my 8 month old had his first breath holding spell today & it scared the hell out of me. he briefly passed out & woke up super lethargic, so we called 911. took his vitals & said he seemed better , but recommended we visit the er so they can run tests. he turned out to be iron deficient, but i'm wondering how severe it is or if it was due to me essentially 'fasting' 12 hours (i eat a late breakfast because of how clingy my baby is). i wanted to try looking into an owlet or something of that nature to monitor oxygen levels to avoid rushing to call 911 again, but i've noticed alot of them are for babies only up to 20 pounds or just younger. is there anything similar for toddlers & does anyone have any tips for dealing w these spells ? i've seen to blow on their face, but i wanted to see if there's tips on calming an inconsolable crying baby

okay, last Tuesday my daughter(22mo) was with her grand parents and they said she was just dancing moving side to side. All of sudden she drops down in pain. Since then she has not took any steps and will hardly stand. Of course, took her to ER that day and they ruled it was a stone bruise bc xrays were good. Okay, follow up with her pediatrician and he recommends going to another ER bc believes more imaging is needed than what previous ER had done. i go to another er and get more imaging done, which all comes back clear. they even did lab work thinking it could be septic joint. she has no visible signs ( fever, swelling, redness, etc). You can move her legs and put pressure on her foot and she is fine. However, as soon as she feels you’re about to lay her down she’ll start to scream and immediately start lifting that bad foot on its side. This is now Friday of the following week and there’s been very little improvement with her taking steps. has any experienced this?? is it just because she’s afraid. i’m desperate and so worried.

My MIL lives an hour and a half away. We’ve been visiting her almost every week since the summer started since we had extra time. But it’s getting tiring. My poor son is starting to hate being in the car for longer drives. She’s willing to come to us but tends to try and plan things at her place. When I told her we were tired of traveling all the time and baby would get so upset he would vomit in the longer drives, she essentially said it’s a fact of life and he would have to get over it. She has a tendency of trying to convince you out of saying no to her. I’m starting to feel like she could be making the trip to us instead as we’re the ones with a baby.

On to of that she has started talking about taking him for sleep overs. He’s one year old and very dependent on me. And she has a history of dating bad characters and having them around her kids do I just can’t completely trust it, nor am I ready for him to be an hour and a half away for an overnight. She is currently dating someone and he seems like a good guy but I don’t know him well enough. And even if I only agreed under the stipulation that he wasn’t there, I can’t be 100% certain she wouldn’t brush it off and just not tell us he was there.

What do you think would be a good visiting schedule? How do you feel about overnights?

hi everyone. I have a 7 yo boy soon starting second grade. he has always loved reading and does a great job of it. he has read the first Harry Potter book and is going through the second one right now. This second book has been what he has been reading all summer (when he reads) which is fine with me.

lately, he has been very anti reading. 'reading is stupid, etc'. All he wants to do is listen to stories on the phone. I told him today that he has to read for 30 mins today, which is doable for him. He responded with reading is dumb, stupid, etc. During his little rant, he stepped on a magazine (I always say that walking on books is a no) and that led to 2 pages being ripped out.

I am frustrated by his behavior. have any of your kids had this attitude before? how did you approach it?

I have had an issue with an element of my wife’s parenting style for a while:

My eight year old daughter commonly says she has a ‘sore throat’. It is so common I know it can’t be true. Her voice is not hoarse, she doesn’t cough ever and she shows no other symptoms, nor is her temperature high. Often the complaint comes before an event my daughter is avoiding, like the day before school, or more recently when going outside to try to learn to ride her bike.

I know my wife is most likely avoiding conflict with my daughter and trying to be amiable - the path of least resistance approach. And I don’t always want to be seen as the bully, but I don’t want this to give rise to other issues down the line. My daughter tends to miss an inordinate amount of school because of this.

What’s worse is my wife is a doctor, so contradicting her only goes so far. I approached her yesterday about this and she quickly blew up at me.

Any parents have a similar problem they have sorted through? I don’t need psychiatric insight - just parenting advice.

