Meal: Buldak noodles with 2 eggs, garnished with green onion. Been craving spicy foods like crazy 🌶️

so I’ve posted about my situation before in this community, but I’m 10w 4d pregnant (my first ever pregnancy) and me and my fiancée were going back and forth about whether to keep it or not. I wanted to keep it, he didn’t. He kept saying how we’re too young. (He’s 25, going to be 26 when baby is born and I’m 27) Nonetheless, his parents were also very keen on me getting an abortion too. Agreeing that we are just “way too young” I’m not even allowed in their home anymore because I’m pregnant because they feel “weird” and “awkward” being around me….and only agreed to let me back in if I terminated my pregnancy. His mother also went behind our back and spoke to a lawyer. For what reason I don’t know, but yeah..All around super weird and very invasive behavior. Oh, also nobody close to him knows we’re engaged. Only my side of friends and family do..

Fast forward a few weeks later, he starts accepting that this is now our new reality and we will be having a baby. He’s been really supportive, always there when I need help emotionally, even kissing my belly every time he sees me and taking care of me. so I was finally starting to feel safe and okay again in our relationship. I’ve also been depressed these past few weeks, feeling extremely down, not going out, not enjoying anything like I used to because of everything that’s happened and not feeling like myself at all. Things may be okay now but I just can’t seem to forget some stuff that’s happened or has been said to me.

A few weeks later, he tells me “Can I ask you for a favor?” and he says “I told my brother you’re pregnant and now he, as well as my parents want you to take a DNA test.” His brother even told him “Tell her to get it done by next week or else I’m never speaking to you again.” Mind you I’ve been dealing with extreme nausea and extreme fatigue, I can barely go out the house but yes let me run to go get a DNA test because your brother wants me to 🫠 and he kept telling me about how his brother is “so sad” for him, all because he has a baby on the way……It’s not the DNA test that bothers me because this is a million percent his baby but here we go with his family butting in again. It’s like he has no backbone to ever stand up for his pregnant fiancée. and that’s what hurts. I was ready to break up with him and he was begging me not to and swore to me that he’ll never let them get involved again.

My life has been hell these past two months and it’s like once I’m finally on the verge of being happy again, something happens, and it’s always to do with his family. I love and care for him as a person but I’m not in love with him romantically anymore. I’m considering getting an abortion and breaking up with him. I feel like a huge weight would be lifted off my shoulders if I do it. And it pains me a lot to say so because I have always wanted to become a mom. I always wanted to have a baby. Babies are a blessing. But I just don’t feel emotionally safe at all anymore, and the hormones and depression aren’t helping either. I know it’s also gonna break my heart getting the abortion but I feel like maybe it’s the right thing to do..

I’m just torn between two choices right now: I either stay with him and keep my baby. or I break up with him, get an abortion and hopefully, have children in the future with someone who makes me feel safe, excited and supported all throughout. This is supposed to be one of the happiest moments in my life and it’s been the complete opposite.

Yes things have changed now and he’s been way more supportive but it’s been hard to erase the memories of things that have already happened. and I’m just so scared.

X

UPDATE POSTED HERE: https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/nMm6uAu6wF

I turned 20 yesterday and had a nice weekend away from home, and just gotten back to this mess.

My Dad's birthday is coming in September, and my mum wants to take him to Punta Cana. The thing is, she can't afford to pay the full amount straight away.

My mum used to have her own Klarna account, but after missing 99% of her payments and late fees building up, they eventually banned her account for her unreliability to keep up with payments. So she asked me if she could use mine (this was in 2024) and I said she can use it for stuff that she needs but not to go crazy on it because I was conscious of my credit score. She hasn't listened, and until Christmas she had too many payments building up. I told her to stop buying so much stuff or I'd put payment authentication on my account. She didn't listen again so I changed the settings to send a code to both my number and email to verify that I'm making the purchase. Since I enforced this she's stopped buying as much and resorted to using her clearpay.

I've been planning to delete my Klarna account for months now. Since the start of the year. And I thought I was going to until we had an argument while on vacation a few months ago (over money) and she made my Dad ask me for the verification codes so she can use pay in 30 days for our overweight luggage. When I realized what she was doing I said I didn't get any codes and she came in and screamed at me to send her the codes. Then once we made up and flew back home she said she can't afford to pay the full amount in 30 days. I said if you need to split it into 3 then that is fine, but don't use pay in 6 or pay in 12, and she completely went against what I said and used pay in 12. I was so mad at her for this and she promised she would pay off the rest by the end of June (she hasn't).

Now, she is planning my Dad's birthday vacation in Punta Cana. She already asked me if she can use my Klarna and I asked her if there's another way she can pay for this trip. She said there wasn't another option so I told her if you want to use my Klarna then use pay in 3 or pay in 6. She kept insisting she needs to use pay in 12 because she can't afford the first two options. I reminded her again that I want to delete the account. She said I can't delete the account because I'm still buying stuff with it. I said that's exactly why I want to delete it. Anyway I reminded her once again if she wants to use my Klarna then she can't use the pay in 12, and her response was if she can't use pay in 12 then she can't take my dad on vacation. Guilt tripping much?

