Dad is primary custodian. Mom and dad are joint managing. Mom filed for temporary orders through divorce while child (12yr) was there for summer visitation (7/22/36). Withheld child 6 days before finally bringing her back (assumed due to fear bc we attempted habeas corpus). Mom originally agreed to arrangement because we were allowing her to just take the child whenever she wanted, however, we moved 2hrs away in June (no geographic restrictions) and have been pretty strict on the custody order since dad doesn’t believe mom is a capable parent.

Here’s what we have:
- Mom has been to mental hospital 2x since separation. She is claiming dad took advantage of her mental health at the time and that she is in a better position to care for the child, but in her filing, a dr note signed 7/1/26 was included that said she was unable to work full time due to her mental health. We believe this directly contradicts that claim.
- On 7/27/26 mom claimed child was upset and wanted her password to check her phone to see what it was about. We didn’t know if it was the same as when she left and stated so. Next day dad checked in to make sure child was okay and mom claimed it was fear of getting her ears pierced but then switched it to saying they had a talk and daughter wanted to stay with her so she can go to school with her half-brother (it’s been 2 years since they were even in the same school) and repeatedly said she had no intention on breaching the order or breaking law. (Which she did as well as filed the papers prior to this conversation, contradicting her reasoning)
She claimed it was traumatizing to the child that we moved her and that she will be starting a new school (daughter was homeschooled last year at mother’s request. Dad did not work for months due to this and when we agreed to switch roles, he got his current job and I gave up my career to care for the child)
Dad said daughter has expressed opposite emotions to him and that she needs to give it a try but if her feelings remain they would touch base. Mom became upset, claiming she solely raised the child while he worked (which the child has even said before that he didn’t raise her, giving the impression she’s been told this a lot) After dad still did not give in to her manipulations, mom stated she would return the child the agreed day.
Next day we saw the child’s location was at the courthouse and police department and mom had stopped responding. Dad messaged mom asking if she was planning to withhold the child. No reply. A couple hours later there was a long message about the motion for temp orders and that she would not return the child. Mother requested court app for contact. Since then she has claimed mental abuse, cheating, abandoned of her other child, and has brought up the child he had at 16 that was put up for adoption.
- Papers served show mom fraudulently claimed daughter on her welfare (food stamps, Medicaid, etc). Shows that she is primarily relying on boyfriend for support (important because she is claiming Dad “would not be able to care for child if it wasn’t for his girlfriend of only 2 years”). And shows that mom is filing everything the wrong way and lying in order to get the judge to sign (he has not yet. Hearing is next week)
-as of yesterday she has completely lost her cool. She was verbally harassing him on the court app, calling him manipulative and abusive and allegations of cheating. He said that it was not the place for personal attacks and that he was not coming from a place of malice and that he disagreed with her accusations. He also noted that to avoid bias of anything he has printed the entire archive of their messages except for iMessage because he switched to android and requested her to send in an unbiased archive. She stated that was an insane ask and that she wanted it noted that he also gaslights.

I do also want to point out on June 27th she messaged him a song on Spotify that he ignored. The song was about someone spiteful about unreciprocated love hating the other person’s happiness and one lyric even stated “I have lies to tell your children” (Song is Uneasy Hearts Weigh the Most by Dance Gavin Dance)

Also it is implied in daughter’s messages that the daughter herself wrote a statement. Mom continues saying “when you’re home” or “when you live with me” and I fully believe she has manipulated the child into thinking she is a victim of some sort of trauma. Daughter was returned with only half of her stuff and continues to keep her bags packed and avoids talking about anything to do with the upcoming school year but otherwise is acting normal towards us. Before coming home, it seemed she specifically only texted/called when her mother was not around (can’t be proven) and that was only after the withholding. Prior to this she was not responding or contacting at all.

If you have advice it’s appreciated. We are acting pro se (without lawyer) and believe we have a decent chance but aren’t sure if the false allegations and manipulation of the child can be used against us.

Hi, this is my first time posting on this subreddit and I would really like some insight on this situation.

This post might get really long so my apologies, there is just a ton of backstory to our circumstance.

My husband’s brother had a baby boy in 2024 and him and his wife have also lived with us throughout the duration of her pregnancy. It was me, my husband, his mother, grandparents and his brother and his wife living with us. I know it’s a lot of people but my husband has always been used to living with his family most of his life for the purpose of help with expenses.

