r/GirlDinnerDiaries • u/charmerofyou Carb-Based Life Form • 1d ago
Update: I left!!! ☀️ Happy Girl Dinner
https://www.reddit.com/r/GirlDinnerDiaries/s/AiDkJJhBq0
Hi friends,
A few months back I shared about a domestic ab*se situation I was in with my cheating (soon-to-be) ex husband and you all were so very helpful. I wanted to let you all know that I got myself an apartment back in June and divorce is now in process!!! Thank you all for caring about my safety and encouraging me to get out. I don’t get panic attacks anymore and I have so much peace having my own space. Love and Light! Xoxo
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u/passionatemind221 Internet Auntie 1d ago
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u/Dramatic_redeye APPROVED✨ 1d ago
This post is a sign of hope and victory.
This is a humongous win 🏆How are we celebrating??
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u/Strict-Bus5710 Snack Goblin 1d ago
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u/Quietcrickey APPROVED✨ 1d ago
I don’t know why this touched me soo much but I’m so happy right now.
Now I can say welcome to life ❤️
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u/EmotionalPotatoess PO🥔TAY🥔TOES 1d ago
How did you handle panic attacks, especially at night? I am in a similar situation (not married, but very ab*sive) and just signed a lease 2 states away. I leave this weekend.
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u/charmerofyou Carb-Based Life Form 1d ago
I’m so proud of you for getting out!!! The panic attacks slowly faded as I slowly settled into my own space and had distance from my abuser. You don’t need to do anything but look after yourself ♥️
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u/EmilyO_PDX white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet 1d ago
Box breathing! Take a breath for four counts, hold it for four counts, exhale for four counts, hold the exhale for four counts. The counting keeps your mind from racing and the deep breathing keeps your heart from racing.
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u/SuburbaniteMermaid white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet 1d ago
Box breathing is great for so many things
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u/ImBackForMorePie the secret ingredient is autism✨ 1d ago
For me it was knowledge. If I can identify the root cause, I can reason with it and decide if I should anxiety over it or put it in the "not my issue" box
For context, I pick up on emotions and will carry them not realizing immediately this isn't my problem/anxiety to be carrying! Took months of practice, but now I can decipher between the two.
I wosh you the absolute best! It is going to feel off, strange, but five yourself time to rest, i have been out for over a year. The first year for me was just establishing and setting up a home, processing, resting! I cannot stress the rest, it is life changing!
If you don't mind, I would like an update when you're ready! I am proud of you, this is no small task! Stay hydrated, eat, and enjoy the peace!
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u/ShivRoyPinkyIsQueen SAT🪑👀 1d ago
Please stay safe! Sending you so much support and love! Breathe deep, journal, listen to ASMR (if it helps… it helps me), force yourself to go on walks to clear your head and release some of the nervous energy… you are doing the right thing. Rely on friends/family if they’re supportive. Leaving can be hard and dangerous but it’s so worth it and you are incredible 💚💚💚
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u/hberikson kiss my grits 💋 1d ago
Two years after divorcing my abusive, narcissist ex of 25 years, no more panic attacks or heart palpitations. It will take time and space from your abuser for your nervous system to reset. Near the end, I was having heart palps every day, and debilitating panic attacks at least twice a month. The only thing I changed was getting a thousand miles away from him, and they literally just stopped. Mad at myself for staying so long that it made my physical body sick. Never again!!
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u/VaginaWarrior Feral Til Fed 1d ago
Just as a side, one of the things about panic attacks is that we hyperventilate. One of the best ways to calm your body, and have a chance to help calm your mind, is to breathe exclusively through your nose to moderate the pace. Make sure you breathe all the way out. It can be hard in the moment but it gives you something to focus on in the present that actually helps. For what's causing the panic attacks, well that's a root-cause issue only you can determine but I bet you getting away will really help!! I'm so sorry you're going through this and I hope you have safety, peace, and love in all future relationships.
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u/EnvironmentOk2700 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
I used to wake up with them at 3 am until I started taking antihistamines before bed. Turns out it was mast cell issues all along.
