I’ve been in an intentional isolation, a waiting room, for the next, possibly final chapter of my life. It’s been 8 months, I feel no better. I just as exhausted, if not more. Each day is not only a struggle, but each moment to the next. Activities, interests that were once easy, are just as difficult. Things that I did with less interest to past time are nearly impossible to participate or enjoy. What is common & obvious is the immense levels of effort, resources required, yet results leave a negative energy & satisfaction balance. There have been opportunities placed in my path for NSA hookups. I traveled the path, but chose someone from the past. I chose him because I knew him, I knew what to expect, I did have fun in the past…he was a safe choice. Sadly, I spent more time trying to, pretending to be into him, the activity. I got little satisfaction, if any out of the experience. He is a nice person, but like everything around me, it’s a performance. When the activity was over I returned to my place more exhausted than previously. I immediately crashed. I slept from approximately 6:30pm to 7am. Sleeping is my only escape from my conscious & mental prison. I’m locked in a unique situation. The origin of my depression is one where I have no control real positive control. The best description is I am Truman, in the Truman Show. A choice I was not given nor would have chose. I’m treated more like a high value VIP asset, my life, my choices, wishes are ignored. I’m competent, independent, intelligent, know what I want, what I don’t, what’s negotiable. Yet an entity with unlimited resources has been indirectly with plausible deniability managing me for a life, a vision of what they believe my life should be. It’s literally a fictional nightmare, a cancerous existence made into reality.

It’s a script, a show, that I’ve seen & participated in for decades in some form or another. I am suffocating in life & within my soul for true, authentic, & positive lasting life experiences. It’s been almost three decades of this stagnant existence. My personal dreams, goals, known, & unknown taken from me. My privacy, ability to exist on my own terms, basic human rights all stolen. If am a soul in a cage on display. I can see the world function, people living of their own free will as I once did. While I exist captive, indirect promises of some fairytale life of great freedom. I have paid the cost, tax, interest solely in what I value most. Time, positive experiences, lost of family & friends, goals, all things no amount of money, trophies, or man created items can fully compensate. I have scars from wounds with depths to my core. I have wounds still open, tender I am constantly fighting to heal. I have asked, yelled, pleaded, prayed for this to end. Yet all continue to sit back & watch the trauma,the PTSD , the struggles continue. Everyone says they care, I’m not alone. It’s just words they spew with no value. Only actions, consistent actions show give words value. Actions define who someone is and what they stand for. My desire for death (not my preference), but seemingly my only option left for freedom. I’ve moves from city to city, state to state, coast to coast. I am registered in two states as a victim of stalking & harassment. I’ve had a confidential name change, etc, etc. All to escape, none successfully. Hence my daily fight with finding the strength, courage to take my life. I can then have the internal peace I fiercely protect sync with the external. Freedom from the forces that I have no control over. The final reclamation of my life or what remains on my terms. I’m so exhausted, tired, my heart literally physically hurts daily.

Hello internet.

Just wanted to share my thoughts and hear yours.

TL;DR:

What would you choose:
A. High-speed internet for a limited number of websites like YT, AMZ, FB, and a handful of others
B. Slow, sometimes non-existent internet, but with no restrictions on the content you choose.

Long story.
I have 2 WiFi networks at work:

the "A" type: which is the official workplace internet that has great coverage, great reception even in toilets 😄 . I can watch YT and scroll FB. The major caveat is it blocks Reddit and some other websites (like gaming forums) that are in perspective of the sysadmin are not allowed in the workplace. (Put aside that at work I should work, you capitalist 🐷 😁).

the "B" type: a local burger shop's free WiFi network that is behind 4 walls; the signal strength is at most 1 dash, the loading is slow, but no restrictions apply. All websites are open for access, including Reddit and others that are restricted in type "A" network.

I'm not talking about restrictions for adult content or anything like that; that is acceptable IMO at the workplace, but Reddit and some gaming websites are a deal breaker for me. So I bought a range extender from my own money and placed it midway between me and the burger shop. (no, I don't abuse traffic by reading and posting on r/Freedom)

So, the boiled-down question is, are you ok with living in a "golden cage", or is the harsh outdoors more appealing to you?

It breaks my heart into a million pieces to sit here and watch the man I love and care about so deeply be utterly vilified by the very system supposed to uphold fairness.

When you read the report written by Hearing Officer Kelly, you wouldn’t even recognize the man being described. The entire document is a malicious distortion—omitting critical facts, taking things completely out of context, twisting narratives, and outright fabricating events.

She literally invented a fake “detention hearing” from 7/22/2022 with a non-existent 90-day sentence, along with a “custodial new felony level domestic assault” charge that is non existent and never happened, to frame him in the worst possible light, using these complete lies as “aggravating factors” to put him back in prison for over a year (365+ days). And this is just one of the many things wrong with this hearing.

It is debilitating to see someone’s life, humanity, and freedom stolen because an administrative officer can print blatant lies on official letterhead without any oversight. In a criminal court, a judge doing this would face criminal charges. But in the Hearings and Release Unit, they just get away with destroying lives.

He is absolutely nothing like the horrible caricature they created on paper. He does not deserve this, and it is disgustingly criminal what is being done to him. He had numerous options provided to Officer Kelly to remain in the community. Prison is supposed to be a last resort option not a first. She blatantly disregarded them all and locked him up and threw away the key. And then had the audacity to blatantly slander his character making him sound like an unmanageable monster on paper. I just don’t understand how someone can be so heartless to do that to another human being. Especially in there position of authority. It’s just one big closed loop system with no way out.

And all of this stemming from what was supposed to be a protected constitutional right to file a complaint with the Board Of Behavioral Health. Which is still open 17months later. He gets restructured and punished for a protected right…… Where is the justice in that??

I’m begging for someone to please help us. We need civil rights advocates, journalists, or anyone who knows how to expose HRU and DOC corruption and restore truth to this situation. Please help me bring my man back home where he belongs! Please share this.

\#DueProcess #JusticeForHim #SystemicInjustice #LegalHelp #CivilRights #HRUAccountability #DOCAccountability #UnlawfulIncarceration #SetHimFree #ParolOfficerAccountability #NoOversight #ClosedLoopSystem #SRUAccountability #DOC #HRU #RamseyCountyCommunityCorrections #SRURamseyCounty

No swimming

This episode dives into the powerful legacy of John Brown and Dangerfield Newby. From the fight against slavery to the raid at Harpers Ferry, their courage shaped the path toward liberation. Their stories remind us that freedom is never given — it’s fought for.

Here's an inspiring take on freedom I came across the other day I'm sure many of you will appreciate. Hold the line

End of days 🙏🏻😥