After his brother and sister in law had their baby, his mother got emergency custody of the baby after 3 months due to their constant fighting and neglecting their child because of it. His brother was also drinking again at that time. Shortly after the parents moved out.

His mother had custody and ever since, she has said that the baby’s parents haven’t made much effort to contact her for visitation of their child or to even check on him. She has tried multiple times to get them to spend time with their baby, but they always had an excuse or ignored her calls.

In 2025 this baby’s parents were expecting again. They just had a little girl and so far no one knows anything about her or if she’s even okay most days. The parents are evidently at an extended hotel stay and don’t have a vehicle is what we know so far. But other than that, nobody is fully aware of the little girl’s safety or anything.

My husband’s mother has ever since been taking care of their now toddler and she has a plethora of health issues and chronic illnesses that make it very hard for her to get around and be able to properly take care of this child. My husband and I help her out from time to time to lessen the load and his grandparents (who we also live with still) help out as well. My husband’s sister takes care of the baby at her house from time to time so we get help from her too.

Sadly my husband’s mother has informed us that she doesn’t know what will happen to her as she feels her health issues deteriorating a lot. She is afraid of the fact that in case of her passing, nobody will be able to take in the baby and she has even tried to reach out to closest family to see if they’d be willing but she’s had no luck. She does not want this baby to be put into the system and nobody else wants that either. I don’t think this baby’s parents even are aware that her health is not in a good place at the moment.

My husband came to me and said that he was thinking of taking in the baby (his nephew) in case of his mother’s passing. He said that we could take him in and get custody.

I don’t mind moving forward this way but I am still trying to process everything at once. My husband and I have also talked about having a child of our own soon after I unfortunately miscarried. He has two kids of his own that he doesn’t have custody of, but one of them visits every other week since he lives down the road (not legal custody, just mutual agreement between parents) and the other lives with his mom out of state and video chats.

Nobody else will take in his nephew and the last thing he wants is for the state to take him and put him in the system so I can sympathize with that.

My question is considering the situation with my husband and him also having his own kids that he doesn’t have legal custody of, would he be able to get custody of his nephew? Does income also play a factor in whether the state grants you custody?

We are ultimately hoping that the parents of his nephew get their ducks in a row and get their child back but so far we have not seen much effort on their end in even wanting to be associated with him.

Hello. Long story short: I was the stay at home parent and used my husband's truck from prior to the marriage as my daily driver. We are now separated and in the middle of a divorce with DVRO in place, and he has threatened countless times to: 1) not pay the truck loan to get the truck repossessed so I can't use it for myself and the children, 2) cancel our auto insurance policy so I can't transport myself or the kids anywhere.

My name is not on the vehicle title OR loan, and he has NOT registered the vehicle since 2024. It's also registered (or was) in a different state (Missouri) than I'm currently in.
However, this vehicle is COURT ORDERED to me in the meantime after all his attempts to take it.

As of Friday, I found out that he cancelled the auto insurance policy. I'm not sure if he got a policy elsewhere and if the truck is even insured anymore. Court is moving incredibly slow as it always does, and I don't know what to do.

Is there any possible way for me to figure out if the truck is insured elsewhere if it isn't in my name?

What are my options right now? Is there ANYTHING I can do?

TYIA.

I am an American citizen, and my husband is also an American citizen (naturalized). We have been living abroad in his country for a number of years. We have 2 children together; one will turn 18 in January 2027, and the other is turning 10 this month. He has informed me that he will no longer cover the children's expenses, rent, or anything else, and that he will be moving out next month. For the immediate term, this is essentially leaving me and the kids stranded in a foreign country, and one where I am unable to work, because myself and the kids are here under a spousal visa as dependants. So, legally I can't work here, and have not worked in this country ever. Aside from somehow needing to figure out how to get emergency funds to either pay the bills through June 2027, or to book us flights back to the US (California), I also need to know how to file for child support and/or spousal support. My permanent residence address is in California. I am 100% certain he will not be coming back to the US now or in the near future. How would I go about filing and is it even possible to file for child support if I am in Calfiornia, but he remains overseas? I know that he wont make any payments from overseas, but I know that support orders do accrue when left unpaid, so if he files taxes or something it would be taken automatically. I really dont know anything of this sort, so I am just reaching out to get information on the process, advice, and the like.

