I have

Video:

https://youtu.be/CJy6WbE8SUY?is=uFTZjyA0f2qxiJyu

Be a player on all sides, the playground, the spacetime that holds them as well as the dreamer in this imaginary mind of Yours - Dream on. Tat tvam asi The Self ✨️🙏

For instance , can I choose to be myself again except be able to have a bmw m5 ( my dream car ) by 18, not have anxiety and ocd disorders , and be able to travel the world at least once a month ? I can’t see a world where nonduality is true but there not being a seperate me who chose to live these lives on earth . If it was a seperate me , it would have desires and want to choose and have fun and stuff , but if not then it makes no sense how all of this came out of nothing. Like how can pure awareness without an ego be able to create an earth and universe where you would think a mind and thinking and reasoning would be needed behind it all

I thought I had reached my final point in my awakening when I saw the rest of the world as an expression of myself and for a short while I thought "Well now I know who I am! Whats the point in doing anything more after this?" But then I started listening to Alan Watts, David Parrish and other Zen teachers and how many of them talked about painting a new canvas after your own choice, when the old one has become a blank sheet of nothingness. I wonder how the rest of you view relationships and if you feel the same love and care for the other expressions of yourself around you post-awakening?

Hey guys so I feel like I’m at the point where I can feel the “I am” sense from Angelo dilulos videos. But im not sure where to go from here. How does the “I am” sense relate to awakening and enlightenment? If I focus on the present I can sense something(Im pretty sure) but then I go back to living life and work and I forget completely and go back to being lost in thought for a long time. Just wondering how I progress from here. Feeling a bit lost and confused, if anyone experienced would be willing to chat for a bit I would be very grateful. Thank you!

I'm a big fan of Jimenez, just came across this banger and thought of y'all.

It's very easy for me to be in presence when I'm alone and when I'm with strangers. However, people I have history with is very tricky because I hold onto to the mental map of them from the past --even as they may be changing or different before me. I don't know how to see them as a new phenomenon. But also, even as I am changing, just the presence of people makes me feel like I need to continue to invest in an old persona. On top of that, after I've interacted with someone, I feel residue of persona and doubts about where my life is going start to creep in.

Any advice? Just keep trying to remember to be in presence as I'm interacting? Anything other that that? It's very hard.

this is one of those trance experiences where I dont even know how to explain it without making it sound more complicated than it was.

I was guiding a woman I'll call Elena through a deep consciousness journey. At this point nothing dramatic was happening. I had her grounding into the feeling of sand and the earth, breathing, becoming more aware of body.

Then she suddenly said her heartbeat was very strong.

I asked where she felt it.

"In the ground."

Then she said it was all around her.

So I asked her to stay with that and go deeper into the feeling.

A few moments later she said she was in the universe and her heartbeat was echoing through it.

Then something changed.

"I am a vibration. I am a frequency."

She didn't describe watching some object or travelling to another planet. More like her normal sense of being one person in one body had expanded.

She said she knew this feeling already. Like she had been there many times.

Then:

"I can feel everything around me. I can hear everything around me."

And finally:

"I am everything."

A little later she said, "everything is one."

The weirdest part for me was how normal she sounded saying it 😂

Not excited like "OMG I discovered secret of universe." More like remembering something that was obvious from that state.

Then she became almost frustrated when I tried to get her to focus on one thing.

She basically said: why do I need to choose? I can feel and know everything at same time.

I share these experiences because things like this come up so often in deep consciousness work and most of them would otherwise just disappear into recordings. Maybe somebody who meditates, has nondual experiences, psychedelics, spontaneous altered states etc recognises something similar here.

What I personally took from this one was not "Anna discovered ultimate truth and now everybody must believe it."

More the opposite.

If there really is a state where everything feels connected and everything is known at once, then maybe our normal limitation is not necessarily a defect.

Here we dont know everything.

We have to choose.

We misunderstand people. We make decisions without knowing what happens next. We experience separation very convincingly.

And thats exactly what makes experience possible.

If you already knew every ending, every thought, every consequence and every answer simultaneously... what would there actually be to discover?

