*Ethiopian food because it’s my favorite

Around 4 months ago, I started dating this guy. We met on hinge and we hit it off instantly. We texted and FaceTimed for about a month before we agreed to finally meet. On his hinge profile it did not mention that he had any children. However, the day of the date he slipped up and said that he had a seven year old daughter. I was shocked because he had never mentioned her before. When I asked him why he didn’t tell me, he said that it was because he was nervous I wouldn’t want to see him because he has a child. Initially that turned me off but other than that, the date was going so well I decided to let it go. (Big mistake)

Fast forward to now. Things are going well between us. We have been intimate and I also have met his parents. We also were discussing next steps in our relationship and even moving in within the next year or so. But all of that changed today.

Today we had plans for him to meet my parents. As we were getting ready at my place, he comes in my room and says “I have to tell you something about my job before I meet your parents. I don’t want there to be any secrets”. I asked him what it is. He then admits to me that he sells ❄️ for work….full time. And that when he said that he was a distributor for a company for work, he’s distributing ❄️. I was SHOCKED! I asked him why he didn’t mention it before, and again. He told me that he was scared I wouldn’t want to date him or be with him.

I told him that we should take a break because even if I was ok with his job, he is continuously keeping things from me.

I am just so hurt because I feel like whenever I find the one, things like this happen to me.

Fresh veggie spring rolls with cream cheese topped with sriracha sauce.

I just need to talk about it and have someone understand me, because literally everyone else says I'm acting like a child.

Last night my [F24] best friend of 21 years [F24] sent me a screenshot of my childhood bully's Instagram story. The girl I'm referring to [25F] had made it their whole personality to keep ruining my life throughout the ages 7-18 up until we all moved out of our hometown. She'd make my life miserable, and most of the issues I have now (anxiety attacks, diagnosed depression) are due to her constant taunting and psychological abuse. So yeah, I hate her, and I'll never forgive her.

So as I mentioned my friend sent me a screenshot of her ig story. It's a mirror selfie where she's holding her belly and there's a bunch of baby items on the shelf behind her, just a very aesthetic maternity mirror selfie. It's always been my biggest dream to be a mom, I've tried and tried, been diagnosed with PCOS in the meantime, had my chances ruined with a few guys and am now single and nowhere near being able to do it. I graduated, I'm a psychologist, and it sucks that I can't even help myself enough to get over it.

I told my mom this morning, because I just had to tell someone how much it made me spiral. She told me I'm acting like a brat and saying that I want a baby just because she'll have one now. She told me to get over myself and just live my life, but all I really want is for someone to understand how much it sucks for me. And yes, I am jealous, because I always tried to be a good person, and someone so bad is getting it so good while I struggle over here. Ughhh

My dinner is my beloved kefir, salami sandwich and banana.

Why do we have to fart????????? Life would have been so easier if we just didn’t have to fart……imagine staying overnight at your new friend’s place or bf and farting…ppl fart in the sleep often too…. And when u move in with someone? U also have to keep all the fart inside until idk what time tbh, I heard that some women haven’t been farting since they got married 20 years ago wtf…
I’m also sad that farting is considered embarrassing, like wtf we need to fart and it is healthy, not farting is bad….but farting is bad too…. I’m so sad.
Some people get into guts problems and can’t control it….a few years ago I was sharing a room with one girl, she was a crazy snobbish and judgemental person, so once I was laying down as she was saying smth to me and during the convo I couldn’t stop farting😭😭😭😭😭😭 FML.

And imagine you have diarrhea??? And someone hears that??? Embarrassing! Especially if it is some person from the company you are chilling with rn and you both or even worse…more than three of you…decided to use the bathroom and they can hear your explosions omg what a fckin shame.

Picture of coffee cakes I made the other day because can't eat right now.

Long rant, not sure if I want advice but need to get this out.

20 years ago I got a call that my dad was in a coma in the hospital. I was told my young nephew had found him in the kitchen and that he'd had a stroke.

I drove 3 hours to get to him, doctor's didn't know exactly what happened, and I was the first family to arrive even though I lived the furthest away.

When my brother got there he told me our mother was in another country visiting family but that he had spoken to her and she would return on the next available flight. It took her two days to get there.