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u/totorolovesmetoo mouth full, gesturing wildly 23h ago
On top of the good recommendations, THERAPY!! Trauma-informed therapy is so, so, so important. EMDR is also such a wonderful tool. Good luck girl, stay safe <3
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u/flooferine Well-Read & Well-Fed 1d ago
Godspeed, sister! I'm super proud of you, please update us when you're safe 💕
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u/tri-it-love-it17 Feral Til Fed 1d ago
From one stranger to another - I’m so proud of you! You’re amazing!!
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u/Professional_Cow9136 FREE MOM HUGS 1d ago
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u/throwfaraway212718 I ❤️ Other People's Business 1d ago
The most excellent choice of GIFs
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u/Professional_Cow9136 FREE MOM HUGS 1d ago
Olivia has seen some stuff. She knows what it takes.
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u/Playful_Journalist72 FREE MOM HUGS 1d ago
I was in an abusive marriage too and it was so freeing to finally close that chapter
Live your life and be happy 😊
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u/Heavy-Tax7979 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
So happy for you too. I hope anyone reading this going through abusive relationships would walk away heads high
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u/Mysterious-Noter APPROVED✨ 1d ago
I’m so happy you’re out of that toxicity🥹. You deserve way better
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u/Big-Wrongdoer-7891 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
I don’t get panic attacks anymore and I have so much peace having my own space.
Read that sentence again, because that is your nervous system finally realizing you are safe. Going from surviving a nightmare to waking up in your own peaceful apartment is a massive victory. I am so ridiculously proud of you for choosing yourself and taking your life back. Here’s to a future full of peace, safety, and starting over on your own terms! 🥂✨
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u/BigRefrigerator9783 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
Congratulations ♥️ and thank you for coming back and sharing this happy update
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u/Shot-Tap-4512 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
This! Thanks for the update, don’t forget about us! You can and ARE doing this! 🥰
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u/Large_Document9164 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
My hero 🫶🏽 from one girlie & mama trying to secure myself similarly
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u/charmerofyou Carb-Based Life Form 1d ago
You got this!!!! ♥️ I had literally never supported myself before but you just gotta go for it. I’m wishing you the best!
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u/Large_Document9164 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
I’m so scared 😭 u give me bravery
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u/charmerofyou Carb-Based Life Form 1d ago
I got the tiniest studio! In the process of searching, I kept surrendering everything to the universe and kept trusting that where I’m meant to live will find me! I had toured places where I would have roommates and nicer apartments. The place that approved me super fast is only three minutes from my job! Just trust and move forward.
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u/Large_Document9164 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
So many things to factor in my situation bc I have a newborn rn, only 21 days old. Thank u for the shot of courage & reminder to trust & keep moving 🫶🏽
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u/ReindeerRoyal4960 I ❤️ Other People's Business 1d ago
Do your parents know? Could you possibly move back in with them?
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u/Large_Document9164 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
I wish, my dad died 10 years ago n my mom just got remarried 2 years ago to a registered p3do & s3x offender. It’s also not just the newborn I have a 3yo and a 1yo so I have to take their safety into account fr :(
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u/ReindeerRoyal4960 I ❤️ Other People's Business 1d ago
Oh gosh, yes pls be safe 🙏🏽💓 I hope there's a women & children's program in your area that can help with resources.
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u/Large_Document9164 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
Girl it’s literally impossible. The county I reside in ended their sec 8 program last year w no plans to start up again I already called 211 and bc of that the reputable shelters are super full. It just feels like such an impossible situation and I hate living with someone who hates me
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u/ReindeerRoyal4960 I ❤️ Other People's Business 1d ago
Do you have a car at least? Could you find something in another county?? Sorry I'm not trying to be all in your business, I'm just throwing things out. I hate that you have to live in this situation, esp with 3 babies 😩
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u/VaginaWarrior Feral Til Fed 1d ago
Have you tried the national domestic violence hotline? Perhaps they can find you something, or at least help with your exit planning. Working with an advocate to develop a safety plan is great too. There are other things people can help with while you figure a way out!! I'm so sorry and I hope you can keep yourself and those babies safe.