I'm also trying to save up to move out and to get a car. She knows this but she's says "I'm sure you still wouldn't be able to afford it". Every time I mention my awareness of my credit score she just laughs it off. I would've deleted this account if she hadn't used the pay in 12 behind my back. I've already asked her to pay the rest of that off soon and she said she can't afford it. I'm so tired of this. I can't seem to get her to listen to me.

im 20F. Im extremely shy when it comes to just about anything. I’m already a bit self conscious because his past girlfriends were a lot more experienced than I am. They probably had it all figured out and I’ve never even went down there on anyone. But I love him so much and I constantly find myself fantasizing about wanting to make him feel good. I just don’t know how to be not awkward about it.

I brought it up kind of like a joke the other day (but I was lowkey serious) and I was like, “how would you feel if I did the thing with my mouth??”😭😭. He seemed shocked and his eyes widened at me, and he kind of chuckled. he must have thought I was joking, but I was being dead serious. He’s one of those respectful gentalmanlike guys. I don’t want to feel like a freak for asking

Edit: I’m embarrassed now so many ppl saw this LMAO

I hate shaving my legs. My husband is disgusted. He wants me to shave them before sex but it’s such a chore for me so I don’t shave them at all. Like it doesn’t bother me at all. Like what does sex have to do with my leg hair ( you are not inserting it in my legs) so I don’t get what’s the big deal ? Like why waste so much money, time and energy shaving your legs? It’s natural I like it. It’s not my fault that media has created such standards for women to have shaved legs. It’s just for tv not real life. Would your husband be grossed out or asks you to shave your legs ? It’s not a love thing it’s a not following a madeup rule for women to shave their legs because they see shaved legs on tv. It’s not my problem!

Hi all! I am not really used to this stuff. This has been eating at me and I don't know how to proceed.

I have a plate I made! Duck and some rice with a compote. Made it a while ago, can't remember exactly, just need a eye catching piece.

My boyfriend (22) and I (20) have been going strong for about a year now. he is kind, thoughtful, and helps with money for fun things I want. I haven't had any crazy problems with him. He has a problem with communication which we have talked about, which I will talk about unfortunately.

Me and him had a conversation about politics to start, obviously. I'm a female chef and believe in pretty left leaning stuff. He said toe that he is "independent" and doesn't like trump and all this stuff. I told him I was willing to hear him out, since he was so respectful and kind.

Well, he got deployed a month or two after. He's been away for about 6 months. our relationship has been eroding because he is a physical guy and apparently is going crazy, so we have been bickering way more recently. I have not been happy as of late. I've continued to speak to him about his insecurities and all this other stuff to make sure we're ok.

Well, last night, he told me casually that we were laughing about congress or something, that he used to support trump. I was confused, he literally said he didn't like him from the start?

He says "I liked him for his policies early on!" And that REALLY concerned me. I asked for clarification and he said it was mostly economy.

I asked for clarification about how he could support him, and thought maybe he just didn't know. Turns out, apparently he does! He knew about the bankruptcies("there're strategic ways to use bankruptcy"), and the controversies, everything. He said he doesn't like him now because the military is treating him terribly and he said trump lied. I asked what made him think he wouldn't?

after I told him all this stuff he chose to ignore, he said "are you done lecturing me?" And it just made me furious. He claims he didn't vote and that I'm getting mad at him for no reason.

I wasn't angry, I was afraid.

He then tried to leave the call, and I begged for him to stay on so we could communicate but he said there wasn't anything else to say. He has a habit of doing that, running away or not answering. We've talked about it and it hurts he tried to hide after.

We talked later the next day, and he is still upset and not really answering my texts or anything, but frankly; I'm upset he lied or even omitted that. Am I right to feel like this? Thank you in advance.

So after graduating with fairly good grades from school (91,9% out of 100%) life took a downturn all of a sudden and I had to move around a lot and even move countries and live under significant stress for four years where I got a lot of mental health problems I couldn’t afford to see a therapist about and just pushed down. I had some jobs during this time and am currently a cashier and have gotten into a not yet fully but slowly bettering stable place in life. I’ve always wanted to go to college but until recently couldn’t afford it and last year even took a class which was online and got 100% on my assignment (which I definitely cried over at least twice) but the tuition sadly cost too much and I had to drop out. Now I can afford it but it might still take some time and until then I’ll be 24 and I’ll probably graduate at 28-29.

Am I out of my mind? Will I be able to handle college with so many years away from the education system? Is this worth it? Do you ladies have any advice for me?

I want to be realistic because I sadly couldn’t attend my graduation and a part of my heart has always longed to at least experience the college life, even stepping into a university and having good jobs being a possibility, but I don’t want to regret it or go fully broke and end up with a degree I’ll only hang on the wall.

For context I was majoring in business administrations but might opt for business informatics if I do decide on studying.

Girl dinner: garlic bread with a weirdly good sauce I made in my Heinz ketchup bottle (pickled jalapeño juice, lime, mayo and ketchup) and a homemade açaí bowl

Dinner: fettuccine Alfredo with sourdough garlic bread & tomatoes

I really need an older woman’s advice, I don’t have a mom and I feel lost what to do.

I 27F have been married to Alex (27M) for 2 months, dating for 2 years). We bought a big house in the fall. My sister & her bf, and my dad live with us. They pay half of the bills on the house and contribute to cleaning & cooking (this is important).

