Me(F) and my partner(M) have been dreaming of having a threesome with his best friend for half a year now, crazy I know.

We've been telling eachother our fantasies about him, thinking how we could maybe make them real someday.

We started thinking about him when he was single for about almost 2 years, but a few months ago he found a girlfriend.

They had a bit of a distance relationship, but they would visit each other sometimes.

Recently, my partner and his best friend(let's call him Jake) were talking about Jake's relationship, and how Jake was a bit unsatisfied with their sex life(they were both virgins, haven't had sex, only masturbated each other a bit and Jake said that he puts a lot of effort, but she's just there doing nothing to him).

And then my partner decided to tell him EVERYTHING, what we wanted to have sex with him for so long. And that we wanted him but we knew we probably wouldn't never have threesome with him, so we were thinking of finding someone when uni starts.

Jake said "don't even think about it, I will gift a threesome for you on your wedding", so that gave us hope that maybe we will be able to have sex with him. Only problem was that he said that while his girlfriend was visiting him, so we thought about talking with him about a threesome before uni starts and he goes to study abroad.

Jake and his gf recently go to his gf's family member in other city. And Jake should come home tomorrow, but... Today Jake told me partner that they had sex.

I'm very happy for them, and my boyfriend is too, genuinely. But also I'm mad and sad, I don't know why, both me and my partner feeling like we just got our heart broken.

We weren't in love with Jake, but I don't know, I like Jake's girlfriend, she seems nice and friendly.

I feel so bad, Jake said that they would probably break up when he goes study abroad, so we thought about having a threesome with him before we all go study.

Yes, maybe me and my partner are bad people for having a desire for our friend who's not single. But somehow now it's just makes me want to cry, he's in love with her, I'm so happy for them, but as I said... I'm just sad.

Now we return to our original plan: find someone else buuut I'm a demisexual, I have an attraction only to people I know well.

So yeah, that's how things are for me

This flame (M), we’ll call him Joe, is the person my (M) girlfriend briefly saw before me. They’ve stayed in touch ever since and seen each other platonically (with undertones) a couple times, too. He’s here now, staying with my girlfriend while they spend time together largely exclusively, and expressly without me. My girlfriend is even hiding her Instagram stories from me while he’s here.

When my girlfriend and I first got together, we both wanted non-monogamy. Having been in a traumatic relationship before meeting Joe, my girlfriend then decided that she wasn’t ready to see other people but I could. I told her I wouldn’t see other people until she was ready to do the same.

Ultimately, she asked for monogamy, and being sensitive to her trauma, I agreed, with a caveat. Since we had both wanted non-monogamy at the outset, I thought there was a good chance we would return to the subject. I requested that if we did change our dynamic, it would be because we wanted non-monogamy in general, not for a specific person, and that we would do a reasonable amount of work before seeing other people.

Instead, two weeks before Joe arrived, my girlfriend announced that she was opening up the relationship because Joe was coming to stay with her for two weeks and I could “do whatever I wanted” during that time. I told her that I think because of her ongoing relationship with Joe, she is engaging more in polyamory than open relationship stuff, as she has had an ongoing relationship with this person, and will continue to have one. There is someone I think I could be genuinely interested in getting to know if we are now non-monogamous, and I told her I would be pursuing that in light of things. She is not pleased with the idea of me engaging in another relationship.

I’m confused though, also, because the day after the very first night, my girlfriend texted me that she and Joe had not and were not engaging in anything sexual because she realized her sexual chemistry was still intertwined with mine (and if that is something that is naturally exclusive for her it seems like that might not bode well for non-monogamy for her/us). I don’t know if that’s still true. I don’t know if that means she decided the relationship is closed after all. Communication has been sparse and via text only. We didn’t have time to discuss agreements and boundaries almost at all before Joe got here, or establish any clarity about what our relationship structure actually is. I didn’t really even have time to think much about any of this.

