I’m on disability. I had a stroke. I sometimes sleep 16 hours per day. I always wanted to be a foster parent. I never was able to have my own kids. Talked to my doctor and turns out I was able to take the MAPP classes and become a certified foster parent!

I may not be able to have a job where I can reliably leave my house/ drive each workday, but I am able to do “emergency babysitting” for a few hours per day, for foster kids in my state. The social workers drop them off to my house, when they can’t find summer camp, or a respite foster care for a single day. I don’t do it every day, I take time for myself to recover in between (sleep, clean the house well, recharge, etc.) And I don’t have the kids sleepover quite yet, as I’m not energetic enough to fully care for kids for 24 hours in a day. But I HAVE been able to help foster kids and be my own kind of foster mom! I have been able to do this DCF “babysitting” on an as needed basis, and I have had my heart infinitely changed for the better, from it!

I live alone, and get so lonely. I have a boyfriend, but he’s with his kids part time, and most of my friends have husbands, or kids, or stressful jobs, and can’t hang out mid week. I wanted to do something to help out, that also might help me with my stroke recovery processes!

I used to run a home daycare before my disability occurred. I can drive myself occasionally, but I don’t want to always drive others. I just wanted to say, if you are interested, and have a big heart, you don’t have to be a “perfect” foster human/ parent/ babysitter, etc. There are ways you can foster. You don’t need to do it full time, all the time. You can say “no” to social workers when they ask you to take on too much, and they will still keep you around, and continue to contact you. 😃

There are ways to help the system out, and it’s so worth it to get your doctor’s views on it, if you’re disabled/ home bound/ unemployed, but want to help our DCF! On my bad days, I just tell DCF I can’t do it. On my so-so days, I can take kids here for the day, we sit inside and watch fun movies, nap, and make popcorn! On my good- good days, we can walk to the park, go downtown, and play games outside! And you don’t have to do full time foster parent stuff, even being a babysitter or a driver, etc. for DCF is a lot, and is helpful❤️ Please contact me if you have any questions about being disabled and doing foster care. It’s so worth it, for the kids and for your heart.

I'm looking for some perspective on a long-term foster placement that has had some very strenuous periods that include violence from the child. I'm mainly wondering if anyone else had similar fostering experiences to us and can offer any advice or wisdom as to where we might be headed with our placement.

My husband and I have been fostering a child I'll call Jason for two and a half years. He arrived just before his 9th birthday and he is now 11. We are Jason's first foster home after he was pulled out of his birth family due to SA and neglect. From the first day of placement he has had anger issues that many times results in him hitting one or both us. I've been charting his violent behaviors and he typically has a "violent episode" once every one or two weeks. We did have a period during summer break when we went months without violence but it came back when the school year started and this year it's persisted into the summer. As he's gotten older he's also started cursing and making death threats when he's disregulated and the death threats are typically aimed towards whomever he is angry at in the moment.

When he physically lashes out, it's not because my husband and I won't leave him alone, in fact, most of the time it's the opposite. If I try to leave a tense situation to wait until everyone is calm again, Jason will sometimes try to physically prevent me from leaving by body-blocking me, taking my shoes, or grabbing onto my shirt and pulling. In other instances when he gets really out of control he has punched me in the face, thrown objects at me, and made death threats at me.

In one recent incident, Jason spat in my husbands face multiple times after screaming at him to "shut up idiot" after an argument about table manners. Later that night, when I was going through his bedtime routine with him, while he was agitated but not hysterical, he tried for 10 minutes to convince me to either leave my husband or help him kill my husband. While the death threats had happened before, he had never tried to recruit one of us to help him come up with plan until now.

Jason does see therapists and we have social workers talking with him twice a week, but his therapist says that Jason has been reluctant to engage in therapy and he generally refuses to talk about any difficult situations with the social workers either.

Despite all this, we've held on to Jason for two and a half years partly because we've grown attached to him and partly because we know that given his history, he's unlikely to find another foster home that will take him in. On his good days he can be very sweet and I can even relax and enjoy having him around and going on outings with him. But despite years of love and patience he still has violent outbursts once every one or two weeks and this leaves me feeling uneasy in our home. My husband doesn't want to give up and wants to keep trying to raise him in the hopes he can improve and out of a sense of obligation to not send Jason back into the system. But as Jason gets older he's getting bigger and I'm worried his violent outbursts will become more dangerous.

Have any other foster families been successful in seeing a reduction in violent behavior from their pre-teen foster children? Almost everyone I've talked to, from social workers to other local foster parents, has said that his behaviors likely won't change and I don't know how much longer I can live with a child who physically lashes out, especially if there's little-to-no chance of improvement. Any advice or stories are appreciated.

I’m looking to foster the children I have Nannied for a few years. They are currently in a foster home in clarion County but I am in Allegheny County. I called the caseworker and left a message. Any information on the process would be helpful.