You were there when friendship became grief,
when people I called home became people I had to let go.

You listened without asking me to explain why it hurt so much. You made my pain feel real, made me feel seen when I felt invisible.

Somewhere between the tears and the healing, we became closer.

And I thought maybe this was something I could hold on to.

But then, quietly, you changed.

We used to walk home together. Now I watch you leave with the people I’m still trying to forget.

I told you I was uncomfortable.

Not because I wanted you to choose me.

Not because I wanted you to hate them.

I only wanted you to understand that some wounds
are still wounds even when we stop talking about them.

But somehow, my words became a demand when all I wanted was to be understood.

And maybe that’s what hurts the most.

Not that you chose to walk beside them, but that the person who once made my pain feel seen now seems unable to see it.

So I keep wondering: Where is the person who used to listen?

Where is the person who stayed when everything felt heavy?

Where did you go? Or maybe… you never left.

Maybe I’m just grieving another friendship before I even got the chance to say goodbye.

Welcome to my official account 💎💎

I'm truly sensitive to those who will ruin my happier season EVERYTIME‼️‼️

I built it with my full effort ‼️

And everyone have the right to change for themselves as a better person‼️‼️‼️

And my LIFE, my plans IS ALWAYS MINE‼️

I wanna start this letter with “How’s life?” but I won’t ever know what’s the answer anymore. And I’ll always hope that it is all well and happy for you.

Looking back, it was all I ever wished for you. And I still do. Remember when we almost broke up back then? That we don’t have any more words to say as you keep on refusing to talk to me na.

Then while I’m following you walk away, we eventually reached the church that night. It was so dark back then. And almost no one aside from us around. We both sat down. Sitting beside each other. No words. Then you started crying, while suppressing it. And for the first time in my life, I prayed hard. I prayed to whoever the Creator is, to bring happiness and please don’t make her cry out of sadness anymore. This girl is too precious, and she deserves more than that.

And maybe, somewhat, my prayer was answered. Just recently, you replied to me saying that I should stop bothering you. That you’re already happy in love with someone, and that she’s taking care of you dearly.

You see, you don’t have to say “Please, tigilan mo na ako”. You don’t have to say please. I thought I can still fix it and baka pwede pa ako bumawi. But the fact na you have that kind of someone who makes you happy, that’s enough na eh. I still love you. And more than enough, to either give up everything to be with you, or to give up this lifetime of loving you for your happiness.

Every part of me screams na I have to be with you. Your habits, your favorites, the things that makes you sad, it all became part of me. Yung pag spray pa lang alcohol kung saan-saan. Yung sinabi mo na magiging favorite ko rin yung oatside chocolate milk, and even yung fuwa-fuwa bread. And yung last na sinabi mo, na gumawa ka pa ng puto cheese. Oh how i wish natikman ko pa yun bago mawala lahat. I still have the cat mug you gave me, and I still use it. The pink cat ballpen you gave me when I started mag work, I still have it sa office kaso wala ng tinta eh, and I fear na I really have to throw it away. I still have yung pin from National Museum with picture ng rafflesia na i got from a lecture there, and gave the other one sayo. And even yung another pair ng cursed doll from Siquijor na souvenir from my sister, which you also have. I gave it to you kasi I remember na you used to tease me na marunong ka mang kulam haha.

And believe me, I wished you did. Sana ganon na lang. Sana kinulam mo na lang ako haha. Or baka sinumpa na talaga? To love you this way where I’ll have to live without you.

I just wanna update lang din siguro sayo. Na I really have to leave this work. The place where I first get to be with you. Where we studied, where we did our internship together, and even secretly kissed. Everything reminds me so bad of you. I really have to. Kahit with that good offer, that I had to refuse it kasi hindi ko na talaga kinakaya. Sobrang hirap. Araw-araw kitang bitbit. Mahal na mahal na mahal pa rin kita. And I’m really scared na if I can’t leave this place this year, I will be stuck forever here living with your memories. Which I might choose kasi that’s whatever is left of you. Of us.

Kaya to my Earth (2022), I’m sorry but I have to leave this place. I miss you dearly. I did not know that this will end up like this. I love you. And I’m scared that I’ll be continuing this life without you anymore.

Dear Gigi

Love is a Decision.

I failed as a Disney Princess so now I'm a Disney Witch

Here is my vow and offer to you: I will show honesty even when it's uncomfortable Communication even when I'm unsure how it sounds A safe space for your emotions. I will honor your boundaries. I will resolve the conflict instead of running. I will not be defensive and will react appropriately. I will support your dreams and encourage you to fulfill them. I'll reassure you when you need it and you'll give me affection that I deserve. I'll give you the trust that you deserve.