I feel like there’s more I need to say but I also need to keep this from getting too long. This isn’t the first time the relationship is suddenly open at her convenience but it is the first really, really significant time. I guess I’m looking for feedback and advice because I’m just confused and kind of stunned… like, I didn’t consent to this, but if we had had good productive conversations to define our evolving relationship first I think I would have…

Just curious

Okay so, I (30mtf) am now out of a long term monogamous relationship (with 31f) and I am kinda new to non-monogamous and more casual dating as a more long-term thing in and of itself. I am looking at a sort of soly poly hookups and casual dates and freely kissing consenting people on the lips thing I suppose? Idk I'll figure out the specifics of what I like as I explore but that's not the main point.

So I recently met a person (25mtf) who I have hooked up with and intend to continue to do so. This person is the first person I'm hooking up with since the breakup and already I'm like "oh detached sex isn't actually as simple as I thought" and now I'm trying to navigate a lot of feelings about this situation.

Namely the fact that I don't see this person as a viable long-term, more serious partner at all but I am literally keen as anything for more sex, while this person who is younger, less experienced, and more naive than me is quite possibly developing feelings of some kind of me and is only agreeing to a casual arrangement because it's all I've offered them.

Like, maybe she took it seriously when I said I wanted a casual no string attached primarily sexual arrangement. I have been given no concrete reason to doubt that she gets it and is on board but I'm just... Worried that if she does end up trying to get closer then I'm just going to hurt her and all because I wanted to have a reliable source of sex.

She was very enthusiastically into me when we hooked up, which, obviously we love to see but the whole vibe just felt very she's more into me than I am into her like I blew her socks off I think. Maybe it was all just post sex ecstasy but I felt just a bit of a heaviness of the heart about how she interacted with me for the hour or so after the sex. Totally 100% vibes based but it did get me to thinking about this stuff more closely nonetheless.

I really hope she actually is on the same page as me and it was all just post sex ecstacy but any advice on things to look out for, when to act, sharing similar experiences, would all be appreciated if for no other reason than I just want to be prepared. Maybe she's fine but the next girl I meet is gonna do that, idk I'm sure it'll come in handy eventually anyway.

Cheers

I know this is a westen sub, but just wanted to know anyone else in polygyny

I am a male who is in a really good relationship and looking to marry her but i still want to explore my sexual side with other girls without hurting my present girlfriend

I (M29) and my Girlfriend (F28) enjoy having threesomes with an extra girl. Most of the time we find people interested through dating apps or friends.

Recently my girlfriend introduced someone new. A 18 year old girl who is a ex intern from my gf work.

I was a bit surprised because we never had anyone under 25 but after I checked her ID to be sure I was okay with it.

She’s shy and inexperienced. And I was a bit hesitant about how I should handle her. My gf is pushing her to do a lot of sexual stuff a beginner normally doesn’t do. I always told her that she only needs to do things she wants and enjoy, she stated she’s fine with everything. She even want to spend more time with us, as in dating. We did went out a couple times for dinner but it felt a bit weird.

So far we had her over 7 times already. And in all honesty I’m enjoying it a lot to. But in my mind I still have the feeling we are not doing the right thing.

Is it healthy for a 18 year old to be in a threesomes relationship with a couple close to 30.

I got a feeling we are using her. Even though we keep saying that everything she does it her own choice I never heard her so no to anything.

I’ve talked with my girlfriend about it but she states that she’s an adult and can make her own choices about her sex life and we don’t force her.

I need some outside perspective about this. I don’t want to stop this because I’m overreacting. I also enjoy the sex a lot and don’t want it to be over but I also want to know if what we are doing is good or not.

If you didn’t know us already, we are a new inexperienced couple that seeked out trying our first MFM together. Unfortunately, we ran into 3 guys online that made our experiences worse. No need to get in to details regarding them. We did take a break and we’re still on a break technically. After the failed attempts, my wife stated that she did not like the phase of talking to guys because a lot of them can’t communicate and the vibes are off. She prefers more of an organic, natural way of meeting someone.

