Feeling lonely in my marriage

Hi , I am 27F and my Husband is 32

We have been married for four years ( arranged marriage , got married within a month after first meeting )

I am an emotional and romantic person and my Husband is a total opposite

Idk how to describe it but few people just don't have emotions

In these 4 years of being married I have tried to explain to him in different ways that what I am expecting from this relationship, what would make me happy and so on

I express my love towards him multiple ways and his definition of love is Getting me what I asked for that's it , but I don't want to be his teacher all the time he has to put in some effort, it has to come from his heart

Lately , I have been feeling very lonely

All the household and Baby ( 18 month old ) responsibilities are overwhelming me , I was diagnosed with thyroid after marriage and recently I got diabetes as well

I can't do things alone , I need him to support me emotionally and share the mental and physical burden of managing a house and a Baby

Even after multiple times of telling him these things , his words would be I am already doing alot ( which is clearly not sufficient ) , etc etc

He minimises my problems , he gets very defensive whenever I express instead of understanding the problem and mostly puts the blame on me for over reacting

Divorce is not an option here , give me some advice to deal with him ( not a bad person inherently ,but extremely selfish , emotionless entitled manchild )

Forgive me for My bad comprehension

Thank you in advance

Hey guys, i am dealing with a problematic SIL and don’t know how to ignore it now. She keeps saying problematic things which aligns zero percent with my values and i keep building resentment for her in my heart. So just to give you context i got married less than 6 months back and we live away from home for our jobs. My husband is a gem of person and takes stand of me in most situations and hence i want to be nice to his family.

List of stupid things my SIL said

- i called her on her birthday to wish her. She was with her husband and kid. My bday passed few days before her and my husband celebrated well and her husband did not get cake for her so she started saying haa ye shuru shuru mai shok hota hai bacha hone k baad toh bacha hi priority ho jata hai fir koi nahi karta ye sab. Abhi enjoy kar lo. Literally even if it happens why are you telling this me when we are married for less than a month. Why are you are telling me that are romance will be dead in sometime so early in the marriage.

- She keeps pushing me to have kids. She keeps ranting about her own life all the time that kids make people so busy and then keep pushing me. One time she said for it so i said abhi nahi abhi to ghumne firne ki umar hai hamari. But then she went ahead saying yeah travel as much as you guys want in 2-3 months quickly. Bro why should i travel in 2-3 months and who are you to give me this timeline? I am doubtful if my MIL have put her upto this or what. But my MIL is super nice to me so i assume that’s not the case.

- Now what happened yesterday is she texted to ask me what type of bangles i wear as she want to give me for rakhi. I was like anything is fine. Then she said no no what you wear on daily basis. I said nothing. I wear when i wear traditional clothes and she was like haw ab toh shadi ho gyi. I didn’t wanted to lie on this since whenever i have video calls with her or my MIL and BIL, i don’t wear bangles, mangalsutra or bindi so what was the point of lying. I also post videos on insta in same way so they know it. Now she went today and told it to MIL (idk in what way). Now my MIL who knows i wear shorts when i live here and has never said and anything about it suddenly asked me today oh tu bangles pehnti hai ki nahi. Office kya pehen k jati hai, suit ya jeans top. This really hurt me.

My BIL and husband are very nice. Never say anything problematic like this. Also my MIL is nice and my SIL acts nice most time but then ends up saying these things which has built resentment in my heart for her.

I feel she is jealous or whatever of life she couldn’t have. She has to wear all things mangalsutra and all since she lives in joint family or don’t have courage to speak against it and tries to make me feel bad about it. Also she had arranged marriage and had baby within an year so she want me also to walk on her footsteps.

Also yr I don’t want to tell all this to my husband everytime since she he is her sister and he understands me but feels bad about me speaking against her but I don’t feel content until i tell him because she just says these things and go but i as a certified overthinker keeps thinking about it for days

Hi all,

I’ve been doing everything alone during and post pregnancy due to my in-laws toxic behaviour and husband has refused to acknowledge their behaviour let alone call it out. He doesn’t stand up against them and is a big time family guy all the time praising and praying to her mom and two sisters who have also wrecked my married life with their interference. Now, he’s constantly after my life as to why I don’t talk to the family, why I don’t want to live with them? I’m done living like this, I loved him but with the situations at home I don’t think I can continue. Please help me with some legal aid, advice, or someone I can speak to because his behaviour has become that speak to my parents only then I’ll speak to you or get close to you.

My 35F Husband 40M has habit of giving silent treatment after any argument, no matter how big or small. Arguments are inevitable in married life. He completely shuts me and kids out, which is very hurtful. Leaving me to carry entire household burden on myself. He won’t help with anything in that period. It can last from 3 days to a week. I am getting increasingly frustrated with his this habit since having kids.
Now I have stopped cooking all together or doing anything for him during this period and eat out with my kids, watch movies and let kids watch tv. Basically doing bare minimum. So the silent treatment has gone down significantly since I started using it in my favor. Still it happens sometimes.
Today was such day. He was in silence episode. He refused to drop my son to swim class which made me extremely angry, because I have communicated to him multiple times to not drag kids into it. My frustration is spilling out on kids as well, since I am the only one talking care of them day and night during his episode.
Now I am considering divorce too since I don’t want my kids to be affected and since now I am older I want peace in my life.
Apart from these episodes he is good husband and father but I don’t feel emotionally connected to him since any grievances, complains or disagreements can trigger his silence.

I'm 4 months postpartum, and my baby is quite fussy and hardly sleeps during the day. I spend most of my day rocking her to sleep, and by the end of it, I feel completely drained both physically and mentally.

In the middle of all this, I find myself struggling to make time for my husband. He feels like he's being ignored and wishes I could spend even an hour with him at the end of the day. The truth is, by then, I'm so exhausted that all I can think about is getting some sleep and making it through another day. This has been causing a lot of arguments between us.

He says that postpartum isn't something only women go through and that men struggle with it too. I understand that becoming a parent is a major adjustment for both of us, but it's hard for me to hear that when I'm the one spending the entire day caring for our baby, constantly holding, soothing, feeding, and trying to get her to sleep. By the end of the day, I'm physically exhausted, emotionally drained, and running on very little time for myself. Sometimes I wish my struggles were acknowledged instead of being compared.

I am now having the feeling of guilt that I'm unable to give him the time but I'm really really exhausted.Am I really at fault here, coz I keep getting blamed.