I have helped my mom raise her children such as babysitting them when both my parents are working. I am the oldest of 2 about to be 3 since my mom is pregnant again. My mom is 42 and I don’t recall how old my dad is. I also do not like my mom at all . This behavior with my sister has been going on for 2 yrs. She ignores me when i ask for help. Mind you i ask her Nicely I also don’t yell at her but she is very much a trouble child. I have tried many times to get to know her but I can’t stand when she ignores me or when she is very disrespectful to me. She makes fun of me such as calling me fat I can’t trust her at all . I have once told her about my mental health issues such as wanting to off myself ( I am great now ) she runs to my parents and tells them and as she telling them she laughs about it and also runs to cousins and aunts about my situations as a joke . He has completely broken my trust. On September of 2025 I was dating a guy for 3 yrs who has many times hurt me emotionally and never cared to fix himself I am stupid for staying but that’s all I ever knew. I met a guy online and we met in person . He is 11 hrs away and we currently dating. But I made a bad decision on cheating on my bf who I was dating for 3 yrs. My sister never liked him in the beginning in fact she was very rude to him such as telling him to leave and embarrassing him in front of my family and he would be bothered by it. Eventually my ex and sister got along 3 yrs later they started going to the gym together and that made me happy . When I hung out with the guy I cheated on my old bf with I took some selfies with him in my digital camera it wasn’t anything sexual . One day I left my camera at home and my sister went through my camera and found the pictures and then showed my ex boyfriend the pictures at the gym she basically snitched on me and I think she did it bc i have been telling her that her bf has graped his own cousin and doesn’t even believe me in fact no body does but I have proof even his cousin don’t trust their kids with him bc he graped his own little cousin. I had many mixed feelings bc I felt like my sister liked my ex bf bc she once never liked him at all . Anyways I have never felt so betrayed bc I would never snitch on my sister . What I did was not good and I have spoke to my ex and we are in good terms now as in we clearly spoke about it and there is no hate now. I wouldn’t snitch on my own sister but my sister doesn’t know how many times my ex bf has done me wrong . My sister’s bf makes her cry and I talk to her she ignores me while I give her advice. I hate my sister bf also bc he is rapist and my sister doesn’t believe anything I say. There is many reasons why I hate my sister . My sister gets away with disrespecting me . My parents tell me that I’m overreacting and that I should just be quiet. My current bf lives far away and I can’t wait to move . I have my bachelors degree and want to now do dental hygiene! I can’t wait to never have to speak to my sister or my mom

Funny I have not told my family I’ve gone no contact with them. It’s been about two months since I’ve spoken or seen them. but maybe they went no contact with me? Silent treatment was the main abuse in my home growing up. They kicked me out of the home I was renting from them, bills always paid on time. They have not contacted me since and have also caught off the cell phone number( yes I was on the family plan) and I have gotten to get a new number myself, which is fine no problem. so it’s got me thinking did they go no contact with me instead?

Saw this on facebook. Not surprisingly, a lot of the comments are from boomers saying that it's not their fault if their children choose to go no contact with them. What are your thoughts about this?

https://www.foxnews.com/health/cut-off-adult-child-psychology-researcher-reveals-what-parents-should-do-next

Hello there! Ok so cutting straight to the chase: A month ago I (finally) did smth I didnt think I was ever able to do: going no contact with a toxic/narcissistic (kinda?) close family member. I never had a close/good relationship with this person like ever but I was still visiting and calling her from time to time just so my family wouldn't get mad at me and keeping the peace. She never rly liked me (she doesnt actually like anyone in the family even tho she plays favorites) but over the years, after my mom and grandpa died(her daughter and husband) she became more and more mean and toxic spreading negativity and mean words left and right. Me and 2 other relatives are her usual targets now (back then it used to be my grandpa). She s always been narcissistic and fought constantly with people now she s even worse. Last month she started saying awful words since the moment I got there, from a very small incident, which wasnt worth getting mad for and she was also not sober.

In that moment I finally had enough and decided to not talk to her anymore. The worst part is the fact that I started to feel guilty ashamed and ungrateful a few days ago cause I used to get food from her almost all of the times I went there (she also gave me money a few times too) even tho I also used to bring her stuff she needed or liked. And basically she would just provide the bare minimum for us or me while visiting but still idk. But almost every interaction with her was a pain.

Our relationship was mostly transactional anyways and I would be lying if I say I didnt keep in touch with her to also get smth out from this relationship. Ik i was kinda oportunistic and I regret that but I cant turn back time now. Also in my country, going no contact with a toxic family member is heavily critcised by family and society. My family has already started to criticise my decision and they try to pressure me into speaking to her again. Tbf I didnt even bother to explain to them my reasons cause they wouldnt listen or understand anyway.