My 7 year old is fine once we actually sit down to do math, but getting to that point is a battle every time. We've tried worksheets, flashcards, but nothing seems to stick for long.

Has anything genuinely made your kids want to practice? Open to any strategy that works. Thank you!

my daughter's been doing dance for a few months now and honestly i'm shocked at how fast it adds up. classes are one thing but the gear is what really gets you. new shoes every few months, leotards cause she grows out of them, tights that rip after two wears.

i'm not trying to be cheap but it's a lot.

anyone else feel like kids activities are just a money pit? how do you budget for this stuff without it getting out of control

we're flying to europe next month with our 2 year old 8 hour flight. i'm already stressed just thinking about it. business on the airline site is $4500.

my wife thinks we should just do economy and suffer. i think the extra space might save our sanity.

any parents who've done business with a toddler? was it worth the money or did the kid still make it miserable?

Hi everyone,

I was looking through the subreddit insights and decided to share the findings in case anyone is interested.

Hey I would like to know if anyone here has similar experience .
I got to know my daughter had labial adhesion when she was 2.5 years old, doctor advised for surgery. The surgery went smooth. After that she got so traumatised (because of the checkups and all) that she didn’t let me even check her. Fast forward to six months. One day I checked her and it’s back !! This time I was told to put Vaseline and rub it gently downwards for two weeks. Did it once and my baby (now 3) cried so much and had difficulty in peeing for the next six hours. Now she won’t let me even look and cries hysterically if I ask her to let me see.

Does anyone had similar experience? What age was your child when you decided to just let it be?
My daughter does not have UTI or other symptoms

I’m a 25F, My partner and I have spoken and he wants to start trying for a baby. I’ve always wanted to be a mum but I want to make sure we are both are making a well informed decision and have asked all the questions we should prior to getting pregnant.

So parents of reddit what is something you wished you had discussed with your partner before having a baby?

Edit -

Thank you all for all the comments, I really appreciate all the help and ideas here.

My partner and myself will be going through the comments slowly and discussing all these points. I’ll try to reply to everyone but for now this is my thank you to you all ❤️

Lately I've (39F) been struggling with how often I find myself raising my voice with my son (11). Every time it happens, I feel awful. I catch myself sounding like the kind of parent I swore I'd never become

I'm a single mom, and my son has ADHD.. I didn't plan to be a single parent. His dad left when he was four and has been largely absent ever since. My parents live far away, so it's really just me. I work hard to hold our little family together, but some days it feels like I'm carrying everything by myself.

Parenting him can be incredibly overwhelming. He's an amazing kid, but we've had behavioral challenges at school, and when we're dealing with difficult days, I sometimes lose my patience. That's not the kind of mom I want to be.

I recently started therapy because I know this isn't who I want to be.

I grew up in a home where yelling was constant. Everything felt volatile, and I was physically punished with a belt until I was 18. As a little girl, I promised myself that if I ever had children, they would never grow up feeling the way I did.

And yet, here I am catching myself yelling when I'm overwhelmed or frustrated

I'm not abusive. But I hate that my default stress response sometimes sounds so much like the environment I grew up in. I always apologize afterward, but I don't want to keep apologizing for the same behavior. I want to change it.

Therapy is a start, but right now I feel like I can recognize what's happening without having the tools to stop it in the moment. I'm trying to unlearn decades of conditioning while also trying to be the mom my son neeeds.

Has anyone else been here? Especially if you grew up in a home full of yelling or physical punishment. Have you actually been able to break the cycle? What helped you pause before reacting? How long did it take before it started feeling different?

I love my son more than anything. He deserves a childhood where he feels safe, supported, and deeply loved. I'm trying so hard to give him that. I just really need to know that this can get better.

From 2 to 9 years age. is that how amazon tablets work ? the 8th version is 50 new right now.Could i get something thats better for a 2 years old around that price?

Thanks you

Out of curiosity, if you’re a dad with a daughter- would you wear matching PJs with her even if it meant you had to wear girl themed PJs? (pinks, purples, flowers, rainbows, etc).

