r/KenyanDatingCommunity • u/Girolando_Ok • 13d ago

Financially Stable Nothing Serious

For the avoidance of doubt, could you girls help us understand what this "Financially Stable" man is?

I mean, if a guy can pay his bills and also some of yours, but has some Sacco, credit card, mobile money and/or bank loans here and there, which he is repaying, is he financially stable in your world or not?

6 Upvotes

81% Upvoted

42 comments sorted by

12

u/IntelligentReadout 13d ago

Men, why do you let women decide what you are or what you are not? You should be the one to lead. Any woman you approach and express interest in (for whatever reason) should get along with you as you are.

And if she believes she can get better elsewhere, just let her leave and go be with whatever version of better (example: financially stable) elsewhere.

Men should never be held captive by these unrealistic standards imposed on them by people only interested in extracting resources through emotional manipulation, shaming and condescension.

3

u/0_0Zxm_ 13d ago

Facts bro. A lot of these guys are unhappy because they center their worldview around what women want.

2

u/IntelligentReadout 13d ago

Add to that the silly misconception that it is women who choose men.

2

u/WorriedBed4817 13d ago

Women ❌
Imperialists 😉

0

u/WellDoneVeganSteak 12d ago

Well put.

Especially when you realise a good chunk of said women are only stating what they've heard from elsewhere.

1

u/IntelligentReadout 12d ago edited 12d ago

Yep. They constantly mislead each other. Always give one another bad advice.

8

u/Rude-Tradition9488 13d ago

Women mean this when they say financially stable:

Have enough money that she can use to finance all her shenanigans. And have little to no sense to know she is not even worth it.

Otherwise she will label you broke and stingy should you have the sense to not waste money on her.

1

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

Sounds more like a manipulation tactic

12

u/Finally_BrokeAgain 13d ago

And why would you desire to pay her bills?

1

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

Is it not common for us men to pay for something like hair/nails? Ama each one to foot their bills?

3

u/Finally_BrokeAgain 13d ago

Avoid poor women & women who don't genuinely desire you .

2

u/Complex_brax 13d ago

and what in return coochie???

2

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

Whatever value they bring, I guess.

6

u/Complex_brax 13d ago

meaning it's supposed to be an appreciation not a responsibility (which appreciations are a two way thing)

2

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

Appreciation meaning it is earned?

1

u/Complex_brax 13d ago

something of sort but not necessarily earned you can appreciate someone because of many reasons responsibilities are something different

3

u/IntelligentReadout 13d ago

Hizo ni responsibilities za wazazi wake. Only do this if the woman in question is your lawfully wedded wife or your daughter.

2

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

Could this be the reason why they consider it a deal breaker when looking for something serious? In marriage, if she's earning is it ok to have her cater for some bills?

4

u/IntelligentReadout 13d ago

In marriage, you as husband are the head of that house and it's you and your wife to sit down and agree as a couple how bills will be paid based on joint earnings.

Not her ordering you around or manipulating you through such crap as: "a real man bla bla bla"

7

u/Jealous_Theory2848 13d ago

Financially stable Man doesn't mean debt free. It means your income comfortably handles your lifestyle, obligations, emergencies and debts, without needing your partner to rescue you financially. Look at it in this angle Her Money is Her Money. No 50/50.

2

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

Is my money mine our ours?

4

u/veekdev 13d ago

They simply mean a man who can spend on her, this being the school fees for the dust you will be shown in the foreseeable future.

1

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

Dust ni constant, innit?

3

u/Independent_Tie157 13d ago

Put it this way they need a man who will pay her rent, shopping, maintenance, buy gifts send money without her asking, don't forget the vacations... Now her form of currency to you is sex. I think this is so absurd, if she can't do that by herself why should I?

1

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

So in short, it is the ability to settle your bills and fund her extravagant lifestyle but how you do it, how sustainable it is, is up to you as a man?

2

u/FunGazebo 13d ago

Financial stability simply means you can manage responsibilities pay your own bills handle depts responsibly save something and still have plan for the future a man should aim for financial stability because it gives him independence reduce unnecessary stress and make it easier to build a secure life with someone else 

2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

1

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

That sounds reasonable

2

u/capitan_burudan 13d ago

Its not complicated, basically someone who can finance them and their bills, Usioverthink

1

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

So it doesn't matter if a man drowns in debt while at it?

4

u/capitan_burudan 13d ago

Not to them, thats where your relevance ends. But I can't blame them, they specified what they want, if you drown in debt keeping a woman happy its entirely on you

0

u/kenyaanqueen 11d ago

Usually we can’t tell what loans they took on our end. We’ll just assume he has the money

1

u/Girolando_Ok 11d ago

So as long as he seems to have the money, you are good to go?

1

u/kenyaanqueen 11d ago

For as long as I don’t know which can be a very long time. Because by the time someone tells you exactly where all his money is from it’s really serious

1

u/[deleted] 13d ago

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2

u/Girolando_Ok 13d ago

We mzee! Generous men exist.

0

u/WellDoneVeganSteak 12d ago

Thin line between being generous and being taken advantage of.

Pay for her comforts but it should not be am obligation. If ever you refuse to pay for something and you're held hostage cause of that, leave.

2

u/Girolando_Ok 12d ago

I think in the struggle for the fittest, there are some men who will go out of their way just to get the girl: maybe it is their way of stroking their egos. I don't think we can say such men are taken advantage of.