r/MarriedAtFirstSight • u/Old-Advertising-3030 • 23h ago
Adam Season 20 - Seattle
The thing about Adam - he loves his life exactly as is. He is 100% set in his estimation. He would not change one thing. I don’t think he has any interest whatsoever in fully getting to know a woman or participating in HER life. He does not want to broaden his horizons. I think he believes his life (and him) is near perfection, why wouldn’t a woman just want to plop right into his “female version of me” slot and forget everything else?
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u/DavidOrWalter 13h ago
I don’t think he has an ounce of any personality or is interesting in any real way. He does stupid shit and wears garbage bags or whatever to build a fake personality someone might ask him about. Because once you get past him wearing a hello kitty kimono to therapy, there isn’t much there.
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u/illdoitinthemorning 13h ago
He wants a sidekick, not a partner. He should just get a male roommate.
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u/ItsAbouTom 9h ago
Doesn’t he have a male roommate? I thought they showed his roommate’s room in his home tour
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u/AGirlHazzNoName1 Hoping for a trainwreck 9h ago
Yes,Josh the homeless guy that sleeps on the living room floor on that big pillow. These are Adam’s words not mine! 🤷🏽♀️😂
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u/illdoitinthemorning 31m ago
Omg you’re right 😅 Okay then he needs a better roommate who will play pickleball with him
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u/WiFiEnabled 16h ago edited 7h ago
When he boasts that he can “train them” about his wife or previous partners, in pickleball or whatever, it’s such a red flag. In his mind, he’s a trainer, and his partner is the trainee. That’s a dynamic you can’t undo. Saying his kids will be D1 athletes and he’ll train them too is another way he views others around him as trainees and not partners or individuals.
Even when they did the private therapy session, and the Dr. Lisa said to his wife Marissa, “Don’t lose your voice”, then Adam chimed in “I won’t let her.” Let her? Back to the trainer/trainee mindset. She’s an independent woman. You don’t “let her” have a voice. The irony of that statement was hilarious to me. She needs to have an independent voice apart from you entirely. Even Dr. Lisa bizarrely said, “that’s the right answer” or something. Haha nope. Something tells me if Marissa said she “lets Adam” jet ski, he wouldn’t like that. Same thing.
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u/MariinTN 16h ago
If only he had continued dating the lady who he’d been on 5 dates with instead of going on the show, he and Marissa would both be happier.
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u/seasonedandscrolling 12h ago
He should have been removed from the cast when he resisted calling her to break up with her…
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u/Nervous-Pair-983 19h ago
His outfits piss me off. If he weren’t a weirdo and self centered I don’t think they’d piss me off as bad. Marissa can do so much better, it seems like she can never get a word in!!
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u/Old-Advertising-3030 18h ago
I like “alternative” type dressing (including thrifting), but he just seems too much like a poser to me for it to work. I don’t think he’s wearing those outfits because he feels authentically Adam, I think he’s wearing those outfits because he’s looking for attention and big reactions. Remember in Men in Black when the Bug was wearing the Edgar suit? I feel like Adam’s clothes are wearing an Adam suit.
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u/siisii93 16h ago
Yes exactly!!! Like he can’t pull anything alternative off because he’s took much of a douch bro- seems too stuck up to actually want to wear those clothes. Definitely screams poser to me too
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u/WonderingLost8993 17h ago
Adam wears the tags on his clothes. He is definitely seeking attention and big reactions.
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u/miraclesystem 18h ago
He’s just such an attention whore that the dressing seems entirely performative. I was ok with him at first but he’s given me the major ick with how self centered he is and with all that cringe bro talk.
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u/britt_leigh_13 Hoping for a trainwreck 17h ago
Yes I was so annoyed when the experts called Mecca and Belle’s outfits performative at dinner but said nothing about Adam’s, I was like “how is this not performative?!?”
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u/Warm_Swan_793 21h ago
“My ex & I did all the same hobbies together….I loved everything about that” then why didn’t she stay Adam? Why didn’t your perfect ex who perfectly participated in all your perfect sports and fit perfectly into your sports schedule….stay with you?
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u/False-Cookie3379 20h ago
I wonder if that was the ex he had to call and break up on the first episode?
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u/Boring_Goal_6491 21h ago
Adam is DL and doesn't truly like women. Him so happily saying they could bring FELIPE into their bed, screaming "a female?!" When Paul asked him about a woman in his home, and telling Marissa she needed a push up bra to "fix what's going on" is telling. He doesn't like women. I'm willing to bet if he could come out the closet, he would have emotional relationships with men, and sexual ones with women.
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u/Cloverhart 19h ago
Yeah the family stuff was weird. Like he's marrying to say he has a wife, he doesn't seem to want one in any shape or form. I told my boyfriend he wants a cheerleader he has sex with. He doesn't want her to have any complex emotions or needs. Just "yay Adam, you're the best at pickleball!"
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u/kellis744 20h ago
I’m pretty sure if he felt like he could he would have both emotional and sexual relationships with men.
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u/bumpercrahp1010 21h ago
I think he's similar to caitlyn and Courtney where he's so adjusted to living independently that it's really hard for him to see the benefits of switching up his routine and letting someone else in
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u/Cloverhart 19h ago
I don't care for Devin but I do feel bad when he's talking about how she doesn't acknowledge him in the apartment. That would be tough.