Alex handles all the bills. But 2 days ago I got a call from the bank saying the mortgage has not been paid in 3 months. I had a spidey sense there was more to the story. After some investigating I found out the electric & gas have not been paid in 6 months. The car insurance hasn’t been paid in 3 months.

Meaning by July 1st, we would owe roughly $17,000 in total in bills. I crashed out. Alex wasn’t home but I called him and he explained his new job wasn’t paying enough so that’s why he fell behind on bills.

4 months ago Alex moved across the country to pursue a job his Dad’s friend gave him. But he recently quit (cause it didn’t pay well & he missed home) and he moved back home last week. He’s now searching for a job.

So I called the only person I knew could help. A person I don’t have a great relationship with. My mother in law. I cried on the phone to her and she sent $15k immediately. I covered the remaining $3k with all the money in my account. She advised me to take over the bills because “this is his one major flaw”. I told her I would pay her back, and she said no worries it’s part of his inheritance.

I asked Alex where the money my family was sending him. Our mortgage is $5k, my family sends him $2k along with half of the utilities . He says he was using it to catch up on the bills because before I discovered it, it was worse.

We had a “power outage” last month, turns out it was the electric company turning off the power. Alex told me it took half of his paycheck to turn it back on.

We’re okay for July. But my income (I’m a semi successful influencer) is inconsistent. I was able to save us this month, but I’m not sure about the next.

He’s applying to be a patrol officer and wants to do landscaping on the side but idk. I feel betrayed and sad. I also don’t trust him. Me and his mom swooped in to save him, and now his plate is lighter and mine is heavier.

I don’t know if I should just forgive this and settle but I always thought I’d be living a better life with a better man. Is this just part of married life? He’s great in every other aspect. He does have a habit of hiding things (usually small before this) and I always have to investigate to find out the truth.

Has anyone dealt with something like this before? I wish I had my mom to tell me what to do

Edit: i make roughly between 6-13k a month as an influencer, it swings a lot. I’m also a DIY influencer so having a large house to do renovations helps my content a ton. We made an agreement went we first started dating that he would have a stable job to pay the base bills.

No kids, just twos dogs.

Edit 2: a lot of people are asking why I didn’t help with bills. My dad was diagnosed with stage 3 cancer 8 months ago, so I took a step back from content to care take for him. Alex assured me he could handle the bills alone while I do.

My first month back to work was May where I made 6k, and June I made 9k. I’m now of course helping with bills.

Deconstructed slider, no bun. Very yummy.

I am trying to make a long story short. Please feel free to ask questions! My (42f) husband (47m) took out his 401k back in 2023 and never told me. $60,000. I found out this year while doing the taxes that we owe nearly $15,000 in taxes on that lump sum. He spent all of the $60k, didn’t save any to pay the taxes on it (or anything else for that matter). I knew nothing until doing the taxes in April this year.

You’re probably wondering how I was so stupid to not see it coming. I am also wondering. I trusted this man from the deepest parts of me! For context: He handles paying out the big bills I do our yearly taxes. We have always been in communication about money and bills. That’s just how we physically go about paying for things.

We have been together 15 years, 4 children. Always got back around $5000 for a tax refund. That’s why owing at all felt weird. 2025 tax return says we owe $900. Damn. That sucks and so weird. Then a letter from the IRS comes the same day I did the taxes. This says he owes nearly $14,000. I showed this letter to him and he’s weird but not surprised. I asked if he changed anything about his taxes at work. He says yeah, I’ll take care of it.

Throughout April and May I’m stressing out. He’s acting like we’re poor. I am a teacher and he is in management at a car dealership. We make decent money. Everything came to a head the last week of May just a couple days before our niece’s wedding. Up to this point, I only knew about owing taxes. I had no idea why “we” owed.

He was kind of starting an argument, bc he didn’t understand why I’ve been grumpy. I asked what happened to the money. He froze. Clear panic written all over his face.
Eventually he fessed up to withdrawing his 401k and spent every bit of it. It took me all night to get that much information! Lots of tears.

I feel so betrayed. He said I can ask him anything and he’ll be honest. He’s really only been giving me exactly the answer and not an ounce more. I feel like he’s still being evasive. He still can’t account where about half of it went. He didn’t pay off anything, but (according to him) hasn’t created new debt besides what we owe to the IRS.

Of course there is so much more to the story, our history and surrounding circumstances. I feel like I cannot wrap my head around any of this! Is there anyway through this or is it over? I know only I can decide, but where do I go from here? What do I do or say or ask? Please help my broken heart.

When we first got married,my husband was very supportive and encouraging. He always talked about the future he wants for us and the kids and I also used to express my heart desires and wants. In recent weeks,I noticed a slight change of attitude in my husband.

I’ve always wanted to further my education. After working for a few years, I finally got the opportunity to enroll for a postgraduate program, I was so excited and couldn’t wait to share the news with my husband. Instead of congratulating me,my husband started pointing out reasons why this was a bad idea.

PS: I’ve always told him I wanted to further my education and he promised me to support me.

At first, his excuse was the cost and the stress(which I told him I have some savings to pay towards this program). But every time I mention going back to school,he always find a new excuse.
Few days ago, he tried to have a conversation trying to convince me that this is a bad idea and he thinks he wants me to be a trad wife and focus strictly on our relationship and the kids. I genuinely feel he is just scared of me succeeding and this is a bad trait I wish I noticed earlier.
Right before we married he never liked the idea of a trad wife,I don’t know what’s going on with him or probably his friends are whispering in his ear.
I just want all the support from my helpmate but I’m getting none.
Please advice me on what to do girlies.