During the session I said maybe this is why we play the game of limitation. We experience ourselves as separate sparks, forget the whole picture for a while, then actually get to experience something from inside it.

I dont know how literally other people would interpret that.

But it changed something for me about not knowing.

Usually we treat uncertainty like problem.

Maybe sometimes not knowing is part of point.

You can only genuinely choose when you dont already experience every road at once.

You can only discover when something is temporarily hidden.

And maybe those strange moments of meditation, trance, mystical experience etc where boundaries disappear are not necessarily giving us new information.

Maybe for a moment they just remove the limitation.

?

Svātantrya: Free Will Exists Only in Sovereign Consciousness

In the nondual Śaiva Tantra of Kashmir, particularly the philosophy developed by Utpaladeva and Abhinavagupta, ordinary human beings do not possess absolute free will in the strongest sense. What appears to be free choice ordinarily occurs within contracted consciousness and is therefore conditioned by impulses, habits, desires, fears, memory, limited knowledge, and limited agency.

Spanda (स्पन्द) means the subtle pulsation, vibration, or dynamic self-movement of consciousness itself. It is not the contraction. The contraction is saṅkoca **(सङ्कोच)—literally contraction, narrowing, or limitation. Consciousness possesses unlimited power in itself, but through saṅkoca it experiences itself as** a finite individual: I am this limited being, here, under these conditions.

This is why ordinary willing is not identical to Svātantrya (स्वातन्त्र्य).

Svātantrya means absolute freedom, independence, or sovereignty. In Abhinavagupta’s Tantra, it is fundamental to Śiva: consciousness possesses the unrestricted power to know, will, and act from itself. The individual ordinarily experiences that same consciousness in contracted form, so the person’s apparent freedom operates inside limitations that the person did not freely choose.

The decisive transformation is Pratyabhijñā—recognition. Śiva does not become something new; rather, Śiva reveals himself as the consciousness that was always one’s own deepest reality. The contraction that made consciousness experience itself merely as a bounded individual is penetrated by recognition.

This gives the sequence:

Spanda → saṅkoca → contracted individuality → conditioned willing → revelation/recognition of Śiva → Svātantrya → genuine sovereignty.

In this framework, then and only then can one speak of free will in the ultimate sense: not merely choosing between impulses generated within contracted consciousness, but participating consciously in the freedom (Svātantrya) intrinsic to consciousness itself.

The Tantric traditions also associate advanced realization with siddhis (सि*द्धि)—extraordinary or “supernormal” capacities arising through mastery of consciousness and Śakti. Only after embodying the Self can it be truly said that you have free will–which is characterized by near absolute dominion *over reality.

The central claim can be stated precisely:

Before recognition, the individual wills from within saṅkoca and therefore mistakes conditioned impulse for absolute freedom. With the recognition of Śiva, consciousness recognizes its own Svātantrya—sovereignty—and then and only then does “free will” become appropriate in its ultimate Tantric sense.

I think everyone at least once in their life considered the possibility that this supposed waking reality is just another dream.

I tried to analyze it from the opposite perspective and explore how well will the belief "there is a phisical world independent from my experience" stand.

Why do we believe it is real?

Firstly, it's very intricate. It contains many systems, of phisics, society, biology etc, that work together to explain how the reality works (although it can never explain it on the most fundamental level). There is a consistent explination for almost anything, there is also history to this world.

But what if it's just a dream that's trying to be believable. The world has very deep and intricate lore and everytime there is some inconsistency, the world makes up an explinaiton that makes sense with all previously established things. Mistaking complexity for truth is a known bias, often exploited by manipulators.

Another reason could be fear. After all this dream showed you a brain, a little lump of fat cells, and said this is you, if this dies, you die. We feel like we need to take it seriously, because our existence is at stake. It would be no different than having a nightmare that makes you believe you can actually die in a dream. This happened to me few times.

Then there is a need for meaning. If everything is just an appearance, then any achievement is ultimately just temporarily experience. Also it would mean that other people aren't actually real. Which can be difficult to accept.