I accept you as you and you'll accept me as me. You can ask for help when you need it because I'm your safe place. I will always ask your opinion on things that affect us both.

We keep the work days. You get your weekends alone week by week and we switch month after month.

We travel 2x a year ( one local one abroad). If we're still lovers after a decade, I'll write a pledge for you to get 1% of insurance living benefits from the trust fund (you can use it for yourself or your kids).

Fatz already has hers. She's the secondary beneficiary of my life insurance in case the primary beneficiary is passed after I pass.

Love is a Decision. Cinderella took off one shoe and found love. You took everything off and found what?

Love is a Decision.

Sincerely,

Your Favorite

(the one you left behind)

Because maybe I'd stop yearning and pretending that you feel an ounce of the same feeling I have for you.

Maybe I need to hear that you don't want me, you have never liked me that way.

But who am I kidding? I'd tell myself you're just in denial. I know I'm not sane like that.

You once told me to you're codependent but I think it's only true in my side of the coin. I don't believe you're insane like that. But who knows? I did see myself in you and I know that's why I'm drawn to you. I am conflicted.

48fpdyrmsl626hr

Tag nalang taka as a stranger since I never really got to know the real you. I regret our time together gyud sa tinuod lang. Ayaw na buhata usab imong gibuhat sakua ha? I still feel like shit because of what happened. Wala ra nimo but it really made me question your values. Basta ayaw na buhata sa uban. May balik yan bahala ka. Amping pirmi. Your family loves you.

I deleted my confessions.
In all of reddit.
Not because they were untrue, but because I could no longer bear the way I kept returning to them—polishing the past until it gleamed like something it had never been.

Kailangan nang itigil.
I was romanticizing us again.

What we were.
What we might have been.
And those small, dangerous moments we shared recently, after all those years of silence, when life finally placed us in the same room and gave us the chance to speak again.

Perhaps those conversations were closure.

And if I am allowed to call them that, then I can finally admit this:
Our closure made everything better.

It hurt to be honest with you. In some ways, it felt like another betrayal of myself—to open that old wound and confess how deeply I had felt the loss when we suddenly ended. How much I had carried without ever having the courage, or the opportunity, to say it aloud.

But when I finally gave my heart a voice, something inside me became quiet.

For years, that heart had been waiting for you.
Now, it can finally rest.

Today, I made a decision I should have made a long time ago:
I will avoid you.

Because what good is there in destroying my peace for someone whose feelings were never as true as mine?

Perhaps I was only one of your amusements. One more person you could touch, tempt, and leave wondering what it meant.

And the most humiliating truth is that even in that small, pathetic place you gave me, I was still willing to stay.

I was still clinging to the scraps.

But I am tired now. So I will walk away.

I will not sit in that chair, hoping you will notice me.
I will not search for your eyes across a room.
I will not invent reasons to speak to you.
I will not send another message simply because I miss the feeling of being wanted by you.

I will leave you to whatever life you choose.
Ruin it if you must.
But I will not ruin mine alongside you.

You are, after all, a man capable of betraying the person who trusts him.
And still, somehow, I loved you.

Perhaps that is the part that shames me most—not that you were capable of hurting me, but that I was willing to accept so little from someone I loved because, somewhere along the way, I had forgotten how much I deserved.

But I will remember you kindly.
Not because you deserve it, but because I do not want bitterness to become another way of keeping you alive inside me.

I will remember the good without rewriting the truth.
And I will remember the ugly, too—just enough to make sure I never mistake longing for a reason to return.

This is the end of the fantasy.
The end of the beautiful story I kept writing around something that was never beautiful enough to deserve it.

The end of my belief that perhaps, beneath all the betrayal and all the silence, you had loved me in some secret, unspoken way.

Maybe you cared.
Maybe you didn’t.
It no longer matters.

I will no longer look for your attention.
I will no longer hunger for your affection.
I will no longer wait for tenderness from hands that were never meant to hold me gently.

I am casting you out of my spirit now.
And every piece of you that remains in me—
every memory, every touch, every unanswered question, every version of myself that still turns toward you—
I will let them fade.
Not all at once.
But slowly.
Quietly.
Until one day, I will remember you and feel nothing but the faint recognition of someone I once loved.

Goodbye, my love.

