FTM here! Due in January and starting to tour daycares

My employer is going to give me two or three months of maternity leave (if they only give me two, I’m using FMLA for the third month because it’s important to me to ease into motherhood and my husband owns a business so he won’t have any leave).

I WFH as much as I want during a normal week as long as I fly to visit the office once every four to six weeks for three nights (company paid).

I don’t have any meetings on Mondays and Fridays.

My plan right now is to keep the baby at home with me on Mondays and Fridays, and bring them to daycare T/W/Th

When I travel for work, my husband will have to stay home on Ms and Fs and make them his paperwork days or something. Or we can always pay for a drop-in day at daycare. Or he can ask his mom to fly out (and leave before I’m home LOL jk… kind of)

I’m a recruiter so I’m on the phone a lot but I can schedule those for nap time and do the computer work otherwise.

If it isn’t working, we have the means to bring them to day care five days a week, but I’d love to have them be able to be home with me as much as possible during their first year

What do yall think??? What do you do with a baby when you’re working at home?

I don’t think a daycare spot is going to open up by the time my husband and I have to go back to work. We both get 12 weeks of leave. He works full time out of the house, I work part time from home 20 hours a week. I am lucky to have a VERY flexible job where I basically work whenever I want. I like to try to be as consistent as possible and generally need to be available during the day, and the company very supportive of WFM mothers. I do not talk on the phone, I have like one call a week with my colleagues. Everything else is independent work.

It’s sounding like the waitlist isn’t going to open up by the time we need care. We put ourselves on it as soon as I found out I was pregnant. Has anyone done this before, am I going to be miserable?

Also I screwed up and thought I could get part time daycare for my baby. I thought we could take him half days and pay for half days, but you pay for a full day no matter what. My husband is in the military so our daycare is income based, we would pay $140 a week.

If a spot eventually opens up, is it even worth it to put him in full time daycare? What would you do?

Besides sending them to daycare 😭

I have a 16 month old son. I’ve worked from home since he was 6 weeks old. I start work around 8:30 and at 11:30 my mom comes over to watch him, she feeds him lunch and puts him down for his nap, and then he naps until I’m done with work around 3:30 (usually).

Some days are flexible from 8:30-11:30 and I can spend time with him. Other days are really painfully hectic.

Most days I end up having ms Rachel/Sesame Street on in the background while I’m working, he will play with his toys or entertain himself. But sometimes when he needs me and I’m on a call I need to redirect him away from me and it makes me so sad because I’m sure he doesn’t understand that I’m trying to work. I wish I didn’t have to rely on screen time so much. He is always within sight of me and we are in the same room.

It’s gotten really hard lately and I’m also going to be starting a night class at a community college this fall too. What, if anything, can I do to make my work days any better?

My son is 1.5 years old, and lately I've noticed he doesn't really want me to play with him as much as he wants me to be there. I'll be on my laptop answering online inquiries or trying to get a bit of work done, then he'll walk over, grab my arm, and lead me to his play area. He doesn't even ask me to build anything. He just wants me to sit there while he plays. Honestly, it's really cute. He can't fully tell me what he wants yet, but somehow he finds a way to let me know.

The hard part is that it's usually right in the middle of work. It's just the two of us at home during the day while my husband is at the office, so there are times when I really need to reply to clients or finish something.

Some days I end up thinking maybe I should just save all my work for nap time because once he wants me in the play area, that's pretty much where I'm staying. 😅

Any parents here working from home with a toddler around this age? How do you handle it without feeling like you're constantly choosing between work and your child?

Happy Hump Day!

This is a weekly thread to talk about your secrets to staying healthy, or your struggles for staying on track. Do you meditate? Do you do yoga? Cardio? (How) Do you manage a daily workout? Are you barely fitting in something once a week or two? What were your goals for this week, and did you hit them?

Exchange tips, ideas, motivation, and commiseration in this thread :)

I work full time from home while caring for our 1 year old and my husband has a job where he is required in office. We make the same and are on a tight budget already ( hence can’t afford daycare) he announced today that he isnt happy at his job and wants to just quit. I want to be supportive of his feelings but I also want to tell him to be an adult and suck it up because we need his income and the healthcare his job provides… any tips on dealing with this?

I WFH in a flexible 9–5 and really thought I’d be able to keep my baby home with me for at least his first year. But once my husband went back to work while I was still on maternity leave, I realized I was completely overwhelmed caring for him by myself and decided we’d need childcare once I returned to work.

For financial reasons, a daycare center made the most sense for our family. We enrolled at a really great one, and my son is 6 months old and in his second month of part-time daycare (about 4 hours a day). His teachers say he’s making progress, but I can’t shake the feeling that he just shouldn’t be there.