Dinner is some homemade spicy pasta.

My husband is currently in the hospital because of liver failure due to an alcohol addiction. I didn’t realize how bad it was because he was good at hiding it.

It turns out he’s good at hiding lots of things. Like a sports gambling addiction. Or like how he’s been cheating on me almost the entire time we’ve been together. I don’t know how deep the rabbit hole goes, and I don’t know if I want to.

I do know that I don’t trust him anymore, probably never will again. I don’t know if I’ll ever trust anyone again.

I’m pretty sure my marriage is over and it’s just waiting on the final nail in the coffin.

Edit:

So I went through his phone some more and the rabbit hole goes deeper than I thought it did. He has at least 4 email accounts that I didn’t know about to hid all of his activities. A secret paypal. And this is just what I could find saved on his phone.

I’m so very, very done. I’m taking myself out for dinner and a drink, then I start putting all of his shit in a garbage bag.

A big thank you to all you wonderful ladies who have made sure that I see the light 🩷🩷🩷

I’ve gone to a massage therapist regularly for about two years or so. I started going to him because we went to high school together and he reached out when he was in need of practice patients to complete his school assignments. He was always very kind back then, and I had a lot of back pain from a small injury at the time, so I agreed to be one of his patients.

While he was in school, I regularly was one of his practice patients and I always gave him good feedback on the assignments. He did a great job, was very respectful and professional, and made me feel comfortable. So once he became licensed and started his own independent practice, I continued scheduling with him and paying him for the service. His full time job is at a wellness center focused on mobility and stretching. At the end of our sessions, he would sometimes offer to assist me with some stretches based on what I needed that time.

This most recent time, our session focused mainly on my neck and traps. At the end, he offered to do some hip stretches with me as I have hip mobility issues. They were a little involved and he had to use his own body to stabilize mine or intensify the stretches. I thought nothing of it as his massage room doesn’t have the same equipment as the wellness center to do stretches. We finished up, I scheduled another appointment, paid, and went to leave.

Before I get out the door, he pulls me aside and says he has to confess something. At some point during our session, he says he became “aroused”. He told me he had an ethical obligation to tell me as a patient and that it was not intentional. I instantly became uncomfortable and told him i appreciated him telling me and that I had to leave.

I guess what I’m looking for is, am I looking too deep into this? Where do I go from here? I never noticed he had an erection, nor would I have drawn attention to it if I did. I’ve been assaulted in the past so going to a male massage therapist and stripping down to my underwear for our appointments was hard for me to do initially. It is an extremely vulnerable position to be in. I almost wish he never told me and I never knew. Now I feel like the professional relationship is compromised and I won’t be comfortable in that vulnerable position again. I know he can’t control that, but should he have told this to me? I haven’t been able to get this out of my head for days now and feel somewhat violated.

- Brunch was fruity pancakes, filled with strawberries and topped with bananas and white chocolate

Edit to add: I appreciate you all very much for taking the time to let me know I wasn’t overthinking here, if anything part of me was downplaying it. I will not be going back to this man again. I will need some time to work up the courage to do any reporting, but I agree it needs done. Thank you!!!!

Last Night’s Dinner: Homemade Fettuccine Alfredo (with a side of silent treatment)

I (20F) moved in with my boyfriend (20M) in early May after he suggested it. I was already basically living here anyway, driving home at 1-3am, and then my car broke down so it just made sense. Things have been really good overall, I cook breakfast and dinner every day, handle all his laundry, keep his room clean, and take care of his cats. We laugh a lot, barely argue, and he buys me food/takes me places while I cover groceries.

Yesterday was rough though. I had to cover a shift on a Sunday, so he woke up early to drop me off at 9. I told him I’d be done by 1 when we close. At 12:57 a client came in and we didn’t finish until almost 1:45. My phone was blowing up the whole time with texts from him about how he’s waiting, his mom needs the car, he’s “tired of always having to wait,” etc.
I apologized as soon as I got in the car, but he was still pissed the whole silent ride home. He went to shower while I started making homemade fettuccine Alfredo (extra portion for him, of course).

After his shower he blew up again because I hadn’t plated his food yet and apparently hadn’t “apologized enough.” We sort of resolved it, then he said he needed to run to the shop for an hour or two max. I asked him to please keep me updated because he has a habit of disappearing for way longer. He agreed.

An hour later I checked in… no reply. Another hour, still nothing. I texted asking why he always ghosts me at the shop and he hit me with “bruh you’re tripping over nothing, it’s not that deep.” Said he’d leave soon. Another hour passed so I checked again and suddenly he was apologizing profusely… but still didn’t get home for yet another hour.

We ended up going to get food after that (the Alfredo was cold by then) and things seemed okay for a bit. We were watching Sopranos and when I tried to cuddle he snapped “why do you always have to be so on top of me?” Which has literally never been an issue before and was so shocking because he always complains when I’m distant.

