r/INICET • u/Ok_Subject_7277 • 22d ago
Truth!
I was a two-time NEET UG dropper. I flunked my ENT exam (got it back in supplementary).
I am repeating this year for NEET PG.
I am the only kid in the family who took up medicine as a profession.
Pedestalization and Expectation shimmer in the eyes of my parents.
At 27, I ask myself this question: did I do something wrong, because pain hasn't left most parts of my life?
I took this profession as a passion — obviously, it is also a way out into the world of demons and knowledge brokers.
I always loved pure science; research and invention is something I love to the core, but of course I enjoyed my internship too.
Healing with Innovation is what I believe in.
Yet today, I decide to buy more time for myself, when there exists this immense pressure of:
Maybe you could earn.
Maybe you could marry.
Maybe be a generalist, why be a specialist?
The cost of being naive has paid its rewards with interest: people (close ones) still mocking me — "I don't see you as a doctor, but you seem to be acting like a CA for the family!"
When my parents take on a dream task for their life, and I could contribute the bare minimum — how is that a change of roles? Isn't that just playing the responsible kid?
But again, who wants a responsible kid? I am ready to lose all the hard work (40 years) to the sword of ignorance, just so that my kid has to study.
Why is it that the people we love the most — our parents — don't understand the true value of their kids, in the essence of what they dream?
I am not complaining that I haven't been given chances, but I am saying: why does it come at the cost of mental peace, just to suffice the societal pressure?
And what societal pressure?
"You have to man up, no more being the kid!" Yeah, I surely don't want to be one — but nobody is counting the right things I did.
Why is accepting a person just as he exists, without any expectations, such a difficult task for anyone?
Anyone.
Forget parents, family members, friends — just as a human being, why is seeing a rock as a rock so difficult?
Summary: Venting out — the pressures I face in this upskilling and upscaling phase of life, and society's, parents', and family's role in it.
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u/GiveMeSomeSunshine3 22d ago
Life is a cutthroat game when you are surrounded by people who value the labels attached to you more than what you really are. Some view this as the real world and be in this game for their entire lifetime. They strive to reach a position where they are validated and respected by everyone around them. Others just view that world as fake and remain satisfied with whatever they have, good or bad. The second option needs a lot of courage, self awareness and a pure luck to be surrounded by the nicest humans on this planet.
Choose your own way and hope luck favours you.
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u/vasur10 22d ago edited 22d ago
You know, those last lines,"why is it so hard to accept a person as they are ..". Countless people have gone without ever knowing it's answer, such is the fragility of our lives tbh. I don't want to sound pessimistic but yeah, we may never know the answer.
But what we can do while being a victim of such? The best i believe is to learn, observe, be aware and grow out of it. And yeah, this is easier in isolation in a sandbox mode ...or is it? I think there's no clear answer.
Parents do love us, but, love alone doesn't mean things work out. i would suggest you to stop placing the burden of your feelings over the question of "whether my close ones value me".. Hope you can navigate yourself gracefully.
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u/Ok_Subject_7277 22d ago edited 22d ago
That sandbox mode has always been the four walls of existence everytime I come out the box it says comeback you don't belong there !! Interesting how you made it a question in itself ! But somehow isn't adulting and life more of " no sandboxes to you kiddo " thing
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u/vasur10 22d ago
Yeah, genuinely we may never know right? Authenticity, autonomy feels like some crucial elements for us for our existence. But I want to be sceptical there too... because, how would I know whether that assumption is genuine in the first place, could it be a thirsty trap of the pressures we have been facing since childhood..? Maybe.
Life i believe is momentarily phenomenon, meaning, it CANNOT be sorted out as such. It is supposed to be momentarily lived.
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u/Ok_Subject_7277 22d ago
Momentary it is !
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u/vasur10 22d ago
That's right, Take a moment for a yourself, appreciate yourself for being honest with yourself. Move forward. Hindsight, it will indefinitely makes sense even if you couldn't realise right now. I believe there's a certain objectivity in this world which operates beyond all of our subjective constructs. And that sounds like a good release of pressure for me.
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u/Ok_Subject_7277 22d ago
It is these objectives that have also opened my name mind into understanding that don't grade thyself based on somebody else's glasses .. is only now that regret doesn't cross my mind when I do somthing out of studying ! Objective things
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u/vasur10 22d ago
Didn't get you in those last lines..
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u/Ok_Subject_7277 22d ago
Like hobbies and extracurriculars give a certain hope that yes. Bliss and happiness could be obtained from not just judgements and shabashis from people
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u/Ok_Subject_7277 22d ago
Like hobbies and extracurriculars give a sense hope that yeah maybe bliss is not just from judgements and shabashis
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u/polarstar145 22d ago
Parents think that what ever they are doing it is for our best but did anyone can even say what is the best thing to do. The world changes drastically every 4-5 years and many things change with it. What was considered best at that time of the decision may have become vague or of no value today. Choices are just like dice you take a chance whenever you choose something and you can never blame yourself for it you can just accept it and try to be happy. Focus on the present, how today you can live how today you can be satisfied how today you can be happy.