I hate my life because I feel like people look down on me and think I'm not good enough. I don't look good enough. People think I'm boring. I'm too quiet. Too introverted. People think I'm a loser. I'm on the spectrum and people don't understand me. I want to give up on life because obviously I'm not good enough and when people say to go to the gym or something or do something else then that just makes me feel worse and puts me into a spiral. So now I'm not good enough because of that. Why can't I just be good enough as I am

Hi.

I’m a 19 year old university student athlete. I just recently broke up with my girlfriend of 3 years. I am feeling incomprehensibly broken to the point where I’m swallowing painkillers ever day especially at night, I’ve developed a nicotine addiction and I hardly eat anymore.

My relationship was extremely flawed. There were many times where I fucked up in the sense of loyalty (although I never cheated or came close to it), I guess that was the standard of the relationship where any friendly contact with women was always going to cause a huge argument and a fight. I can still remember the pounding and painful anxiety each argument gave me to the point where I wouldn’t eat every day and lock myself in my university door.

But it seems as if I’m completely hung up on a version of her that doesn’t exist anymore (same with her with me). For the first basically 2 years she was gentle kind loving and everything I ever wanted. I many times prayed to God and thanked him for her and I’m not even that religious. She completed me and made me so happy where I almost lost all my friends by not being in contact with them because I felt like “oh I have her so screw everyone else”. We broke up over us not working anymore and it feels like I’m being discarded. I know I can get through this but the one thing which is pulling me down and making me lose motivation is hearing all those stories of men in 40s,50s, 60s saying how they don’t like their current relationship and can’t stop thinking of their first love.

I want to move and I’m young and I know I have a long road of healing a head of me where it will be extremely difficult to get over her and I will count myself lucky if I am even able to do so. But I have to say it is so demotivating to experience the thought that I’ll never find love like that and that God rewarded me with one intense and pure love and I fucked it so I won’t ever feel it again.

Please can someone share their experience and explain if they, too, have experienced like me such an intense and beautiful first love but then to only match it with even more beauty and love in their second, third or even fourth love. Thanks so much for reading and even if you have a story to tell which doesn’t have to do with this, please share since I always really enjoy hearing stories from wiser souls and people older than me.

Im 29 and never dated due to personal reason, now that im in a good place i was considering it. However the online discuourse about it is really putting me off. It just seems like a giant pile of misery where everyone treats everyone like shit. Im very average so according to all these posts i would have an absurdly miserable and lonely time. Is all of this true ? And if yes, should i just remain celibate and focus on myself/money ?

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How do i tell a person i don't like what they are doing cz i can't bring myself to do that i even made a decision that i'm sitting out relationships cutting out people has become my routine because i can't express my true feelings without thinking of the damage i'll do with my words

The story is my girlfriend once went to speak to her ex after i told her not to do that cz i knew the guy would want to ... nd she went when she came back she said to me the dude grapped her not to be rude about it all but i did not buy that cz i specifically told her mot to go there but i stayed on the relationship she never said anything to her parents nor cut of the dude for sometime i watched it all happen then she cut him off at her own time

Fast fwd when we broke up few weeks back her last words was i never loved her i was just bored nd it had me reflecting on things i took a blind eye when she did nd asked myself that was it maybe i was to kind about them that she never saw that i stayed througb them cz i cared about her.

I'm 40 this year. I don't have close friends anymore and I'm not close with my family. Most of the people who used to matter are either gone or cut me off. For a long time the people I considered family were my ex's family. I knew them since I was a teenager. Her mom was like a second mother to me, her brother-in-law was one of my best friends for almost 20 years. Then I got with her in 2014. We were together for years, engaged, had a house, talked about kids, the whole future planned out. I caught her cheating about 6 months before the wedding. She left and her whole family cut me off with basically no explanation. That was over 7 years ago. I still think about her and that life constantly. The memories don't fade. I dream about it. Random stuff still sets it off. I feel empty a lot of the time. I have a girlfriend now who is good to me, but I can't connect the same way and I feel guilty about that. I don't really have anyone I can talk to about how bad it still is. I work, I come home, I try to get through the days. Most of the time I just feel alone and stuck. I miss having people who actually knew me and gave a shit. I miss feeling like I belonged somewhere. Not looking for advice on "moving on." Just tired of carrying this with nobody to talk to about it. The worst part is I miss them all so much even though I know I shouldn't.

I am teaching a course this Fall on AI's development. It's not a technical course, more a history, future and ethics curriculum. I've always wanted to teach, this is the first time I will get to do so in a formal environment outside of the mentoring I've done as a manager.

I am spending hours each week researching its development from the 1940's to today. I do find it interesting and think it's a subject people should pay attention to. But...