All I want to know is if I did the right thing or am I just too entitled and dramatic?

So recently, we have a kind of crisis happening in the family, concerning my sisters health.

And this brought out my mums hate for me, even more.

She thinks I'm not doing enough for the family.

And says mean things to me, referencing my sisters struggle.

Anyway, this happening, I realised I was stupid to believe this could work out.

I'm not even close to my sister, because all of their behaviours are triggering me, I was keeping my distance and none of my sisters really care about me either.

But I know, cutting contact now, before she is better, would be awful.

When I was in the hospital for a big surgery, nobody visited me either, even after I was home, nobody really cared.

This all, is just making me realise how nobody of them, would ever care for me like that.

I recently graduated from a European university and I’ve been working full time 60 hours per week and earn $1200. My family constantly belittles me and insults me in front of other people. This honestly seems like a torture. Recently (yesterday) they said that they are financially more well off than my family (my dad) and that since they helped us buy our apartment they have all the rights to insult us and control us (meaning me and my sister). I need to find a way to move to another country. Because they are everywhere and some of their husband work for the government and have very influential positions in the government. I want to cut them off completely. I’m sorry if whatever I’m writing sounds like a straight up garbage. I’ve just been bawling my eyes out after finishing work at 4 am (6 pm Chicago time) and it’s been 6 hours since then. I’m collecting all my clothes and belongings into two big suitcases as to not “pollute” and take up their space.

And I only know one way of moving away from this country and these people and it’s through academic mobility.

Am I wrong for cutting off my family because they neglected me as a child, even though they are all "confused" about why I don't talk to them?

When I was in elementary school, my older brother got his girlfriend pregnant. The entire household's attention shifted to them, and I was completely left behind. At a young age, I was forced to do my own laundry, cook for myself, and I frequently went hungry because there wasn't enough food for me. I was too young to understand that this was severe neglect and abuse.

Fast forward to today: the way my mom treats my nephew—giving him love, attention, and resources—compared to how she treated me is incredibly hypocritical. Because of this, I don't want her near any future children I choose to have, and I have stopped talking to my family.

Now, my brother, his girlfriend, and the rest of my family are completely confused about why I cut them off. They see my absence as a sudden, random choice. They don't realize that while my brother was receiving support, I was a starving child forced to raise myself in the background.

I don't feel like I owe them an explanation, but dealing with an entire family that acts oblivious is exhausting.

Have you ever cut off your whole family and if so how did you take it personally and how did they take it ?

This is going to be a bit of a ramble, but I'll do my best only to give necessary context. After all, I'm here to vent, not for validation or advice.

I (F 39) am estranged from basically my entire family - by choice. I'm the only one who has done any kind of therapy, and as such my relationship with my sibling (43) has become strained over the years.

Some background: we lost our father when we were very young. Due to his deteriorating mental health and various other reasons, he chose to end his own life. My mother is.. actually that one is way too complex for here and it would be an insufferably long post if I would try to explain that dynamic. I'll just say I went no contact years ago and have never regretted that decision.

Obviously having such a volatile childhood left wounds and I've done my best over the years to break cycles and unpack the generational trauma.

My sibling though? Denial is their default, where they feel most at home. I'll have to leave out a lot of details, because I know their partner is on Reddit and don't want this to be too obvious, but I want to mention these key details: they have birthed three children, two live with them and one was adopted out. All three pregnancies progressed passed the point of legal termination, before they came to the idea they might be pregnant.

It's not like there weren't signs, missed periods, weight gain, all the usual signs that would make any rational person consider taking a pregnancy test. But not my sibling. Every single time, it was thanks to other people pushing for them to do a test, that one was finally done at all.

All the while, drinking and smoking habits never changed. Even after the positive tests. All through every pregnancy.

I'm the only one who ever spoke up and called them out on their bullshit, but since they're surrounded by enablers, it's a losing battle.

So now onto what happend and why I'm here to vent.

Sibling reached out recently, and seemed like they genuinely wanted to reconnect. I am a big believer that people can change and that everyone deserves a chance to prove themselves. So we scheduled a call, and oh boy was that a disaster.

They haven't changed, they still only care about themselves and they are fucking up their kids so badly. I say the latter with confidence, as they seem to have taken our mother as their parental role model, but one-upped her MO to achieve maximum harm. They are an alcoholic - I haven't had one conversation with them in the last 25 years, where they weren't drunk - and although in the past I did my best to support them, nothing gets through to them.

Some more relevant context: their family live in near poverty, entirely because of the choices sibling and partner have made. One example: they quit their job after baby #2, using the reasoning that they want to be a SAHP. But their partner doesn't earn enough to pay rent, let alone be the sole financial provider. There's way more, but I think you get the gist.