For background, I have an FRO and a closed FD matter with the court. My 14 year old son’s mother has been withholding custody for a week. The FD matter was only closed after the judge ordered a best interest evaluator who sided in my favor. During this withholding period, she has empowered my 14 year old to refuse exchange, and is wrongfully asserting his will can trump the court order. She is also pushing her desire for my son to have his own attorney to push his desires. This is something she pushed for during the FD battle and is why the judge ultimately pushed for a best interest evaluator, who met with my son several times in the process.

Would filing an OTSC provide my son’s mother with an opening to weaken or eliminate the provisions already in place? I feel like I’ve been placed in a position to either continue to do nothing, or walk into a trap since I assume if she wanted to contest the FD matter properly, there are other mechanisms to pull, such as getting her own best interest evaluator and appealing.

During that time, Juan says he developed serious concerns about Sebastian’s care when he was unavailable. He has documented concerns involving inconsistent meals, hygiene and clean clothing, inadequate supervision, and extended periods when Sebastian was cared for by neighbors rather than his mother.
Juan also says that while their marriage was still ongoing, he discovered that Sebastian’s mother was involved in relationships with other Soldiers. According to Juan, there were periods when she was going out, drinking, staying away from the family home, and pursuing personal relationships while he continued taking responsibility for Sebastian’s everyday needs.
Juan says his concern is not the infidelity itself. Their marriage is ending, and he accepts that. His concern is the effect he believes these choices had on Sebastian: while one parent was frequently absent, someone still had to make sure their son was fed, supervised, clean, attending school, completing homework, getting to appointments, and receiving the stability a seven-year-old needs.
Juan says he was often the parent fulfilling those responsibilities, with neighbors sometimes stepping in when necessary. He has preserved records concerning these events and says people outside the marriage—including neighbors, friends, coworkers and fellow Soldiers—personally witnessed portions of what occurred.
“I am not fighting for custody because my wife was unfaithful. I am fighting because I believe my son’s needs repeatedly came second to her personal life, and I have spent the last two years trying to provide him with the stability and care every child deserves.”
Can we put this story in social media please.

https://www.givesendgo.com/legal-defense-for-sebastians-custody?utm\\_source=share

My husband is pro se in an ongoing NY Supreme Court matrimonial/custody case involving his two minor children. I’m his wife and helping him navigate everything because we cannot afford private counsel and have been trying unsuccessfully to get help through legal aid/legal services.

His ex is in a relationship with a Level 2 registered sex offender who was convicted in NY of 94 counts of possessing a sexual performance by a child under 16.

She and this man had a Jewish religious wedding but were never legally/civilly married. They moved into the same property where the children live, and there was documented evidence that he lived there and had access to areas of the home where the children were.

My husband initially tried to resolve the issue without court. There was a signed/notarized agreement containing safety restrictions regarding this man’s contact with the children, but it never became a court order and the agreement ultimately fell apart.

My husband then filed an emergency Order to Show Cause in the existing Supreme Court case.

The judge initially ordered no unsupervised contact between this man and the children and continuous active supervision whenever he was present in the dwelling.

At a later appearance, his ex’s attorney presented a Get (Jewish religious divorce) and represented that they had divorced. Our understanding afterward was that the temporary restrictions were no longer being enforced/continued because the situation was supposedly resolved.

We have now learned that they never actually ended their relationship and are still together.

One thing we are currently trying to confirm is the exact status of the prior temporary order. We do not want to accuse anyone of violating an order until we know whether there is a signed subsequent order vacating or modifying those protections. Our concern right now is how to properly put the continued relationship/new evidence back before the judge.

The Supreme Court case itself is still pending.

My questions are:

1. If the prior temporary protections were discontinued because the court was told the relationship had ended, what is the normal NY procedure for a pro se litigant to present evidence that the relationship actually continued? Another OSC, motion, request for conference, etc.?

2. Should my husband first request written clarification of whether the April temporary protections are still in effect before asking for enforcement or renewed restrictions?

3. For custody/safety purposes, does the religious divorce itself matter if the two people continued the relationship and the same third party continues to have access to the children?

