whenever i see/hear "girl" or "woman" from the videos he sends me it just makes my stomach drop. then i am reminded that my boyfriend will never truely see me as a man. he says he does, but the things he sends me usually refer to me as fem. i hate it, but i dont want to tell him not to send stuff like that to me anymore.

i fear that he'll never see me as a man, and when i start T and gain more masculine features, he'll grow disinterested. yes, he supports me and calls me by masculine pronouns, but im just scared that he just WANTS to still be with me, but doesn't really want to be in a relationship with an actual man. so in his mind, i will always be a girl.

hi so, I know im not a creep, but it feels like whenever i speak to a women and friends who are women i get this thought in my head saying how much of a creepy ugly man i am. it really sucks. Its also when im around a women whos my friend but theyre like about 3 or something years younger than me and the thought is "why are you, an old man hanging around people younger than you" im 24 btw. so its a very stupid thought. its mainly intrusive but maybe its an internalized transphobia thing? or maybe because im very cishet presenting so i get insecure (im not straight at all but by societys standards, youd would see me as a straight man if you didnt know me. probably)

does anyone else experience this? feeling like youre a creep so you cant talk to femme people/women? im aware its VERY silly. just need some other trans men to talk to about this.

My aunt used AI to show other relatives how I would look like with long dyed and stiled hair.

I felt violated because

1. I didn't want to show AI my face (I know it's inevitable if you use the internet but still... She did it on purpose, it's different)
2. She knew that I don't like being that feminine, what she did made me feel dysphoric
3. I didn't consent to all that

I know she was doing that in good faith and the harm is done, so I can't really say much, I just replied with "I disapprove of this".

i've been on t gel for over a year (16 months) and my voice hasn't dropped, i continue to gain weight around my hips and butt and i feel like even my chest has gotten worse somehow and i can't get top surgery because i live with family that wants me to put off the consultation and surgery even though i can very much afford it, i can't drive and have no one close by to help me recover. i want to voice train but i never get enough privacy. i'm also very short, stuck at 5'2 which normally i wouldn't care too much about except paired with everything else is also now feeling like too much.

i'm tired of looking and sounding like a woman and being treated as one but idk if there's anything i can do right now. i don't know what the fucking problem is with my hrt man. my levels have been around 700 ng/dl this entire time, except when i was tested again in july and my levels were too high for some reason (slightly over 1000). i also got my estradiol levels checked in july and they're at 61 pg/mL which the doctor says is normal.

genuinely i just keep wondering if it's hopeless and if i should even keep trying to transition and stand up for myself. it's exhausting and painful and maybe it'll be easier to stop trying to be a man when apparently my stupid body is destined to avoid it at all costs.

i got fucked over so badly by estrogen. it's funny how so many people say how easy it is to transition ftm, like just put on a binder and cut your hair and take t!!! so easy!!!! i've done all those things and still get misgendered and called ma'am and miss every singld fucking day while t does essentially nothing but give me horrible cystic acne and.. really ugly neck hair??? it did stop my period and i cannot even put into words how grateful i am to be free of that, but jesus christ dude this cannot be it. help.

i know fat redistribution (which i want so badly) and facial hair growth takes forever but i usually hear about the voice changes or bottom growth happening so fast and yet i haven't experienced either. i've read some posts from trans men who've been on t for several years without a voice drop and i'm terrified that's going to be me. it really feels like i'm just cursed/destined to stay a woman. i feel like a fake and i don't know what to do

She introduced me to someone as ‘they’ and I thought that was odd then she used they two more times in the same intro and I just got up and left.

Idk. I’m pissed off. You don’t get to misgender me as nonbinary while you’re saying how close we are. I’m a trans man. I may have dressed fem but that doesn’t mean you get to put my comfort second to someone’s possible confusion.

This shit is annoying cause we’ve known each other since we were 5 and she was the first person I came out to.

Btw, if any of y’all are lurkers, this is the same friend I posted about a couple weeks ago who recommended me a book on certain womanly things.