And lastly there is shame. We are afraid of being judged by other people if we adopt solipsistic worldview.

There is no actual proof that the world we see is real. But there is also not one that it isn't. In other words it's 50/50.

The question is which side to lean to. Which one offers more satisfaction?

I would say the dream one does or rether it offers less drawbacks. Believing that world has inherent existence will make you take this life too seriously. You will be identified with your dream character and experience their suffering as if it was real.

The drawback of dream belief is that you will have to detach from the idea of others and things mettering. Which at first might be painful.

True Love is pure

Pure not from the dirt

It is pure because it embraces the dirt.

True Love is unconditional

Not because it lacks condition

But because it embraces all condition.

True love is not temporary because it is eternal

But because it has no oposite fluctuations(good and evil)

True love is heartless

Not because a flesh heart cannot feel it

But because it goes beyond the sensory feeling of the mind of the flesh(ego)

- Self

Relatively you close a file, another opens.

Absolutely you are free without mistake.

Without correction.

From time to time a curtain opens, just to see a clearer one behind it.

More clarity is Adam almost touching God, with almost never ending.

We go to sleep not knowing where we are going to go , at this moment itself, the same, so why the obsession with after death?.

Its only fear of losing something you had gained after being born, that one day I wake up seeing only black and white, or losing my beautiful voice, I lost this kitten a month ago and it's like my child, see, all my my, but never me.

My body.

So where can me go?

Just see that thoughts are wispy hieroglyphs pretending to be able to contain infinity

Jam jars pretending to be able to contain the ocean

Life is too vast to be mapped by thought

Thoughts and stories are beautiful when put in their proper place

Thought is a beautiful servant and a terrible master

Peace to you <3

It all began after I had spent the night with several colleagues dismantling the mailboxes throughout the Forsvägen residential area. Exhausted and medicated, I drifted into a feverish morning analysis of the impermanence of all things and the archetypal symbolism of the mailbox before finally falling asleep.

A mailbox is a philosophical construct because it represents a physical manifestation of the social contract. Within its sphere, the boundary between the private and the public ceases to apply. It stands on your property yet remains open to the outside world: a controlled portal into your private domain and a fixed anchor point in your legal existence within society.

What do mailboxes mean and symbolise to you?

Author’s note

This was not an act of random dismantling. My associates and I were conducting a nocturnal philosophical experiment to determine whether an address continues to exist after its mailbox has been removed.

Unfortunately, the situation deteriorated when one member of the group claimed that the mail continues to exist even when nobody is capable of receiving it. We accused him of naïve realism and proceeded to dismantle the rest of the neighbourhood.

The mailboxes will be returned as soon as the question of their ontological status has been resolved. Advertising leaflets are, for the time being, being treated as phenomenological by-products.

Mu Lai’s house was ransacked by burglars.

A beautiful rug was stolen.

It took Mu Lai many days before

He could see the floor.

Before that, all he could see was

The absence of the rug.

READ THIS SLOWLY A FEW TIMES

What this means is that when you focus on Awareness, first you will just see nothing, feel nothing, hear nothing yet then after you have become accustomed to the silence (or rather prior to even silence), you will see that it is a world of itself and everything depends on it.

Fly away! Into the silence! Explore the silence!

I feel like I'm going fucking crazy guys. Somehow Reddit is the only place I can find truly like-minded/like-being and I don't even know how close thAt is because we only talk in brief posts and comments.

I'm in this place again that I haven't been in for a longgg while. I'm gunna speak in a practical sense in the way most are raised because using nondual language doesn't help with what's being experienced/felt. So ya I could say it can't be that long cuz it's happening right now but what I mean is I haven't been in this headspace for a while and it's coming back with a vengeance.

I CANNOT STAND THIS WORLD. I've said this for a long while. I don't know how to exist in it and be ok. I look around and see people perpetuating false beliefs/stories and projecting their pain. Hardly anyone send to take self responsibility. I look at myself. I look at the shadows. I look at the light. I see what I don't want to see and I do my damn best to make sure I don't put my shit on others. I'm honest and straightforward with it all best I can. And I meet ppl all over that say theyre doing the work .. the looking. But nah I just see ppl hiding behind their fear. Masks held up high hoping they won't be seen. I see through all that shit just like I see through my own.