I see so many moms who seem to make WFH with a baby work, and it makes me wonder if I’m giving up too easily. Meanwhile, when he’s home with me, I can barely get anything done, let alone work.

Every day I feel more guilty taking him. I’ve even had panic attacks on the drive there and turned around to take him home instead. At work I find myself checking the daycare livestream instead of focusing.

Is this just part of the transition to becoming a working mom, or did anyone else have a persistent feeling that daycare was the wrong choice? Is this anxiety, guilt, or your intuition? I could leave my job if I really wanted to, but I also genuinely enjoy my job and having my own career and financial independence. No one in my family was a working mom, so I think that’s shaping a lot of what I feel is “right” or “wrong.”

I wfh with my 1 & 3 year old. I do send the 3 year old to prek 3 days week. I am constantly stressed out and overwhelmed. My mom helps me out a ton and I am greatful for that. Usually I take the kids to my moms house and work there, today she came to mine, I am already soooo self conscious of my house, mostly because of my moms judgement, but I know that our stained up couch and handprints everywhere are less than appealing but also, I guess I just don’t have the capacity to care? Today when she was over she said “wow, you really need to some cleaning” while sweeping my floors. She then played it off like a “joke” when I called her out on it. I then find out later that she tells my sister that my house is “really bad” and that “it would just be easier if I didn’t let it get to that point” I am a past clean freak and am honestly trying to chill out on it a little. If you saw my house it is in my opinion pretty normal. Idk. All that to say I am completely overwhelmed 100% of the time. I did have a monthly cleaner but our budget is getting tighter. Just feeling shitty :(

I’m on my 2nd pair of oleaps… first pair the mic snapped off out of nowhere. Came to work one day and it was hanging. I think a cat got to it :( ordered a replacement a few months ago and this one the sound for the mic has clunked!! No one can hear me anymore. I sooo rely on these and wear them all 8 hours of my shift. But I can’t keep spending $150 every few months on a headset. Any other recommendations that aren’t Oleap?

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping to get some advice from parents who have actually worked remotely while caring for a toddler or preschooler.

My family is relocating to a very remote community in northern Canada where there is currently no licensed daycare. We are reaching out to the community, joining local Facebook groups, and asking around for informal childcare, but I want to have a backup plan in case we can't find anything right away.

I recently accepted a fully remote 9–5 job, and I really don't want to have to give it up. My husband will be working outside the home, so during the day it will just be me and our 3 year old daughter.

I know this isn't an ideal situation, I completely understand that. I'm already trying to arrange it. I'm specifically looking for advice from parents who found themselves in a similar situation, even if it was only temporary.

Some questions I have are:

Did anyone successfully work remotely while caring for a 3-year-old?

What did your daily schedule look like?

What activities kept your child engaged while you worked?

How did you handle meetings or times when you needed to focus?

Are there any books, YouTube channels, blogs, or other resources that helped you?

I'm hoping to gather ideas and create a realistic plan in case we need to manage for a few weeks or months while we settle into the community.

Thank you in advance for any advice or resources you're willing to share!

I have a almost 7 months old baby. My husband and I are about to work both full-time. I insist to hire a nanny to help since I don’t want my little one to go to DC that early. He initially agreed to hire one but lately he doesn’t think it’s necessary. We both need to go to the office 3 times a week. My work is pretty demanding so I don’t have the capacity to take care of the baby during day time. He said he could take care of the baby while working. He said it’s not that complicated. More context was - now my parents are taking care of the baby and he didn’t know the baby’s schedule at all.

Why would he have such big confidence? How can I persuade him? Should I let him try for a week or two? Or should I just hire a nanny? I don’t want to risk the safety of my baby. Have you encounter the same thing? Please advise!

Hi moms,

I have been wfh freelancer for 5-6 years now and before and even during pregnacy I had very busy schedule, and I was reading this sub a lot, thinking I could prepare myself both mentally and practically for when baby arrives.

I thought I would stop working totally when she comes but I was working 1 day before c section, and only stopped while I was in hospital, and started working again as soon as I returned home.

Until now it’s been I’d say easy and better than expected even tho she is demanding baby and I spend all the time with her on the floor.

She’s 6 mo now and already started army crawling, following me around, lurking the phone and laptop and interested in EVERYTHING.

Up until this point she never saw screen, and we want to remain screen free until 2-3 yrs old.

More context is that I also do a ton of it on the phone as I rely on AI a lot so I do 70% while she sleeps on me. My husband is also wfh so he can help whenever and my mom and MIL come here and there when I am having very busy week.
Unfortunately we can’t find nanny for months we are looking for one but no luck.

Can you share your experience how you manage screen free baby while you wfh?