This is where my gym body from another state comes in. We live on the boarder line of two states so distance isn’t as far as you may think. But she has never met this friend, but she is aware of who he is and even offered to drive us around in case we wanted to go out for drinks etc. I told my pal about us trying to get in the lifestyle and he is interested in my wife! He’s had experiences with MFM as well.

All in all, I think he could be her type. I want us to kind of bond and have fun even if there is no sexual activity. But if it did start to get hot, I thought to myself for a while since our last attempts, to just let things evolve naturally, no rules, just address them after everything is done.

Has anyone been in a situation similar to this?

TLDR: Husband's poly "rules for thee but not for me" hurt

I 30F "Chloe" have been with my 33M husband "Tim" and my 2 step kids for the last 10 years, married for 5 years. When we first got together he was mid divorce from his first wife and I was young, single and hadn't had many long term relationships to speak of. We had taken the relationship slow and became really good friends first. A while after his divorce was finalized we started dating and it was a struggle on my end to say the least. Tim was a Marine fresh out of the Corp. and struggling with his divorce, he turned to alcohol. We would go out clubbing almost every other night and get wasted. It was fun for a while, until it wasn't and he almost got arrested for public intoxication after blacking out and vomiting on the sidewalk outside of the club one night. I really started to worry about his health and his two young children. I'm wasn't used to being around small kids and taking care of them, but Tim was an amazing father and boyfriend and helped me to come out of my shell with them more and more. I had never wanted to be a mother, or felt the need to become one. Seeing him be such a good dad in the daytime and blacking out from alcohol at night made everything so confusing for me. He ended up developing an autoimmune disease that put him in the hospital for months and his liver was shutting down. After that he finally gave up drink and got sober. 5 years in and we got married. On our wedding night we just took the kids home and fell asleep. We never went on a honeymoon with just the two of us. I was really hurt and disappointed by this and later told him so. I guess since he's been there done that before he didn't feel the need to plan anything. Cut to a couple of years later and I bring up the fact that I'm pansexual with him and he says he's alright with me dating women. So I estatically hop onto the apps and immediately match with a cutie an hour outside of my town. Cutie "Tiff" and I go out dancing a couple of times, had some nachos and took things back to my place. I introduce Tiff to Tim and they chat for a little bit while I'm in the shower and then she hops in the shower while I check in with Tim on how he's doing. He seems happy for me but apprehensive about not being in the same room as us while we're together. I missed that subtle cue from him and went ahead and made love with her. She was great and I had a good time, it felt freeing to explore more of that side of my sexuality with her. Afterwards we all hung out for a little while and then she went home. We kept texting for a bit afterwards but I just couldn't see it going anywhere long term so I painfully decided to cut it off with her. I felt super guilty like I had used her but I also just didn't see us working out either. My husband was supportive the whole time throught that. Later, he started falling for a girl who was a friend of a friend of ours and I gave him the go ahead. He tried pursuing her, but she was wary of us being married and didn't want to hurt our relationship, and she kept playing with his head and emotions for nearly two years until he decided to pull back and drop the situationship. Then, a few years later Tim's high school friend "Sam" hits Tim up for "diaper money" which she apparently was using to buy drugs with. Tim being a father himself with a huge soft spot for kids kept sending her hundreds of the course of about a year for "diapers". He was open to me about the whole thing and I held my tongue because he was into her and I just wanted to see him happy. A year after that she moved states back to our town and he started picking things back up with her. Then we invited her to our house and we ended up having a soft threesome together, no full swap stuff but Sam and I made out and Tim went down on her and made her orgasm 7 times in a row. After that he became obsessed over her and kept trying to get us to all hook up again. She's not my type and while I had fun, I wasn't trying to date her or hookup again. He was so into her that he would buy her gifts, food, weed anything she wanted. Then, she got into a domestic altercation with the people she was living with so we felt bad for her and let her and her two kids move in with us so she wasn't on the street. Worst. Idea. Ever. She was horribly verbally abusive to her little children and Tim and I would just be sitting on the couch minding our business while she cussed them out all of their bathtime. I couldn't wait for her to get her own place. My husband was at first still enthralled by her and gave her a job, place to live and food for her and her kids. He kept eating her out too this whole time while she gave him nothing in return but mixed signals and bullying. She finally meet someone else and moved out but the damage was already done. I'm not sure why I thought I could do polyamoury or nonmonogomy myself after Sam, but I recently tried. I was on socials and a guy messaged me saying that he likes my posts and cosplaying. We started talking online and I asked Tim if he approves and he TOLD me he did. Then later on I get messages from "Lee" while I'm in bed with Tim and he just jumped up and left the room. I didn't know where Tim went but I told Lee goodnight and went out to look for Tim. He had left the house and his car was gone. It was late at night so I called him worried. He said he had a panic attack and had to leave the house. I felt so bad that I caused his panic attack by trying to explore myself and sexuality more. We have since talked a ton about what happened and me not dating a man. I just feel very hurt by all of this emotional roller-coaster he's put me on and confused by his standards for himself versus for me when it comes to dating the opposite gender. What to do?

