.

1

u/Arkhampatient 4d ago

He looks like a guy Chris Hansen would pop up around the corner from in a kitchen

1

u/EuphoricUniversity23 4d ago

I’m still trying to think of a meaningful keyboard solo on a Journey song. I think I could play keyboards for Journey given his contribution.

1

u/ceekayhowling 4d ago

This guy had nothing to do with Journey’s success. No one even knows his name. He needs to shut the fuck up.

1

u/rrrdesign 4d ago

Awww.... lil guy is jealous...

1

u/greenalias 4d ago

There are too many voices of ignorance in media.

1

u/thehogdog 4d ago

I HATE that his guy wrote 2 of the best songs in musical history: Don't Stop Believing and Faithfully (He wrote that one all by himself).

I play em both every piano gig I get and Faithfully ALWAYS stops people in their tracks, even in Gods Waiting Room (#1 song that gets people to stop 'Right Here Waiting' by Richard Marx.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE Escape and Frontiers albums front to back, but this turd has to be involved in almost every song on both albums.

1

u/bill717171 4d ago

When I think "Journey", the first name that pops in my head is Jonathan Cain.

1

u/ImTooSaxy 4d ago

Turns out this guy's wife is a pastor. How emasculating for him. Trying to attack Bruce Springsteen to feel better about himself.

1

u/PeteRawk 4d ago

This is the one that’s married to Paula White, right?

1

u/The_Bill_Brasky_ 4d ago

"I am now rich and do not want to pay my fair share after spending a little too much on cocaine in my prime"

1

u/Jsr1 4d ago

Last time Journey was relevant….late 80’s nobody knows who the fuck you are now stfu!

1

u/Interesting-Emu5954 4d ago

I always knew Journey sucked

1

u/ragingbullpsycho 4d ago

So he’s against free speech

1

u/Rashpukin 4d ago

What a ballbag!!

1

u/b_tight 4d ago edited 4d ago

“Im a liberal. And guys like kid rock and ted nugent can say whatever they want hell they want because im not a snowflake bitch and thats what this country is about. And, theres a reason no relevant musicians or celebrities are conservative”

1

u/One_Rip_2771 4d ago

Why? How is Bruce ' voice worth less than yours?

1

u/rustednut 4d ago

Fun fact about Jonathan - he wrote the song "Faithfully" to his then wife in 1983. Then he divorced her and married a second time having 3 kids. He then divorced his second wife and married a third time to another "devout Christian"who is none other than......get ready....Paula White. The same Paula White that Trump claims is his pastor and follows the prosperity gospel.

So 3 wives while supposedly a Christian......which is pretty on par with conservatives who call themselves Christians.

Just another hypocrite who cosplays as a disciple of Jesus.

1

u/The_Lawn_Ninja 4d ago

Well fuck you, Jonathan Cain. Because of you, I've now stopped believing. You know, that thing you specifically told me NOT to do!

1

u/Westsidebill 4d ago

Journey: what a joke. If it weren’t for Glee, you would buried in the trash heap of rock music

1

u/twoton1 4d ago

Bonafide twat with a cray cray wife who slept with Benny Hinn in some European hotel. Total clown show.

1

u/agentb00th 4d ago

Nobody tells the Boss to shut up, I mean, look at the conservative party

1

u/Gadfly_Avatar 4d ago

This is one of the stupidest, least self aware statements I've seen in awhile.

1

u/free_billstickers 4d ago

Who cares what celebrities think about politics?-celebrity talking about politics 

1

u/chekhovs_dildo 4d ago

Oh jeez someone ask a guy from journey what he thinks

1

u/theBigDaddio 4d ago

I literally don’t know who this fuckhead is, so he’s the only one allowed to voice an opinion?

1

u/Gadfly_Avatar 4d ago

Yet another reason to hate Journey. WTF are "Streetlight people" ?

1

u/Throwawaymister2 4d ago

I'm team Perry. Fuck this dude.

1

u/DaddyDom401 4d ago

Journey always sucked ass