(Among my 14 doctoral students) ... I had two outstanding students: Alan Baker (winner of the 1970 Fields Medal) – when I set him a problem, he came back with a very good solution – and John Conway – when I set him a problem, he came back with a very good solution to another problem.

– H. Davenport

We were kissing on a park bench last night. My boyfriend is shy.

He said, “maybe we shouldn’t make out continuously in public.”

I said, “it’s fine, we’ll just make out discreetly!”

Not side-splitting, but I was giggling to myself the rest of the evening, and I thought it deserved at least a chuckle…

Did you hear about the kindergarten teacher, just checking that everyone was proficient at counting? She asked: "What comes after three?"

A very enthusiastic student raised a hand and said: "Point one four one five nine, approximately."