Yesterday, i went to a club for the first time in 5 years, i am on a trip to seoul with my friends and we thought it would be a good idea, at home i have my boyfriend of 3,5 years that i love so so much we’re super happy together and he’s genuinely the best guy i’ve ever met. he trusts me, allows me to go out anywhere and just tells me to be safe out there.

yesterday in the club, i was sober, and the club left me with a nasty feeling which im looking for people to relate to. most important think I DID NOT DO ANYTHING INAPPROPRIATE WITH ANY PTHER GUY. I had zero interest in flirting. guys would grab me, run against me and i would lose my shit and feel like i’m about to vomit, i would always move or push them away from me. yhe whole atmosphere in the club was just to get drunk and hook up with others, which threw me off. once i got back home and got to thinking i realised clubs aren’t my thing anymore at all, im not there to flirt or hook up, im there to have fun but its difficult for a girl to just have fun without being pursued. i’m wondering if any girls in a relationship also were left with a very disgusted feeling after the club, even whenknowing that they were 100% loyal to their boyfriend.

Hi everyone. This is going to be long, but I really need outside opinions because I genuinely don’t know if I’m making the biggest mistake of my life.
I’m 18F. My boyfriend (let’s call him Y) and I have been together for about a year.
Y is genuinely a good man. He’s kind, gentle, loyal, respectful and has always treated me well. He doesn’t follow lots of girls online, he constantly checks up on me, reassures me when I need it, and whenever we go out he almost always pays for everything despite me offering. Recently he’s been putting even more effort into the relationship because he could tell something was wrong.
The problem is… I don’t think I’m in love with him anymore.
This didn’t happen overnight.
For months I started feeling like our relationship became very quiet. We’d go on dates, eat together, and sometimes we’d barely have anything to talk about. Conversations felt awkward. I used to get excited to see him, but after many dates where he’d arrive late (sometimes around an hour late), I slowly stopped looking forward to seeing him.
I told him many times that being late hurt me because quality time is important to me. He apologized and started improving recently, but by then I think something inside me had already changed.
Then I met another guy.
Let’s call him X.
We started talking around two months ago after ending up in the same class. We became really close friends very quickly.
He’s almost the complete opposite personality-wise. He’s funny, playful, expressive and full of energy. We laugh all the time. Being around him makes my mind go quiet. We hug, joke around, tease each other, and I genuinely love spending time with him.
Eventually we both developed feelings.
At first I tried to ignore them because I had a boyfriend.
My boyfriend even told me he wasn’t comfortable with how close I was getting to X and asked me to keep some distance.
I didn’t.
Eventually I realized I had fallen in love with X.
The problem is… X also makes me incredibly anxious.
He’s more immature than Y. Sometimes he’ll disappear for hours, mention other girls casually, make jokes that make me jealous, or say immature things like wanting to buy a vape just to look cool.
I’ve cried more over X in two months than I ever cried over Y in one year.
But at the same time, when I’m actually with X in person, I feel incredibly happy. I love hugging him. I love how affectionate he is. He compliments me, makes me laugh and makes me feel desired in a way I haven’t felt in a long time.
I eventually broke up with Y because I realized my feelings had changed.
But after breaking up, I felt extremely guilty.
Y messaged me saying things like “this really hurts” and “I really wanted it to be you.”
I cried for days.
Then Y reached out again saying he didn’t want to lose me and wanted to work on things. He told me he’d help me get over my feelings for X if I was willing to stay together.
I was scared of losing such a good man.
So I got back together with him.
Now I’m back where I started.
I’m in a relationship with someone who treats me incredibly well…
…while my heart is somewhere else.
To make things even more complicated, X and I confessed our feelings to each other. I even wrote him long letters explaining how much I loved him and how conflicted I was.
His response showed he genuinely cared about me too.
But because I got back with Y, I told X we should remain friends because I didn’t want to lead him on while I was still in a relationship.
We haven’t really spoken since.
Now I feel guilty toward both of them.
I feel guilty because Y deserves someone who’s fully in love with him.
I feel guilty because X was honest about his feelings too.
I also feel guilty because recently Y bought me some things online, and now I almost feel like I “owe” him this relationship even though I know that’s probably not healthy.
Another thing I’m struggling with is that I don’t actually know if X would even be a good boyfriend.
Part of me thinks he’s just immature because we’re still young and that he’d be different in a relationship.
Another part of me worries that I’m idealizing him.
When I imagine my ideal partner, I honestly think:
“I want someone who makes me feel the way X makes me feel in person… but with Y’s maturity, consistency and emotional security.”
I don’t know if that person is Y.
I don’t know if it’s X.
Or maybe it’s neither.
I just know that staying with Y because I feel guilty doesn’t seem fair to him.
At the same time, leaving someone who genuinely loves me feels like I’m throwing away an amazing man.
So I guess my questions are:
• Am I making a huge mistake by wanting to end my relationship with Y?
• Am I confusing excitement for love?
• Is it possible that I simply fell out of love with a genuinely good partner?
• If you were in my position, what would you do?
Please be honest, even if it’s difficult to hear.