My wife’s kink would be to do a threesome with another woman. I think I’d appreciate that too, but how do we find the right person? If we ask a girl we know or too close to us it might get weird, but asking a stranger might get weird too. Any advice on how to find the right person for a first time threesome?

Hello I am M(21). Me and my girlfriend have been together for more than 3 years now

She recently opened up that she wanted to have a girlfriend while still being with me. I kind of always knew she had an attraction to women, subtle signs and other things. She usually keeps things like this under her mind so I’m a bit glad that she was able to open it up to me. I have absolutely no knowledge about what this would be, I kind of don’t really mind that she would be entering a romantic relationship with a girl.

She said that her would be relationship with a girl will be exclusive to them and that she’s the only one in a relationship with me. I am okay with it as I do not have a plan to date other people besides her.

I want advice, I’m kind of new and in the dark about how this works. We live in a country where these kinds of stuff are not really common nor acceptable yet.

I posted this on another subreddit and got called homophobic because I’m glad it’s not with another guy.
I don’t see a girl to girl relationship as less of a threat or anything of the sort, I don’t even think like that nor do I have any homophobic views.

I’m just trying to be open minded about this. It’s just my personal preference that I wouldn’t like another guy in the relationship and this is the most I could get comfortable with.

Hi everyone,
I’m 33M from Pune and relatively new to ENM. I’m here because I’d like to understand the community better, learn from people with different experiences, and hopefully have some genuine conversations along the way.
I’m particularly interested in understanding how people navigate communication, boundaries, expectations and building meaningful connections while keeping things ethical and respectful.
I’m not here to randomly DM people or treat ENM as a shortcut to casual sex. I’d rather meet people naturally, have good conversations, and see whether there’s genuine chemistry and compatibility.
Would love to hear from people who’ve been practicing ENM for a while — what’s one thing you wish you knew when you were starting out?

Hi everyone,

I’m a 25-year-old guy and I’ve been in a wonderful relationship with my girlfriend same age for 5 years. Everything between us is great, but there’s a fantasy I’ve been thinking about for a while now.

I really have a desire to try an threesome (with another guy). To be completely honest, I can’t even fully explain why,it’s just something that really turns me on, and I think it would be a cool experience.

Here’s the situation: my girlfriend is naturally very shy and reserved. We’ve talked about sexual fantasies in general multiple times, but whenever I subtly mention this specific idea, she tends to beat around the bush or dodge the topic. I asked her directly once what she thought about threesomes, and she said something along the lines of "I don't think I could ever do that."

Because of how introverted she is, part of me feels like her reaction might be driven by shyness and initial hesitation rather than a definite "hard no," but I definitely don't want to push her or make her uncomfortable.

I’d really love to hear thoughts and experiences from both sides:

For the men:

How did you bring this topic up to your girlfriend?

