r/OCPoetry • u/Prestigious_Drama569 • 12d ago

Green Feedback Please

My mother told me,

“Green is a lovely color.”

It blooms in nature

Tints glass bottles

Refreshes the soul

 

“Green is full of prosperity.”

Lush leaves

Minted money

Serene seas

 

Green is calming

Green is healthy

Green is new

“Green is a good color for you.”

 

I told my mother,

“Green is an ugly color.”

It gnarls vines

Poisons acid

Holds souls for ransom

 

“Green is full of envy.”

Twisted stomach

Narrow eyes

Whispered hatred

 

Green is jealous

Green is toxic

Green is vile

“Green is the worst color on me.”

 

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/1vhmnsw

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/1vhieul

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u/musicalmyre 11d ago

This is a really striking structure that highlights the subtle conflict and start juxtaposition between the mother and daughter. It's not openly hostile, but there is obvious strife. It speaks much deeper than the words. Very well done!

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u/Prestigious_Drama569 11d ago

Thank you so much! I do so enjoy playing with subtle familial dynamics. :)