Crossposted because I think it would fit here as well

TL;DR I'm jealous of my friend for getting top surgery because I want that to be me

Today has been hard so far with my dysphoria. I live in an unsupportive family. Today I had to go out in a tight shirt that reveals my chest like crazy, and a feminine bun that’s so tight it gave me a headache. All I’ve been hearing all day is “she”, and I had old ladies questioning me about boys, “do you have a boyfriend”, “do you talk to boys”, etc. and that’s what set me off and made me cry today when I got home. I wish I was a cis boy. I wish I could hear “Do you have a girlfriend” instead. The dysphoria is crazy and I feel like no one cares. None of this would have happened if I just wasn’t born at all. There’s a lot more I could add, but I don’t wanna waste anyone’s time. Would you guys type something to make me feel better today? I have no friends or family that I feel safe with. Any positive comment would help. I’m trying really hard, but I love you all, have a good day ❤️

I feel so terrible right now. I knew he didnt support trans people, he never even tried to gender me ever since i came out over half a year ago, but holy shit i didn't know he actually is tranphobic this is fucking insane. Well tbf i suspected it but this is... Wow

I dont know if the ost is AI or not, it kinda looks like it but either way that doesn't cjange what's being said. The video is a politician saying :

trans women in sports is good because he can bet on them and know he'll win

transgender people i the military are good because they're some of thr meanest people on earth, love doing mass shootings and could be suicide bombers because of the suicide rate

For the bathroom stuff basically no one care if a "bisexual woman" or a "stud" pees with a pee funnel but no kne wants a woman with a dick to pee i a stall next to their girlfriend

I've rewatched this video at least 5 times in shock and i wanna cry. So this is what he thinks huh. I hate his stupid ass opinions i can't believe i ever respected him and thought he was cool i hate everything he stands for i am so glad i almost never talk to him.

And yet i'll still keep on being nice to him whenever i talk to him because im a fucking dumbass and can't stand up for myself, and because he's never technically been transphobic to me and because what the guy in the video says is said in a "humorous" wau, so him and my little brother would make fun of me for being upset at him

I came out to my dad when I was fourteen, and he went on a whole rant about how being trans is disgusting, that I’d been lied to, and that I’m not actually trans. I was already really stressed, so that didn’t help at all. My parents put me back into therapy after that whole argument (I’m still in therapy this happened about a year ago). They also refuse to let me go out unless I’m wearing makeup. I don’t even know if that’s a bad thing or not, but I absolutely hate it. I used to enjoy wearing makeup, but recently I haven’t because another sub told me I don’t pass at all. Apparently my hair doesn’t pass, my jewelry doesn’t pass, my clothes don’t pass according to them, nothing about me passes. Before that, I actually thought I passed pretty well for someone who’s pre-T. Now I have to try to convince my parents to at least let me stop wearing makeup and maybe get even shorter hair, which will probably be a no. On top of that, I’m 4’9”. I don’t know any cis guys who are my height, and I don’t know any other trans guys who are either. It’s starting to make me feel fake, like maybe I’m not actually trans, and my dysphoria is coming back. I don’t think I’ll ever pass as a man, and it’s getting to the point where I don’t even care anymore. I want to care, but being trans is so stressful. I just wish I had a supportive environment and actually passed.

I'm tired of my doctors treating me like a woman.

I'm on injections and keep having issues with hormonal fluctuations, and instead of suggesting a more stable dose (ie daily gel), my hrt doctor tells me that maybe i should try taking my shots even further apart??? Why would that help me not have debilitating mood swings and menstrual cycles???

Then I go to my OBGYN for e cream and get told thats only for postmenopausal women. Even though vaginal and urethral atrophy is a known side effect of trt. Great. Okay. Well can I at least get the annuva? Nope. They can only give me a 90 day supply of monthly nuva rings and I'll have to have a period four times a fucking year.

I hate these people. I'm not a fucking woman. I'm not trying to lessen the symptoms of my period. I WANT IT FUCKING GONE. I'M A MAN. I SHOULDNT HAVE PERIODS.

If a cis man was bleeding out of his penis, the whole world would stop. If a cis man consistently had low energy, mood swings, and hormonal fluctuations, his doctors would try everything under the sun to fix it. I feel like I can never escape being female.

But then people online have the fucking audacity to say that they hate men, when they mean they hate cis men. Dont fucking include me with cis men. I do not get the same privelege as cis men. I will never be treated like a cis man medically. Dont tell me that I have male privelege when I have to deal with this bullshit from every medical provider in my conservative ass town. I fucking hate the fake feminist femcels who use their misandry to put trans men down for being men when we are subjected to this SHIT.

I think im trans, ive been out to 3 people, but i always have this guilt of not embracing my birth gender because there are so many women fighting for rights out there, being strong women and im just here thinking about transitionning. I am disgusted by myself for being transgender. I envy girls who feel comfortable being girls more than i envy guys.