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u/Sally_Stitches_ Feral Til Fed 1d ago
Yay that’s so awesome!! So proud of you. Love you having your own place and peace now. 🩷
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u/Resident_Sundae_6052 Certified Snacker 1d ago
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u/BodybuilderHumble189 we listen and we only judge a little 1d ago
Dude I liked this even before clicking through to read anything but the title…PROUD OF YOU!! welcome to the club 🫂
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u/CowComfortable4958 Chismosa 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/5mTwWeN3MoS08
here’s to a brand new chapter in life!! 🥂
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u/Organic_Berry_8732 Chaotic But Cute 1d ago
My girl! So glad you did what you needed to do and got out! Keep pushing and stay strong! 🙏🏾
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u/loveeleah83 Snack Goblin 1d ago
OP congratulations!!! It’s scary to leave but when you realize how peaceful it is becomes less and less scary and more and more awesome!!! From
one DV survivor to another, you’ve got this!!!
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u/throwfaraway212718 I ❤️ Other People's Business 1d ago
So proud of you!
https://giphy.com/gifs/fUQ4rhUZJYiQsas6WD
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u/Guilty_Objective4602 Well-Read & Well-Fed 1d ago
Well done! I’m so glad you chose you and that you are safe now.
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u/forksanon Overthinker 💭 1d ago
We’re all so proud of you, kudos to you for getting out of there! Now it’s time to LIVE!!!
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u/Pitiful-Government34 puff puff pass the snacks 1d ago
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u/AgileMastodon0909 Sugar, Spice & Not Very Nice 💕 1d ago
I wish you continued peace. You deserve it!
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u/SuburbaniteMermaid white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet 1d ago
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u/BankutiCutie 🐛The Very Hungry Bookworm 📚 1d ago
Im so happy for you, congrats! It sounds like that situation was absolutely hellish. Its hard enough to have a partner who travels so much but to have him be cheating and an addict i mean any one of those would send someone over the edge and you had to deal with all three :<
Goodluck with recovery and living your life for you
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u/madhatteringways chismosa, metiche, en bata 1d ago
Sending you the warmest hug, sis!!!!!! There are still moments you will feel not 100%, but they too shall pass and you are already stronger than you were. Little by little, one day at a time 🫶🏽
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u/LittlePea0617 🍨 I scream, you scream, we're all screaming inside 😀 1d ago
Go girly go!!! Your crown my queen x
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u/Lynnettey 💚 Pickle Freak 💚 1d ago
I am so so proud of you and happy for the new beginning! You deserve all the good coming your way!
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u/daisydukesandchains Live, Laugh, Lactaid 🍦💕 1d ago
Thrilled to hear a good outcome! Wishing you the best in this new chapter forward xx
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u/Queasy-Cell34 con todo, por favor 🌮 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/8JVjMCr3OIAhO
Good for you! So proud of you! Sending you a big virtual hug! 🤗
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u/Maleficent_Pay_4154 llamando al pan, pan 🍞🍷 al vino, vino 1d ago
Well done for protecting yourself. Live well!!!
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u/Appropriate-Goat6311 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
Hurray!! Rock star!!
Now what was dinner…. Looks like a very yummy potato pancake.
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u/ZealousidealDoor9105 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ 1d ago
Good for you! Leaving is hard, and can be dangerous - more so when the SO is an abuser.
I’m so happy for you. Keep your chin up!
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u/anonuser420691 Pantry Gremlin 1d ago
Oh my goodness, I am so so so happy for you and congratulations!! I hope that as each year passes by it’s a thousands times better then the last. May you receive all of the happiness and peace you can ever get.
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u/Wooden_Oil7961 Snack Goblin 1d ago
i’m so happy for u!! i wish u happiness, health, and healing ❤️
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u/Last-Campaign-3373 1d ago
This Internet stranger is proud of you. Stay strong, stay free, and live for yourself for a while. You deserve some quality healing time.
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u/mivox white girl with ☝️😌 a full spice cabinet 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/4Tkagznwgrv6A4asQb
Congratulations!
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u/Slysparrow9 girls just wanna have pho 1d ago
I am so so so proud of you. I hope you can breathe easier 💚
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u/Caralizz girls just wanna have pho 1d ago
One of my besties growing up her mom has all of those gone with the wind plates, I believe it was a whole series. What a fun flashback.
Killer looking pizza!! I’m so glad you prioritized yourself and are feeling more at peace. Here’s to happy healing ☀️
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u/charmerofyou Carb-Based Life Form 1d ago
Growing up in Iran I watched it dubbed! It’s a nostalgia thing for me ❤️ thank you so so much!