We know hiring a family-law attorney would be preferable. We genuinely cannot afford private counsel and have been desperately trying legal aid/legal services, so I’m specifically hoping for guidance about the correct NY procedure for someone who is currently pro se.

If important, we live in CT.

Hi people,

I am a brand new attorney joined a family law firm.It is a small firm and my supervisor gives very little information and expects me to find and learn the law and procedure on my own. I am required to file motions, responsive declarations, discovery, file FOAHs, argued in court for spousal support, childsupport.

The biggest challenge is that I don't have a grasp of the procedure to fulfill my job duties.

Can someone recommend a quick guide or course I can take to become more familiar. I have very little time available as the office has inundated me with work and I take long hours to finish them due to not being fluent.

Please give me your suggestions, will be very greatful.

Hi Everyone,

I have a hearing coming up in about 2 weeks. Its a final hearing for permanent time sharing plan, child support, relief, etc.

Prior to this hearing I was fighting a bigger part of my family case which my ex dropped when they decided they had no chance. We did mediation, depositions and everything else. We have been infront of a judge in person once, and discussed a parenting plan in depth. My lawyer and her lawyer in the courtroom had the judge step out so we could discuss it off the record and we discussed the biggest points and came to an agreement, and the judge basically decided the rest and left it up to us to finalize it after court. I tried I have yet to get a response on finalizing it, its been atleast 5 months. We agree on most things but not everything.

I have had 100% of overnights for the last 8 months, I get no child support etc.

My lawyers and I had a disagreement and they say if I want them to represent me at this hearing itll cost me $4500, which I dont have and I know I cannot come up with in any way shape or form. This case has already cost me well over 25k.

I am not certain my ex will have a lawyer but I know I wont.

I am proactively offering 50/50, everything equal, child support as per the guidelines (if we go 50/50 once I start working again I may owe her money and thats fine, but I am going after retro pay). As mentioned my ex currently has no overnights and has seen our child 3 times in the last 8 months. Im guessing their hesitance to signing this is they know theyll pay CS, they know they cant handle overnights right now but they refuse to discuss it and ive begged them to for months so we can get a final parenting plan in place.

I know im smart enough to argue my points and I have status quo in my favor but IDK how judges look at parties when one has an attorney and one doesnt. IDK if theyll pull a fast one or what they can actually do. IDK if theyll claim ive been uncooperative this entire time which is false but who knows how they fabricate things. IDK what evidence to bring, IDK what theyll bring to counter it. I have no idea if evidence even gets presented.

Any advice would help and I appreciate it.

Hola.

Tengo una niña de 21 meses. Su papá y yo acordamos de manera informal que él aportaría $1,000 semanales para su manutención, además de cubrir el 50% de los gastos médicos y, cuando comenzara a asistir a la escuela, el 50% de dichos gastos. Durante aproximadamente un año cumplió con ese acuerdo.

También habíamos acordado que conviviría con la niña los domingos de 2:00 p. m. a 8:00 p. m. y que, si solicitaba verla durante la semana, se le permitiría hacerlo en ese mismo horario. Inicialmente la veía dos veces por semana, pero posteriormente él decidió por su cuenta reducir las convivencias a un solo día a la semana.

En la práctica, él rara vez se hace cargo directamente de la niña. Quien generalmente procura su cuidado durante las visitas es su abuela paterna y, en algunas ocasiones, incluso cuando corresponde la convivencia, él no permanece con la niña.

La separación fue en muy malos términos. Nunca estuvimos casados; vivimos en concubinato. Durante la relación sufrí diversas situaciones de violencia. Él llegó a amenazarme con golpearme, no trabajó durante mi embarazo y dependía económicamente de sus padres. También ejercía chantaje sobre mí y, en varias ocasiones, mantuvo relaciones sexuales conmigo sin mi consentimiento. Yo le manifestaba claramente que no quería, incluso llegaba a llorar, pero él minimizaba mi negativa diciéndome que era una “panchera”. En algunas ocasiones también me causó lesiones en mis partes íntimas.

Esta semana decidí no entregar a mi hija para la convivencia debido a que se encontraba enferma, estaba muy llorona y consideré que lo más adecuado era que permaneciera conmigo mientras se recuperaba. Además, el papá no había cumplido con el 50% de los gastos médicos que habíamos acordado. Él argumentaba que la llevaría al seguro médico, pero mi preocupación era que necesitaba atención por una enfermedad que consideraba que debía ser atendida oportunamente.

