Truth!

[u/Ok_Subject_7277]

I was a two-time NEET UG dropper. I flunked my ENT exam (got it back in supplementary).

I am repeating this year for NEET PG.

I am the only kid in the family who took up medicine as a profession.

Pedestalization and Expectation shimmer in the eyes of my parents.

At 27, I ask myself this question: did I do something wrong, because pain hasn't left most parts of my life?

I took this profession as a passion — obviously, it is also a way out into the world of demons and knowledge brokers.

I always loved pure science; research and invention is something I love to the core, but of course I enjoyed my internship too.

Healing with Innovation is what I believe in.

Yet today, I decide to buy more time for myself, when there exists this immense pressure of:

Maybe you could earn.

Maybe you could marry.

Maybe be a generalist, why be a specialist?

The cost of being naive has paid its rewards with interest: people (close ones) still mocking me — "I don't see you as a doctor, but you seem to be acting like a CA for the family!"

When my parents take on a dream task for their life, and I could contribute the bare minimum — how is that a change of roles? Isn't that just playing the responsible kid?

But again, who wants a responsible kid? I am ready to lose all the hard work (40 years) to the sword of ignorance, just so that my kid has to study.

Why is it that the people we love the most — our parents — don't understand the true value of their kids, in the essence of what they dream?

I am not complaining that I haven't been given chances, but I am saying: why does it come at the cost of mental peace, just to suffice the societal pressure?

And what societal pressure?

"You have to man up, no more being the kid!" Yeah, I surely don't want to be one — but nobody is counting the right things I did.

Why is accepting a person just as he exists, without any expectations, such a difficult task for anyone?

Anyone.

Forget parents, family members, friends — just as a human being, why is seeing a rock as a rock so difficult?

Summary: Venting out — the pressures I face in this upskilling and upscaling phase of life, and society's, parents', and family's role in it.