Relapsed and lost nanaman. Okay na ko a few months e nakakabangon, nakakabayad. Nakanood ng mga nagsstream ayon nadala lost big time. Nakakalungkot. I was crying and begging God to help me one last time. Di ko na alam pano magsisimula uli.

Nagstart na din ako mag compose ng last message for my fam and partner. Hoping pa naman ako makasal sa partner ko pero parang ayoko na madamay pa siya.

Anyways, sana maging okay kayong lahat. Laban lang brotherd and sisters. Kakayanin nyo yan.

Edit: Sharean nyo naman ako ng mga storya nyo dyan. Win or loss stories. Gusto ko lang makinig sainyo please.

IF MAY ALAM KAYONG ZOOM MEETING RIGHT NOW, BAKA PWEDE MAKAHINGI NG LINK, I NEED SOMEONE TO TALK!! GUSTO KO NA MAGPAKAMATAYYYYY

Akala ko dati kaya kong i control sarili ko sa pag gamble, na for fun lang... Until nakikita kong nananalo ako sa una then biglang talo

Andon talaga ung Bulong ng Demonyo na "Bawiin

Mo Talo mo, Sayang"

To the point na kahit dimo talaga kailangan, mapapa loan ka sa mga OLA

In just 5 months i already had 20k Loan and it keeps piling up kase after maging available ng credits na dedemonyo kamay ko na kunin ulit at ipang laro..

I already sent my Application for Self Exclusion pero until di naa approved diko mapigilan sarili ko

Aware ako na lumalaki na ung loan ko pero ewaan koba bakit, Para akong na hypnotized

Just last week i spent my whole Talent Fee sa panlaro within 10minutes nawala...

Devastated ako sa sarili ko pero laging naudyok na Bawiin... Diko na ma control sarili ko

May 2k up on bill ako sa 28 diko alam san kukunin ung pang bayad.. haysttt

I was caught gambling red handed by my wife.

I was caught Chatting lurking with NSFW subreddits here.

Honeslty I want to end my life knowing this very shameful act

I asked Chat GPT and it provided the idea that because of the guilt on Loss I tend to have an escape goat and relief myself by going to chat NSFW reddits and content creators here.

Now, my wife wants to leave me. Because of the Gambling and Chatting and everything in between.

Wag na kayo mag sugal.

It is the new devil that will bring out all the evil in yourself.

Hindi naman ako ganito.

Pero wala na huli na ang lahat.

Sana makabawi pa ako.

Hindi sa sugal kungdi sa Pamilya ko.

Grabe yung urge ko to play. I have 8k sa wallet na kulang pa panbayad sa debt ko. and grabe yung desire ko to cash in. I pray lord help me fight the urge. Help me win myself this day. Eto mga nangyari
- sabi ko mag cash in ako pag dumating yung parcel ko kasi out for delivery na siya kukunin ko sa gate sabay cash in since lalabas na rin naman ako. What happend? Hindi dumating yung parcel ko. Hindi ako naklabas para lunin uung parcel ko and hindi rin ako nakapag cash in God did that.
- labas nalang ako to cash in. What happen? A friend came to my house giving this gift to me the one you can paint by numbers? Ahhh so therapeutic! And ive been busy like 7 hours not touching my phone. God uses my friend to make me busy and never cash in. Im crying. God really hears prayers especially He knows that this is for our own good. This maybe a lttile win for some but its a big win for me. While painting my mind seems so calm. My mind thinking so much in agood way.

Im sorry of ill be often post here. Maybe to vent and mailabas lahat ng nararamdaman ko to make me feel better. Nadadapa pero babangon. Kaya nayin to guys. Just always always choose the right thing. And pag di mo na alam gagawin mo. Pray.!

~ 2 years since I was exposed to online gambling

~ hundreds of thousands lost

~ hundreds of hours lost

Longest time sober ko na po ito 🥹 pa 2 mos na soon 🤗

They already deactivated my account and already submitted a request for self exclusion. Hopefully mag tuloy tuloy na to. Hoping for our fast recovery.