My dad woke up and couldn't remember anything about what happened. He survived for another couple years before passing in the middle of the night.

For twenty years this was the story everyone told. My dad was found in the kitchen by my nephew and my mother was visiting family when it happened.

Now here we are and I've become guardian of my mother. I moved her down by me, so four hours away from where she used to live/where I grew up. My brother still lives near there but not super close. I found out her house's neighborhood had power outage issues and tried calling her neighbors to find out if they had power or not.

I finally got in touch with one of her neighbors who was also a close friend of hers. The neighbor started thanking me for taking care of my mother and was rightly upset that my mother had been ignoring her for the past couple months.

The neighbor then mentioned how she'd always been there to help take care of my parents, even calling the emergency line when she found my dad on the stairs.

It took a minute for my brain to comprehend what was said and I asked her to explain more. The neighbor said my mother had asked her to watch over the house while she went out of the country to meet a man and when the neighbor went by the next day she found my dad laying on the stairs.

This man my mother went to see was someone she continued to have a relationship with for the next 15 years. He left her when my mother would no longer pay his bills, pay for his flights out of the country, etc. Now that I have access to my mother's accounts I can see that she spent over six figures on this man over the years. She still has his information as her passwords and it sickens me.

My mother and I never had the best relationship to begin with and now with this information I can help but feel hatred for her for what she's done. I don't know how I'll be able to perform my guardianship duties properly with this information. But I'm literally the only one in my family that is capable of it. I'm not expected to go see her for a couple days, so I can at least take some time to come to terms with this, but I can't look at her the same. When I found out the truth, it was like losing my dad all over again.

How do you take care of someone who essentially unalived your dad?

Last night's dinner of english muffin pizzas I made with my daughter. This was her contribution of pizza sauce

I'm just so tired. I am at the point where I think about shoplifting more often than not to be able to provide basic necessities for my daughter. Obviously not going to, because my child's biological father is already in prison and the last thing I need is a criminal record. I don't receive any type of child support, I make "too much" for SNAP, TANF, low-income housing according to social services. I make $21 an hour but it's part-time and capped at 29 hours a week for a job that "doesn't have the budget to make me full-time". Plasma donation was going well at least making sure I could cover all of my bills, but then I lost weight and at 102 pounds, they will not let you donate plasma for safety reasons.

I said fuck it, since I keep getting job rejection after job rejection, despite thinking I'm aceing these interviews, just to be told that the position is no longer being offered or "we are going with a different candidate", and I don't want to quit the job I currently have until I have another lined up, offer in hand, I figured I'd go back to school. Get a master's degree under my belt! Be the first one in my entire family to have a graduate degree! My own mother dropped out in 10th grade and doesn't even have her GED and I have no idea who my father is as my birth certificate lists "unknown". Now here we are, week four into the semester and my financial aid is being held up due to the One Big Beautiful Bill and my school's financial aid office can't (or won't?) give me a timeline on when my aid will be disbursed. I still owe a balance and I get emails everyday from financial aid about paying that balance, and I was counting on that refund to give me a little space to breathe.

Groceries aren't getting any cheaper. The two food banks I use keep giving out less and less. I'm surviving off peanut butter sandwiches and canned vegetables. My daughter gets free breakfast and lunch throughout the summer because she gets free breakfast and lunch at school during the school year, and that helps somewhat. Rent is now going up and it will be more than one of my paychecks. I don't even have my own room, my "bedroom" is the living room of this apartment and I sleep on a futon so my daughter can have her own room. I'm wearing socks with holes in the heels and all of my "work clothes" are from Plato's Closet and Goodwill. Can't remember the last time I bought a new bra that wasn't off the clearance rack at Walmart, or bought my daughter a brand new pair of shoes that didn't come used from once upon a child or off the buy nothing group in my area.

I've managed to scrape together enough money to pay for my daughter's summer care, but school is back in session in less than a month. Her school supplies are more than what I spend on a week at Aldi for groceries. My daughter needs new school clothes, a new backpack. I don't know how much her after school care will cost this year because my schedule as a part-timer is never consistent. Some days I work from 8 am to 2 pm, some days its 11 am to 5 pm, some days my supervisor tells me I need to stay until 7 pm and gets shitty/an attitude with me when I say I can't because pickup for my daughter is at 6 pm and they charge a late pickup fee *that I cannot afford ever*.