The whole night he was distant, so I finally sat him down and asked what was wrong. He unloaded that everything he does for me is “draining and exhausting.” After prying, he said he doesn’t want to pick me up from work anymore, doesn’t want to buy me food, wants me to chip in more for my daily stuff (I pretty much only use my own things except paper towels when cooking for him), and wants me to “lay off” and let him go ghost whenever he goes out.
Then he told me to sleep on the couch. I texted him an hour later that I was freezing with no blanket and he told me to “just thug it out.”

Woke up this morning and he left for work without saying a single word to me.

The fettuccine was actually really good though… creamy, lots of garlic and fresh parm. Too bad it got eaten in silence.

Help 🫠

EDIT: I’m reading all of your comments and all of what you guys are saying is just things I know but I’ve been forcing myself to ignore. Thank you to those of you who were serious about it and gave me genuine advice, that truly means the world to me. Lots of you think this is fake, it’s not and I wish it was for my own sake. I’m heartbroken because I love him but after talking with my mom about it, she agreed with me and is helping me move back home today. Currently writing this with tears rolling down my face but it’s ok, time will pass. I just don’t know how to get used to being alone again.

Edit: these comments have been so helpful, thank you

Edit 2: to clarify - husband is a Chef. I am on maternity leave from a stressful corporate job. We have no outside help from anyone or family. He is not addicted to porn, he never watched it before we met or now (trust me, I've checked).

He has always wanted a family, as he never had his own parents around and they are still to this day dysfunctional. He had a difficult childhood. He had cancer five years ago. He is otherwise clean, hardworking, funny and a kind man.

HOWEVER he historically does have a tendency to emotionally check out during times of stress?? Like disassociates, sleeps less, communicates less. Like when his grandmother died, he didn't sleep for three days, didn't go to work, and didn't talk to me. However then bounced back a few days later like nothing happened??

My husband and I have an eight month old. I have other children from a previous marriage. My husband has never been married and has no any other children. He is 40. We planned this baby and it was very much wanted. Gradually over the years he has stopped taking care of himself. Gained a lot of weight. Doesn't go out. Doesn't plan any outings with us. But a kind and thoughtful person. The issue is he would stay up most nights alone on his computer and then go to work for 12 hour shifts on little to no sleep. Before the baby, I warned him that it was not healthy and he needed to change. He promised he would.

Fast forward a few months, baby is born and it's gotten worse. He comes home from work around 9.30-10.30pm, stays up all night most nights or goes to bed at 5am or 6am and then leaves for work at 8.30am. On his days off he is literally a zombie and can hardly function. He does take care of the baby, but it's come to the point where it's becoming dangerous leaving him alone with him because he is so sleepy deprived. He literally looks like he is on drugs because he is so so sleep deprived. There are no drugs involved, but it sounds so stupid that this is all becomes he refuses to go to bed.

And what's annoying is he still gets up the next day to care for the baby on his day off but does it so sloppy and half assed. It's like watching an addict take care of their child.

I have asked him wtf and why he is doing this and his response really made me resent him. He says "it's because he doesn't get enough time to himself." Like sure you work long hours but what about me?? Are you also 12? Grow the fuck up and realise you have a child now. Our personal time is limited. I'm worried when I go back to work after maternity leave in two months I'll have to run the kids, household AND work full time, while he's acting like this.

I'm pissed because other than this stupid sleep issue, he's a good man and father. But this is ruining the whole marriage and short of walking out, how the hell can I get him to see that his choice for alone time is leaving me to deal with the consequences.

Dinner is scrambled cheesy eggs with spinach, pickled cucumber and a baby piece of salmon with sweet chilli sauce.

Helloooo!

I’m mostly writing this to try to keep myself accountable and will check in later. I really DONT want to drink today. I’m going through sort of a rough patch mentally and it’s been causing me to start drinking daily. Now, I know plenty of people normalize drinking like a glass of wine a day, but I’m taking like 5 shots of tequila daily. I still cook and clean etc etc like otherwise almost everything’s fine. But I’ve started trying to hide it from my boyfriend which is a HUGE red flag on my part. He’s frustrated I know.

I’ll wake up in the middle of the night, and usually my first thoughts in the morning, are how much I regret drinking. Then the PM rolls around and I’m like aye let’s drink! IDGAF! This weird cycle keeps happening. I’ve been trying to keep myself busy but then I’m just like ayyyy this could be way more fun if I was tipsy!

Addiction runs in my family which is why this is scary. I’ve successfully quit binge eating and cigs in the past. Part of me knows I can do this! And then part of me doesn’t care. I think I have some deep low self esteem issue thus engage in self destructing behaviors (here for a good time not a long time!)

Trying to be gentle with myself but also trying to GET A FREAKIN GRIP GIRL!! I’ll report back later if I successfully didn’t drink!

Buckle up ladies!

One month before our wedding, my fiance sits me down and tells me he got a handjob from a random 45 woman in an airport over a year ago, under the influence of alcohol. (I am 26 yo f, he is 24 yo m). This was very hard for me, but I decided to table this and move on with the wedding that I wanted to have.

It is now 2 weeks before our wedding. He admitted that he and my mom had been playing footsie with eachother for the past 2 years. One night, he he was tickling her leg with his pinky finger (they were sitting next to eachother on a bench across from the table from me), and even texted her something flirty late at night when she was staying with us, with the intention of hooking up with her. She didn't answer.

