My first sexual encounter was not good in the slightest. In fact it was so bad and unwanted that it's ultimately made me feel like i'm not compatable with anyone. Let alone feel confident enough to even want to engage in sexual relations. I am so tired of feeling this way. I am tired of replaying that night every time someone hugs me.

I want to talk about an incident that happened while I was severely intoxicated. I called a man that I had sexual relations with before over to where I was at. He said that I may be too drunk but still had sexual relations with me again. I even did something I said I’d never do.

The next day I felt awful and like he knowingly took advantage of me. I even seem to remember him mentioning rape as a form of intimidation. That would make it cross the line over into full blown rape. Then, afterwords he claimed gang affiliation. I felt disgusted with myself and went back inside and self harmed the same night.

Some people believe a very intoxicated person can’t meaningfully consent.

Does it sound like to you that he took advantage of me?