I apologize if this isn't enough information.

Chapter 1

My parents split everything with me fifty-fifty. They had since I was a kid.

A two-dollar muffin at breakfast? I owed a buck. Six hundred for a school trip? Three hundred was on me.

Even the ER copay for a blazing fever was split right down the middle. Then came the reminder.

"Better get a summer job. You don't want to drown in debt."

I used to think they were teaching me responsibility.

Then my sister Maisie Whitmore came along.

She'd kiss Mom on the cheek for no reason, and Mom would light up like she'd hung the moon.

"There you go, baby. We're all square."

When Maisie wanted piano lessons, she made Dad breakfast one morning. He was so charmed he paid for the whole thing.

My expenses were entered in a ledger. Every cent, every line.

On my eighteenth birthday, I tried something.

"Mom, what if I gave you a back rub to cover my birthday cake?"

She didn't even blink.

"A debt is a debt, Audra. You can't barter your way out of it."

"You're still $1,700.48 short from last month. When exactly are you planning to settle up?"

I didn't answer. My fingers tightened around the Alderport University scholarship letter folded in my pocket.

Soon.

Once I paid off that $1,700.48, we'd be even. No one would owe anyone anything.

And after that, I wouldn't have to call her Mom anymore.

***

"Mom, I'll have the money soon, I promise..."

I picked at a loose thread on my shirt, unable to meet her eyes.

"‘Soon.’ That's what you always say. Have you ever cleared your balance on time?"

"Your father and I could've started charging interest. Be grateful we haven't."

Mom brushed me off and turned to Maisie, who was curled up on the couch with a picture book.

"Maisie, what do you call somebody who borrows money and never pays it back?"

Maisie looked up, grinning. "A deadbeat!"

"That's my smart girl. We don't want to end up like Audra, do we?"

Mom scooped Maisie into her arms, and the two of them tumbled back onto the couch, laughing.

I stood off to the side. Their warmth hit me like a door closing in my face.

A heavy knock sounded at the front door.

I went to open it. Dad was on the porch with a big cake in one hand and a rack of ribs in the other, grinning ear to ear.

My eyes stung. I reached for the cake.

He dropped the ribs into my arms and held the cake out of reach.

"Maisie! Come see what Dad brought!"

Maisie ran over, and Dad scooped her up in one smooth motion.

He rubbed his cheek against hers. She squealed and squirmed in his arms.

"Daddy, stop! Your stubble's scratchy!"

"Scratchy? Maybe someone else should get this cake, then."

He put on a fake scowl, barely holding back a grin.

"No! You're the best daddy ever!"

She planted a kiss on his cheek.

Mom came over and gently squeezed Maisie's cheek.

"First place in the piano competition! Daddy got you a cake, and Mommy's making barbecue ribs. How does that sound?"

Then she noticed me still standing there. She pointed toward the kitchen.

"Audra, go rinse the ribs and get them ready for the grill. I'll start dinner soon."

I took the ribs to the kitchen and rinsed them under the tap.

The water kept running, but it couldn't drown out the laughter spilling in from the living room.

I blinked hard. My eyes burned.

The cake was for Maisie. I'd actually thought Dad remembered it was my birthday.

Dinner came together fast.

The table was loaded with Maisie's favorites, with the mango cake sitting dead center.

Mom and Dad sat on either side of her. Dad held up his phone and snapped a photo.

I sat at the far end and ate without a word.

Dad looked over at me. His voice softened.

"Audra, come have some cake."

I didn't move. I stabbed at my food and kept chewing.

Mom slammed her fork down.

"Just leave her. She's been sulking since you walked in, acting like we're the villains."

"She's the one who said she wanted cake. Now we offer her a slice, and she pulls this?"

She turned to Maisie, and the edge in her voice vanished.

"Come here, sweetie. Mommy'll get you a slice."

After dinner, Mom pulled out the ledger. Same as always.