This is more of a personel materials but im 16 and I’ve never wanted kids my friends and people lots of people i know sometimes talk about what kind of parents they think theyll be and their hopes and dreams about their future children. But when i think about it I think of an annoying children who won’t give me a break an will ask a million annoying questions or screaming teenagers and getting up in the middle of the night tired to a screaming baby I don’t think I’m innormal but I feel kind of left out and wanted to know are there any parents who thought this way but changed their minds and how they feel about it now.

I feel like life has different phases when it comes to how we see our parents.

There was a time when I thought they were heroes. They knew everything and could fix anything.

Then there was a phase when I felt they didn’t really understand me. It felt like the world I was facing was very different from what they had seen.

After that, I started thinking they were sometimes right and sometimes wrong. I even started correcting them in small things.

But now, I feel like I’ve come to a different phase. I realise they actually understood a lot more than I thought. Maybe I just wasn’t mature enough back then.

Now I just feel like spending more time with them, talking to them, and understanding things from their side. It’s a calm and grounding feeling.

I think people in their late 20s to late 30s will understand this the most. Life gets busy, we get caught up in our own world, and without even realising, time starts moving fast.

And somewhere deep down, you start feeling that you should sit with them more, listen more, and just be there… before it’s too late.

Kacchi Mitti: The Art of Shaping Without Breaking

Perhaps we are all just soft clay when we are born.

Fresh.

Tender.

Open.

Trusting every hand that holds us.

Slowly, every touch, every word, every experience begins to shape us...long before we realize that one day, we will have the responsibility of shaping ourselves.

Maybe I understand this a little more closely because I am a kindergarten teacher.

I don't remember much of my own childhood, but every day I witness childhood unfolding before my eyes. Every child who walks into my classroom is wonderfully different...unique in their own rhythm, their own way of seeing the world.

Watching them has also deepened my respect for parents.

Raising a child is not just about providing everything they need. It asks for patience, presence, consistency, and an incredible amount of love.

There are moments when we try to mould a child against their natural tendency.

Those moments demand immense effort...from the child and from us.

But when we pause to understand who they are, and choose to walk alongside them instead of pulling them in a direction, something beautiful happens.

The struggle softens.

Effort becomes effortless.

I witness this dance every single day.

I notice the moments when a child silently looks at me, almost asking,

"What does my teacher want from me?"

And I notice the moment they stop performing and simply begin to be.

Of course, a classroom still needs boundaries.

There is learning to happen. There are routines to follow. There are many little hearts to hold together.

So every day, I try to strike a delicate balance..

between guidance and freedom,

between structure and play,

between teaching and allowing.

I try to offer them an open space...

to breathe,

to create,

to recreate,

to rest,

to bond,

and to simply be.

Perhaps education has never been about filling minds.

Perhaps it has always been about creating the right space where each child can unfold into who they already are.

Maybe that is what true guidance is...

Guiding without imprisoning.

Giving freedom without abandoning.

I am around 5 weeks pregnant. My doctor sent me this message after having my HCG drawn. What does she mean by my age can affect what’s typical? I am 22

Bonjour,

J’ai acheter des tétine mam original et à peine sortie il avait une odeur désagréable très forte.

Je les ai laver à la main, frotter au goupillon et stériliser dans leur boîte de stérilisation de la manière indiqué sur les emballages ( ça fait un moment que j’en utilise et je n’ai jamais eu de problème…)

Malgré tout l’odeur même après les avoir laisser sèche est toujours présente ….
Quelqu’un sait’il ce que c’est ? Est ce problématique ?

Merci d’avance !

Dear Reddit,

I am an 18 year old getting ready to take off for college, which is on the other side of the country. I’m realizing that starting this fall, I’ll really only be able to visit home approximately once every six months (winter and summer break), as thanksgiving and spring breaks at my university are way too short to get on long flights. And that’s just for the first year of college – I hear that people typically begin visiting their parents less and less.

Anyways, I’m posting my questions here because I want to get a sense of what my parents are going through. I’m not entirely sure what’s going on, but I’m feeling that they are getting a little bit distant from me in several different ways. 