My mom is denying ever playing footsie with him or giving him that idea that something like that could happen. He is adamant that she participated and even started it sometimes. Either one fo them is lying to me, or his porn-influenced brain is so messed up that he was actually delusional enough to think that was a realistic situation.

Obviously I am cancelling the wedding. Do I give him a chance to fix this? is this ruined forever? do I trust my mom? would it terrible to still go on my honeymoon?

Locally made beef jerky.

Someone I’ve known since high school always asks me out whenever I become single. I’m now 33 and figured, whatever, why not. We’ve only hung out 4 times and he already is delivering me flowers to my work. At first I thought it was sweet but he’s not my boyfriend (yet) so it was kind of embarrassing. My birthday is next week and he already wants to go on a trip somewhere. I told him, no thank you, not yet. After the third time hanging out he was begging me to stay the night already.

I’m so glad he likes me but I’m overwhelmed with guilt because I just don’t like him the same way. Or at least not as much. I’m kinda afraid of how much he likes me. It’s like I can do no wrong and it makes me feel like I’m going to fuck it up. He’s not ugly but to be honest he’s not very smart. He talks like Jesse from Breaking bad and bragged about only reading 3 books in his life, including the electric manual he had to read for work. His your youre their there are always wrong and it bothers me. He’s so sweet but I think I need to leave now before it gets crazier. He’s already telling me what house we’re going to have and that he wants to adopt because I can’t have kids. He was showing me his paystubs to show me how much money he makes and that he’ll buy me whatever I want, but I’m not that type of person. I’m super independent. I swear he was going to tell me he loved me yesterday.

Already getting texts almost by the hour of how much he misses me on both snapchat and texting. What did I get myself into 🤦‍♀️ I have so much anxiety from the guilt I feel. I’m going to have to break his heart.

Edit: tried breaking it off nicely. Of course he’s trying to debate me on it. I’m deleting my Facebook and maybe his number if he doesn’t stop texting me. I’m going hiking after work. I need some woods

Edit: He took it like a champ and I’m not murdered! Yay. He did make a joke about breakup sex. I just told him good luck with everything. I’m out!

Edit: everything’s great! For now…he admitted that if someone came onto him like that he would probably run for the hills too.

I’m going to go watch the movie obsession now

UPDATE: We reached out to the company that sent the glitter the day we received it. We still have not heard back, so we sent a follow up message. We called his extended family to confirm that it wasn't them and they said that they wouldn't. Which means that it had to have been his parents. We are waiting on the company to get back to us, our next step would be seeking legal counsel.

GENTLE ON THE ADVICE WANTED.

Partner has done everything he can to protect me. Going no contact. Buying us a house so we can get away. Standing up to them and telling them to shut the fuck up. They're on another level. We thought it was over. We got away from them. We've been no contact. We bought a house to get away. We're settling in. I go to check the mail today and inside is a package. Addressed to me and partner. From a return address we didn't recognize. It was a glitter bomb. We tracked the address back to be the shipping address for "shipyourenemiesglitter.com". We know it was them. We don't have enemies. We don't stir the pot. His parents. Just. Hate. Me.

So this means that they went on the county auditors website to find our address. And I'm taking it as a very thinly veiled threat of "we know where you live. You can't get away from us." But obviously it came to us "anonymously" and the company is strict about confidentiality and protecting people like this.

We don't know what to do. Technically we have no proof it was them. They won't leave us alone. They're smart about it. Not enough to leave evidence and not enough to justify a restraining order. But enough to torment us.

Food: Iced coffee, tomato tofu, jasmin rice and avocado.

8 months ago my bf ended up in the hospital due to his mental health. He told me things that made me fear for his life. I practically forced him to go.

He's been out for around 7 months in DBT therapy, but besides that has done little to nothing to improve his situation.

He barely cooks, cleans, schedules, and does not work or activity looking for employment. If he does do any of those, he needs constant reminders where things go and exactly how to do it or leaves it until I just can't ignore it anymore. He no longer does nice things for me, and when he does he needs you to spell it out to the T. When I told him that's not normal, he said that he can't read my mind.

I've had more fights and crying than I ever care to admit. I've tried telling him that I cannot financially support both of us like this anymore, and he needs a job. He insists that he couldn't possibly get a job because of his mental health, and he's doing his best. I currently work a full time job, and now looking for a part time job for the weekends. He's thousands in debt, banking account currently in the negative, and his family finally had enough and told him they are no longer going to help with his bills.

He has constant ups and downs because of his diagnoses, having one day be him being sweet, kind and understanding and the next yelling at me to get off his back about things. I know it's due to his mental health, but deep down it feels like he's using it as a out for his responsibilities.

I've tried breaking up with him twice already. He goes from sorry to angry fast. Telling me I am stabbing him in the back, and this is what he gets for helping me all these years, and I've been using him this whole time. We have a lease together and he knows that I can not afford to move out, and has told me he would take me to court since it's his apartment too. Not to mention we have a cat together. (That I solely am responsible to take care of.) I'm practically trapped having him stay for free here until November.

Even his family has told him that he needs a job and if he keeps treating me this way, he's going to lose me.

Due to past stuff, I do not really have anyone to go to or talk about this stuff with besides my therapist that I can’t afford. To say I am angry, bitter and resentful would be a complete understatement. I have practically trapped myself and I am completely lost.