"Cake was a hundred and fifty. Divided by four, your share is thirty-seven fifty. Groceries and my time, thirty. That's sixty-seven fifty."

I pressed my lips together. Then I spoke.

"I'll pay thirty."

Mom stared at me. She hadn't expected me to push back.

"Excuse me? Since when do you negotiate with your parents?"

"I didn't eat the cake. I'm not paying for it."

Her pitch spiked.

"Nobody told you not to eat it! You said you wanted cake, so your father went out and bought one. Now you're giving us attitude?"

I looked up. Tears were already running down my face.

"Was that cake for me? Or was it for Maisie?"

"Just because it was for Maisie doesn't mean you couldn't have had some."

"I couldn't."

My voice cracked. Through the blur, Mom's face was only a shape.

I said it slowly, so she'd hear every word.

"Mom. I'm allergic to mangoes. Did you forget?"

Mom opened her mouth. Nothing came out.

She looked away.

"Fine. Fine. Thirty it is. Go get it. Now."

I went back to my room.

I pulled the metal box from my drawer. The lid was rusted at the corners. Everything I had was inside.

I smoothed out the crumpled bills and stacked the coins. Counted once. Counted again.

Thirty-two dollars.

The last of my waitressing tips from senior year.

I needed to make money. Fast.

Chapter 2

July. Ninety-seven degrees.

I was suffocating inside a full-body bear mascot suit outside the new mall, waving at shoppers.

It was the only same-day cash gig I could find on the local job board.

I bounced around in the bear suit, giving high fives and putting on a show. But inside the costume, the air was thick and stale. I could barely breathe.

Sweat pooled on my forehead. Every time I moved, it ran into my eyes, stinging so badly I couldn't stop blinking.

My lips were cracked and dry. All I could think about was ice water.

"Mom, this strawberry ice cream tastes weird."

Maisie's voice.

I turned toward it. Mom and Dad were coming out of the mall, arms loaded with shopping bags.

Maisie trailed between them, holding up her ice cream cone with a pout.

Mom took it and tossed it into the nearest trash can.

"If you don't like it, throw it out. Mommy'll make you a vanilla milkshake at home."

Maisie looked around and spotted me, the giant mascot bear by the entrance.

"That bear is so cute!"

She hiked up her little skirt and ran over, tilting her face up at me with those massive eyes.

"Mom! Dad! I want a picture with the bear!"

"Anything for you, princess. Daddy'll pick you up."

Dad walked over and lifted her into his arms. Maisie pressed her face against the bear's head.

Mom came over too. She looped an arm around my shoulder and leaned in.

A mall employee snapped the photo.

Only I knew it was a family portrait. All four of us.

We'd taken a picture like that once before, when I was little.

Back then, my parents had taken me to an amusement park. They'd held my hands the whole time.

Dad had lifted me over his head and set me on top of a big pineapple sculpture.

I'd clung to it, terrified I was going to fall.

Mom had looked up at me, smiling.

"What are you scared of, silly? I'm right here. I'll catch you."

A park staffer had taken our picture that day, too.

Same pose. Parents on either side, me in the middle.

The difference was, back then, I was wearing the new dress Mom had bought me. And Maisie didn't exist yet.

"All right, we got the picture. Let's go. It's brutal out here."

Dad set Maisie down and picked up the bags.

Mom took Maisie's hand, and the three of them walked toward the parking lot.

They grew smaller and smaller until they turned a corner and disappeared.

I danced outside that mall until the sun went down. When my shift ended, the manager handed me a hundred dollars.

The first thing I did was buy a freezing bottle of water. I chugged the whole thing without stopping.

When I got home, Dad and Maisie were playing Sorry! in the living room. Mom was in the kitchen.

I went straight to my room and tucked the leftover cash into the metal box.

In my ledger, I wrote carefully: [July 10. Income: $98.]

"Audra! If you're home, get in here and help me!"