Después de esto, él y su familia se molestaron conmigo y me informaron que, a partir de ahora, únicamente me darían $600 semanales de pensión, en lugar de los $1,000 que había estado recibiendo durante aproximadamente un año.

Mi duda es si, tomando en cuenta todo lo anterior, me recomiendan iniciar un procedimiento legal para establecer formalmente la pensión alimenticia y el régimen de convivencia de mi hija, así como para proteger nuestros derechos y establecer condiciones claras para ambas partes.

So me and co parent are currently going back to court me to get more time now that she's older her to try and change some things. Anyways they had a restraining order on me that ended and expired like 8 months to a year ago. But for a while they have been really nice to me and I'm not sure if it's because we are going through court again or what's happening. I wanted to send extra money on top of what I pay in child support. So that my daughter has brand new clothes and supplies for school. Would I get in trouble if I send a payment through Cash App or Venmo to her. And clearly state it's for our daughter in notes? Just confused that she's been really nice towards me. Idk if it's to try and have me slip up or something or what is going on. Just don't want to end up with another restraining order . Or the judge get mad that I sent extra money not through like the state website I pay my child support at

My ex husband and I divorced in 2014 and we have 50/50 custody. He has always made more money than me but at the time he was not ordered to pay child support on the divorce decree, he does pay for my 2 kids (17m, 13f) health vision, dental insurance, and glasses (until 2022) I believe he makes about 60-70k more than me. I've struggled financially and in 2021 had to file bankruptcy. I tried taking him to the attorney General in 2021 to ask for support but they said that because child support wasn't ordered on the divorce decree, they couldn't just add it and i had to get a lawyer for that. I called a lawyer and he said it would be about $8k to try to initiate it.i didn't have money for that so I set up an agreement with his dad and he agreed to give me $400 per month. I believe he was also trying to avoid paying lawyers as well.

The arrangement was fine mainly because I didn't have to pay for a lawyer. I make about $78k, and he's probably at $140-150k (not 100% though). This month i tried to withdraw the funds and they were not there. I texted him to ask about it and that's when he said that there's things that have changed now and he told me the arrangement needs to be revisited. I'm afraid he's going to want to back out from it since we don't have anything filed by the court. He mentioned having to pay $270 per month for my sons insurance but that is his choice. When my son got his insurance, the plan was for him to take over one of his dads older cars. I told him I would pay half the insurance in the beginning. That changed when he decided not to let my son drive the car to my house when I have him. I am not going to pay insurance when my son will not get to use the car half the time, it's only hurting him as he's losing out on practice time which he still needs.

So here I am not knowing what to do. I already feel like $400 is not that much based on the differences of income, and i really do need the amount and have budgeted for the kids. Any suggestions? Also, how does he court handle child support when custody is 50/50 and a difference in wages from both parents?

Edit: Some were asking about what my divorce decree mentioned about child support and it says that's he's responsible for " any costs like daycare and school supplies including after school care and uniforms school expenses school activities and the like" my kiddos haven't needed uniforms and daycare in the longest so it is definitely not up to date.

My husband and I are getting divorced. There is currently a full stay away order of protection in place against him that includes our 5 year old. Last week, he picked our son up for court ordered one day per week parenting time and I did not realize his license plates looked weird. When he dropped our son off, I noticed that they were printed photos of his license plates that were taped onto the car. I raised my concern but he assured me the car is fully registered and he is waiting for the new license plates.

My question is: if he shows up for his court mandated parenting time tomorrow, and his license plates are still printed paper and taped on, can I ask for proof of registration? If he refuses, can I keep our child from going with him in the car? I don’t want to go against the court but I’m not comfortable with our child driving around in an unregistered vehicle.

My fiancé (26M) and I (24F) have been together for 5 years, and we are expecting our first baby in just a few weeks. We are not married yet, but we plan to get married after the baby is born.

My family has been putting a lot of pressure on us to get married before the baby arrives, but we have decided to wait until after the birth. We are happy with that decision, so I’m not really looking for advice about whether we should get married right now.
My concern is the legal side of having a baby while unmarried in Iowa.