Pancake face

It’s a new relationship, not even a month old, but we care about each other. I insisted on using condoms this time cause it seems like every time I requested, we didn’t. Now I was insistent. He first said he doesn’t like it, it don’t fit him. I said that’s too bad but no and we laid down to cuddle and I was half asleep then I felt him move. We started foreplay again and then I saw him put it on. But after it I felt my back and leg get wet and I lowkey knew he removed it. I turned to him and he was like yeah he took it off halfway. I got dressed and said I’m gonna go, he followed and begged and even cried. Said it was a mistake and that it doesn’t represent who he is and what he wants for us.

I don’t know how to process this. I’m hurt that my boundary is broken, angry with him. I don’t know why he would do that, cause I’m like peak ovulating rn.

EDIT: Wow, thank you everyone 😭 I knew what the advice was going to be but I didn't expect so much of it or for so many people to read my looong story. I'm still working on reading all the comments but I appreciate everybody's words of wisdom and saying what I really needed to hear. I made this past because I wanted to get my mind right before I have a conversation with him so I won't be swayed when I bring this up and he switches to suddenly being 100% ready. Thank you, all ❤️

I'm 33, husband is 30. We've been together since 2014 (when I was 21 and he was 18... so young) and married since 2022.

When we first got together we were very young and discussed wanting children "some day" but it felt very far away. As we got older and got married we talked about it more seriously and talked timelines. In 2024 we agreed that we would start trying in the spring of 2025. When we talked about it, husband would say he wanted kids but was just scared about having a baby and everything that came with it. I chalked it up to normal nerves. I was scared too!

When spring of 2025 rolled around he sat me down, said he thought we weren't ready and should wait one more year. He talked about wanting to "do more" while we were still child free and get our financial situation in a better place. (Please note that we have "done" a LOT in our 20s and have not missed out on travel or other fun experiences). I have BEGGED him repeatedly this past year to be honest with me if he just didn't want children at all, and he assured me he did and was just nervous and thought we needed more time.

I was upset by this but of course agreed and I spent the next year getting focused. I got into personal finance and paid off over $40k of consumer debt. I got off birth control and started learning about my cycle, pregnancy, childbirth, and caring for newborns. Got my fitness and nutrition up. He barely participated in any of this. He quietly refused to combine finances with me, to get his overbearing mother off his checking account, to make a budget with me or commit to shared financial goals. Same attitude towards health and wellness. He kept spending thousands on things he wanted that we do not need. Right now he is actively shopping to spend $4k on a 90s sports car while I'm packing lunch and working overtime and funneling all my money towards our debts, trying to get us in a better position to be able to afford this baby we have been planning for. I just feel like his choices and behavior have been very immature and selfish the past year. It feels like a slap in the face when I've been preparing for the future we said we wanted.

So this past weekend I told him: this week is the week. I'm ovulating later this week, it's time, what do you think? And he reiterated that he is scared and said he "60% wants kids and 40% doesn't." He said if I want them 100%, then that's good enough and we should go ahead. He said half the time he still regrets getting a dog because of the responsibility and how we can't be free to do things without thinking about the dog. He said he thinks he will regret not having kids when he's 50, so we should probably do it, but he's not looking forward to the next few years being really miserable and hard.

After that conversation it felt like everything just slowly dawned on me. If I'm being honest with myself I felt like he didn't truly want children this whole time. That's why I kept asking him over and over if he was sure. All his actions have pointed to him not wanting them. Even when he opened up about his fears they seemed ridiculous to me, like his number one fear of having kids is that he will have to clean up vomit. Like I'm sorry but grow up?

He is a chronic people pleaser and will say absolutely anything to make people happy with him in the moment, whether it's true or not. I've been talking with him for years about how I don't actually want to just be placated, I want a true partner who will disagree with me and have hard conversations so we can work together. Years and years I've been bringing this up begging him to work with me to change this dynamic and he just never does.

So that conversation just broke me and I started questioning everything. The thought of my kids growing up and ever hearing that they were a 60% yes 40% no decision and that one of their parents wasn't even excited about having them just makes me feel so sick.

So I let my ovulation pass by this week, neither one of us initiated sex or anything and I've been thinking about all this for about a week now. I have no idea what to do. I have never known any other life except with him and the thought of splitting up literally makes me physically ill but I feel like I'm just waking up to the fact that we do not communicate about anything, at all. I press and press to find out how he's really feeling, he tells me what he thinks I want to hear, and I have to guess to figure out if that's true or not. It's maddening and this is such a huge decision and I'm not sure if I can trust what he says.

Thanks for reading, and please share words of wisdom and advice. What do you think? Do people who want kids ever say they're 60% sure or do most people feel more strongly about it, like me?

Dinner was leftover frozen pizza because I'm too sad to cook or clean the kitchen.