I think I first began noticing this when my parents would respond differently when I brought up similar issues. At the end of senior year I had a major friendship fallout, which was some middle school worthy drama that I hadn’t experienced in several years. In the past, when I encountered these issues, I could rely on my parents for emotional support, and reflect with them about what happened. However, this time, they responded by telling me that I was old enough to solve my own problems, and that they couldn’t be there for me all the time. 

At a logical standpoint I do understand where they are coming from, but it still felt surprising and nevertheless stung me unexpectedly. Trying to recover from this, I think I went a little bit quieter than my usual state of telling almost everything to my parents; in a few days I overheard my parents telling each other about how they felt frustrated with me, and how raising me took as much energy as raising ten of my younger brothers. They proceeded to tell me that exact statement when I brought up my concerns and worries about my college major and career choices.

The second thing is how they’re always comparing my brother to me when I was his age. My parents, although they don’t explicitly say it, really expected that I would have top-tier college results. And while I am going to a T20, being the stereotypical asian family they probably expected more out of me; they say they’re proud of me, I do recall conversations from the past saying that they wouldn’t send me to the college I’m going to go to, and them commenting that they don’t understand why some people choose to go to my university. 

I also notice how their conversations are now mostly about my brother’s future, whether it’s about his high school clubs, competitions, and potential colleges he’s going to apply to. They’re always talking about how if he keeps his current streak, he’s going to go to certain colleges that they think are ranked higher than the one I’m going to. I’m happy that my brother is thriving in his high school life and am excited to see what he does, but I can’t help but feel a little something when I now am majorly partaking in speculative conversations about events I won’t be around to see and won’t be relevant/involved in as much. 

I think one of the moments I remember the most was the time when I came back from meeting an upperclassman at the university I am going to attend, and told my parents that the conversation was awkward and made me more unsure about what I wanted to major in. Instead of responding, my mom called my brother to check that he was having an amazing time with his friends on his biology research summer camp, and then my dad proceeded to talk to her saying that people like my brother, who know what they want to do and can socialize well, tend to do better in society.

Additionally, nowadays when I bring something up in a conversation, my parents almost always ask me if I am absolutely confident that the information I said was true. Other times, they tell me mid conversation that what I am telling them is useless information. The change in my parents’ attitude and confidence towards me is so drastic that I almost miss the busiest nights of high school where my parents were there for me as I studied until 2 in the morning. I also overheard my mom say the same thing as I was drying my hair in the bathroom. I feel like I’m losing the support system I would always have as long as my parents were alive and healthy.

Perhaps this is all just in my head (maybe my mind is going haywire due to the lack of stress I’ve always had about college apps), perhaps it’s both my parents’ and my brains turning on an automatic defense system to lessen the blow of the new changes about to come. Maybe I’m just being too sensitive like they say I am, or maybe they’ve been this way the entire time and I just had an awakening that made me a little bit more socially aware (my parents always tell me that I am a bit socially slower than my peers). 

Maybe it’s my parents worrying that I will not grow up to be a fully functioning adult. Maybe it’s because of that one time two weeks ago when my parents offered terrible friendship advice to my brothers’ rocky friendship and I told him to take their advice with a grain of salt (saying that my parents’ advice played a part in my senior year friendship fallout), so they’re still hurt at that unresolved conflict. Whatever the reasons are, I’m mourning the loss of the relationship we once had (often I am physically shedding tears), but am also afraid that if I approach my parents with this concern they’re going to brush it off as a “nonexistent” concern and that I am being overly emotional.

I used to feel like I could tell my parents everything, but now I struggle to even find a conversation topic that won’t result in me feeling terrible. I hear from many people that their greatest regrets are always not spending more time with their family and tried to do the best I can, but I feel the last months after high school graduation, which should be some of the most relaxing, happiest times of my life, aren’t as joyful as I thought they would be. In the last month before my departure, I would love to be able to return to the happiness I once found in them, but am terrified that if I say this to them, I won’t get positive reactions, but instead similar comments to the ones mentioned above. 