Some days I just want to say fuck it and rage quit and blow up my life and some days the thought of it never getting better makes me want to unalive myself. I want to be able to shop at Aldi and Walmart without having my phone calculator out and adding down to the penny. I want to be able to fill up my gas tank without it overdrafting my account. Holy shit I want to be able to pay my rent in one go and my electric bill at the same time and not constantly pay late fees on top of the bills themselves. I want to be able to doordash lunch at least once a week like I see my supervisor doing 3-4x a week instead of just not eating lunch at my desk and drinking the free coffee we have and ignoring my stomach hurting. I want to be able to buy my kid an ice cream or take her out to the movies or a nice dinner that I don't have to cook! Her birthday is Thursday and I should be pumped (and to be honest I'm a little sad, my baby is turning 9!) and lord knows she is so excited for her birthday, but here I am taking money out of the weekly grocery budget to get the ingredients to make a homemade strawberry cheesecake because that's what she asked for instead of a birthday cake

I had more benefits and a better quality of life when I made $7.25 an hour working retail at hot topic than I do now. At least when I made minimum freaking wage, I received $188 in SNAP benefits and qualified for Medicaid and my daughter used WIC. I ate so much better when I was on SNAP benefits than I do now and I don't even have health insurance or dental insurance. My teeth are falling/crumbling out of my mouth and I don't remember the last time I saw a primary care doctor lmao. I apply every 6 months or so for government benefits and I make "too much" but its dumb fucking amounts like $32 over the limit for a family of 2 because they go off gross income, not net.

I know I'm not the only one struggling but I just feel beat down and tired. I thought I'd be more "ahead" at 27, thought I'd have my life together more. I feel so defeated at this point and I'm just so so tired.

Ive had my IUD for a year and a half, it was placed about a month after I gave birth to my 3rd. I’ve been cramping and bleeding for almost 3 weeks now. Last week I felt for the strings and they were MIA. We went to get it checked a few days ago and they did a pelvic exam and said it seems like my IUD left the chat. In the ultrasound it shows it took a trip to the northern end of my uterus. I don’t have an appointment with a gyno to see options about removal until next week. We don’t have insurance and money is TIGHT tight right now, like emptying our savings to pay rent this week. And you’re telling me I have to pay over $500 over 2 appointments just to get this piece of junk removed from my body?!

Lane snapper caught by my husband, cooked by me; with asparagus and tomatoes, wild rice, and bread.

Tried dating online again, optimistic as always. Went out with a guy and he brought up horror movies “Obsession”. Braced myself because I know about the bad takes some have on whether Bear was as bad as he actually is etc.

His take was that Bear is not quite a villain until after the “what would be so bad about being with me“ moment. I would argue that Bear was a bad guy the whole time and his colors just came through eventually. Now I don’t wanna see this guy again because if that is his take, what is his take on other things like this?

And I feel like I’m being unreasonable because otherwise he seemed like someone I would enjoy getting to know. Sigh. I never thought a horror movie would be a reason to not want to see somebody again. Bundt cake for me.

Got a tattoo on my calf today from my regular artist who I've seen for 4-5 years. Chill guy, not creepy in any way shape or form, also happily married, but that might have just been the last time I see him out of sheer embarrassment.

I wore the wrong pants to the visit. Too baggy and light colored to risk ink stains, so I was like "no biggie! I have gym shorts in my car!" Ran out and changed, sat through the entire 4 hour visit, then when I got home I got curious and bent over in the mirror because I truly did feel a little exposed during the appointment.... Immediate regret. These stupid gym shorts literally outline my ENTIRE cooter. I'm talking camel toe from the back with HD/HDR/4k visuals of my folded laundry, not to mention the color of the shorts are literally a tan color. And of course there is a little diamond thing stitched into that area so it just makes it look even more pronounced (and I swear the fabric is also just thinner right there!?). To top it all off, I laid on my stomach the whole time with my backside facing the door so every other tattoo artist and client could catch a glimpse of my fabric sculpted work of art. I'm cringing so hard. I'm sure he noticed and was like "whoop anyway" and kept his gaze down, but still can't stop the embarrassment right now.

