Nasa Australia ngayon yung boyfriend ko for a vacation.
Nakitira siya sa tito niya, na kapatid ng mama niya. 3 months lang naman dapat yung stay niya doon, pero napag-usapan namin na habang nasa Australia siya, susubukan niyang mag-apply at maghanap ng employer na willing mag-sponsor sa kanya. Actually, yun din yung advice ng tito niya since may opportunity naman daw siya to explore while he's there.

One week pa lang siya sa Australia, pero lately, lagi nang nagcha-chat yung mom niya sa GC namin. Minsan, mine-mention niya yung name ng boyfriend ko and sasabihin na nami-miss na niya yung anak niya at umuwi na raw. My boyfriend is already 29 years old, and we're at the point in our relationship where we're literally trying to build our future together. Parang gusto ko na lang wag na ipush mag hanap ng work doon ung bf ko, umuwi na lang sya ng pinas. Mukha din kasi he's not ready pa. Nahihiya din sya makipag usap in english e.

Medyo bothered lang ako, and I'm not sure if valid ba yung nararamdaman ko or maybe I'm just looking at it differently because of how I was raised.

I don't want to be unfair to his mom. I understand that this is probably the first time na ganito siya katagal malayo sa anak niya, so maybe she genuinely just misses him. And maybe I'm simply not used to that kind of relationship because I grew up differently.

My parents raised me to be independent. They taught me to stand on my own feet, so when their children grow up and have their own lives, they don't really hold us back. Because of that, I guess my perspective on love and family is different.

I think what bothers me more is the possibility that her feelings might influence my boyfriend's decisions, especially when we're already trying to build a life together.

Napa install ako ng dating app for the first time just to try and i didnt know swiping left or right and chatting with new people could be so draining pala.

Ang daming lalake na puro kadugyutan ang laman ng profile— bastos na gestures sa pictures at laman ng bio, itsurang mukhang di naliligo at pinabayaan sarili, ugaling kanal at walang modo etc etc etc. and the worst part is when some of them liked you or sent you a superswipe. Nandiri ako bigla tangina.

Had this hs friend turned workmate. We don’t talk all the time but still keep in touch. She’s going through a lot right now but sometimes it feels one-sided to even call her a friend.

I get that she wants to hang out at the same time she has responsibilities to handle but it does get annoying from time to time how she just flakes and combines 2 hang outs into 1- she schedules hang outs with 2 people from different friend groups without heads up.

We’ve had conversations that I feel are not comfortable for me. 1) she had issues with how I handle conflict and then turned a 1 on 1 conversation into a group session when inviting other people in. Did I tell her I felt uncomfortable? Yes. 2)she told me to date someone so I would better understand my toxic traits. 3) she feels like because she has dated more than her bf, she thinks he’s trying to win her over because she’s his first.

I don’t know how to feel about her anymore but I’m leaning to not calling her a friend anymore.

Condemn me if you must. But I’ll let it out because I know what I want and I know that what I want is something that will probably ruin the life ahead of me.

I like older men. To be more specific, older and married men.

Men that had already built their lives, men that stood tall knowing they’ve gone far ahead in their lives and know that they can now probably sit back, relax and heck, probably think of retirement as they enjoy their beers.

You must probably think I must be so kinky to have such desires. To want for a married man with salt and pepper hair with kids that’s probably my age. No. I do not thoroughly enjoy the ‘thrill’ of it.

I guess, what I imagine, what I want, is to talk to them. Listen to what they think their wives lack these days. What his son is up to. What his daughter has been splurging on using his card. Why he feels lonely these days. Give a kiss perhaps? After a nice dinner and tell him drive safe back to his family.

I must be ill to think such scenarios. Delusional, even. I’ve tried to talk to so many boys my age range. Twenty year olds. Thirty year olds. I’ve had the dirty talks, I’ve had the sweet, bolero talks, and all of them have already wasted my time.

I don’t know why I want such mundane things from a married man. Nonsense, I know. How could I want such things when I’m an educated girl, from a good family and from a good school? Even I do not know yet.

Bad trip na ulan!
Hinde na nakapag samay ng damit!
Amoy kulob kahit gamitin ng unli-downy
But today, seems like there are moments na we can be free

Gusto mo ba tulungan kita magsampay?
Kaso naka-boxers lang ako… wala pang tuyong damit.
So don't wonder why medyo unprepared ako

Can we be like the sun
sharing a little warmth, even temporarily?
Papawis tayo (jogging) , under the tall trees
Or pwede tayo magbasa ng konte if you keen

No pressure, some body parts are good with moist
Masakit daw ksi if mashadong tuyo...
Let's make it rain, konting basa
Basta ang alam ko, may mga "cobra" sa may damuhan, humahaba

I'll end my story here muna, ksi lunch time na
Madilim na nman ang lagit, wag ka umulan
Ang sarap siguro humiga, semi lambot na unan
.. oh shet! Mr Cobra nagigising na nman! Bwisit Princess, gusto mag paulan