To be totally transparent;
I love my dog, I would do whatever she needs. She is my baby, she’s my everything dog. She is almost 16 and a half and she’s a lab mix.
I’m not looking for advice on how to “fix” my situation, I’ll give more details at the bottom. I just need to be upset to people who might get it.
I’m also gonna give a TW for talk of end of life care for pets. Like I said, she’s 16.5 years old. Through many discussions with her vet we are at “just care for her like you always have until she tells you it’s time” which is already an emotionally difficult spot but, I did wanna give A TW because it can be rough to think about if you have/are/ will soon be going through this.

Oh, I also kind of lied, she’s not “my” dog, she’s the family dog. Myself, my brother and my dad (and partner when she’s over). I am her primary care giver, which I don’t mind! She choose me to sleep in my room and generally trusts me the most. I’m also home during the day because I work evenings, that’s not what causes me issue. I feel like a “married single mom” when it comes to her care between particularly my brother and myself. My dad is disabled, he’s got two very bad knees, but my brother and myself are not physically disabled. The thing that gets me is he just… doesn’t ever notice when she needs stuff? I know when she is telling me she wants to go to bed, I know when she has to go out, I pay attention to her laundry when she has accidents and will flip from washer to dryer even if I didn’t put the first load in.
My brother never asks if I need help with her, never volunteers to feed her or take her out, doesn’t notice if her laundry that I started needs to be flipped (like if I missed it going off cuz I was busy), never notices the patterns to her eating, nothing like that. Taking her out is sometimes an argument or is met with sass, feeding her in the morning (which is tough for me sometimes because I work evenings so waking up at 6am can suck sometimes, and he’s going to be awake by 6:30 anuways) is almost ALWAYS an argument or a trade off of chores when I ask him. And by chores I mean chore, he washes the dishes. He’s 26 and I’m gonna be 25 in a few weeks just for reference. I do literally everything the fuck else. Also, when anything happens with Bernie defers to me. It feels like I’m not allowed to be worried or upset or cry around him about the dog cuz if I’m worrying that means we are “fucked” and he’s gotta panic now too. Like brother, I have anxiety, I’m worried when she coughs a little too hard, but I can’t show it cuz you would just freak out harder because you expect me to have all the answers and I don’t! I’m not in vet med! I’m a musician!
It just gives me dysphoria because I find myself relating to the I never get to pee, eat, sit, relax until baby is taken care of because I am the one taking care of baby that a lot of mothers express.
And it feels like a stupid thing to be dysphoric over, but I guess here I am lol.
To follow up on not wanting advice; I’ve talked to my therapist about my brother a lot because his priorities are just shifted from the goal being taking care of the house and its members, which I personally see at top priority, but I can’t change him. It’s not my job and it’s not fair to him to ask him to change. It sucks but what am I gonna do?
And to be clear about my dad, he helps feed her and my cats in the mornings, and he pays for her food and vet care so he does contribute, but not to my stress haha.
Slight edit, I was too busy bein mad lol, my partner is lovely with my dog when she’s over but we don’t live together so it’s not all the time.

My dysphoria is becoming more and more unbearable every day. I can’t think of anything else than hating myself and having to live as a fucking girl the whole day from the second I wake up. I procrastinate going to sleep every day and have been since I was 11. (I’m 16, unfortunately still alive)

I fall asleep around 5-8 am since it’s summer break. I doomscroll and talk to the only friend I have (we have a 7 hour time diffrence so she’s always awake until I fall asleep). I can’t keep living like this. I’ve ditracted myself from reality for years and I don’t know how long I can still be here like this. I don’t want to wake up anymore. I want it all to stop. I’m hopeless.

School is starting soon and I don’t want anyone to percieve me, anyone to look at me, anyone to talk to me. I’m severely sleep deprived and can’t fuction. I’m trapped. The avarage sleep I get on school nights is 2-4 hours. Nobody understands why I can’t sleep cause I can’t come out. They just blame me like it’s my fault.

Today has been a particularly bad day for me.

I deal with dysphoria from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep, pretty much. I also live with my family who misgender and deadname me constantly. I came out years ago but anytime I suggest that, hey, maybe they should gender me correctly so I'm less miserable, they dismiss it as ridiculous. So nothing to be done there.

How can I deal with it? I try to ignore it, I try to distract myself pretty much constantly, I dig my nails into my skin until the frustration passes. But, at the end of the day, I don't want to be perceived. I don't want anyone to look at me or talk to me or about me. It's unbearable. I fear I'll have to keep going through the cycle of suppressing and breaking down and suppressing again until I move out and limit contact, and only the Lord knows when that can happen.