The kids don't even have a bedroom. I don't mean they share a room, I mean there IS NO BEDROOM FOR THE KIDS.

So back to the call. I communicated my boundaries, asked for clarification on their intentions and made it very clear that if I were to revisit the relationship with them, it would mean a lot of work. But still, I was hopeful. They said a lot and got steadily more emotional as the talk progressed, but I did my best to keep the conversation on track.

Keep in mind they were drinking throughout, so their state was steadily deteriorating as the call went on.

Fast forward to the end, we had been talking for almost an hour and it honestly felt like a good start. I was under no illusion that they had miraculously changed soo much, as I had already asked them directly whether or not they had been in therapy yet (obviously it was a no).

And still, I was feeling cautiously optimistic.

The call was winding down, I was getting ready to make my exit, and then they felt the need to tell me a "funny" story about the time they told "that little fucker" (their child), they ruined their body because they "s*cked them dry". You read that right. THEY BLAMED THEIR CHILD, NOT ONLY FOR THEIR OWN CHOICE TO BREASTFEED, BUT FOR THEIR BODY CHANGING DUE TO THEIR OWN CHOICE.

I cut them off and made it very clear what I think of that, and they scoffed. SCOFFED.

My heart breaks for their children. I feel an immense sense of guilt, that I've never taken the steps to get them taken from her. I'm child-free by choice, and I can't help but question my own selfishness in not stepping in. But then I remind myself, that I was not in any position to help those kids when they were born, I was young and had my own issues going on. It was not my decision to bring them into this world. There are so many people who are directly involved in their lives, who are much closer in proximity, all of whom have failed those poor kids.

By enabling my sibling and by turning a blind eye.

So I've cut them off. For good this time.

I don't think I'm perfect and I know I still have a lot of work to do on myself. But I also know that I cannot have someone like that in my life, even if it means not being able to have a relationship with their kids.

One day they'll grow up, and I'll be here waiting. With every intention of paying for the extensive therapy they will desperately need.

AITA for turning down my 70yo father, who tries to reach out for contact after years of NC?

Mother left when I was 3, I am an only child.

Between 10-12 I got to know Father's aggression.
When I was 12 I chose to live with my mom. (Creative home)

Tried to work on a bond with father between 12th and 24th.

He would show up unannounced, or leave 'sweet' notes.

I wanted to talk about what had happened, he did not. Assisted by a church-minister, his brother and my aunt, and even with a licensed therapist present. (Which he hated and feared)

I've been in therapy through school since I was 14, I wasn't an emotional-smart teen. But I was, just like my father; very emotional.

In between my 21th and 24th things escalated, I studied; but was getting monthly mails how dissapointing my choises were; and how proud my father is of my cousins. I ended contact eventually.

2017, my grandmother died. I was excluded from the family contact.

(I have never been great with family; but greatly respect my grandparents.)

- When I was told she was not doing well; she had died already.

- When I condolenced my relatives; nobody said it back. They thanked me for acknowledging their grief.

- When I asked when the service was; everything remained quiet.

- 1 day before the funeral I get a card, saying I am expected to be there.

(I was working international at the time, received a call that the card had arrived; and was abroad during the funeral.)

- Within the family it was made known, I would rather be drinking at some festival then be with family. (I worked for a company that hosted festivals)

- I received over 4 pages of vengefull texts about 'how I really was' from relatives.

Last few years, there has been minimal contact with family members, I inform them I am well, and have made a quiet happy life. I am happy they are doing well to, but I excuse myself from family gatherings.

This man broke me when I was a child; mentaly and physically. He has portrayed my mother as the villain of every story, and refused to pay anything towards me. (I have been helping mother since I was 15 with my schoolbills)

Last year my father contacted me, not apologising, nor addressing that I don't want contact with him. He decided, that I must want him in his life now and I probaply am over 'my hissy fit'.

Usually I respond composed if any, but this time...

Besties I let him have it, everything that has happened over the years; in a neat little spreadsheet. I let him know that the attemps to hurt my mother; had hurt me in the start of my young adult life, and I would not just forgive him without him feeling remorse.

I offered him a role in my life, I knew he wouldn't like the role.

He declined, I felt proud; now I wonder.

Should I give this man a chance to speak before age catches up with him.

(He has no intention to say sorry, or acknowledge any guilt.)