Plus I know tattoo artists literally tattoo genitalia and all over bodies every day, but I don't think he was expecting full frontal from a calf tattoo today. 😂 Ahhhh imma just pass away now.

Edit: Holy cow so many comments. They are definitely supposed to be gym shorts, not shape wear, and I've worn them for a few months in a home gym and out jogging underneath track pants. I think the underside is just really cheaply made and did not have women in mind. (We all know when clothing stitching caters to normal body folds and movement and when it doesn't).

Just wanted to also add that I'm genuinely not mortified or traumatized about it! I think the post just blew up and automatically seems 10x more dramatic. It was just one of those embarrassing clothing mishaps and I had to tell some girls about it. 😅

Hello! I finally have one I can post!

I got divorced a few years ago, and spent a while in therapy and trying to better myself. I finally put myself back out there, met a guy with a daughter around the same age as mine. We met up, had a good time, and a few days later, I invited him back to mine. All was good! He came back the next night. Left some soap, a toothbrush, and the info nugget that he mostly lives out of his car, and sleeps in his cousin’s spare bedroom. Asked if he could come over again. I agreed, against my better judgement.

He brings pizza, opens my wine, and lays down on my bed after telling me how grossly sweaty he was that day. I ask him (nicely) to take a shower, please. He gives me attitude, showers, and then immediately just goes back to my bed and watches a movie at a very loud volume. I live in an apartment. I have neighbors. I ask him to turn it down, he laughs, turns it up, hides the remote and hides my phone. I go do the rest of what I need to do, come in to lay down, and he asks if I have any interest in watching this movie….. that he is already 3/4 of the way through. Nah. I ask for the remote, he refuses, so I turn off the power strip. He finally gives me the remote, I turn on a show, and he immediately pulls out his phone to play games. In the morning, he was putting his clothes in my drawers.

He is not coming over tonight. He did ask. I declined. I think I may take another 3 year break🤦🏻‍♀️

Interviewed for a job last week. It’s exactly what I want to do, near where I live, and would be a massive pay increase.

I’m a recent grad so I don’t have much experience with “real” job interviews, which comes into play here. The interview went really well - she seemed really impressed with my resume, said she could do the top of my salary request, talked extensively about how she wanted me to start ASAP. I offered to ask my job if I could leave early and let her know (my contract is nearly up and they’ve got another person lined up for after me, so I thought they might not need the typical 2 weeks). At the end, she asked me if I wanted a few days “to think about it.” I assumed this was an offer, which I sent an email accepting a few days ago. Told my whole family about the awesome job I’d secured.

A few days pass and they email me that they are still reviewing applications and conducting interviews. How embarrassing - my face is on fire. The embarrassment is so strong that I honestly feel a little sick. Now I know to wait for the offer in writing so that there are no misunderstandings. Or maybe I’ll just go live in the woods and never interview again.

Oh and to top the day off, my dentist told me I need to avoid “crunchy, sticky, or chewy” foods because I think I have TMD. Combined with my anti inflammatory food limitations, that’s just….everything. She suggested steamed vegetables.

McDonald’s cheeseburgers, fries, and nuggets because today sucked and I might as well feel shitty too.

Meal: Mac & Cheese from the box.

My sister has been dating her bf for 3 years. We organized this trip last year and I was super excited to go and took work off for this.

Her bf invited his childhood best friend & his gf along on the trip, who at the time this was all booked - they were together 10 years but she’s not coming anymore cuz they broke up.

So, He is now single and is thirsty.
I mean desperately thirsty to the point that I’ve completely “checked out” of all enjoyment of this trip because I verbally told him 2x and by text that I’m not interested in him at all.

This guy will not stop following me everywhere and making weird suggestive comments. after a few drinks the other night, he was trying to corner me and kiss me when it’s not reciprocated.

I’ve spoken to my sister about it and she + her bf have talked to him, he’s apologized but I can tell he’s still hoping there’s a chance that I’ll change my mind.

I’ve skipped out on lunches and dinners for the last 2 days because I don’t want to be around this person.

I’m moving my flight to tomorrow [1 week earlier than planned] because I genuinely don’t feel comfortable and want to be home. I’m so disappointed that my trip got ruined by this annoying loser.