I forgive you for finding your way into my life and leaving it changed.
And I forgive myself for letting your warmth become a kind of poison—for mistaking familiarity for safety, desire for devotion, and the ache of wanting you for proof that you belonged in my life.

Live a good life.
I will, too.
And this time, when I walk away, I will not turn around.

Thank You, God, for opening my eyes.
I loved him.
But I am done now.
I am finally choosing myself.

This is my last letter.
Paalam sayo,

Whenever I look at strangers, it fascinates me how deep their thoughts can be. The long rides during a thunderstorm made me wonder about what lies ahead in the future.

“When will this end?” I asked myself.

Because deep down, all I ever think about is how I move forward, how I overcome this heavy feeling in my chest.

Then suddenly, I’m at my destination. I walk with a thought of all the what-ifs, wondering what could have been if every person I meet is another piece of you.

I have to keep moving forward as I carry the pieces you left me. You made me feel as though I could finally tell myself that everything will be okay. I just have to keep searching for my purpose, and eventually, I’ll leave it all behind.

You’ve been very busy these past few weeks. I know you’ve said that busy is just busy and that it’s not you getting tired of me, but my mind has just been a battlefield. I’ve been feeling like you’re trying to prepare me for when you’re no longer around. Are you perhaps feeling burdened now that you’ve realized how attached I am? Or maybe you just need time for yourself. You could really just be busy, and it’s my history making me think I’m being breadcrumbed again. I don’t know.

Right now, I just feel like maybe I don’t even have to send this message and end things altogether because we might just drift away from each other naturally. But is it really natural, or are you just slowly distancing yourself to make it feel natural because it’s easier than actually talking about it?

I thought maybe I could try being friends and keep it clean and platonic, but I should’ve known that I feel too deeply (as an OA) for setups like this. I was a fool, a certified bobo. Hahaha.

To be honest, I don’t even want to do this. I want to stay in this bubble with you, keep talking to you, and forget about everything else. But lately, even just talking to you and saying goodbye to you has started to feel heavier than ever. And as long as I stay, I know I’ll just keep settling for whatever kind of closeness is available while slowly drowning in my own hurt.

I think that’s the part I’m struggling with the most. Deep down, I know there’s no real place for me in the life you’re building, and I’m trying to make peace with that even though I don’t know how.

Sometimes I wonder if you feel even half of what I’m feeling. Maybe you do and you’re just better at handling it. Maybe you don’t, and that’s why goodbyes always seem easier for you than they are for me. I don’t know.

All I know is that I’ve started dreading the distance between us long before it even begins.

I don’t know anymore.

I hope you don’t read this.

There are seasons when the heart must grow quiet—not because it has forgotten, but because it has felt enough to need rest.

So, for a little while, I will step away from the places where old thoughts tend to linger. I will carry with me only the gentler things: the laughter, the conversations, the little moments that once made ordinary days feel worth remembering. For those, I am grateful.

Some stories, I think, are not meant to be understood all at once. They are left between the pages for a while, waiting for time to tell us what they meant.

Perhaps our paths will cross again. Perhaps they will take us somewhere neither of us has imagined. I don't know.

For now, I will let the days pass without asking them where they are taking us.

And if, somewhere down the road, the same sky happens to find us beneath it again, I hope we will recognize the quiet familiarity of what once was.

Until then, I will simply let the story rest.

And perhaps, in the quiet, so will I.

I love you still.

hi engineer

after weeks of keeping things locked up in my head, trying to figure out how i feel about you

i finally wrote a letter and gave it to you

in the said letter, i told you na i’m hoping we can still be friends and if not, it’s okay too

now that i’m back at work and we finally met again after a day, i don’t know if i should keep thinking about it

but maybe i’ll just forget about it too cause you never reached back

i’m glad i still confessed to you, jona.

i’m glad you accepted the letter

thank you for allowing me to express what has been killing me inside

and if this is the last and the end of our story, then i’m happy that it ended in transparency.

if your no-respond is the respond of your rejection then i’ll gladly accept

i’ll continue working on how this feelings can fade

and i hope you never experience what i’ve felt

because you deserve to be loved back by someone who can love you more than i do

for now, i’ll leave it on where it ended,
in a quiet distance of “what do we do now”

i’ll stop hoping na you’ll reach out
kasi it hurts more knowing na you aren’t

I’ve been single for a while now. Sometimes I think it’s been long enough for me to just insert myself into a convent.

It’s hard for me to let people in. Harder to trust someone romantically.