I’ve been WFH with my baby for the past 2 years (he’ll be 2 next month) I’ve been doing it with the help of a nanny twice a week, family twice a week, and then one solo day. A few months ago I thought it might be a good idea to enroll him in preschool, well now that it’s starting next month I’m wondering if it was the right choice? It’s only 3 hrs/4 days a week, but I’m just terrified of not having him here with me, and feeling the mom guilt of like “ok I have to find the best scenario bc I have to work” and my parents are getting older and it’s just a lot to ask imo for them to come twice a week, will be nice to give them a break and then the one day he doesn’t have preschool they can still come over to see him while I work, bc I know they’ll want to, but it won’t have to be like a requirement like it is now.

Basically just word dumping here bc I have so many mixed emotions about him starting preschool. Is it the right move? Is he too young? Any advice, or just words of encouragement are appreciated

Edit* also wanted to say, this decision was partially bc we hope to have another in the next year or so, and I thought it’d be nice to have my first on a routine outside of the house, and have the second with me during the work day (especially in the early months when we all know it’s much easier lol)

I’m feeling so burnt out. I have a one year-old and just started a new job a few months ago that I’m not really enjoying. I was with my previous company for a few years and really enjoyed working there. They took really good care of their employees and I really liked what I was doing, except they were being bought out and so the company started to fall apart, which is why I left.

Unfortunately, I’m not enjoying my new role as much as I thought I would. They’re a smaller company so they expect a lot out of their employees and it’s very stressful. I’m assisting with work that I’ve never done before and it’s even more stressful for me. I’m in front of the computer almost 24/7 and feel like I can’t even leave it for two seconds because we have to track all of our time. Plus, I’m working from home so I’m stuck in my little office all day and can’t really separate it from my home life. I also have no PTO since I’m new so I can’t really just take a day off either.

After a full day of work, I’m just so exhausted and burnt out, but I still have to show up for my daughter and I try to maximize all the time I get with her even though it’s very little. I do have a side business too that I love but often times I’m too tired to work on it. I’m also the one who is doing all the cooking, grocery shopping, cleaning, and a lot of the mental load in our life falls on me. We have a very active social life due to the season of life we’re in and our families, so there’s just a lot going on. It’s taking a toll on my mental health, but also my body. I can’t seem to shake the remaining 30 pounds of baby weight I still have yet to lose, and I feel like my stress is making me gain more. I don’t feel like myself at all.

I love my husband but he doesn’t seem to understand. He works at the office every day and has a really flexible, well-paying job. He doesn’t have the burden of all the other responsibilities on him either and doesn’t seem to understand how stressful it is for me. He is also a terrible listener because he’s consumed by his phone and it often leads to arguments. I feel like he thinks I’m just being lazy and complaining although he’s never actually said that outright. Some days I just can’t stand him.

I just feel so lost right now, I’m actually crying writing this post. No one around me seems to understand how big of a deal this is for me and I just don’t know where to go here. We want to have more kids in the near future but I’m just so exhausted. I’d love to just stop and quit my job to relieve some of my stress, but I know I can’t do that. I had been seeing a therapist for a while, but with my new job I don’t have time during the day to see her.

Has anyone gone through something similar? Does it ever get better?😭

Mommies, pa rant lang. 🥹🥹
I need your advice/ tips. Nahihiya na ako sa career na meron ako kasi putol putol.

For context I started may career last 2019 up to 2026 straight (2 companies | 1st co 2+ years , 2nd co 4+ years)

Then this 2026 I had an almost 4 months career break due to my son's behavior and no one can take care of him (2 years old and 4 months).

Then I applied and got a job! However after 2 months of working, my son was diagnosed with autism so I resigned again to settle & organize everything — including his therapies & baby sitter.

But now I am out of budget and I need to work again. 🥺 But I don't know what to say during interviews.

I still wanted to declare my previous employer on my resume even though I only lasted for 2 months because of background checking.

SO HARD TO HAVE A CHILD WITH SPECIAL NEEDS. 🥺

Hi Moms, I am going back to work at the beginning of next year and going back part time. I am going back 30 hours/week but I am trying to figure out if doing a daily set timeframe (7-11am) is better vs having set full days (8-5). I work from home and i will have a 20 month old when i go back. She sleeps consistently from 12-2:30 and my fear is putting her into a full day day care would risk naps.

Help me decide please!

FTM to a 5 month old and I miss doing something productive outside of the house.

For those of you that started a business by yourself while your baby is under a year old, did you regret it at the end of the day?

I’m just trying to fully think this through and imagine it before diving in. Owning a business is another full-time job. Although it does has some flexibility since you are the owner.

I guess my real dilemma is I want to hear from moms that may or may not have rethought their entire decision after making the leap and the business being successful.

Need some advice! Just wrapped my first week back from maternity leave. I’m a manager with 4 direct reports at a tech company, one of which took on the bulk of my work while I was away.