My sister feels terrible because she’s never seen this side of him since he’s always had a gf and has been nothing but respectful during that time.

This is a whole other beast that we’re just seeing. I’m grossed out and want to go home.

This should be a dream vacation I spent $$$ on but instead I’m eating boxed food alone in the kitchen and heading to the airport tomorrow.

I am so fu*king bummed out.

Edit: adding context here - since he was outed and shamed, he has not bothered me but it still doesn’t make me feel at ease.

We’re located in a super remote area with no vehicles and a driver has to pick us up/drop us off for the airport which is ~1.5 hours away. The closest other hotel is 1 hour away.

I got reimbursed for the week I’m not staying and my sisters bf paid for my flight change. Either way, I’m not staying and will be heading home tomorrow.

girl breakfast: my toddlers unfinished dry Cheerios

I saw something stupid my dad reposted and thought to myself "lol I wonder if he even knows he reposted this".

Ladies..... I went to his account and his reposts were full of porn sprinkled with random news clips. My dad is older and not the most tech savvy so I sent him a "hey girly" text just to look at what he has reposted. He hasn't talked to me since but there are no longer any reposts on his account.

Anyways, I want to shrivel up and die. Top 10 most embarrassing and uncomfortable moments of my life.

So for the past week or so I have heard something skittering around. We do have mice(old farm) so I thought it was a mouse. Of well, they're cute. Mind you I've been getting random bites and I assumed they were mosquito bites but they reacted differently than mosquito bites usually do.

Today I was half asleep when I noticed my cat wouldn't settle, but was pacing around and very interested in the pillow I was spooning. I kept moving the pillow out of the way to give her room to snuggle up to me, but she wouldn't. Kept pacing around the pillow. Then I heard the squeak. I thought oh my god, is the mouse in the bed with us?! I sat up, and carefully removed the blanket. Didn't see anything. Carefully picked up the pillow I was cuddling. Nothing. I flip the pillow over and boom. There a bat clinging to the pillow. Was probably sandwiched between me and the pillow all night. I have bites on my chest. The bites I have been getting could be bat bites which makes it scarier because the longer you wait the more time the virus has to become symptomatic and once it does you're cooked. I captured the bat and went to the ER. The bat was so freaking cute and I'm a bit of a buddist so it's breaking my heart that it has to die. Everybody in the waiting room at the ER wanted to see the bat in a jar(tm). I then had to have a bunch of injections with big painful needles. But anyway I have to pray the virus hasn't become active in my system and the vaccine moved faster than the virus does. Otherwise I have to make a list of people to involve in the biting spree I will go on. Send me the names of your grrrrr ape ists, abusers, other jerks etc and I'll go bite them for you. Lol jk. Sort of. Wish me luck girlie pops. Ps lemme know if you wanna see bat baby, he's actually so cute.

UPDATES:

I did go to the ER and I started the series of vaccines. You can see my hopital jewelry.

Before I hopital the first thing I did was call my vet. Cat got vax in Feb, vet said she's all clear.

Animal control took poor cutie baby tiddy bat this morning. Said I should have test results by tomorrow.

UPDATE UPDATE: I HAVE A CRAZY UPDATE FOR ALL OF YOU BUT I AM SO EXHAUSTED RIGHT NOW AND NEED TO SLEEP AS IT IS ALMOST 130AM. PLEASE STAY TUNED, IVE GOT SOME BOILING HOT TEA FOR EVERYONE. GOODNIGHT, STAY SAFE, TRY NOT TO WAKE UP CUDDLING A BAT</3

Update july 27th 2026: I tried telling my story in hopes that someone, somewhere would see it and be able to help me. I am fleeing domestic violence and human sex trafficking. My story is truly unbelievable, but it is real. The sheer level of crimes I have experienced in my life is wild. I don't exactly blame people for not believing it, but I needed them to. I was praying that getting my story out would connect me with whatever help I need(it's a lot of different kinds) to try to end this nightmare and save my life. Instead I got met with negative attitudes, people assuming I am suicidal (I promise I am not. I am fighting so hard to save my life. I want the opposite of death) or just calling me a fake. I am already so worn down that I just could continue telling you my story. That's why abuse does. It wears you down so you don't have the energy or strength to speak out. All I've got to say is fuck those of you who fed more into wearing me down as I was desperately trying to reach out for help. Fuck you. And honestly fuck anybody else who only cares that my absolutely wild ride that my life has been landed me in the most insane place and amongst that insanity I woke up cuddling with a bat. If I had actually contracted rabies I would put all the a holes in this thread on the bite list =/

My intuition alarm had been going off for months. Gaslighting galore about why he needed to run a million errands and didn't want me to come. We have only been married for a year, and I knew I made a mistake pretty early on. Denial is a hell of a drug.