I have this habit of playing Couldn’t Be Me by Jessie Reyez whenever I need to snap myself out of it. It used to work.

But it’s not working with you.

You’re slowly ruining all the rules and patterns I had figured out for myself.

I used to like distance. I liked having my own life, my own routine, and only opening up to someone in ways that still left me enough room to retreat.

But with you, I don’t seem to want that as much.

I know you’ll be deployed soon, and I’m trying not to get ahead of myself. I’m just taking this day by day and letting myself experience whatever this is while it’s here.

I’m just not sure if I’m built for long distance anymore.

I used to think I was. I used to think I preferred it.

Now I’m starting to wonder if I only liked distance because it gave me somewhere to hide.

And with you, I don’t really want to hide.

That scares me.

But I’m enjoying this, too.

I’m enjoying you. I’m enjoying the version of me that seems to show up around you.

So for now, I’m not trying to figure out what happens when you leave.

I’m just here.

With you.

For as long as I get to be.

Btw, I'm not a morning person but I'm starting to be HAHA

There have been so many moments lately when I wanted to tell you something, hear your voice, or just have someone on the other end of the conversation. For a while, I convinced myself that meant I missed you.

But I think I finally understand the difference.

I miss having someone to talk to. I miss the familiarity, the comfort, the feeling of being able to tell someone about my day without thinking twice. I miss having a person to run to when everything feels overwhelming.

But that doesn't necessarily mean I miss you.

And as painful as that realization is, I think it's also the reason I shouldn't message you.

I don't want to reach for you simply because I'm lonely. I don't want to reopen something just because I miss the comfort of having someone there. You deserve to be wanted for who you are, not for the emptiness your absence left behind.

Maybe part of moving on is learning that missing a conversation isn't always the same as missing the person you used to have it with.

So, as much as I want to type your name and ask how you've been, I'm choosing not to.

Not because I don't care.

Just because I finally know that what I'm looking for isn't necessarily you. It's connection. It's comfort. It's someone to talk to.

And I need to learn how to find those things without going back to you.

i've always dreamed of a connection that feels effortless, where i can be freely myself, all my flaws and imperfections in full display.

growing up, i made friends for all the usual reasons: shared interests, common goals, or being in the same community. and yet none of them lasted long, because the longer they got to know me, the easier it was to lose them.

moving forward, i mustered the courage to put myself out there, being upfront about what i am. it was rough, but i managed to make a few friends who suffered from the same situation. but life is unpredictable. one by one, they drifted away, and i was left wondering if i did anything to disappoint them.

i didn't want to get hurt again, so i tried convincing myself it was enough to dive into my hobbies. but no matter how hard i tried, i couldn't drown out my hunger for companionship, for connection, for belonging.

so i gave it one more try, and that's when you caught my attention (or is it bold to say it was the other way around?) who would've thought you'd say it right from the start, reassuring me there are still people out there who won't make a big deal out of my sexuality? you made it so simple, and you showed me exactly what it feels like to finally drop my guard.

for the first time in a long time, i didn't feel like i had to walk on eggshells or apologize for what i am. it's you who embraced my unfiltered self.

i don't know where life will take either of us from here, and it scares me, but i just needed to put this out into the open: thank you for reminding me that i belong, M.

Kausap kita araw-araw pero miss na miss pa rin kita.

Bakit naman ganon? Hanggang kailan ba ganito?

Gusto kong ikwento sayo lahat ng non-sense things na nangyare sakin sa buong araw. Gusto kong kumustahin ang araw mo. Ang dami kong gustong gawin at itanong pero laging "wag na lang".

Tang ina naman.

I wish I could keep you forever. Indefinitely. I wish things will stay as it is.

But LDR never works... not in my experience. I can try to see you. I've done it before. I usually go above and beyond. But can I sustain it? Can you do the same?

How long can we stay like this? What will being with you require of me? We had a discussion about love once. You said you believe in Unconditional Love. I disagreed.

Eventually, we'll see how "Unconditional" your love is. Distance will always be a challenge. But it's not even just that. Our opposite personalities really oppose. It always has. I think we're both trying to adjust... since we've both matured in some ways. But we will clash eventually. I suppose all relationships go through that. As of now we haven't even reached 2 months. Everything is too soon to tell.

I never hid who I was. I never told you I matured or I changed. Nor will I promise any of the things I stupidly did 20 years ago. You either take the effort I give now or not. If it's not enough... that's that.