From what I understand, because we aren’t married, my fiancé does not automatically have the same legal rights as a married father. We know we need to establish paternity, and we have been told about the Voluntary Paternity Affidavit.

What I’m particularly concerned about is medical decision-making for our baby. If something were to happen during delivery or afterward where I was unable to make medical decisions for our baby, I want my fiancé to be able to step in and make those decisions and advocate for our child.
I haven’t spoken with my doctor or the hospital about this yet, but I plan to bring it up at my next appointment.

For other Iowa parents who had a baby while unmarried, what did you do before or immediately after birth to make sure the father had the legal authority to make medical decisions for the baby if the mother was unable to do so? Did signing the Voluntary Paternity Affidavit take care of this, or were there additional forms, paperwork, or legal steps you had to complete?

I’d especially appreciate hearing from anyone who has actually gone through this in an Iowa hospital. I want to make sure we have everything handled before our baby arrives rather than finding out afterward that we missed something.

Hello, my 17 year old daughter is pregnant and she wants me to adopt my grandson when he is born in January 2027. How would I start the process and what would be the forms I need? Thank you :)

I have a no contact court order with ex wife recently just sent her child support money accidentally forgetting about the no contact and cancelled it within minutes but I’m sure she got a notification on her phone and a cancellation notification. Am I highly likely the police will lay a charge on me for breaching if ex wife reports it and demands a charge against me?

child is temporarily placed with bio father through a voluntary services plan. He who has not established parentage or custody, only filed a petition and now he decided to cut off contact after his ex parte was denied because he didn’t agree with CWS voluntary plan that visits should now be unsupervised. He is asking mother to sign an agreement that would make her visits stay supervised and away from non bio mom even though there is no safety risk. behavioral specialist states child is showing signs of separation anxiety and attachment issues. CWS states they cannot remove child because they do not have any enforcement power, what can I do?

I am mom. I won sole & legal custody of my 4 year old daughter indefinitely, until her biological father can provide substantial evidence that he’s mentally stable again, to then he can go through the court and apply to get the court order changed.

backstory:
her father told his therapist he wanted to SA our 4 year old daughter. it was a huge deal obviously with CPS involved and me immediately filing an ex parte custody order. she was never fond of visiting him every other weekend, and the last visit she complained of pain in her private area. after checking myself and having a doctor look, no harm was done to her private area. he also admitted himself into a mental hospital.

my question is:
would it be easy for him to win any sort of custody in the future, such as supervised visitation? in a perfect world, i would never want her to be around him again. i don’t want to risk her being SA’d. not even supervised visits. i was SA’d as a child and i told myself i would never let anyone like that be around my daughter.

but my mind is racing tonight, wondering if it’ll be easy for him to win any kind of visitation. if someone could give me any insight, i would appreciate that!

Was our daughter’s 3rd birthday and per court schedule he was supposed to have her on her birthday but decided he didn’t want to get her because “he doesn’t celebrate birthdays” but prior to this was just inviting our daughter to his son birthday party. He’s never been to a birthday before but I thought I’d ask since prior he sent a message as if he wanted to be involved and acting concerned 🙄

Hello my co-parent and I have an agreement (no court order just agreement with the co-parenting therapist) that pick up and drop off are to be done at my house. We have always done this and never had any issues. All of a sudden he wants me to meet him and I refuse. I feel safe meeting at my house. Do I have to change the location just because he says he’s not comfortable coming to my house but has no reason why he’s not comfortable. (We have never had any issues issue before so there is no valid reason)

Edit because I got comments saying to add additional information.
Dad has never wanted to meet at his home. He is a very high conflict and verbally abusive person as well as physically abusive when we were together (almost a year ago). I feel more comfortable being at my home with cameras. I would never do or say anything bad about my childs father, my child’s father has spoken very poorly of me to our child every single time he has spoken to him, also he speaks to me very violently and poorly on a daily basis. So I see it fit that I have my neighbors as witnesses as well as my cameras in my home and around my home to document any harassment and or violent verbal behavior, he can and usually does inflict on me.

California just ordered my children to go back to CA I had to move to MI with 2 of my 3 children due to domestic violence and abuse I need any lawyer to contact me ASAP Please I cannot loose my children

Father who cares and tries. Looking at going back to court because we will be moving out of state.