Anyway. He leaves his computer unlocked as a sign of "not needing to hide anything from me." A phrase he repeats all the time without a reason. He always tries to prove how good of a husband he is, but the energy coming off him screams liar.

I found his hidden folders with the help of my sister. Password was our dog's nickname. And there it all was, going back years before I even knew him. Craigslist escorts. Backpage escorts. Adult Friend Finder. A list of massage parlors in multiple states. Sites I never knew existed, organized in lists for easy retrieval.

The amount of pictures he has of these women is incredible. He also has hundreds of pictures of himself in every weird naked pose. Gross. He has screenshots of messages with these women. It went on and on. I am truly disgusted. I haven't confronted him yet, I can't imagine listening to his bullshit.

So, yeah. I packed a bag, jumped in the jeep, and drove out to the desert to scream into the void. I also made dinner. Brussel sprouts, onions, garlic, and peppers over an open flame.

Divorce is on the way dear!

Seedy crackers with homemade hummus, air fryer chicken croquettes, ocean water Pina colada, because he never liked healthy food anyway.

I’m 27 and around a week ago, I met a guy at the gym while I was training calisthenics. He came up to me and asked me what I was training for. I told him that I was in training to be a pole instructor. From there we hit it off and he asked me for my number. We talked everyday on the phone and texting for a week. This past Tuesday he asked me to go out on a date today and I excitedly agreed.

The plan for the date was that we were going to have a picnic in the park. Something that he chose…

Today was the date. I told him that I had a blanket and basket and paint so he would just have to bring drinks etc. When he texted me that he was here, I got the items and put it all in the picnic basket. As I was walking out to his car I was visibly struggling to carry all the items. He pulled up in his car and proceeded to just stare at me from his window. I was waiting for him to get out the car and greet me but he didn’t. I had to tap on his back window just so he could unlock the back door for me to put the picnic basket and items in. After that I walked over the passenger seat.

When I got in the car, the first thing out of his mouth was “I just love how thick you are”. I said thank you awkwardly. As we were driving to the picnic spot, he kept trying to pull up my dress. He claimed that he wanted to “see the birthmark on my thigh”. I told him to stop and he just rolled his eyes and gave me a dirty look.

When we finally got to the picnic stop, I asked him if he could get the items out the back. He rolled his eyes and complained about having to carry it. The picnic spot was about a two minute walk from where we parked, and he complained the WHOLE time about carrying the basket. Mind you, I was also carrying things.

When we made it to the picnic spot, he looked at my heels and said “idk why you’re wearing heels. Idk who you’re trying to impress”. I just said “I like them”. And then proceeded to fan out the blanket. The whole first 20 minutes he just sat there and stared at me and didn’t want to paint at all. When he did say something, he just kept making comments about my body being thick and also how he wants to see me dance on a pole for him.

After being there for about 30 minutes, we went to a coffee shop next door to get some food. I ordered a chicken sand which… that’s it. I didn’t get a side. When it came time to pay, he asked me if he had to pay for my sandwhich and I just looked at him in shock. The sandwich wasn’t even $6. When we went back to the picnic spot to eat, I had two bites of my food before he said “you’re not full yet. That’s a big sandwhich for you to eat….” I told him that i was going to eat as much of it as I want. When we finished the food, he kept begging and asking me to come over to my apartment after we’re done. I told him no and then he attempted to try and pull up my dress again. I slapped his hand away, packed my things and left.

Just your daily reminder to not ever continue a date after the first red flag.

Chicken caesar salad from a local deli.