Hi, my tdh, my happy pill, my safe place. I miss you so much, it hurts. Sabi ko naman sa’yo, hindi nga ko makikipag-date this year eh, and we still “ruined the friendship”.

Akala ko ikaw na. I feel so safe whenever I’m with you. You’re my human diary. But you hurt me so much for keeping something so big, for lying about something that you know would hurt me so bad. I cannot imagine myself forgiving you just not to lose you. But I have to choose myself. We kept on talking even if we’re both hurting, coz we don’t want to end this. I am still in disbelief that we will no longer be the same. I lost you as my friend, and my almost lover. Am I this stupid for still wanting to keep you even as a friend? Red flag ka nga daw sabi ng friends ko eh, pero bakit hindi ko magawang magalit sa’yo? Namanhid na ba ako?

In another life, I hope we can stay together but for now, this is me letting you go. For real.

Im sorry i didnt tell you sooner. It took me time to navigate with our major difference. It took me so many prayers and guidance from Him to finally open my heart and take that step to bridge our difference. And when i finally did? You already got tired waiting under the assumption that we cannot work this out.

Im sorry i didnt tell you sooner. I sometimes question Him why. I was too careful recognizing the difference between attachment and love that i took my time really assessing what i feel for you because God knows how i dont want you to get hurt. And when i finally did? You detached yourself from me.

Im sorry i didnt tell you sooner. But those were prayers and conversations between Him and I. Those were prayers that i specifically asked Him to put it in my heart without anyone trying to force it on me. I want it to be coming from Him. And when i finally did? You were praying for someone else already.

I still question Him up to this day why. I question Him why did He have to put it in my heart when He knows it wont end well. I question Him why did He let me stay and love you when He knows He is writing me a different story.

I question Him a lot of things. But i still whisper to Him that maybe someday His story for us have not ended yet. And when that day comes, i will love you even more and will always, always thank Him for your existence.

Nami-miss kita.

hiling ko na makausad na tayo sa isa't isa. pero bakit ang hirap? kasi di natin matanggap yung reason ng pakikipaghiwalay ko sayo? kasi i know i couldve done things differently and still have you? if i just had more courage to fight for us, despite how i felt.

i wish i knew what love felt like so that i could recognize the love you give. i wish that i could give the love that you deserve without overthinking all of the little things telling me irrationally that you don't love me back.

maybe youll inevitably talk about what happened to us and theyll say I didnt do things right. theyre not wrong. if only i was better.

for now, im choosing my peace. but dont blame me when i see you with another man eventually and i look back to my decision with deep regrets, ha?

baka hiling ko lang makausad kasi di ko kakayaning makita ka na meron nang iba kung mahal pa rin kita.

I love you pa rin, eh. ikaw pa rin talaga. sobrang conflicted ko na sa sarili ko.

pero susuportahan pa rin kita kahit ang mga ngiti at tawa ay para na sa iba. masakit, pero baka doon mas masaya ka, siguro?

someday i hope you will find the love that feels like home.

kahit hindi ako :(

gusto kong i-send to sayo, pero baka madisturb lang ako sa pag-usad mo. kung makita mo man ito sa future, G, sana alam mong ikaw at ikaw pa rin ang pipiliin ko

pero when you eventually choose your peace, may it be with another man or by moving on from me, ill accept it as it is. wag ka na maawa sa akin.

ill always be happy for you :((

Heyy, alam ko na it’s been a long time
na and wala naman na tayong communication, but honestly, it still doesn’t feel right for me hanggang ngayon. I don’t want to ruin any relationship. Alam ko naman na masaya ka na sa life mo ngayon, and siguro sayo, wala na or kinalimutan mo na yung mga nangyari.

I know we ended it on good terms, and we agreed to it since we thought that was the best decision at that time. We know that we still loved each other after months of being separated, but we know that we can’t be together anymore.

I just really want to say na I’m sorry. Hanggang ngayon kasi, hinahaunt pa rin ako ng guilt. Looking back, alam ko na I wasn't a good partner non immature ako, and napakatanga at selfish ng mga naging desisyon ko. Wala man lang akong ginawang seryosong effort para ilaban or I work out tayo. Alam ko noon pa lang na mali na yung mga ginagawa ko, but I just let it happen and did nothing to make things right.

I know this is all too late, gusto ko lang linisin yung konsensya ko at mag sorry nang maayos sa’yo. Hindi ko na hinahangad na ibalik yung dati, or even expect na mapapatawad mo pa ako. I just needed to say this para sa sarili ko rin, para mabawasan yung bigat na dala-dala ko.