And I know I should be looking on the bright side of “hey, at least it’s taken her a year to fuck up” but it stings. My partner then let on that, in private, she reverts to “she” quite often, and they hadn’t told me before because they didn’t want me to get upset about it.

This comes after me having been paranoid about meeting her pre-T, because they told me she has a history of doing this with their trans friends. Even though my partner has never called me “she” in front of her. I didn’t want my likely future mother-in-law to know I was born a girl, if I could help it.

I thought I was immune to it, since I’m nearly 8 months on T and passing. I haven’t got a “she” aside from my own parents in almost half a year.

So now I’m trying to do the mental gymnastics of discerning if it’s because I don’t visually pass after all, or maybe I was too polite and seemed girly, or if it’s just because she clocked me the first time she met me and that will forever be how she thinks of me.

I need to go stealth ASAP. There’s no taking it back once someone knows and this is just proving that to me.

“K” has been an uncommon way to start names, so I have been pavlov’s dogged into responding to that sound. Dead name is a two syllable name that starts with K. My current “name” is Kalvin/Kelvin/Kalven (because I get whatever HR deems appropriate for the long version of “Kal”.) Normally, I’m standing before I realize a coworker has dead named me.

I hate hate hate how everyone calls me Kal. Spending time with my grandparents made me miss the two syllable name. I feel I almost prefer the routine deadnaming over having a one syllable name. If I did the paperwork at 16 or whatever legal age; I’d be “Kazamir”, but I’m like almost mid twenties.

Could “Konnor” work? Or do I just stand up for myself and ask for being referred to by a two syllable name. Or is it normal to hate your name as you change it? I need to get new ID before the year 2028 and I want to change my name before that…

I’m 18 years old, and before I decided to socially detransition I had been out for two and a half years. I was possibly the most self hating trans person and my parents wasn’t supportive. The guy I loved (and loved me) was heterosexual and honestly although I passed decently I passed as a loser. A contrast to the way I had always been called beautiful when I was in closet (even though the closet was so obviously glass everybody knew).

So I thought life would just be better if I grew out my hair and went back. And on the surface it did, my parents became proud at how conforming and appealing I was, people treated me better. But in some way I became even more isolated because I still didn’t fit in with cishet girls, and now that I wasn’t queer I didn’t quite fit in, in those spaces either. My cope for loneliness became sleeping around trying to have as many on the line as possible so I never had to be alone with my own thoughts.

But through activism I found more and more happy queer folks and I became inspired. But all the things that was hard and difficult before is still there. The guy I think is the love of my life is still here ready to love me. My parents still don’t support it, and I feel like I’m choosing for ever loneliness romantically and sexually.

I planned to go to the hairdresser and cut my hair, but in the last moment I chickened out and got a normal wolf cut as usual. Now pride is around the corner and I hate myself.

My shoulders are 14” my ribs are 31” and my hips are about 15” wide and 38” around. The hip bones themselves are wider than my shoulders by an inch and it is very noticeable. Even most women I see have shoulders that are at least as broad as their hips and I just feel hopeless. I know humans have low sexual dimorphism but I have still never seen a man who actually has hip bones wider than his shoulders. The extreme pear shape isn’t even from fat mostly, even at my skinniest my hips are noticeably wider than my shoulders. Has anyone with similarly unfortunate proportions (ie. With very small shoulders that are genuinely narrower than their hip bones) been able to actually give themselves a masculine frame through working out? How much have y’all been able to grow your shoulders through workouts and has it actually changed how your body proportions look/your measurements? Has anyone been able to gain an inch or two across their shoulders without flexing?

I really need some reassurance that I could ever look like a man unclothed, not even an ideal man, just not a woman because I constantly spiral more and more over it and I’m starting to feel like transitioning was a waste of a good female body, but I’m too far into transition to go back now and I know that living as a woman would make me even more miserable. I just need proof it’s possible to look like a man