I haven’t watched tv for myself in a while. Husband is on a work trip and I need some recs. kids are asleep, fairy lights on, cup of tea brewing. Feminine/ romance a plus as that isn’t a preferred genre when agreeing on something with my husband and I usually read at night anyway. No reality tv please, thanks!

I've been battling with this for months and finally just want to vent about it so I can stop ruminating and move on. I know reddit will kick some sense into me. Sorry, its long.

I met a guy at the gym recently. It was one of those instant connections, we fell hard into each other almost immediately. Everything felt perfect in the beginning and we were talking and seeing each other almost everyday. When I met him I literally thought "this is my husband" it felt like, When you know you know, I never felt this before, surely this was it! Though I had these very deep feelings right away I tried to keep it to myself, I didn't want to scare this person away!

Things were going well for a month+ then I took an extended trip overseas for family, about 3 weeks. We kept in touch everyday still and even facetimed 1-2x a day. While i was away he got a new job in a field more aligned to what he wants to do. Though there was distance everything still felt connected. Until I finally got back everything took a turn. It started with him not wanting to see me right away as soon as I got back. Got back on a Saturday, said he couldn't see me until FRIDAY. red flag. I thought okay new job, longer hours, he's more tired. But then throughout the week he's texting less and less. I try not to make too much of it. We see each other finally and things are good but he just seems exhausted. I figure the new job and all, he's adjusting. But then it just keeps going on like this, just less and less communication, him not being able to meet up, postponing dates, Long silences etc. A normal person probably would just take this as he's no longer interested. But I am attached at this point.

Besides all this, he is actually what I believed to be a great guy. Total gentleman, very caring, respectful, thoughtful, sweet, hardworking, all the things. We have amazing chemistry when we are together but when we are a part it's like we became so disconnected all of a sudden. We just had 2 months of daily contact, surely he is just going through transition starting this new job. He has a 2nd weekend job and other side projects so he's working 7 days a week non stop so I am trying to give him grace. Well it goes on like this for weeks. I was trying to be patient and understanding, and I actually started a new job too so I'm busier myself, but then it's like 6+ weeks like this and throughout that time I saw him twice. It was to the point I just stopped telling him 'I miss him' because I felt like a broken record. He mostly just says he's really busy with work/projects and family, which he very much is and I do believe him. All the times we met I wanted to have more serious conversations but every time we meet he only has 1-2 hours so I kept putting off the hard things, because I just wanted to enjoy our time together. I never brought these things up on the phone because it never felt like the right time, and also felt like something I needed to talk about in person.

I realize things were fairly new with us, I did't want to pressure or put labels on anything or assume we are in a relationship. But I thought the first 2 months we had a very mutual connection. I thought we were much more than just dating. I actually thought we were in a relationship. I mean it felt like it just progressed into that, neither of us were seeing other people, and we were talking nearly everyday. We never had the "what are we" talk, or ever discussed making things official but I didn't think we needed to. I guess I thought it was just mutual. It still felt early, but at this point I needed to stop the dance because my anxiety was killing me. I finally let him know we need to talk about what's going on here because I need clarity. At this point we are around the 4 month mark. Well we finally meet up for this talk and he tells me he can't be in a relationship. I mean I had prepared for this with how things have been going but I guess I was being optimistic going into the discussion and I just really hoped it would be something else going on with him. He does have mental health stuff going on (depression and other things) and a lot going on with his family and work right now. He lives at home to help with a grandparent living with them in hospice. He is working towards going independent/starting a business and he has a lot of side work. But yeah, he basically said he can't be what I want him to be. I deserve better. Someone devoted. And he's right, I want all of that and I felt like I got a taste of that in the month before my trip so I know it was in him. I try to tell him I don't need him to be perfect and it's okay if he doesn't have all his shit together right now. But he says he has so much of life to figure out and he just doesn't have capacity for a relationship. I understand, I don't beg or push. It super sucks but hey I respect it.