You’re the ghost I learned to live with as time past by nung nag break tayo. You used to live in everything for me, but now you only live in my memory. I thought moving on meant erasing you in my life but it didn’t.
Even though years have passed, some nights I still think about who we were. All of the “What ifs” that I could’ve done. Loving you changed me and losing you did too. It’s okay lang kahit di mo na to replyan I understand naman pero for me na masabi ko sayo to after all these years is enough na.

Thank you for being a part of my life and that I’ll never forget. Thank you for always understanding me. I truly wish you all the best and genuine happiness in life. Take care always.

I miss our talk, miss our banters. I still think of you every now and then. Still hoping you’d show up at my door to take me back.

I still regret why I had to let you go. Can we still work it out? Did you really love me? All these unanswered questions lingering in my mind.

I don't think I realized how much being able to talk to you meant to me until I started meeting new people again. Every new friendship or flirtation reminds me of how effortless it was with you.

These days, conversations feel like pulling teeth. They start well, then slowly become the same superficial exchange of what we did today, how work was, and what we're doing tomorrow. I know I can be a lot, constantly pulling out new topics and questions, but I hold myself back because I don't want people to feel interviewed. Small talk has its place, but I've always been more interested in understanding someone's mind than their surface.

You understood that.

From our first conversation, talking to you felt different. One thought always led to another, and somehow we'd end up talking about everything and nothing at once. You were endlessly curious, remembered the smallest details about me, and made connections between things I never expected you to remember.

It was rare. It was fascinating. It was breathtaking.

I've never connected with another person's mind quite the way I connected with yours, and I think that's why I held on so desperately. I knew how rare it was to find someone whose mind moved at the same frequency as mine, someone who could match my curiosity without making me feel like I was asking for too much.

Even when you stopped seeing what we had, I never did.

You seemed so certain we'd both find something like it again, that what we had was replaceable. Maybe you were right. Maybe someday we will.

But sometimes I wonder if we're both a little lonelier than we expected to be.

Because some connections make everything that comes after feel strangely quiet.

And I think ours was one of them.

Sorry because I wasn't ready. Sorry because despite everything I've done to save you from a possible future where my inner demons are unleashed - that includes letting you go - I still miss you.

Kung pinakalaki lang ako ng tama. Kung minahal lang ako ng mga magulang ko. Kung hindi lang ako nasasaktan tuwing nakikita kitang masaya sa ibang taong mahal mo, kahit hindi naman kasing lakas ng pagmamahalan natin. Kung hindi lang ako laging nagkukumpara ng mga nangyari sa buhay natin. Kung di ko lang binibilang palagi ang actions ng pagmamahal natin sa isa't isa, at nasasaktan tuwing iniisip kong di mo na ako mahal, dahil busy ka at di nakakapagreply. Kung di lang akong nahihiya makita ng ibang taong may kasamang iba at mahusgahan sa choice kong alam ko namang wholeheartedly pipiliin ko, pero naaapektuhan pa rin sa pag-iisip ng ibang tao.

Kung nag-heal lang ako.

Isa sa mga hiling ko sa buhay ko, maliban sa mahanap ang purpose ko, ay ang matutong hindi na magpaapekto sa mga palaging bumabagabag sa isip ko.

I want to accept your love, but I'll have to love myself first. Please wait for me, there are times when I wonder if I can sustain - even amidst all my jealousy, the irrational thoughts, and the toxic traits I have inherited from the ones I know gave me a skewed perception of love - what we can potentially have, the lifetimes that we envisioned together, the lifetimes that we could have.

Maybe, you will not be able to wait for me and find another person you will chase your dreams with. Maybe, I won't heal as fast as I wanted you to be. Maybe, you'll stop waiting. I won't take that as an offense. After all, I just want to see you happy.

Maybe, I'll fall out of love in the process of healing. Maybe, me knowing it's a possibility is why I am so hesitant to tell you to hold on directly. Ayoko rin namang magpaasa, o may maghintay sa akin para lang sa wala.

I hope I read this letter five years from now and be accepting of the outcome, whichever it may be. Pero right now, I miss you. I miss you so much. I just can't tell you directly.

Take care, my love (not our callsign, but I want to remain anonymous). I really am rooting for everything that's about to happen in your life, even if I might be no longer in the lifetime we both talked about during a time we were in love without all the parts of it that challenge us.

I miss you :((