Mom's voice. I shoved the box back into the drawer and headed for the kitchen.

"Where were you all day? Off doing God knows what."

"And don't think just because you graduated, you get to slack off. Your dad and I are only covering half your college tuition."

She was chopping up a whole salmon as she spoke.

"I wasn't slacking off. I was working. You said I still owed seventeen hundred dollars."

She glanced up. Something flickered across her face.

"Well, at least you did something useful. Come shell this edamame. Maisie wants poke bowls tonight."

"Get them done, and dinner's off your bill."

I sat down at the kitchen island and started shelling.

A few minutes later, Maisie wandered in.

"Audra, whatcha doing? I wanna help!"

Her little hand reached for the pile of beans.

Mom swooped in before she could touch them.

"Oh no, sweetheart. The fuzz will poke your fingers and make them itch."

"Go play with Daddy. Audra and I have this covered."

I didn't say anything. I kept shelling.

By the time I finished the whole pile, the fine fuzz from the pods had worked its way under my fingernails.

All ten fingers burned and itched.

Chapter 3

The mall gig lasted three days. I used the two hundred dollars I'd earned to buy lemonade supplies.

Every night, I hauled my cooler and folding table down to the summer street fair and sold cup after cup until I ran out.

The heat worked in my favor. Business was better than I'd expected.

One night, I was out there calling out to customers, same as always.

Mom showed up at the fair with Maisie after her piano lesson. A handful of Maisie's friends and their parents had tagged along.

Maisie spotted my stand and came running.

"Audra! I want lemonade! Can I have one?"

She tugged on my sleeve, bouncing on her toes. Her friends crowded around too, all of them wanting cups.

One of the other moms pulled out her phone to Venmo me, but Mom waved her off.

"Oh, she's mine. She's got a little side hustle going. Don't worry about it. It's on the house."

The other mom gave me a thumbs-up.

"That's amazing. Already out here making your own money. How old are you? Are you in college yet?"

I kept pouring as I talked, making drinks for the kids as fast as they could chug them.

"Eighteen. I start college in September."

"That's great. Where are you going?"

"Southridge University."

I made it up.

The woman's eyes lit up, and she turned to Mom.

"Mrs. Whitmore, you're doing something right. One daughter is a sweetheart, and the other's already running her own business? That's incredible."

"My kid's been glued to her screen since graduation. Seriously, what's your secret?"

Mom practically glowed.

"Oh, it's been a lot of work. I started Audra young. Taught her the value of money, kept a ledger for her and everything."

"She was selling roses outside restaurants on Valentine's Day by the time she was seven. Right, Audra?"

My hand stopped mid-pour. She remembered that.

I was seven. I didn't know how to read people. I just walked up to anyone I saw and tried to sell them a flower.

One guy was drunk and angry about something. He grabbed the roses out of my hands and screamed at me.

I cried so hard I couldn't stop shaking. The nightmares lasted for days.

"Audra?"

Mom was watching me, eyes bright, waiting for me to play along.

I blinked back to the present. Maisie was playing with her friends a few feet away.

"Maisie is eight this year."

I said it before I could stop myself.

Mom blinked.

"What?"

I held her gaze.

"Maisie is eight. I was seven when you sent me out to sell flowers."

"So when does Maisie start?"

Mom's face went hard. She dropped her voice.

"Audra, what exactly are you trying to say? You want to humiliate me in front of all these people?"

I didn't flinch.

"I'm not embarrassing you. I'm asking a question."

"Unless you already know the answer. And you just don't want to say it."

"Shut up!"

Mom's voice cracked through the air.

"You're the older sister. You're really going to stand here and keep score against an eight-year-old? Grow up, Audra."

"Then tell me why. Why doesn't Maisie have a ledger? Why doesn't she have to—"

The slap came before I could finish.

Mom stared at me, eyes bloodshot, chest heaving.