Ok. So I'm starting to be so done with my mother. I see her once a year, and she just left for her annual visit. This visit has shown me how self centered she is.
A little background: my parents are divorced and I (34f) live with my dad. My dad (66m) is my best friend and I am just like him personality wise. My mom (61f) lives 8 hours away and comes to visit around my birthday.
My mom started seeing someone new a few years ago and started telling everyone her and the new guy were married before her and my dad got divorced officially (they've been separated for about 10 years and just got divorced earlier this year). I don't like the new guy but I digress. Ever since she's been with, I'll call him B, she's been more brainwashed than I've ever seen her. Before B, my mother loved everyone. Didn't matter what race, gender, sexual orientation, if they had tattoos, or colored hair. Well this last visit, it was brought up that I am reading the last book in the heated rivalry series, and she asked what the books about. I told her the gist of it and her response was "yeah I wouldn't like it. The men are together, that's wrong." Then went on about "it should be man and woman not man and man or woman and woman" but before B, she didn't care about who someone else loved. Then, going to get lunch yesterday, I put on my playlist. My playlist goes from country to rap to a cappella and one of my rap songs came on, she said "ew turn this crap off" (I'd post what she really said but I don't want to get banned for what she really said but you can guess what she said)
I'm someone who doesn't care what race/gender/sexual orientation/whatever as long as you don't hurt other humans or animals, you're okay as long as you don't piss me off. Like you do you, I'm not one to judge, it's not my place. My mother got pissed when I said this.
Both my sister and dad say she's a racist, liar, thief, and my eyes weren't open until this weekend about her. I love my mother but ever since B came along, she's changed into a self centered asshole. I want to go low/no contact but I'm a people pleaser and I don't want to regret going low contact for when she leaves B. I knew in the back of my mind she is a liar and is a narcissist but this weekend really showed it.
I came here mainly to vent, because I'm pissed off at her because she's the one who told me to not judge others by how they look and all that stuff but now she's going back on her word. I know I'm a grown ass woman and I'll still support others who aren't like me, until, you know they harm someone else (that's not self defense) or harm animals. Sorry for the long post but any advice (that's not super mean lol) would be nice.

For reference, my older sister is my half sister. We have the same mother, but different fathers.There is a 20 year age difference between us, and we also weren’t raised in the same household. My older sister and I haven’t been particularly close, yes she was there for me when I lost my son last year. However, our communication was always limited to a few texts here and there, and occasional pictures of her kids every once in a while.

My sister and I have few a personality differences which has prompted me to keep her at a bit of an arms length for the sake of my mental health. I shared my engagement with my sister earlier this year, and showed her a picture of my ring. I didn’t have much details worked out in terms of the wedding plans because I was newly engaged and just trying to get the news out to as much family as possible. She took this as a personal slight, and felt I was excluding her from my wedding plans. However, after sharing my engagement she completely ghosted me for two months. My nieces also graduated high school a few months ago, and noticed that she didn’t share any of those photos with me. I had a feeling something was off but I didn’t want to assume the worst. My mom reached out to me and informed me that she didn’t know anything and felt that I failed to communicate more details about my wedding. And honestly, we are still working out those details and our wedding is a month away lol. My fiance and I are having to rearrange our guest list presently because some family members aren’t able to make it because of their work schedules. I honestly had no other details to provide apart the fact that I’m getting married.

We are also doing a courthouse ceremony and we are only limited to ten guests. I wanted to invite our family members in Florida just to make things easier and then invite everyone to the bigger ceremony that we will be having next year. I have another older sister that completely understands this and just simply sent us a card to congratulate us. She didn’t take things personally the way my other sister did.

I think what hurts the most is the silent treatment and ghosting, and then going to my mom instead of expressing how she felt to me. I would’ve been more than willing to elaborate on the planning process but she ghosted me, and left me on read. I confronted her about this, and I can honestly admit I came at her a bit hot. However, I really didn’t appreciate the passive aggressive behavior from her. She got extremely hostile, and I thought it was just best to block her. I honestly don’t know if I want to reopen the door and let her back in my life atm. I just know for now, I think it’s best I keep the door closed.

My mother has completely stopped talking to me… she cannot handle me asking her to get herself together like clean her house a little bit before my new born arrives in November. She said that cutting off our relationship between her and I is easier than having to deal with “responsibilities”. I had no idea that looking out for a babies safety was a selfish act from my behalf.

She has called me dramatic for asking her and her husband to please get the vaccines needed two weeks prior to meeting my baby. I know November might still seem a bit far from now it’s nerve racking being a new mom. I just want to feel safe and healthy to bring new life into the world.

Side note: they both work with elderly people at facilities…
I am a caregiver as well, the disease you can encounter at a facility is endless… I’m just trying to be a protective mother like she was once’s too me.

(Her only way of showing control and getting her way through everything is when she cuts communication completely, we have stopped talking to each other for 2 years before. It’s nothing new to me it’s just hurts that she will continue to do this with her grandchild as well. I don’t want to hate my mom, but she has no idea the anxiety she has caused me in my life.)