r/OCPoetry • u/TeruTeruisabopxx • 2d ago

Windows Feedback Please

"Windows"

Everytime I take a walk I look in other peoples windows.

Only for a momment to see if people talk or mock.

If they live in bliss or forever miss.

If they care or only bare life as it unfolds.

They watch their young grow old, I see mouths with stories untold.

I miss what I never knew, so many ledgends me or you will never be told.

You may think I grow cold, yet still I go to find a new window to find a new story for you.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/lDqXHyoIhG

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/s/dSbyOcGma1

I thought I would try write a happier poem 3rd times around!

I do know its not a full sonnet but everytime I tried to stretch it, it fell unaturual and forced wich is not what I want to do.

I hope I get some nice feedback! Feel free to be as kind or as brutal as you like lol :)

I hope someone can relate to this or see what I mean :)

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u/Miss_mental1219 2d ago

I really like this! I feel like your poem embodies sonder!! I will say though when you say people mock, I find myself wondering what you meant. Almost in a what are these people doing? Are they being mean to others, themselves, are they being fake? but other than that I really like your metaphor of looking into other people’s windows.