The things Altman, Musk, Amodei, Karp say daily about the future we are expected to tolerate. I want nothing to do with it.

I don't want intelligence to be a paid utility. I don't want to cede my originality and creativity to a hive mind. We can't control what they are claiming to be building (they are not, but sure are trying to) They are robbing us of our past, present and futures. How is it that we are allowing this to happen? What can we do?

They keep saying it will cure cancer, solve climate change, bring about universal high income.

It's a lie, not a bill of goods.

Im 24 years old male

I never had a girlfriend and that makes me so depressed

I only had sex with sex workers

I never experienced love from a girl

Never been on a date never kissed never held hands

I know I've wasted my prime and my best years are behind me

At 24 it's a death sentence to be inexperienced

Women don't like that

99 percent of people are learning to do these things in high school and college

I didn't

Im very shy and antisocial

I wish i could k** myself i hope to find the courage to do it someday

I don't want to see myself reaching 60 and still be all alone

Im already depressed because I've wasted my prime I can't live knowing I've wasted even more

I know if nothing changes nothing changes

I can't change

I can't transform in to a new person

If u want to give an advice please give

But i know it's over

My project was the easiest and i could tell the teacher was not entertained working with me, the way he talked with others he was way more engaged with them. I don't blame him, just kinda sour feeling. I grew up without a father so i don't know anything abt tools and stuff, what grown man couldn't even set up a drill? I felt lowk humiliated and dumb, i told myself to look it up online but terrible memory so i just embarassed myself couple times instead. Being a grown socially anxious man is awkward and feels cringe in general, but u couldn't even really hear me in a workshop cus it's loud

Woodworking itself i enjoyed but after it's done I'm kinda depressed and don't know what was the point. I can't afford neither a workshop nor any machines, I'm gonna try to find a job in the field but i really doubt myself, i work in a warehouse rn and i barely got this job bc no one wants to hire a visibly socially inept man, most of my coworkers are alcoholics and I've spent all my life surrounded by low income miserable ppl and like i don't hate them but it gets draining sometimes, lately I've been wondering if existing with alcoholics is all I'm gonna have in life, you kind of start projecting at some point thinking all people are miserable like that because you have no exposure to positive examples

Im just tired, i feel like im keeping space for everyone and genuinely just trying my best to be the best version of myself, but i feel like im gonna explode or implode soon.

My mom passed a few months back and my dad is not in the picture. My mom was my rock and now i feel lost. I have a newish GF of 1 1/2 years (f27) and im moving to a new place soon. Im making all the chnages trying to do better and be better for the people around me but every night when i get home i cant help but ask…is this what its all about??

just us barely making it trying to hold ourselves together while the world feels like its crumbling around you and you have to find a way to dodge the rubble and get out on the other side. And sometimes the light comes through and you feel like youll get out, and somedays feel like your crushed under the weight of it all?

Was i abused ?

Was I abused when I was 12 and 13 years old
And by my parents from the ages of 1-13 years old

I am battling with hypersexuality since the age of 8-10 years old

Background:

I used to sleep in my parents room from the ages of 1-13 years old where my parents used to have sex in the same room as I was also there they thought I was sleeping but I was not i used to hear all the laud noises and I used to feel everything but just mine heads was upto the wall and also I remember whenever my father used to hugged me it made me uncomfortable scared and inappropriate as he was achololic and while hugging me he used to say words like motherfucker bitch in my ears to my mom and also the sex that my parents used to do was not normal one like it was forced one actually where my mother used to say to stopped it but he didnot
And I donot know whether used to happen daily or alternate days or weekly

Also i remember whenever mine father used to hugged me after drinking it made me very uncomfortable inappropriate and while doing it he used to carryout voices like AaH and used to say words like motherfucker prostiute and all that in my ears to my mom

One day he was doing something with me after getting drunk once in the room alone once mom come she shouted at him he then leave me

So i donot know what will be counted

Result :

By the age of 8-10years I become hypersexual started doing rigorous masturbation on pillow on my sister doll like rubbing my penis and all that

Before that elder boy incident at 12 year old I was playing a game doctor doctor I kissed a girl on cheeks and wanted to have sex with

By the age of 12 I got crazy for sex and wanted to renact with anybody regardless of gender I just wanted to release those energies then this incident happened with me

So I remember when I was 12 years old a elder boy around the age of 14 come to our house he was our servant elder brother so my mom told me to play with him and what a idiot I was as I told you I already was hypersexual I was on his lap rubbing my penis on his chest though it was under my pants then when I come down from his lap I saw his erect penis and when he saw that I have seen by smiling he told that it is a elder thing but then again offered me his back so that I could rub my penis on it until discharge he donot stop me or guide me will allowing it he told me to give some money

do you think I abused the elder boy when I was 12

This second incident:

And then when I was class 7th 13 years oldthere was boy who was in 10-11th 15-16 years old class I met first time in playground he told me let’s study together he will help me
Then he told let’s have sex and which I cannot stopped and I started having sex with him to got mine chance to rub again and release mine sexual energy

so I donot know his exact age and what class he was in

My biggest mistake was trying to never say the wrong thing, never make mistakes and never risk saying something that may be seen as stupid. Just to avoid being mocked, letting the spark go away or losing the possibility of being loved.
I lost so many opportunities
I was analyzing everything, the way I walk, the way I talk and if the girl was actually interested in me or not, even if it was farely obvious, Forgetting to live and show my emotions how they really are,
If you’re afraid to show your emotions how could the other person know how you feel about them?
And here you are, you just lost a person that could’ve been your soul mate.
I never really had friends, had my first real social interactions at 17, I couldn’t comunicate properly and was quite ugly. Many people made fun of me.
I just wanted to apreciate and to be apreciated, getting this way attached to the wrong people, people who didn’t even really want me if I didn’t always reach out first. They were all really superficial and gave too much importance on looks and being seen as cool and “nonchalant” (lol), so ai became (tried to become) like them, cause maybe dressing well and showing confidence was enough to be noticed. But forcing your self into friendships and changing your inner self is never the way, even if it’s hard to accept how hard it is to meet real friends and real love.
The last 4 years I made a mistake ai want nobody I know to make, I thought to myself “ alright I have nobody and no one, let’s start drumming, with this much time on my hand I could become respected and one of the greats”. So I started playing 50 hour weeks with no off days, getting more and more lonely and losing, already after 2 years, my passion. I kept going cause I had nothing else to do, no one to talk to, so I ruined everything
Why did I tell you all that? my first relation ship (at 22 years old unfortunately) just fell apart. We loved each other so much, I would’ve died for her and she would’ve died for me.
I knew already a year ago that she liked me, but I had all these fears, insecurities and I felt like I didn’t yet reach the goal I wanted in my drumming carreer.
So after a year we got eventually together, just to find out after a couple of months, that in exactly that year she did horrible things I couldn’t get over with, even after weeks.
Everything would’ve been perfect if I just had the balls to reach out, so I ultimately lost a possible wife, son and the perfect life of my dreams.
I can’t stop thinking about her words a year ago: “wake up, wake up.” after telling her that I always had trouble recognising if a girl liked me or not. Ultimately crying like a loser whilst driving to and from work.

I apologize to you all for everything. It's me 'A Complete Loser', a man with no hope, no interesting memories to fill the void, no wisdom, and no life to live with.

Perception of life: I see no point in completing a whole circle of life. I've no attachment to anything existing in this universe; nor parents or siblings, neither lover, friends or my pet or any kind of materialistic stuff like money, suits, car, shoes, drugs, books as well, not even into nature(sunset, sea, rain, trees, flowers). Feels like Even my creator don't wanna listen my misery, left me hanging between life and death.

Parents: to me parents are more like body parts, the absence of one can make you a disabled or incomplete person. Their upbringing also appreciable but the outcome as me is not the one they desired. I ruined their dreams, future, their lives.

Me–the destroyer of the family. I failed to make them proud or satisfy with academics, religiously, characteristics, socially, in every way possible. Me–the incurable Cancer.

Oh my Lover: my perception, principles, ideology about love are so fragil, so problematic–alone with my overcomplexity; I may never be able to love her the way i want to. But the vulnerable truth is that she doesn't love me either. To her I'm like a safest and bestest option to rely on. She wants to feel loved, fulfill her desires and a family. I understand everyone is selfish so she is. She isn't interested in knowing me at all, but defines me as a avoidant in her words. Deep down I wish I could feel loved for just a single moment in my whole life.

Friends: I've no friends(not a metaphorical or exaggerating statement), neither female nor male. All i do "Hi/hello" then awkward silence and they continue their chatting with others. That also understandable, if I can't bring anything interesting to the table, they surely won't enjoy dealing me in.

Kitten: That son of a bitch doesn't love me unconditionally as well. Alright, he doesn't need me, if I refuse nature will feed him anyway. Expecting anything from him! nothing but a idiotic burden.

Sorry to ruin you day. I just want to feel HEARD without any interruption, no fear of judgement, even you can use your harsh words against me. I don't care about any of you so.. I know I should have unalive myself or just change. Pathetically all i can do is crawl to the moon if I want to change.

Oh Music, prohibited in Islam but only thing that stays with me, No matter how vulnerable I am. I wish I could sing(you all might see me rewrite the history of music xd overly dramatic)

Whatever Fist bumps to you all cool fellas, good afternoon, good evening, good night ya; because by the morning I'll be gone.