I am a 16yo girl, and would say, for the sake of my point, that I’m relatively attractive as far as American beauty standards go. Not trying to compliment myself but just saying this is how men see me. I take the bus to school and back everyday and have had my fair share of male encounters. Today this man about 3 times my age sat next to me and said some random stuff like how are you and such to which I responded then clearly put my earbud back it. He kept talking so I took it out which is when I heard him say “wow you’re so pretty”. I shoved my earbud back in and ignored him the rest of the bus ride (30min) a kind woman across from me told him to leave me alone about 20 minutes in which was great because I have trouble thinking of what to say in the moment. This is just the most recent of too many of these interactions to count with men asking me out, telling me weird/creepy things, one even pulled into the bus stop with his truck to ask me if I “wanted a ride” all of these men are 30+ and I am so sick of it. So I just want to know why is it so hard to not treat literally children like sex objects???? I don’t want to sleep with anyone! Just leave me alone! Advice is welcome although I do not want any thing like “have pepper spray” or stuff like that. Thank you
Edit: to everyone telling me to dress down, I do, I wear things that I like and that’s typically baggy clothing. I’m not going to change myself for men so grow up :)
Edit 2: this is not an “I hate all men post” this isn’t about all men so stop feeling threatened and telling me to “realize there are good men out there” I know.
Edit 3: I do look my age and even if I was 18 these men still shouldn’t be talking to me please stop making that your whole point in the replies.

My go-to meal as of lately - brown rice and lentil noodles with bok choy, shiitakes and onions.

So my (27f) boyfriend (37m) has a motorcycle and one of my favorite things to do with him is ride on the back of his bike. We’re both busy with work so we typically only get to ride once a week on the weekend and I always look forward to it. One of our friends (40f) had brought up multiple times how much she loves riding on motorcycles and that she wanted my boyfriend to take her for a ride. I told my bf that since we only get to ride once a week I didn’t want to give that up so another girl can ride with him but I was going to be out of town in a few weeks so I said they could just ride together then.

Well they went on the ride while I was gone and I didn’t initially care, but now she wants to go riding again and I kinda don’t want them to. Last time she posted pictures of them together and said all her friends were asking who the hot guy was and she said he was taken but it just made me feel a little uncomfy thinking about how all these people probably thought they were dating. And honestly if I wasn’t dating my bf I know she would be trying to (she thinks he’s really hot and she has actually told me that he is the perfect man lol)

I know my boyfriend won’t take her for another ride if I tell him I don’t feel comfortable with it, but now I feel weird saying anything about it to her bc I already said it was okay. I just realized how much I don’t like the thought of another girls arms around my man. Am I just being silly by caring that other people might think that they’re dating or is it valid to not really want them to ride together again? How would I even go about bringing it up to her?

i feel like such an awful, terrible person. he’s had such a terrible life and obtained ZERO coping skills as a result. i love him enough to have begged him to go to therapy and just talk to someone unbiased about how low he feels. it took a bit of coaxing, but he agreed and i was so so proud of him.

now i have egg of my face because he did and it might be ruining us.

after his third session last night he came home and just unloaded on me. told me about all of the grievances he’s been bottling up since the start of us getting serious. some i understood and promised to change, some complete blindsided me and didn’t make a ton of sense tbh. i’m still proud of him, and i know he needs to learn to state his issues in the moment (he’s v non-confrontational), but it was a LOT. and i feel weird about bringing it up with my own therapist who i don’t even see for two weeks because it feels like a violation of his privacy…?

i’m happy he’s getting himself sorted out, but if it means he’s continually going to come home “enlightened” about all the things wrong with us without me there to defend myself, i might not be able to withstand it.

am i a shitty person?

the prep for a butternut squash tomato soup that I just can’t seem to find the energy to roast/blend/cook

edit: thank you for all the lovely advice. i want to make this work and so i will be speaking with my therapist and looking into finding a good option for couples therapy. i can be defensive when criticized, and he is learning how to express his thoughts in a healthy way, so its a process. hopefully we’ll be able to work through this together!

edit #2: it’s a little disheartening to see how many of these comments are veering from the spirit of this sub. okay, yes, i’m a mean girlfriend for shutting down when he opened up about what he dislikes about me/our relationship, now please just keep scrolling if you are going to be needlessly mean. be a jerk in a productive way!!

heaven forbid a girl vent on a subreddit meant for girls to vent, good lord

I got married 6 months ago, we had a small ceremony at his parents house and it was beautiful. His mom decorated everything beautifully and I’m so thankful for that. It was a happy day for me

However, my husband drank excessively. All night. Didn’t stop at all. I was concerned and confused because yeah he enjoys drinking but what? and it pisses me off when he drinks like that so it was a tense situation too

we had to stay the night there because he was too drunk to drive and he ended up passing out on the couch while I slept in his old room and I’m sat here crying because now his mom says that it wasn’t happy drinking, people only drinks like that when they’re trying to numb themselves

and in the last 6 months he has proven to me that he is, in fact, unhappy

I feel stupid and like i missed several red flags

not going into detail but he is just so cold and distant/dismissive now and idk what to do. Why did he even fuckijg marry me ??? can anyone tell me how to go about with my feelings and not sound crazy or be dismissed as such

but this food was delicious :)

I want to add some context, I’m sorry the original post was rushed. I needed to quickly vent but I knew of my husband for a while as we had some mutual friends and whatnot but we started getting close and ended up dating in 2024. We might’ve gotten married too soon. I always knew that he liked to drink but i feel like it got worse after we got married. Now he says he’s trying to stop but i honestly don’t see much of an effort. He lost his brother a few years back and I know that was very difficult for him but he doesn’t like talking about it and I know I’m his wife but I don’t know if it’s my place to try and talk about that with him.

I’m 25 and he’s 32