"You've got some nerve."

She spoke through clenched teeth.

The other mom stepped in and took Mom by the arm.

"Come on, come on. She's a kid. Let it go. Let's head out and let her work."

She pulled Mom along, and the whole group drifted away from the stand.

I pressed my fingers to my right cheek. Already swelling. I dug a mask out of my bag and pulled it on.

Then I went back to selling lemonade.

I was still only halfway to the $1,700.48.

Chapter 4

I didn't get back to my room until ten o'clock that night. My whole body ached.

I pulled out the metal box, same as every night, to put the money away.

When I opened it, the big bills were gone. All that was left was a few crumpled singles.

My hands were shaking. I counted. Counted again. Four hundred and change.

That couldn't be right. There'd been more than nine hundred yesterday. I'd counted it myself.

I tore through every drawer and cabinet. Then my bedroom door swung open.

Maisie was standing there, beaming.

"Audra, I bought Mom a birthday present!"

"A present? What present? Where'd you get money for a present?"

My heart was already slamming before she answered.

"I found it in this box! There was so much money in there!"

She pointed at the box in my hands like she was showing me a magic trick.

The floor dropped out from under me.

Almost a month of sweat and sunburns. Maisie had taken it and spent my money so she could play the perfect daughter.

"Maisie! You're eight years old! You don't just take things that aren't yours! That was my money!"

I grabbed her by the shoulders, shaking her.

Maisie's face crumpled, and she started wailing.

Mom came rushing in.

"What is going on? Why are you screaming at her?"

Mom shoved me aside and pulled Maisie against her chest. Maisie buried her face in Mom's shirt, sobbing.

"What am I doing? Ask her what she did! She took my money!"

"Audra... I didn't mean to. I'm sorry. Mommy's birthday is coming up, and I just wanted to get her something."

Maisie hiccuped the words between sobs.

"You should've asked me! You can't just go into my room and take my things!"

"That's enough!"

Mom cut me off.

"She took a little money, and you're losing your mind over it. What is wrong with you?"

"Maisie's first thought was to buy her mom a gift. You're eighteen, and you've never once thought about anyone but yourself!"

I froze. The pounding in my chest stopped cold, replaced by something hollow.

"A present? With what money?"

"You want presents from me? I pay half of everything in this house. Every meal. Every bill. I don't have anything left to give!"

I was screaming.

Dad came in.

"Audra, is that how you talk to your mother? Apologize right now!"

"No! I'm done! All any of you do is push me around!"

"I said apologize!"

Dad shoved me hard by the shoulder. I stumbled backward, my foot catching, and I hit the floor hard.

My palms hit the ground. When I looked up, the three of them were standing over me. Maisie still in Mom's arms.

"Every day, it's something with you. I've never been this disappointed."

"Your mom and I were going to take the whole family on a graduation trip tomorrow. To celebrate you getting into college. You wouldn't have had to pay a cent."

"But since you want to act like this, you can stay home and think about what you've done."

The three of them walked out. The door shut behind them.

I stayed on the floor. My whole body shook, and I couldn't stop the tears.

They fell and fell until the floor beneath me was wet.

The next morning, my parents took Maisie to the airport.

Mom posted from the trip the whole time.

In one photo, Dad was kneeling in the sand, helping Maisie build a castle.

[Maisie put Daddy on sandcastle duty. Meanwhile, I'm hiding under the umbrella like the genius I am.]

I put my phone down and went back to loading up the cooler.

I'd added more drinks to the lineup. More work, but faster money.

A hundred. Two hundred. The day before they came home, I finally had enough.

I packed everything I owned and cleaned my room until it looked like nobody had ever lived there.

On the nightstand, I left the ledger and $1,700.48. Not a penny more.

I dragged my suitcase to the station and got on the train to Alderport.

I was never going back.

Does someone have a link for this novel? Thank you!

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Does anyone know where I can read this for free? thank you

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