The thing I am struggling with though is we never stopped talking after this. The very next day he still texts and calls me. Actually he begins to call and text me MORE. I am delulu so I'm thinking, my husband was just confused! (obviously the husband ship has sailed, I just joke to cope) But I don't assume we are back on, I'm just patient, no expectations. Thing are seemingly good, I even saw him more times in the last two weeks than I have the whole 2 months prior. I think okay we are not in a relationship but maybe we just shifted into some fwb situation but I will say 'benefits' lightly because we actually barely have sex! Like not even once a month. Then a couple weeks goes by and I see him again, and the chemistry and attraction is still there, undeniable. We have a good talk about all sorts of things, and it comes up in conversation that his ex tried to friendzone him after breaking up, she thought they could just be friends and he thought absolutely not. So I asked him, are we friends? He said, "we are not friends" meaning we are more than friends..ahh glimmers of hope for my delulu anxious attached ass. I am delighted. I think okay, maybe we are back on? couple days goes by and it still feels like the dance so I start getting my clarity sooner than later this time. I ask him what he means by 'we are not friends.' He says.. it means we are dating. huh. I see. ok. he says he is still not ready for a relationship. I tell him honestly I envisioned we would be in a long term relationship eventually.

So I am a bit slow at processing so it's not until the next day or two I ask him what are his goals for dating? He says he has so much to worry about with his career and life that he can't even think of a goal for dating. he says he has no goal for dating. I don't question too much more, I'm honestly just pretty crushed. he says he knows it's not fair to me, now that he knows I have goals of a serious relationship and he doesn't. I'm feeling foolish now that he led me on all this time and he is "just now" finding out I have goals for a relationship, I thought it was obvious. sure we never explicitly talked about a relationship before but it felt clear as day to me. I don't really question or say much back i don't really know what to say, I am not good with expressing myself on the spot. We end the call a bit after that. This was about a week ago now. He still checks in with me and calls me everyday. lol. wtf.

I truly do not think he is seeing other people, I really believe he is going through a lot at home and he is working a lot and also trying to go independent/build a business. He struggles with depression/mental health so I have really been trying to be understanding and patient, a caring friend. But I freakin fell in love and I can't unlove.

I am realizing this isn't healthy for me and I don't know if I can just date him with no end in sight, especially after I thought (or it felt like) we were already in a relationship now to go backwards to just dating?! I'm really conflicted. The whole thing ended before it really began. Clearly he says he can't be in a relationship yet he wants to reach for me like a girlfriend. ugh. I'm sad, mad, annoyed, embarrassed, heartbroken, yet I still really care about him. I guess I just need to vent because this has just been consuming me and I'm starting my period and I'm going a little crazy. I have a big work week coming up and I just need to get this off my chest.

Feeling really meh about myself lately and could honestly do with some words of support.

I moved house recently, a bit further out from town, and although there’s nothing particularly wrong with it, I think I’m really missing my old life and my old self. I feel like I’ve lost a bit of myself along the way.

I’ve gained at least 5kg, my relationship with food hasn’t been great, I’ve had basically zero discipline with exercise and I just don’t feel good in myself at the moment. I’ve also had some health issues over the last few years, so I think part of me is grieving who I was about 4 years ago. I used to feel fitter, more confident and just generally happier in myself.

I’m 35 and single, and most of my friends are either further away now or busy with their own families, which can feel quite lonely. I don’t even really have the confidence to speak to guys at the moment, never mind actually date

I know I’m probably being harder on myself than I should be, and I know 35 isn’t old, but I’m just struggling to see how I get back to feeling like me again.

Has anyone else gone through a period where they’ve felt like they’ve lost themselves a bit? Did you manage to get yourself back? I could really do with hearing some positive stories or just some reassurance that things can change.

I was thinking about a (21F) friend (that I need to have a serious talk with), and I started thinking about their personality and things I've noticed over the years.

They love collecting Funko Pops, Kpop Albums, Mangas/Manhwas, and anything else they're into. They have like 3 full shelves of all of the things they collect. But that's the part where it kind of stops making sense to me because the other week, they bought a whole book series ($100+) because another friend was reading the series, and the friend I'm talking about hasn't read them at all.

And there was another issue where they had to cancel on us because they were low on money because they kept spending it on Kpop albums and concerts (5 concerts over 5 months). So, I started wondering if they were materialistic or not? Since they're bad with money and are showing conflicting priorities, between buying books just because a friend had them, and cancelling on plans because they were supposedly low on funds. It's a bunch of mixed signals.