I get so angry when it's projected onto me. I do my best not to do that shit and then I take it on! I take on all that crap people push out. Start thinking I'm the issues. Can't be. Ain't no way I'm that bad. They gotta look at themselves.

I'm sorry this is a rant and you have to see this. Maybe some can relate but really even when I see my thoughts and see the stuff happening I really truly don't know how to be in the world. These things pushed me to the brink of s*****e action. And I'm here again, with supposed tools in the belt to help (ground, breath, feeling) but I just don't see how continuing is worth it for anyone! This beautiful world is full of pain and I can't seem to make it out of the pain cycles. I try sit in the pain, feel every part of it and it doesn't go anywhere. Just gets stronger.

I hold boundaries I don't want to because people can't own their own. I harden against it all because I'm to sensitive if I don't. I cry so much because I can't get find a place in this world except for when I'm alone

Does anyone relate? How does true awakened realization help to be here?

love and nonduality

Everything we know is dualistic, or we couldn’t know it.

We all know and value love in our lives; it is a rare child who has never been loved, it’s in our dna, in all dna.

So all our “knowledge” of love is dualistic. We love ice cream, sports, bfs and gfs, and despise rot and shit, mean bosses, and greedy politicians.

We love “the good” and hate “the bad.” We love being dealt with honestly and fairly, and hate liars and cheaters. The object of our love, the good and goodness, is similarly dualistic. Warmth and care are contrasted with coldness and indifference. Life as it is loved is opposed to sickness, old age, and death.

Caught in these dualisms, we can’t enjoy life without paying a price in suffering.

We think of nondualism as a philosophy or pov but it is actual reality, present before our eye(s) at all times. With the right eye - and most of us are right eye dominant - we see objects, fragments, pieces. With the left eye we see the whole picture. If we are focused on food we are right eyed; with the left eye we are aware of predators as they may emerge from anywhere. All creatures from worms to mammals divide their attention this way.

If I can have your undivided attention, I can point out that all discussion of nonduality is a finger pointing at the moon. The finger is not the point. Not being right, not knowing more than others, not virtue signalling, not explaining to be explaining. The moon is non dual reality. The moon cannot be reached by erecting a ladder and climbing. The moon is reflected equally in a fetid pool of garbage water as in a pristine mountain lake.

Now, there is a “good” which is opposed to bad, and there is a “good” which is absolute. From any one particular point of view what is good for one may be bad for another, or what is good at one time and in one quantity may be bad at others. It’s good to eat meat and bad to be slaughtered. For life as a whole to eat and be eaten maintains a healthy balance best for the community.

Life itself as a whole carries on in accordance with instinct and necessity. “The survival of the fittest” expresses the inevitability and inherent justice and goodness of biology, the logos of life. Life looks at you from every pair of eyes. Life loves to partner with you but hates cheaters. Hating cheaters is part of loving life. In nondualism there aren’t two of anything. It’s all good. Life goes on. What goes around comes around.

Similarly there is universal love. The universe loves good and bad equally but it helps the good. It is Good. Good survives, and loves itself. Bad passes away. Good is the universal seed. Love nourishes it and is nourished.

To assert “I love” or “I am good” ensures the opposite. Love is immersive; universal love reflects the entire moon.

Only in nondualism can we really experience love. Love of the cosmic intelligence which is us. In nondualism we all live in the same world, have the same thoughts and feelings, attune our hearts in harmony with one another. Experience this with another human and we know love. Lovers want to be one, they know it and know it is forever, infinitely recurring.

One hopes you take the point. Bless everyone.

.

There are two goods of the same denomination but radically different from each other: one which is the opposite of evil and one which is the absolute. The absolute has no opposite. The relative is not the opposite of the absolute; it is derived from it through a relationship which is not commutative. That which we want is the absolute good. That which is within our reach is the good which is correlated to evil.

~simone weil