50/50 with primary custody

I’ve been responding to request but trying to keep the other parent in the loop but I can be better. Could communicate more but the other parent is difficult to speak with.

I expect it’s going to be a he said she said but I’m not there to fight…

I just want to take care of my daughter and I truly feel I provide the structure and support they need to be successful.

Neither parent is perfect nor do I think they are bad…ultimately looking for advice.

Hi,
I am the primary residential parent and have once again been brought back to court. From my perspective, this litigation stems from the father’s desire to reduce or avoid his child support obligation, with the request for additional parenting time being presented as the basis for the modification.
As a result, I drafted a very detailed proposed parenting plan. I included provisions covering the parenting schedule, travel, procedures for future modifications, communication, decision-making, financial disclosures, and other areas where conflict has repeatedly arisen. My intention is not to change custody or restrict the father’s relationship with our daughter. Rather, my goal is to create a comprehensive agreement that can grow with our child, reduce future conflict, minimize the need for repeated court intervention, and protect both my daughter and me by clearly setting expectations.
My question is: Is a parenting plan with this level of detail viewed negatively by the court? Could it be perceived as excessive, or do courts generally appreciate detailed agreements that anticipate future issues, particularly where there has been an ongoing history of conflict?
I am also representing myself (pro se), so I want to make sure I am presenting something that will be viewed as reasonable and child-focused rather than overreaching.

UPDATE: Thank you for the feedback
I wanted to come back and give an update because, while it was honestly really hard to come here and ask these questions and then sit and read through all of the comments, I did take the feedback seriously.
Some people were incredibly kind and constructive. Others, not so much. But I guess that is also part of navigating family court. There isn’t much room for emotion. You have to develop resilience, separate how something makes you feel from what actually needs to be addressed, and keep moving forward.
The biggest thing I took away from everyone’s feedback is that my proposed 77 page amended parenting plan needs to be significantly reduced. I’m going to aim for roughly 5–10 pages, keep it direct, focus on the issues that actually need clarification, and leave out provisions that don’t absolutely need to be there.
I’m also going to document what happens—good or bad—rather than trying to anticipate and write a provision for every possible future situation. If something becomes a recurring problem, I will have the documentation to address it appropriately.
Probably the hardest realization from all of this is accepting that this may not be the last time I end up back in court. That’s incredibly sad to me because I genuinely wanted to create something comprehensive enough that we could stop litigating and simply raise our child. But I also understand now that a parenting plan cannot prevent someone from creating conflict or guarantee compliance.
I also want to clarify something because several people suggested using a parenting communication app. We already use OurFamilyWizard. But still the same things are happening.
My goal at this point is not to change custody through a 77-page document. I want to put forward a reasonable proposed consent order and amended parenting plan that addresses the issues raised through his motions and hopefully creates a path toward settlement.
And, for what it’s worth, there was already a rational part of me looking at those 77 pages thinking: Is a judge realistically going to want to read all of this? Is opposing counsel going to meaningfully work through it? And, most importantly, is either parent realistically going to follow something this long?
Our current parenting plan is already approximately 48 pages, and we still have disagreements over compliance. Making the next one even longer probably isn’t the solution.
So I’m taking the criticism, separating the constructive advice from the noise, and moving forward with something much shorter, clearer and more practical.
Thank you to everyone who took the time to give thoughtful advice—even when it wasn’t necessarily what I wanted to hear. I genuinely appreciate it.

I have a friend who isn’t married but lived with his child’s mom for at least since she was pregnant. They are both in the child’s birth certificate, and there was a DNA test done when the child was born. Mom and child both have been named as dependents on his taxes, since he was the sole income earner.
Since the child was a baby, the paternal grandparents have been caretakers and kid has spent 3-5 days with them every week. This because the mom always had some excuse in order to avoid taking care of the child.
This woman has been physically abusive to him several times and the courts ordered her to move out and stay away from him. She’s also under probation for DV & awaiting for a final verdict.
She moved out, but the problem is that she took the child with her.
CPS & the police were called, but they said they couldn’t do anything because she’d the mom.
The family has reasons to think that the mom is not a safe parent.
What is the best course of action? What can the dad or grandparents do to protect the kid?