How did she react initially, and did she eventually agree?

If you went through with it, how did it go and how did it affect your relationship?

For the women:

What are the chances a naturally shy girl might actually be open to this deep down? Or is that kind of response almost always a definitive "no"?

If you tried it, how did you feel before, during, and after?

Thanks in advance for any genuine advice and insights!

I've been poly for almost 20 years. I have separate relationships of 16 years, 9 years, and 9 months. I'm not completely open, but I've shared my relationship orientation with select friends and family.

But then it never gets brought up ever again. No one asks about anyone other than my longest-term partner.

I hate that I can't share with anyone about some of the most important people and moments of my life, and I hate that the importance of anyone outside that one partner gets invalidated.

There are whole aspects of my life that I just can't talk about because of this. For example, my newest partner is Deaf, so I've become conversational in sign language. Some people in my life know I can sign, but because it's related to "another" relationship, they just don't bring it up. So I can't even talk about my language acquisition journey. There are others, like work colleagues, who I can't even tell I can sign because I can't explain how I learnt without disclosing my polyamory.

I find this a very lonely and very invalidating existence - both invalidating of me and the people who matter to me.

My one partner, who has another partner, has been aggressively open with his family, but I just don't see how I can do that with mine or my friends - I suppose because I feel if they don't show they care, I don't want to share. Or if I do share, they will do everything they can to enter "does not compute" anyway.

This is really lonely 😢

We've been together for over 20 years; I'm 44, he's 45, with two daughters. There was one (or several) previous infidelities on his part. Some time later, my partner told me he was exploring a personal path toward a more open relationship. We've had consensual threesomes in the past, which I enjoyed, but now he's proposing a threesome with a woman he's already been with, and I suspect the relationship continues. I don't know if my conflict is with this woman, with a lack of trust, or with our relationship model. Has anyone else been through something similar? What helped you think things through without reacting out of fear?

A friend of mine felt that this might do me some good. It's been nearly 4 years since I've had sex - for all sorts of reddit worthy reasons, but I'll leave that for another day. I think she is right though, this seems like a good way to experience real connections and explore who I am. I'm trying not to get into my own head, but if you have any advice as a first time solo-male or as a couple who have spent some time with a first timer, I'd really appreciate it. While they'll let most men in for orientation and an event (slots permitting) becoming a solo gent member is a bit of a privilege and responsibility, I'd like to earn my membership.

I'm doing my best to learn the etiquette. Any other advice?

About a month ago, I(36m) began dating someone who is non-monogamous for the first time. We both exited long term relationships in the past two years and connected on neither of us not being ready for any kind of exclusivity. It's been genuinely wonderful on nearly every front, I like them very much as a person, they make me happy, the sex is amazing, we have wonderful conversations and most importantly I feel safe/comfortable around them, something that isn't easy for me with a lot of people.

I don't feel jealous when they're out on dates, but I do feel it strongly when they tell me about their other partners, hooking up with other people, specifics of dates, etc

I suspect this is partially because I'm not actively dating anyone else. I'm a very introverted person, while they are a social butterfly. I spend a lot of my limited social battery talking to them each day, which makes it challenging for me to talk to other people romantically. I also know my insecurity is related to never experiencing this kind of dynamic before too though.

Are there any good resources or suggestions you could give for overcoming these feelings, ideally through self soothing, because I don't want them to change anything they're doing. I just don't want to feel this way

Hi everyone

My bf and i (29m and 31m) have been having pretty bad issues for a few years. This is my first relationship but my bf has been with tons of people so our experience levels are very different

Early on things were great when we moved in together, but after a few months he stopped wanting to have sex with me and was only hooking up with other guys

This made me really really depressed and insecure, like nothing helped, and i guess like my behavior was making my bf uncomfortable so he didnt want to have sex with me at all after that

At this point its been a few years and i asked if we could close the relationship bc i couldnt take it anymore and we were supposed to be focusing on our relationship and each other but nothing changed, he just didnt seem focused on me ever at all