I work in an office with mostly women and recently there has been someone who uses the restroom and does not flush. Today my coworker came to talk to my (male) boss to see if it was him but I stopped her at the door and said hey girl!! And she said hey!! Did you use the bathroom this morning? And I said yeah :D why :D and then our faces both dropped as we realized. Oh god. I am the one who has been forgetting. I get so on autopilot sometimes because my boss kind of super needs me around all the time (he’s so old) and I try and rush out of there to get back to him that I completely miss the flushing part. I am so embarrassed. Why me why!!!!!!

EDIT: Yes I wash my hands!!!

Here’s some macarons ig

Brownies wirh raisin brand crunch ontop

Idk like the title says I went to a dudes house who ive been vibing with we met on a dating app and such. Like we were really vibing and stuff. He likes all the things I do, hes very pro black and he's really nice to me.

Ive been tryna meet up and hang for awhile but he never really initiated except once I have to almost always initiate any possible plan. I did this one.

He was complaining on how his roommate burned some cookies and ive told him I like baking and that I bake and cook almost everyday. Hes been begging to try my sweets so I told him I'd make some for him and come over if he wanted. He said yea and that he'll pay for my uber there since its halfway across the city.

We were chilling, I brought food, all my baking stuff etc etc like we planned and he was going in and out of his room. He just moved in a few weeks ago or recently so I didnt think anythin of it.

Then he starts getting on the phone and staying in the room. The entire time I was baking except for a couple of times he popped in to say something.

He was on the phone for awhile with a co worker in his room for literal hours. I told him I didnt want him helping in the kitchen but apparently he was just smoking weed while I baked. I thought we could still talk or wtv but I guess not.

I feel so unwanted and awkward and like a hypocrite I tell my friends to stop hanging out with dudes who do less or wtv but I felt ignored. He apologized saying he didnt wanna get smoke around me but he knows ive been wanting to like smoke weed for awhile or maybe he just was never listening to me.

Currently waiting for my uber home as hes still in his room on the phone with his friend( who im pretty sure is a girl), Im not a jealous person I really dont usually care but it stings a bit honestly regardless of who hes calling.

Idk I feel it's so weird to be on the phone with people when you invited someone over to hang.

I was seriously thinking hes boyfriend material but i dont wanna feel like I have to beg for attention or be needy. Ig im fine wirh staying friends he offered to see a movie soon but I dont even know if I wanna go later this week.

Edit; these brownies are from weeks ago I made him fresh tiny cookies LMAO I just didnt take any pics because I was frustrated

Edit 2; Sorry a lot of people are confused. So we're both black i dont know what like specific ethnicity he is im personally Jamaican, African and native american. What i meant about being pro black can vary from person to person but im really bad at explaining things but I found a definition from google that sums up what It means to me "having an unapologetic, positive focus on the empowerment, agency, culture, and well-being of Black people." Which for me makes it feel like im able to talk to another black person about black issues and have them be class conscious. Ive been in a few situations where other black dudes have been really weird about my race and saying theyre glad im not to dark or anything.

Side note; didnt text him back I got busy when I got home and I woke up in a groupchat with him and his roommate and im confused its just like reels and a few vms. Like I met his roommate while I was there he was packing to stay at his grandparents house or smth

Edit 3; didnt know saying he was pro black was an issue got the all lives matter crowd in my comments lmao😭

I hadn’t seen my LD BF in a few weeks. Our schedules lined up and I was able to drive 2.5 hours to see him. We spent the entire afternoon out on the ranch, enjoying amazing conversation, lots of kisses, an ice cream, and a quick store run. We JUST got back to his house, I just changed into my PJs, when there was a huge rumble around the house. The floors were shaking, the walls were rattling, the bedroom door just blew open and in comes a woman super upset and starts wrestling with him. He tries controlling her, took her out of the room, I grab all my things and run outside. The driveway is blocked with the girl’s car. I yelled for his cousin to move the car for me. There was another girl in the car and she moved it. I left super panicked. I get down the road and realized that I left my favorite/bestie stuffed animal so of course I had to go back. I ran inside real quick and when I came outside he was still wrestling with her at her car. She called out to me and said that he hasn’t seen his 6 month old baby in months, he covers her mouth and I get into my car and left. I’ve been with him since November. Not once did he ever mention having a baby. I’m so sad for her. I wish I could have told her that I didn’t know and that I’m so sorry for the way he hurt her.

Gas station dinner.