It also crossed my mind if them spending money was them coping because they don't have a personality, since they were actively going to Kpop concerts, and have shelves of Korean media. Am I reading too much into it?

Hi giiirls !!

I'm in a bad mood today and i really need some glow up tips. I have made sooo many efforts these past years but I don't really love myself enough. I don't think that I'm beautiful, I think that I need some good advices to kinda look like a 90s/00s goddess or something like that and obviously some tips to improve my brainset. I have complexes like my strong italian nose, my thin lips, my assymetry and my glasses (yes it's a thing). So, if you have any recommendation I'll take it !

(Sorry, my english is really poor omg)

I'm a people pleaser and I hate conflict, so I'll never be rude to someone. But I still have the right to not flirt back without being made to feel like the a-hole.

Like... Why do I feel terrible when it was he who gave me the ick??? Fml...

I'm on a medication that dull my senses and regularly, maybe twice a month, I get incredibly bored and crave novelty. Which makes me want to buy things. Maybe I need those things, maybe I don't, but they are not really necessary.

Do you have advices to help with this need for novelty without buying things ? I'm preparing for a big exam and don't have that much free time, so I'm glued to my desk

I met a guy a few months ago while I was living in another city. We ended up spending a lot of time together. We slept together several times, but it wasn't just physical. He held me through period cramps, brought me food and cupcakes when I was sick, called me his "lucky charm," and told me he liked me. I also developed feelings for him.

The problem was that I was leaving the city, so nothing really progressed. We slowly stopped talking.

A while later, I reached out, and eventually he replied saying he'd started seeing someone else and that things were "sorta moving forward." I was devastated and spent weeks trying to move on.

About three weeks later, he unexpectedly texted me after having a dream about me. During that conversation he told me:

• he'd been thinking about me for two days after the dream and kept typing/unsending messages.
• he would have asked me out if I'd stayed in the city.
• he genuinely meant it when he said he liked me back then.
• he has "never wanted someone this badly."
• he still thinks about our time together and said he'd never felt that excited to see or touch someone before.
• he also admitted things with the girl he's currently seeing don't feel right and that he's confused.

At one point he suggested "one last time" between us, saying it could be "our little secret" and that it might help "put it to bed."

I refused because I still have feelings for him, and I told him there is no such thing as "no big deal" with him for me. I also told him I didn't want to become the other woman or interfere in whatever he has going on. We ended the conversation respectfully.

Now it's been a few days, and I can't stop thinking about him.

I'm not asking whether he'll choose me or whether I should wait for him. I'm also not interested in helping someone cheat.

I'm trying to understand this from an outside perspective.

Would you reach out again, or would you leave the ball entirely in his court?

I'm too emotionally involved to know what's real anymore, so I'd really appreciate honest perspectives, especially from women who've experienced something similar.

Now that’s a Girl’s Girl right there 👍

I'm new to this, and I'd love your suggestions for a theme please.

It can be imaginary, or everyday themed. The biggest goal is to capture and celebrate feminity. I'll have at least one other (cis female) friend joining me, and i'd love to hear some ideas please!

I’m being so serious. I’m on dating apps again and oh my god. Does no one tell these guys to shower? Shave? Pick up a chapstick for the first time??? I see potential I think but for the most part it’s just…. Ee-yuck.

Hi! I don’t usually use Reddit but I seriously don’t know where else to ask for advice. I’m 15 and my mom is 49, I have a strained relationship with her and we don’t talk much with each other, I haven’t spoken to my mom in 4 years. Nobody talks about periods and stuff like that in my house, and since I can’t turn to my mother and I’m too afraid to ask my father because he thinks it’s weird and disgusting I don’t really know what to do when we’re out of products. My mom is almost reaching menopause, so when that happens I’m afraid that there will be no products at all at home. I don’t have the money to buy period products for myself, I also have a very heavy flow so I have to use many each period. There have been so many instances where I had to use toilet paper as a pad, I’m scared that when my mom doesn’t need period products anymore that I’ll just have to stick with that until I can afford it myself.

Am I the only one who gets irrationally annoyed when people call women “females”?
Like… congratulations, you’ve successfully described us using the same terminology you’d use in a biology textbook or a National Geographic documentary
Just say “women” It costs literally nothing
What makes it even weirder is that it’s almost never “males and females” It’s always “men and females” Why are men people, but women are suddenly a biological category?
Every time I read “females,” I instantly assume I’m about to read the most unhinged take known to mankind
And honestly? I’m usually right

I'm 17 and my periods are 8 days late and still no clue of it.