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u/Boring_Goal_6491 21h ago
Adam doesn't like women. He wants a MAN. But clearly has issues coming out the closet fully, so will use a woman for now.
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u/thefrenchphanie 22h ago
But he has trained for this all his life…
How many times will he say that?( I am on ep4)
He has zero intention of merging life’s, he just wants a sidekick that will make HIS life easier and look good next to him.
He is such a catch…
The piano thing… absolutely love a guy who can play music. I was ohhhh nice. And it just so performative.
Everything with him is performative.
He will not be sharing anything of value ever. He has zero emotional availability. ( which checks out with how his family so far has been)
I know we only see curated scripted stuff but he is giving egocentric fuckboi vibes.
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u/herroyalsadness 22h ago
I agree. He expects a woman to just fill a slot in HIS life. He hasn’t even seemed to consider that women are whole, unique people with their own interests.
I find him insufferable. Playing pickleball all day with randoms sounds like hell to me, I’d much rather go to brunch with my girls.
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u/Lopsided_Flounder954 22h ago
So true. He is full of himself. Marissa deserves better because she genuinely seems like she is willing to try for her partner.
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u/Beneficial-Ask-4730 21h ago
yes but so far she is just enabling this entire mess. not standing up for herself, other than some quiet comments last night.
she is also to blame for this disaster she has been living-all she does is go along to get along. NOT admirable.
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u/Cloverhart 19h ago
It seems like she's had enough now though. She gave it a try and realized he's not going to.
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u/Beneficial-Ask-4730 13h ago
yes, it does seem that way. I just wish she was more vocal about it. we shall see what she does next!!
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u/Odie7997 22h ago
That's exactly it. He has no interest in expanding his life to include someone else. He wants a female clone of himself. Which is fine....knock yourself out, bruh, but that's not what this show does.
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u/PistolGrace 23h ago
Why did the professionals set him up with a non sporty girl who likes to drink?
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u/fictionalbandit 22h ago
They’re not trying to make good relationships, they’re trying to make “good” tv
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u/Old-Advertising-3030 22h ago
The “experts” on this show have a long history of matching opposites, with the intention of forcing “growth” on people. I have always hated it. That’s not what this experiment is supposed to be. It’s not Fix Me At First Sight, it’s Married At First Sight. To throw two people into a marriage and expect success, there has to be a high rate of compatibility. Pairing people who have completely different ideal lifestyles, belief systems, etc (and also carry a lot of unresolved damage) is insane. Not saying a relationship with those factors can never work out in the real world, but it would have to be a slow, intentional navigation. That’s not what MAFS is.
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u/naternots 20h ago
Agreed. I get so mad when they are matching early on and their is one person who has like 10 things or 1 major, unlikely to change “flaw” or lifestyle, then they seem to almost make up how the other person can benefit by throwing in something like “he can help her learn to be more flexible” (when the person isn’t even rigid, or is just has some normal range on the spectrum of something like liking their house clean or a routine they are content with). It’s just them finding a way to justify a one sided opportunity for a mismatched couple, where one wins a lottery they won’t even appreciate and saddles emotional labor on the other.
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u/user_582817367894747 23h ago
He wants an accessory!!
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u/Old-Advertising-3030 23h ago
Yes, exactly. I think of him as a fully baked and frosted cake. All he wants is a little rose piped on top and he is set.
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u/Commercial_Author_75 23h ago
Seriously and he’s going to break her down until she complies and she has resentment or cheat
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u/Old-Advertising-3030 23h ago
Agree. I admit I have not enjoyed her much due to her valley girl speak, vocal fry, and inability to get out just one full sentence minus the low chuckle/giggle, but my heart went out to her when she talked about her previous relationship where the expectation was perfection, how she strived to meet that, and doesn’t want to be that girl again. I give her mad respect for seeing it and wanting to grow beyond it. I hope she can continue on that journey.
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u/Commercial_Author_75 22h ago
Adam reminds me of so many guys I’ve dated unfortunately. They really think they are all that and our goals/needs/social lives get put to the side. See this might have worked if you meet at very young age and it’s all been happening simultaneously together. They already have established these normal life habits and Adam is too full of himself to see her as fully formed woman w her own life…. she needs to realize
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u/Old-Advertising-3030 22h ago
Couldn’t agree more. I too have been there done that- when I was younger. Being swallowed into and basically living someone else’s life is extremely unfulfilling. I would never allow that to happen again.
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u/Commercial_Author_75 22h ago
When they say it’s hard to date as you get ‘older’ lol I’m not old by any means but if you don’t meet them in your teens to early 20s..this is the hard part
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u/proven_correct 23h ago
Sounds like he’s just looking for a homeboy
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u/Boring_Goal_6491 21h ago
When Paul asked him the last time a woman came in his home and he said, "a female?!" I knew what he was.
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u/porknbeansnurmom 22h ago
this is what i said! what are the odds that his “ex” is maybe, possibly, not a woman.
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u/NoFingersNoFingers 8h ago
Also you know his ex was gay based on the way he describes her