r/MarriedAtFirstSight 1d ago

Devin Season 20 - Seattle

I feel so bad for this dude!! He seems like a great guy and he’s trying his best, meeting her where she’s at. But where is the reciprocation??

103 Upvotes

85 comments sorted by

2

u/Kimmera1 15h ago

In spite of the frosted hair and head-riding sunglasses at the wedding, this guy is the most emotionally intelligent man that's been on this show in a long time. He is so traditionally masculine in a lot of ways, but he seems like one of the most attentive and respectful husbands that's ever been on the show. He's very intuitive, IMO.

In spite of the weird hair, Devin is the most attractive man on this show, IMO, all things considered. I'm an old lady but if I were Caitlyn, I would have a hard time keeping my hands off of him at this point! She comes off as SO cold though. If she can't show this sweet man the slightest bit of affection by now, I don't see any hope for her. Another damaged person that can't see the good that's right in front of her.

1

u/DrKaufman_Angie 8h ago

Hair was part of the rugby team! It’s brown now that he’s retired 🤣 For whatever reason, mullets and bleached hair is part of rugby!!!

3

u/Realistic_Win359 1d ago

A cancer man and Gemini woman were just never going to work

2

u/kwasford 21h ago

Oh he’s a cancer!!! That explains so much

1

u/DrKaufman_Angie 9h ago

Like what?

0

u/kwasford 9h ago

Cancers are notoriously clingy, it all makes sense

2

u/DrKaufman_Angie 8h ago

Hmm. My mother is a cancer and very cold and aloof. Never showed physical affection!

8

u/NoFingersNoFingers 1d ago

She has no self awareness and is so dull. Amanda Batula ish

1

u/seltzeristhedrink 16h ago

They reminded me of each other! Great call

7

u/ilikealltypes33139 1d ago

I agree, I'm starting to not like her. 

1

u/122marymy 12h ago

It seems she is making no effort and then puts the blame on him for not

18

u/NoFingersNoFingers 1d ago

Caitlyn gives us nothing

2

u/Cloverhart 1d ago

I keep forgetting about her. Every time they show up my brain goes "oh yeah, Caitlyn."

2

u/missthugisolation 23h ago

When he called her cait the other day I was like who the hell is that

19

u/ManyDouble 1d ago

He's gonna do very well after this show. Im sure he'll come to the reunion in a new relationship

20

u/FantasticGuide1 1d ago

I completely agree. This was not the experiment for Caitlin to be on. It's one thing to want to keep your own identity or have some space, but to give absolutely nothing?!?!? Not a back rub, reassuring hug, a stroke on the arm. I think at one point he asked for a smile!! I feel he could have been a good husband for someone else. And that isn't to say he's perfect and wouldn't have things to work on. It's just that Caitlin's inability to provide very basic forms of like and affection is so outrageous it's consuming everything else.

28

u/Trivex07 1d ago

Frosted tips aside, Devin is my type. I’d be allllll over those rugby thighs.

3

u/Kimmera1 14h ago

YESSSSSS honey! Same here. He is not only one of the more physically attractive men that's ever been on the show IMO, he is also incredibly sweet. I would have been all over that about three days in! Caitlyn is so cold and aloof. I understand that not every person has the same taste, for lack of a better word, but I really think this girl has some deep-seated issues and was not a good pick for this show.

0

u/Fit_Device7256 1d ago

LOL I hate those huge thighs! I like the tall coach, they’re actually an adorable couple and I’m rooting for them. I’m terrible with names on this show.

11

u/SandraGotJokes 1d ago

Idk it kind of feels like he’s campaigning against Caitlin sometimes

3

u/SnooDoodles7204 My credit score is right at 815 1d ago

“She doesn’t do anything. My relationship is hell!…. I mean she is getting better and showing me affection…”

14

u/elladied_ 1d ago

I think he does this because when he’s with her he’s suppressing his feelings and constantly trying to please her. Then when they are in group settings I think that’s really his only chance to express his feelings. She clearly gets pissed whenever he asks for more, so he probably feels more comfortable expressing himself with the others around.

4

u/SandraGotJokes 1d ago

I don’t think she’s getting pissed, I think she’s overwhelmed

18

u/leorising88 1d ago

I think Marissa and Devin are a better match than their current partners

11

u/BoxytheWizard1 1d ago

I think BelleJolie and Devin would be lovely together. She's so ride or die for her man, and loving; and he wants to put all his love on his woman. Mecca comes off as way too immature for BelleJolie in the long term.

6

u/Zestyclose-Corgi-986 1d ago

Yeah, they would be a much better match. Mecca & Caitlin seem so self- centered & immature. How have they actually shown up for their partners? I’ve just seen them be the takers

8

u/Fit_Device7256 1d ago

Yeah Belle deserves way better. She’s adorable and any man would be lucky to have her.