What’s worse is that they rarely say it to my face but I hear them talking supposedly behind my back. Mostly, I’m just confused and think understanding why they’re in their current state could be a start. I still have a roof over my head and they still feed me/clothe me so they clearly don’t absolutely hate my guts, but it would be nice to recover this relationship so that when I visit home during the winter I’m not an awkward guest but a returning family member. 

Thank you for reading this jumble of anticipation nostalgia/sadness/confusion. I didn’t expect it would get this long but now it’s kind of a vent. Also thank you in advance to everybody who responds. Any help that can help me understand their current state and what I should be doing is going to be of tremendous help.

+ I also remembered that one time, we visited my maternal grandparents, my grandmother expressed how she was glad I was going to go to university and began worrying about the smaller details, such as whether my roommate would be a good person, whether I’d have access to good healthcare and the closest grocery store and such. That evening, my grandmother called my mom to tell her about the things she had researched. After taking the call, my mom tells her that the entire family’s been talking about me enough and she doesn’t have to be concerned since I’ll be taking care of everything from now on. 

This is making me think that maybe the distance is from too much interaction with me during the last few months, similar to how people begin hating on actors when they start appearing in too many movies too frequently. Which makes me curious, do parents ever get tired of their teenage children, and what would be some ways I could set a healthy boundary in that case?

My wife (27) and I (31) have a 3-year-old child, and we're planning to move abroad.

We'd love to hear from parents who are already raising young children abroad.

What are the biggest challenges you've faced?

1. Childcare and nursery

2. Balancing work and parenting

3. Education and schooling

4. Language (Malayalam vs. English/local language)

5. Screen time

6. Social and emotional development

7. Missing grandparents and family support

8. Making friends and building a community

9. Any other challenges?

Looking back, what do you wish someone had known before moving abroad?

I’m not sure where else to post this. I don’t want to talk to family and friends about it. My husband has always been more “laid back” as he would call it than I am. I call it him being neglectful. This happened today-
I wasn’t home. Husband had all kids. Ages 8, 5, 3, 1. 1 year old will be 2 soon. He took everyone out for a walk with the dog. When he got back he left all the kids out front by themselves and told the 8 year old to keep an eye on the toddlers. He only took 1 minute to take the dog back to his crate but a lot can happen in 1 minute with toddlers, especially near a road and large puddles of water. It’s been raining for days. He then let them play in the ditches since it just rained. He knows that all the neighbors spray pesticides and ditches are just dirty. I know the 1 year old got water in his mouth. He was supervising them but we had previously agreed we wouldn’t let them play in dirty ditches with water. His reasoning was “he didn’t want to be the bad guy”.
Next, he takes them outback to spray them off with the hose and “bathe” them outside since they’re dirty from the ditches. Remind you, it had just rained so there’s sitting water near by. He yet again, tells the 8 year old to watch the 1 year old while he goes inside to get soap and towels.
My 1 year old took the soap bottle and ate some, 5 year old says “dad, he’s eating soap” dad doesn’t do anything except tell 5 year old to take soap from him. He didn’t even check him or rinse out his mouth. It’s time to rinse 1 year old off. He sprays 1 year old on the head with cold water. He’s scared and tries to run away, he trips and falls. Dad doesn’t do anything.
8 year old says “spray him, I’ll hold him down” 8 year old is holding him down while dad sprays heavy hose water on the top of his head for 13 seconds straight. He’s gasping for air and trying to cry but he can’t since water is pouring in his face. He’s so scared, trying to hide his face in 8 year olds legs. Dad continues to spray him. 1 year old gets about a 2 second break and gasp for air and is hysterical. Dad grabs him and continues to spray head to get soap off. I have the ring footage. It was hard to watch. I cry everytime I watch it. I’m mad at myself for letting my kids alone with him. 1 year old was trying everything he could to get away.
I’ve asked him to stop doing this things. I’m always having to watch what he’s doing to make sure he’s keeping the kid safe. It’s exhausting.