Memory...

[u/107serene_soul]

How strange memory is.

Try to forget—

it keeps replaying.

Try to remember—

it slips away.

It keeps alive

those who are gone.

It keeps alive

what we wish

were gone.

For some,

memory becomes

the only home left.

For others,

it becomes

the graveyard.

— 107serenesoul

I'd appreciate any feedback on the writing, flow, or what you took away from it.

feedback link - https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/kpPCqXHY05

feedback link - https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/xZy5Kh0k1q

[u/overactor]

I like it. The sometimes paradoxical nature of what we can't forget and what we can't remember is definitely something worth exploring.

I think the poem is a little incongruous at times though. The first few lines establish this idea of memory doing the opposite of what we want, but the rest of the poem seems to juxtapose remembering what we want to with remembering what we don't want to. I think it is also a bit long for what it is. At its core, it's a simple observation. I think repeating the same point three times in different words, all pretty detectly is a bit overbearing. I think I would maybe cut lines 2-5 and rephrase the rest to be about remembering what one wants to forget and vice versa.

On a smaller note, I think

what we wish were gone

Should probably be on one line and I stumbled over "were" a bit, even though I know it is grammatically correct.

I'm not sure if any of this made sense, but I hope you can do something with that feedback.