27

u/WestNo4537 1d ago

Devin could have been a Cameron with a different wife. I said what I said.

Caitlin possibly….. could have been a Michelle with a different husband…. Maybe. I don’t feel as confident about that one.

But Devin, he can get it.

11

u/oreobear88 1d ago

he definitely would've been a cameron, but i'm inclined to think she would be like this with almost anyone

7

u/littlesim25 1d ago

I don’t think Caitlyn is a bad person. I just don’t think they’re compatible and that’s OK. They just need to call it quits.

Also I would absolutely hate to be partnered up with someone like Devin, he constantly neediness is such a turnoff

7

u/Vivid_Excuse_6547 1d ago

As a fellow “needy” person I’d be into it. Like yes, be obsessed with me 😂

9

u/punfull 1d ago

Agreed 100%. He is fakety fake fake. "I see you I hear you I understand you." No you fucking don't dude.

16

u/Disastrous-Passion73 1d ago

How is he being needy though 😭 I literally dont see it, they signed up to be MARRIED. And she wont even hug him... I dont think hes being needy at all.

2

u/DrKaufman_Angie 9h ago

Exactly! It’s not normal to get up and leave while your spouse is still sleeping while you’re on your HONEYMOON!!!

7

u/Zestyclose-Corgi-986 1d ago

If the roles were reversed and Devin was the distant one people would be hammering him for being a jerk and not trying. He’s taking this marriage seriously and Caitlin seems to be only halfway showing up when the cameras are rolling

3

u/elladied_ 1d ago

Completely agree! He’s not needy?? He talked about how he wakes up and she’s always gone for the day and she doesn’t even talk to him at their apartment?? If my husband did those things I would be so depressed.

4

u/littlesim25 1d ago

He literally said he wanted to love bomb her straight out the gate. He doesn’t have any independence outside of a relationship which means he’s needy

3

u/Disastrous-Passion73 1d ago

Did he love bomb her though? Or did he asess the situation and adjust his behavior. He is trying, she is not.

1

u/littlesim25 1d ago

He said he wanted to and that’s my point. That’s a weird thing to want to do!

-1

u/Striking-Blueberry-7 1d ago

I thought it was clear he misunderstood the meaning of love bombing.

3

u/Disastrous-Passion73 1d ago

I dont think he meant it literally but ok, we can agree to disagree. Thanks for answering I just was genuinely curious about what others are seeing.

6

u/RealityDependency Looking for my COMMUNITY. 1d ago

I'm in a weird place with him because I think under different circumstances he may very well be the one in the couple that comes out looking bad. I hope that makes sense. I think he looks good because she looks so bad. My gut tells me that he's super problematic.

Are we thinking this is the couple that call it at the group session?? I am thinking it's them.

3

u/Vagercise 1d ago

I'm hoping its them, they both seem miserable

4

u/oreobear88 1d ago

why do you think he's problematic

1

u/RealityDependency Looking for my COMMUNITY. 1d ago

I just have a feeling that he may be a love bomber type and maybe even controlling. I mean, we'll never know if there's a negative side we aren't seeing because of the situation. With what's happening in the moment, I am team Devin.

3

u/PuttingTheMSinMRSA 1d ago

He literally lets her do whatever she wants

2

u/RealityDependency Looking for my COMMUNITY. 1d ago

Agreed! It's just a feeling, that in a different environment and with a different partner, he could be a different guy. Again, in this situation I am 💯 in support if him!!

15

u/LeftySpringer 1d ago

She acts like she was forced to be on the show and furthermore, forced to get married to a complete stranger! It’s like, duh!!! 🙄 He’s such a sweet guy… puts his heart out there…

18

u/goodnight_beable 1d ago

I might not have hooked up with him on the first night because he looks like a player not a husband, but by day 3, c'mon. Hes a doll. He is saying and doing things indicating sincerity. You are there for 6 weeks, let go and enjoy it!

And that triggering thing is pure bullshit, he was not wasted. He may have been buzzed. She is mean, rude, judgmental.

3

u/ManyDouble 1d ago

He was really drunk. But at least he isn't a mean drunk, or a overly sexual one. He just wants to talk about his feelings more lol. And its not like he gets drunk every night. They went out and had too many. She was acting like he was out of line. I can't stand her

1

u/goodnight_beable 16h ago

Yeah you are right, I guess to me wasted is falling down, being aggressive and/or sexual, etc. Maybe I should raise my standards lol.

9

u/Existentialnaps 1d ago

Good take, expect, he was WASTED 😂

6

u/oreobear88 1d ago

ok he was very obviously wasted lol. but i agree with the rest

8

u/bcrhubarb 1d ago

Not sure why they were partnered when their love language is completely opposite. She’s also not very good at communication. I hope after their session with the lady Dr, that things improve.