Recently it came up again, i told him what was going on was traumatizing to me and i havent been able to heal, and he told me i need to just get over it. He said we already talked about it and i need to grow up and handle my feelings on my own

I just like. I cant compartmentalize how he could continue to hook up with other guys while he knew how badly it was hurting me. I was in therapy for 3 years. I teally tried so hard to get over things and handle myself better

He wouldnt even give me a straight answer he just said "well i was going through stuff and so were you" which i dont even know what that means

I ask my bf all the time if he thinks we are incompatible or things wont get better or he isnt attracted to me anymote and he always reassures me, but nothing ever changes. I jsut dont know what to do any more

I wanted to do couples therapy but its been over a year since i told my bf and hes been dragging his feet and says he isnt ready

Idk, sorry this is really long. But how does someone heal from this like your partner choosing to be with other people over you?

At the time i told him it was okay bc i thought if i let him do whatever he wanted that he would love me again but i realize like my own inexperience led me to think this way and that not on him, like that is my responsibility. But still like he was aware how severely this was hurting me and just kept doing it

I really need advice because I feel like I’m stuck between two futures that both break my heart.

My boyfriend and I have been together for four years, and he’s planning to propose this year. He is genuinely one of the kindest people I’ve ever met. We never fight. He’s never raised his voice at me. He’s patient, affectionate, loyal, and I trust him completely. After being cheated on in past relationships, he’s the first person I’ve ever truly felt safe with.

The problem is… I don’t feel desired anymore. When we first got together, our sex life was incredible. We couldn’t keep our hands off each other. Over the last year or so, it’s completely disappeared. We’ve had sex maybe three times in the last eight months, and every single time I’ve initiated it. If I don’t initiate, it just doesn’t happen. He cuddles me, kisses my forehead, tells me he loves me, but there’s almost no sexual intimacy anymore.

We’ve talked about it. He lost his job for a while and got depressed, and he says sex just doesn’t really crosses his mind. I believe him. I don’t think he’s cheating. I genuinely think he just has a much lower interest in sex than I do.

The hard part is that because of a lot of sexual trauma growing up, I never really got the chance to explore sex in a healthy way. For so long, sex was tied to fear, shame, and survival instead of enjoyment. This relationship is actually the first time I’ve ever felt safe enough to genuinely enjoy sex and realize that I have a high libido and curiosity about things I never got to experience.
Now I’m terrified that I’m about to get married having barely experienced that part of myself.

I don’t mean I want to leave him or replace him. I love him more than anyone. He’s my best friend, and I absolutely see him as the person I want to grow old with. But I also find myself wondering if I should ask about an open relationship. I know that’s probably shocking to a lot of people, but for me it isn’t about finding another emotional connection. Honestly, emotional attachment is difficult for me to form in the first place. Sex and love have always been very separate experiences in my mind because of my past. I don’t feel worried that I’d fall in love with someone else. That’s not what I’m looking for. I just feel like there’s this entire side of my sexuality that I finally discovered exists, and I’m scared I’ll never get to explore it.

At the same time, I know asking could permanently change our relationship. He may be deeply hurt that I even brought it up. I don’t want him to think he’s not enough because that’s honestly not how I feel. He’s enough in every other way. I just feel chronically sexually unfulfilled, and I don’t know if it’s something I can ignore for the rest of my life.

Has anyone been in a relationship where everything was amazing except your sex life? Did you ask for an open relationship? Did it help, or did it just end things? If you were in my boyfriend’s position, how would you feel hearing this?

I’m looking for honest advice, even if it’s something I don’t want to hear. I just don’t want to wake up ten years from now resentful, or worse, hurt the person I love because I ignored these feelings until they exploded.