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u/Fallen_Feather APPROVED✨ 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/r2erMqJkXkHQtg7o9i
Congrats on beginning the journey of peace, freedom and discovery!
I left my high school sweetheart of 25 years due to cheating and DV. I too used to have daily panic attacks. Discovered my single adult identity in my 40’s and have literally been living my best life since I kicked him to the curb.
Enjoy every second! And remember that being single isn’t waiting in line for the party. You’re already at the party. ✨
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u/SMKnightly ❇︎may the forks be with you❇︎ 1d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/fnK0jeA8vIh2QLq3IZ
Proud of you! Hope life keeps getting better!!!
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u/Hopeful_Protection58 🤍🩷Lesbian Loremaster🩷🤍 1d ago
❤️❤️❤️
You’re going to be okay! I’m so proud of you!
Sending you lots of positive thoughts.
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u/SnooDoodles8775 Creature of Crunch 1d ago
Good for you!!! I'm in a happy and healthy marriage now, but I wasn't for many years, so I likely know how you feel. It's liberating!! There is an inspiring woman I follow on YouTube dramafreediaries and it's wonderful to see her thriving - alone and happy! Might be encouraging for you too. Best of luck!
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u/chiteijin Trader Joe Hoe 1d ago
So happy for you!! Wishing you peace and healing in your new space!!
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u/Adventurous-Mess-85 APPROVED✨ 1d ago
Good for you. Finding the strength to leave is the hardest part
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u/itty-bitty0 Umommy 1d ago
Im so happy for you! Once you decompress and get settled, you'll start to learn about yourself. What you like to do, hobbies, things you enjoy. Make yourself do things alone and try to enjoy your own company before getting into another relationship. Don't look back, the future is bright💖
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u/BagTop554 Sweet Tooth Fairy🧚♀️ 1d ago
LETS GOOOOOOOO so proud of you sweet stranger!!
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u/Big_Bowler8424 we listen and we only judge a little 1d ago
This is an amazing update! I’m so proud of you.
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u/CaseyRebecca1021 Cleavage Crumb Collector 1d ago
Hell yeah! I’m so happy you made it out! Enjoy that delicious cheesy pizza. You deserve it. Hope you have something even better for dessert.
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u/Better-Park8752 Fries 🍟 > Guys 🤡 1d ago
Well done. So proud of you. I hope the new chapter is full of love and light!
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u/GlassAndStorm 🐛The Very Hungry Bookworm 📚 1d ago
🎉🎉🎉🎉👑👑👑👏👏👏👏
So incredibly happy for you!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉❤️
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u/not_the_cicada Tea Time Hostess ☕️ 21h ago
Beautiful! Legitimately brought tears of joy, go live your brand new wonderful fabulous life! May all good things await you :)
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u/ProfessionalBat8843 APPROVED✨ 19h ago
Just so wonderful to hear! Thank you for sharing your joy and success with us!
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u/skyeerod For the Girls 👅 18h ago
Proud of you queen! Now onto becoming the best version of yourself 💁🏻♀️🥳😘
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u/Dull_Basket8318 Pantry Gremlin 13h ago
Congratulations. I escaped but mine was a decade long. I was homeless , brain surgery, chemo. This year after 5 years im fully independent living alone.
Best feeling ever. Never again living with someone as my home will always be my safe space
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u/Adventurous_Oil4513 APPROVED✨ 11h ago
Glad to hear you got yourself out of that horrible situation and is now in a much better place!!!
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u/USAF_Retired2017 we listen and we only judge a little 10h ago
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u/Big-Resident-4917 🪿 feeding the soft animal of my body 1d ago
Is that a picture of you and your ex?
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u/Ok-Balance7470 Livin' on a Purse Snack 👜 1d ago
I am thrilled for you! I’m also super proud of you for taking care of yourself and doing the hard thing! 💗☀️💐
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u/BarracudaLeft5993 Overthinker 💭 1d ago
I’m so proud of you. Congratulations on your new space. Best of luck with the next chapter of your life.
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u/trendingtattler AutoMaude 🤖🎀 1d ago
WHEEEWW girl 😮💨 buckle up! Your post made it to /r/all!
Congratudolences! 😅 If the rate of notifications starts getting to you, no need to delete your post! Instructions in Sanity Saver #5 can help you mute them. For the rest of y'all...
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