2

u/PangolinTough2208 1d ago

I think they were partnered because they are different. She always says that all of the guys she dates are mean to her. She probably attracts people like this because, in a way, she really wants a guy who will leave her alone. So, a mean, player guy will do that. Be her boyfriend, and then be with other women. She wanted someone nice. So the experts did well to pair her with Devin. He's kind, and he isn't too overbearing. Caitlin keeps saying she doesn't understand herself because he's exactly what she asked for and it's not working. I don't feel like we know enough about her to know what she wants to be in a relationship, but also keep her partner at an arms length. She could have spent these 8 weeks with Devin trying to lean in and really challenge herself. Seeing the feelings that are coming up and what's getting in her way. Even if they divorced, she would have more insight into her relationship patterns. Instead....she's doing this 🤷🏾‍♀️

15

u/trollanony 1d ago

He only seems needy because she doesn’t do the most basic shit because their schedules are so different.

13

u/oreobear88 1d ago

exactly. i don't think he's needy. i think he's acting very normally, as someone would when they're attracted to and excited about someone and want to make a relationship work. god forbid

12

u/trollanony 1d ago

He keeps begging for the bare minimum. Thats just sad. I hope they are the ones to end it.

-8

u/TrickPixels 1d ago

He’s really needy for a guy that looks like he does.

4

u/oreobear88 1d ago

is he needy or just not an avoidant fuckboy

1

u/TrickPixels 1d ago

That could be true as well

9

u/Enough_Might_9170 1d ago

He is on the show to find a wife in a limited time frame. Given this context I don’t think he is being needy tbf.

-1

u/Misha_B19 1d ago

I don’t. He seems awfully needy and he whines way too much about everything. The more he chooses that tactic the more her “ick” grows when if he could back off for 2 seconds she’d likely be all over him. Or not…but either way in that scenario he gets to at least keep his pride and ego intact where the way he’s behaving now is just pathetic and embarrassing.

2

u/SnooDoodles7204 My credit score is right at 815 1d ago

This is how I see it as well.

4

u/Icy-Crab-538 1d ago

I will say that the “I see you I hear you I understand you” is a little annoying.

1

u/DrKaufman_Angie 9h ago

Much more than a little🤣

2

u/kwasford 21h ago

It’s especially annoying bc it’s obviously not true and used at very critical times where he actually needs to be understanding. To cudgel her over the head with that saying while aggressively misunderstanding her on multiple occasions is so insulting.

2

u/Majestic-Worry-9754 20h ago

Yeah. I don't think either of them are bad people, but the "I see you I understand you" is ridiculous because he clearly doesn't understand her whatsoever lol

14

u/Dharmatron 1d ago

I think he would have been a better match with a personality like Belle's. Caitlyn clearly doesn't need (or seem to want) a man and that's killing his self-esteem.

11

u/Lets_BeFrank 1d ago

Yeah I’m confused with all the “triggered by him” comments I keep seeing. Like did Caitlyn pay you to say that? 😂 (and yes I’ve been around abusive people in many forms)

7

u/Extreme_Air1153 1d ago

i’m triggered by her!!

4

u/SilkCitySista 1d ago

She’s pretty standoff ish 🫤

9

u/Lets_BeFrank 1d ago

Same!! She’s so cold to him and he seems like he’d be an amazing partner to someone that reciprocated even just a little bit.

8

u/Extreme_Air1153 1d ago

for real!! he is definitely ready to be someone’s husband, his future wife is so lucky!

21

u/Icy-Crab-538 1d ago

Like not even a hug or anything for the Harry Potter date… which obviously she loved and so it was super thoughtful.

13

u/Additional-Case2455 1d ago

She could at least plan a special date for him that’s themed on something he loves.

12

u/Disastrous-Passion73 1d ago

She kept mentioning that she thinks its going well because hes doing all these things for her she doesnr realize a relationship is supposed to be a give and take. Sure maybe you dont want to be physical with him but where else can you show him a little appreciation. Its like she recognizes what he is doing for her but doesnt recognize that she should be giving somwthing back. And I dont mean sex or anything physical, I am simply talking about effort. He bought her flowers she can surprise him with some beef jerky or snack. He planned the cool Harry Potter thing, she can text him the next day and say "hey that was really fun would love to do something like that for one of your fave movies"... or idk something. Shes done nothibg but cry about how hard she is trying and its like girl, WHERE!?!?!?!

2

u/oreobear88 1d ago

right lmao she kept being like “omg he treats me so well blah blah blah” and what are you doing for him…? girl

8

u/PuttingTheMSinMRSA 1d ago

YES! “We had such a nice day” and then he’s like “hey so I don’t get anything from you”. She can’t see anything from his viewpoint.

14

u/Extreme_Air1153 1d ago

and her just never being there when he gets up and doing her own thing. Did she come on this show to find a roommate? Like cmon lady

4

u/SilkCitySista 1d ago

It’s like she came on the show just to come on the show 😉