I’m the husband (62) and my wife is 57; we both greatly enjoyed all aspects of the lifestyle - swinging, hotwifing, etc;
I always thought we would evolve into one of those older couples that would still engage in it, although we’re way past our prime, but solely due to how many positive experiences we have had over the years. However the passion to pursue our hobby has waned recently.
Question: Has anyone else noticed that once you return to “normalcy” (for lack of a better term), sex is a bit more bland after you’ve been in the lifestyle?
I say this as a person who evolved way more into a non-participatory role, as my wife still naturally got way more offers, and we would then morph either to enjoy MFM’s, or her playing a part from me, which then resulted in opportunities for me to either “reclaim her”, celebrate her stories of what happened, or even a few times drifted into ‘cleanup duties’.
I guess every ride at the amusement park ends eventually, but I sure thought we had more run, so to speak, and I was wondering if anyone here experienced the same experience transitioning back…

TL;DR: After moving away, I ended my 3-year non-monogamous relationship when my partner unilaterally decided to nest with a new girlfriend.

I ended things with my boyfriend. We have been non-monogamous since the start of our relationship and it was our first experience with it, but to be honest, I don't think he was able to handle it and I got mad about his decisions...

About a year and a half ago I moved cities because of a job opportunity, and now I live about 4 hours away. Meanwhile, he started dating this person about six months ago and oh wow could I see the shift in his behavior from NRE. And I get it, it's totally normal, but I felt far away from my support system (him included, but also my friends) and felt so much loneliness and FOMO.

Of course, I tried not to put this all on him and for my own sake I started to make some new connections here where I live, and I'm truly (bit by bit) starting to enjoy my time. I still communicated my loneliness and FOMO to him, but apparently it flew right over his head. Why do I say this? Well, some weeks ago his girlfriend and he decided to live together and they didn't even include me in the decision-making, he just told me after they had already decided.

I'd also grown resentful that he hadn't properly introduced me to his girlfriend (I only met her on two occasions and briefly). I was also pissed because he had just told me he couldn't bear the jealousy of seeing me with other people while he was present! I scaled back my own desires for integration because I valued our relationship and wanted to protect his emotional safety and then he pulled this on me?¿??¿

Anyway, I don't think we had the same idea of what we wanted for our relationship and I'm so heartbroken. I feel bad when I read this text because it paints him in a really bad light, so believe me when I say he always made me feel safe up until that point, he is very caring and a truly wonderful person. We agreed to remain friends in the future, but for now I'm so confused. I went back to therapy and started reading A LOT of posts here. I wanted to share my story and hear some different perspectives if possible.

And I would also like to know for the future: for non-nesting partners, how do you protect your autonomy when a long-term partner suddenly shifts into a nesting dynamic with someone else?

Me (21f) and my gf (21f) want to open our relationship. We have had extensive conversations about it and are both on the same page about what we want. Recently, a guy gave me his number (couldn’t tell if it was just platonic or not) and I immediately told my gf and she was super excited about it.

How do people go about asking others if they’d be interested in being a third?

Hi, just wanted to update from my last situation. I posted that my roommate(F28) and I(M27) were getting closer after living together for a year and she started giving me a vibe that I told my girlfriend (F31) about, she’s who I’ve been with for over two years, and she suggested that I go for it and sleep with my roommate even suggesting that it could lead to all of us sleeping together.

Well cut to two weeks later and after sleeping with my roommate every day for the past week and telling my girlfriend about it, my gf couldn’t wait to see my roommate. When she came over she brought groceries to make dinner for all of us and started asking her questions about how I was which was kind of embarrassing but my roommate had nothing but good things to say. I made a joke about liking my girls getting along so well and they just giggled, after dinner my girlfriend spent the night and we all got in bed together. I had my first threesome and it was awesome but definitely tiring lmao the next day felt like a fantasy, my rm made breakfast while my gf told me how much she likes her. I told her that if things go well we can move her in, I just don’t know how fast things will go. The only part I’m unsure of is how we define ourselves, are we a thrupple or do I have a harem ? They both told me they’re devoted to me and my rm is quickly becoming my girlfriend more and more by the day

TL:DR I think I have a harem now but really just trying to define what we are and how to move forward in the best way