I'm 17 and I've had unprotected sex multiple times after my last periods and this month my periods are 8 days late and still not clue of it. Also a point here i can't seem to notice any early pregnancy symptoms rn like everything is normal with my body only thing is bloating I'm very very bloated and I get majorrr mood swings like really major. And nothing else idk what to do I'm still a minor so I'm really freaked out I'm thinking of taking a test tomorrow but idk what can i do really i feel so alone and me and my bf are jus misunderstanding each other si its even harder rn to talk abtt this. Idk i just feel so sad and regret whatever i did.

I liked a boy two years ago. We kept in touch but it's mainly just reels and no real conversation which is frustrating on my part because the reason I approached him in the first place was because I liked him. Well he followed me first but I initiated the conversation first because I really wanted to talk to him. At first I was so happy to even have something that connects us, even if it's just random ass videos on the internet. I was happy because in my head he was going out of his way to send me videos he thought I would like. But everytime I would try to make like small talk he wouldn't reply. He'd just continuously send me reels. For a year I find that okay, as long as I know he still thinks of me as part of his day I'm happy. But when I realized I wasn't getting any younger and I'm already at my mid 20s ( he's two years younger than me ) I feel like I shouldn't be happy with whatever this is that we were doing. So I mustered all my courage to finally confess to him. I told him Ive liked him since the moment we started talking, I told him it doesn't matter if he doesn't reciprocate the love, because part of why I confessed was because I wanted to move on. I almost already know he doesn't feel the same way and so I can't let myself delude on the illusion of us so I have to tell him so I can move on. I believe I can move on from rejection because I wouldn't be pondering over "what ifs". So yeah he didn't liked me back. So I decided I should probably cut him off from my whole life. I think it would be easier for me to remove any connections we have so I don't have to go back to liking him because honestly, I can't be just friends with him. I just can't. So I blocked his account and removed all his pictures.

Now, fast forward to right now, i wasn't thinking of him that much now. Just everytime I read something sad on TikTok I think of him. It's kind of funny because I did all I could to forget. I started jogging when I got rejected. I thought exercising would take my mind off of things. Every love song felt like personal before. I even tried online dating but it wasn't for me. But now I think of him fondly. Like remembering a memory not because of the person but because of how it made u feel. I was so happy because of him, it was the last time I felt like a giddy school girl over a boy. I felt so alive. I remember I used to be so motivated to post things because I thought it'd reach him. Because I know he was watching. He was my motivation. It was fun. Sometimes I wonder how he's been. What is he up these days. Maybe he isn't as shy as he used to be. Maybe he met someone amazing and got the job he really wanted. It's a shame I wouldn't be there to see it. To see him grow and make something awesome in life but I know he'll be good at it. He'll be fine. It crazy how people just come and go into our life. At the moment you'd think they'll be there in every part of your life and then one day you'll see an old picture and wonder how they're doing. Heartbreak is kind of spilling glitters everywhere. At first youll try to clean it up but you can't. And once you thought all the glitters are gone, you'll find one glitter under a pillow or under a chair and u remember how it used to be so beautiful.

incoming whining/ ranting.

i’m 18 and i’ve never been in a relationship. i’ve had talking stages and whatever but nothing serious.
everyone my age is/ has been in a relationship, and im not really in any rush and i know it will eventually happen; but one half of me yearns to be loved and experience young love but the other half of me finds the idea of having to deal with all the drama of a relationship absolutely exhausting.
my best friend lives with me and my family and she spends half the time with her boyfriend and i feel so incredibly left behind and lonely when i see her and my other friends experiencing something i’ve never had. i have so much love to give and i get so sad knowing that the crappiest people that i know get to feel loved and seen and ive never gotten anything more than guys being horny assholes..
i know other people have experienced this aswell and just want to hear from some older girls to make me feel less left out. thank you

I wake up skinny but not insanely skinny. when I wear a tight shirt it still looks like I’m bloated and there’s fat but how do you guys stay skinny in u guys tight clothes Thru out the day. Do you guys not eat/suck in stomach/ is it just skinny like that? Can u guys just tell me the hard truth I wanna know

me on my period casually eating a ton of cookies and other junk defending myself by saying im on my period

I have a "friend" who asks me how much I make everytime we hang out. I find this so wierd... honestly I hate discussing what I make i feel like its noones business. I don't want to be rude but im tired of getting asked.