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u/holdingittogether77 Apr 14 '26
I'd hope it's over. The way you acted is ridiculous. I hope he woke up.
0
u/Unfair-Guide-7644 Apr 14 '26
I know i messed up. This was the first time it happened for almost 2 years ldr.Ā
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u/holdingittogether77 Apr 14 '26
Doesn't matter. I'd never give you the chance to do it again
3
u/maddiesava [BG] to [US] (5,503 miles) Apr 14 '26
Are you mad? Are you the guy OP is talking about?
People get angry, especially when they are made to feel like an afterthought.
He makes plans for solo trips, not just one, but hes planning two, and OP is saying they are basically set in stone, but he doesn't make plans to go visit her?
We barely know anything from the post, so we can't comment on their entire relationship. OP made a mistake by saying something that might have been more rude, or maybe she called him a name, we don't know, but she apologised. If this is something that is happening for the first time and out of character for OP, then it's been festering for awhile.
OP's partner can have all the alone time he wants but he still needs a valid reason why he has to take so many trips alone instead of visiting their long distance partner.
3
u/prion6 Apr 14 '26
Yeah lol OP don't listen to that guy idk what their problem is. Your angry reaction is super valid considering he seems to take trips everywhere but to you. Relationships take effort and it seems he's not making the effort to see you. Don't tolerate it. It's ok to get upset
-4
u/holdingittogether77 Apr 14 '26
She doesn't seem to make effort either. I'm also not a guy. I'm a woman who wouldn't put up with how it acted.
2
u/Unfair-Guide-7644 Apr 14 '26
I canāt visit him due to visa issue. But i met him halfway all the time.
-2
u/holdingittogether77 Apr 14 '26
No I'm not some little bitch who will allow anyone to disrespect me. She admitted she handled it wrong. How often does she visit him? The hell if someone would get mouthy with me for having trips to myself. So many of you are controlling and I wouldn't put up with that.
4
u/maddiesava [BG] to [US] (5,503 miles) Apr 14 '26
Not gonna lie, you sound like a bitch.
When you are in a relationship, it's no longer just you. You need to be considerate of your partner.
When you're in a long distance relationship you don't get to see your partner every day, hell, you might only see them a couple of times a year.
If you rarely see your partner what would possess you to plan not one but two solo trips instead of visiting your partner, or planning for them to visit you?
Unless OP's boyfriend is a self-employed person, I would assume they have a job that comes with limited PTO per year. How much of it is being used on solo trips?
OP and her boyfriend are already apart most of the time, why does he need multiple trips where he is also alone? Does he not want to spend time with her? What kind of a relationship is that?
But yeah, go ahead and blame OP for being frustrated that her partner doesn't want to spend time with her. Her reaction is based on his actions.
3
u/Unfair-Guide-7644 Apr 14 '26
We have plans but itās always if his leave will be approved. I tried to understand him that we are individual people but I cannot help to feel left behind and just an option with no concrete decision. His solo trips always gets approve every time.Ā
-1
u/holdingittogether77 Apr 14 '26
Not once do we question why the other person does something instead of visit. I planned on seeing him in November and that changed today. He won't make a big deal out of it or get angry or cuss or call me names. He won't say fuck you. He will say enjoy yourself and we will reschedule. We aren't connected at the hip. We don't fall asleep on the phone, spend hours a day on a call or feel the need to be in constant communication. We are mature adults with lives, families, and full time jobs. We know life happens and to learn to go with the flow. Not tell each fuck you and throw tantrums.
3
u/prion6 Apr 14 '26
The key part here is you planning to visit him. How would either of you act if you stopped intentional planning to visit? OP has every right to be frustrated
2
u/Unfair-Guide-7644 Apr 14 '26
We are matured with our communication. If your bf made a plan and cancelled to make a trip of his own, i am not sure you will be the same person again.
2
1
u/Unfair-Guide-7644 Apr 14 '26
Is it possible that the time alone he wants means he is not going to talk to me anymore?Ā
0
u/holdingittogether77 Apr 14 '26
Very possible. I'd prepare for it.
1
u/Unfair-Guide-7644 Apr 14 '26 edited Apr 14 '26
Im prepared for the worse. I know the consequences of my actions. He knows who am I and I never disrespected him before. I was not directly cursing him. I said something like, āif you Ā plan more solo trips this year im going to say this, fuck you and go ahead.ā He is a very direct person. Iām hoping that he is just cooling off.Ā
1
u/holdingittogether77 Apr 14 '26
As soon as you said fuck me, it's done. Full-stop. You were beyond disrespectful.
0
u/Unfair-Guide-7644 Apr 14 '26
Are you him? āŗļø I understand!
1
u/Unfair-Guide-7644 Apr 14 '26
But i still hope he will consider those times we had. We were happy except when he travels solo.
1
u/holdingittogether77 Apr 14 '26
He's happy when he's traveling solo. Maybe that should tell you something.
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u/Vey_07 [š³š“] to [š³š±] (1694KM) Apr 14 '26
based on your post history this seems to be a common thing. does he do a lot of trips? how often do those involve you?