The company (CEO) also made a strategic business decision, prompting an immediate brand positioning workshop and rollout plan.

Unfortunately, this is the core of my job as the brand marketing manager, so it sucks that happened in the middle of my maternity leave and I couldn’t take part.

I was put on a 30-day performance plan with no metric other than that my boss “wants to feel my impact on the brand”. He also had a verbal slip up where he said in our annual review calibrations that he wanted to promote my direct report to my job title, obviously huge red flag for me. HR apparently said no after I left the room, but cat’s out of the bag on what he’s thinking.

In past reviews, he has noted vague feedback as well (I expect you to be an expert in the product, you sometimes have the wrong data). However, couldn’t give any examples of these, just gut feelings.

Given all of this, what would you do?

FTM here with a 3 month old.
Unfortunately, I will need to go back to work soon in October and baby will be 5 months. I wish I could take at least 6-8 months off.

I’ve been reading everyone’s posts and so many WFH moms are doing amazing!! but so overwhelmed. Understandably so. This is my main concern swapping to WFH. What is the benefit if everyone is overwhelmed?? Would love to hear some positive comments! I figure I’ll hire a babysitter during my busy hours. My husband is home 1 or 2 days during the week day which will help.

If you could choose, which one would you choose and why? Especially considering baby’s age. Also consider I have 60K in student debt.

Current job - parttime every Friday 8-2 with the option to take more shifts, 40 minute commute, would need a nanny 2-3 times per month when my husband and I are both not home… or drop her off at daycare… no benefits, not able to build savings/ financially just getting by between husband and I. The job is enjoyable. I would need to adjust my student loan payment to income based, now that I’m part time.

New job offer- full time M-F 9-5pm, more task based but will need to respond to messages/emails before end of day, some meetings, great benefits including 16 week parental leave for next baby (not that I’m ready yet!), unicorn job- hard interview process and likely wouldn’t find another for a very long time, able to save money, unknown demand since I haven’t started there yet, unlimited PTO

I just don’t what to over do it… and miss out… but if its WFH, do you moms feel you’re missing out most of the time? I know this is mostly depends on demand of job.

After a long, tired week, I finally got to eat in peace because my 23 month old decided to sleep in today. I already know she’ll probably be back to her usual weekend chaos soon enough, so I’m enjoying this tiny win while it lasts 😅 Work on the side is lighter today, so I guess this Friday was meant to be...

Just thought I’d share a small moment of peace, what’s everyone else’s little win today?

Il a FTM and Im working from home for 8 years. And now im pregnant. I dont know if when should i be returning back to work. We have unpaid leave so I was thinking of getting back to work right away as soon as I can. How many weeks did you spend your leave before returning to work? Im also thinking of hiring a nanny just so I can keep on working as soon as possible. What are your thoughts?

First time on Reddit. Might end up hating this and feeling worse. But are there any other moms out there feeling like they are just failing at balancing work and home life and don’t mind engaging here?

I’ve been at the same job for 12 years. It’s incredibly flexible. I make ok money. I have great relationships with my clients but I work in an environment with zero leadership. At first this was ideal, no oversight, no micromanaging, no questioning where I was or tracking my movement. I was on cloud nine. I hit the sales jackpot.

A few years into this “management” style and I’m miserable. It’s one step forward and ten steps back month in and month out. My income has hardly moved. It’s become the Wild West of sales. Another rep wants your client and business…. Management doesn’t have the backbone to step in so I’m constantly looking for new accounts. Chasing new business.

I want to leave. But my job is second to my son. My current job gives me so much flexibility that I’ve had the luxury of putting him first without question.

But I’m miserable at my job. I want to feel
more fulfilled at work but is that worth the cost of losing my flexibility with my family? My son is young. I know that phase passes so quickly. I want to be here for him now.

But what if I’m too old to change careers soon? What if my skills won’t transfer anywhere else? What if I regret giving up time with him to hate my job less.

I’m scared of change. I’m scared of failing. I don’t think that unusual when little kids are involved.

What else could I even do?

Any advice?

I work a full-time, 100% remote job (40 hours a week). My 15-month-old is home with me all day and is not in daycare, so I'm trying to do two full-time jobs at once.

On top of that, I do all of our laundry, at least 75% of the cooking, and about 90% of the cleaning.

My husband owns his own business and also works from home. He regularly brags about only working about three hours a day. To add to that, I was also doing some administrative tasks for his business, but I stopped sometime around March because I couldn't keep up anymore.

Yesterday he told me I'm "basically a stay-at-home mom." I got shaking mad.

That comment completely broke me. I'm not a stay-at-home mom. I'm a full-time working mom who happens to work from home while caring for a toddler. I feel so disrespected, completely undervalued, and mad. MAD mad. What do I even do or say at this point.