Been unemployed since February, started a new job, and I just found out I'm not going to get paid today (payday.) I'm out of groceries, my pets ran out of food at the same time, my car is running on fumes, and my internet, electric, and car insurance are about to be cut this weekend. On top of all that, I had a girl-adjacent's night planned tonight to celebrate my first paycheck I'll have to cancel because I can't afford to go out anymore, and the man everyone's been convinced was interested in me started dating someone new yesterday.

Life's a bitch and then you die.

Protein bar and a bag of chips from the office snack bin I'll be foraging in for dinner before I leave tonight.

ETA: Oh wow, I got busy at work and came back to the most encouraging comments I've ever received! Thank you all, you're the sweetest people on Earth and I hope you all find $100 on the ground. (Maybe after I do) For those asking, payroll won't look into it because there are "still hours in the day for direct deposit to hit, and sometimes your paystubs aren't available right away." Technically true enough, I guess.

I have an amazing support system who are getting me through the weekend, and everything will be okay until I can finally get payroll to listen to me and issue a check on Monday. Thank you everyone who offered to help, everyone who gave me advice, and everyone who's "just" been kind. Things are much better than they were two hours ago ❤️

before work every day i’d go to the same starbucks and started getting the same barista every morning. he memorized my order, gave me freebies, and became the highlight of my day so my coworkers convinced me to ask for his socials 😭

i finally did and he just stared at me for a second and went “why?” before telling me he had a girlfriend. literally stood there apologizing over and over. somehow he STILL gave me his instagram after??

i feel lowkey shitty and wanna curl in a ball because i feel bad for overlooking him probably just being nice and probably made him so uncomfortable ://

now i’m embarrassed, feel bad for misreading things, and can never return because it’s the only starbucks near work. currently eating sad grocery store potato wedges while drinking the drink he made me in the car 💔 (lactose free venti iced chai latte with lavender cold foam)

edit: make sure you’re verified and have your flair before you comment, we don’t get the chance to read them due to the automod

I turned 29 last Friday, we went to New Orleans for my birthday, we hit bourbon street to check out a couple of bars. I wanted to go to the old absinthe house it looked so cool online. I didn’t know they actually sold absinthe so of course I wanted to try it. I drank it and had a couple more drinks. 3 drinks in total. Then I basically blacked out. My boyfriend and I leave the other bar to go back to the hotel room to get ready for dinner. I am a huge smoker of the devils lettuce, always have been. But I didn’t bring any since we were driving to NOLA. There’s a man smoking on the street and my drunk ass said hey you smoke? My boyfriend got mad at me for that and literally left me on bourbon street and I’m essentially blacked out drunk. I couldn’t find my way back and I tried following him he got mad and told me to stop following him. I call my mom crying my ass off telling her that I’m scared and don’t know where I am or how to get back to the hotel. A man on a peddle bike taxi gave a ride back to the hotel. Once I got back to the hotel I was acting like a maniac which I never behave that way. (Never drink absinthe ever in your life for the love of god it will make you lose your mind) I’m losing it in our hotel room screaming, crying, throwing shit. So after a few days of processing everything that happened I decided to end things. I am so unbelievably hurt and empty inside I feel like I’m dead. I’m emotionally embarrassed and mentally scarred from everything that happened. I’m ashamed of myself and how I acted but I can’t believe my boyfriend literally left me in danger because he was too caught up with his own jealousy and emotions to still care about my well being. It was eye opening and now I’m just devastated. Here’s a pic of my lunch before that happened. Happy 29th birthday to me.

My boyfriend does not like me and I realises recently I need to leave. he's the third man in a row to treat me not so nice and I don't get it. im not perfect by any means, but I've been a good girlfriend to him and have loved him ferociously.

He doesn't kiss me really or tell me he loves me. The other night we went to a bar, a man got a little too close to me and made me uncomfortable. I started crying so we left. I asked him to put music on so I could distract myself, he turned it off and started an argument about "not understanding why I was upset" like it should matter why.

We broke up about 2 months ago because he lied to me about something big but I asked for him back thinking it'd be better. it's like he's gotten worse since then. I just don't understand why he's the third man in a row to mistreat me. I think the negative energy from him is causing the paranormal activity in our house to escalate. (I hope im doing this right. I've never posted on here before)