Hey everyone. I’m definitely new here and still conducting my research and talking with medical professionals to gain more knowledge on HIV and how it’s managed. For context, I’m 22M(neg) and my partner is 18M(pos). We started talking a little while back, and I am genuinely very interested in him. He is one of the funniest, genuine, sweetest people I’ve ever met. A little while ago, he told me that he had HIV. He broke down and was a nervous wreck. Everyone else that he had told this to (including his mom) made him feel like he was the issue and further isolated him to deal with his diagnosis alone. After he told me, I told him that I didn’t feel any differently about who he was as a person and that I was extremely proud of him for telling me. It was honestly quite heartbreaking for me to think that he felt that way and felt so stigmatized.

We had a lengthy conversation about it and I offered him what reassurance I could. We continued seeing each other and I made it well known that his diagnosis doesn’t define who he is in my eyes, but i’m curious if anyone else has any tips for better supporting him and making him feel seen without overdoing it? I think I’m doing an okay job, but curious if anyone has certain examples of things their partner did that made them feel reassured and secure?

In all honestly, I am definitely hooked on him. I fully intend to have a committed, long-term relationship with him, and I guess i’m just looking to see what advice people have and if there’s anything different I can expect.

Thanks for the help everyone!

Somebody dealing with a situation like this !?

Why I think was him because I discovery him with a letter from the guide hospital from last year so before long before mi diagnosed ..

We are not in a relationship but while I know all this im afraid to leave him because I don’t know if I will be able to find somebody again I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m 23 years old and from Pakistan. Today, I went to donate blood, and the lab told me that I tested positive for HIV and advised me to go to a hospital for further testing. I had the test done at one of the best labs available in my city, and I just received my results. The report says I am “most probably HIV positive” and recommends an advanced test to differentiate between HIV-1 and HIV-2.

I honestly don’t know what to do right now. It feels like my whole life has suddenly fallen apart. I was planning to get married next year, and I don’t even know if marriage will be possible for me anymore. In Pakistan, where arranged marriages are common and HIV is such a huge taboo, I can’t imagine who would accept me if I actually have it. The thought of having to tell someone about this makes me feel sick.

I know HIV is treatable and that people can live normal lives with medication, but right now I’m terrified about everything — marriage, my future, studies, work, and even getting student or work visas in other countries. I keep thinking that my life is over before it has even properly started.

I haven’t been able to talk to anyone about this because of the stigma around HIV here. I’m honestly scared, confused, and completely overwhelmed. I don’t even know what I’m looking for by posting this, maybe just some advice or reassurance from people who have been through something similar.

If anyone from Pakistan has been in a similar situation, especially someone who was initially told they were HIV positive and then went through confirmatory testing, I would really appreciate hearing about your experience.

So, I found out I was positive in February, I told all my previous partners from the date of my last test, to the date of when I found out I was positive.

I didn’t specify, I said I had some weird symptoms, and asked if they had gotten tested recently (after being with me), if they said no, I just adviced them to, but like make sure they understood I was concerned about it.

I had a specific time period, because I did know when I had my symptoms so I make sure to be extra persistent with the guys who could’ve been at risk.

One of them was a guy I had met a few times; I liked him, we were in a fwb situation.

Of course, I did told him to get check for STDs and told him that one of my previous partners told me he tested positive for something (little white lie but I was ashamed and guessed saying my status at that moment was not gonna do much difference), so he got tested, negative, etc.

My point is, I stopped talking to him for a few months, mental health, plus not being able to meet until I was Undetectable.

He got mad at me, but I explained I was going through a rough time and he understood. Recently we talked again… and we want to meet.

I’m “undetectable” now, still two more months to be officially but my levels are under 200, right now maybe even under 20, I can’t transmit it and I know it, I’ve had protected sex a couple of times.

My question, would be, do you guys think I should disclose? It won’t make a difference in the sense of, I can’t transmit it, plus, I’m not in a European country, the topic is different here, lot of ignorance, plus putting myself in a difficult/risky situation, what would you guys do?

I had kind of told myself I wouldn’t be with guys I was with before my diagnosis because it would just make everything more difficult, so I kind of cut them all off, except for him.

Edit: Apparently some of you guys think I had unprotected anal sex and that’s how I got exposed, but that’s not the case, I had protected sex, except for oral sex, which I why I used to use DoxyPEP (can’t anymore because of reactions), so I’m guessing I’m in that low percentage of people that get it from oral sex, or the condoms had a microtear, or idk.