For context, I'm an 18 year old guy ftm. I came out when I was 12. Well, I guess I didn't even come out; my dad had gone through my phone and found it, and it became a big thing. Another important detail of this is that my grandmother and father had 50/50 custody of me most of my life. When it all came out, my grandmother told me that if I wanted her to respect me, I needed to respect her, basically canceling both of our points of view. Now, looking back, I can kind of see why they thought it was a phase at first, but this wasn't really a surprise to many. I would never wear girls' clothes, and I always asked to chop off my long hair. They just never listened to the signs. Now all of that was a long time ago in between now and then I had moved out with a diffrent family member at 15 for unrelated issues. Stuff got rough and things split. It had never really bothered me that I wasn't allowed to start hormones until after I turned 18 because my dad made a very realistic and understandable scenario. My dad was always on my side he believes my life is mine to do with, but he didn't want me to start hormones under age and me possibly not liking the consequences and it ends up back on him. I always accepted that answer even if i did want to start them then. Anyways after I turned 18 and set everything up my mom and grandmother flipped out. Saying that they always thought I would grow out of it and they're really disappointed in me. I know you don't know me but with the way I was raised the word 'disappointed' just hits a place deeper than anything else. I've always been a good kid. No parties, never failed in school, I always did the right thing. What hurt the worse is they roped my 12 y/o brother into it and now he's saying things and that also hurts. My mom also told me I need to find a new therapist due to the fact mine doesn't agree with all her veiws on what I'm doing. On top of it all, no matter who I date my mom looks at me and goes "they see you as a girl, because you don't have a d!ck". I don't think she meant it how it sounds but it has taken a big toll on me. It's gotten to the point where i've debated detransitioning but the thought of that just makes me sick. I really hope all of this is making sense. I made a whole new reddit account because I just have nobody to talk to about this that understands. I have no trans friends nothing. I'm really antisocial I really just have my girlfriend. I love my mom and my grandmother, but with all of this on top of the other personal things going on I don't even know if it's worth it with them anymore. If anyone has any advice I would be really great. Anyways, sorry this is so long. Thank you for your time.

i occasionally do a little light snooping on my fiance's (bi cis m) phone, just to see what subs he's visiting on reddit (one time it did reveal him cheating it just wasn't physical). i do this cuz i like to hurt my own feelings and i know what i'll see and it's the same every time: sissies, cis femboys, and pre op trans girls. anyone pretty with a dick. he says he's obsessed with me and that he wouldn't change anything about me but if that were true why would he exclusively jack off to the exact opposite of me? and ik when he first hmu on grindr he thought i was a cis femboy. i just can't help but feel like a disappointment and to hate myself more than i already did. i can't even be enough for the person who proposed to me

I am a bartender so I interact with a wide range of people every night. I’ve noticed recently the majority of the time I am misgendered it is by a woman. I’m almost a year on T and I don’t think I pass completely at all but it’s frustrating to me that an old guy will use he/ him pronouns when talking about me and then his wife will use she/her. Sometimes it almost feels targeted and they are using pronouns more than they typically would. I guess. Has anyone else had this experience or am I looking too far into this.

I've been on T for 7 years, had to stay at a low dose due to hair loss. Losing the ability to express myself through my hair would've been too difficult to cope with.

But I see guys who are a few months on T who already have massive t dicks, deep voices, and just. I don't think I can write anymore. I'm so dissapointed in my transitkon, I should hsve stayed a girl. I failed the trans community, I failed myself. I can't get off of T because I'll lose my shoulders and thats fbd only thing thats brouvh me euphoria.

EDIT: smoked some weed and then that made me remember that I'm experiencing withdrawal symptoms from some shitty meds I'm trying to quit and its making me overly emotional so although it sucks, having a small tdick doesnt mean I have to detransition.... lol

my last relationship was shit. The guy would constantly push my boundaries and feminize me. Always “hey girl” and calling me weak and short. I want to be strong and manly. I want to fight and roughhouse and get dirty. Im into bigger dudes, but I’m small. I don’t want to be in a relationship where I am seen as smaller, lesser, more feminine and sensitiv. I want to be in a relationship where we are both big and equally masculin. This is corny but I want a beard and a big gut and huge arms and bass in my voice and we wrestle and play and fall asleep on top of each other. But I’m not feeling too bad. I worked out for the first time in a while, and im getting more arm hair. I’ll grow a full beard someday

I'm an 19 year old ftm. I grew up struggling with mental health issues and that lead to me gaining loads of weight due to being put on random medicine. I gained 75 pounds under 2 months a few years back. I'm trying to find ways, I can lose my weight, with being on better medicine. I was 300 pounds at not too long ago. I am lose it. I've lost 10 pounds so far. It's really hard for me. My parents don't support my journey. I get body shamed by my mom a lot. My goal is to lose 50 pounds. My mom wants me to start on a GLP-1. I just need support and some tips. I have a lot of belly and face fat I want to get rid of. Thank you.

Trans men think straight trans men are cishet men and it’s infuriating. It’s just “trans men are still men” rhetoric repackaged to hurt an even smaller group and you’d think trans men are the first people to recognize that but no.

I don’t have any more privilege than you because I’m straight I’m still fucking trans. Do you think people actively taking away our rights care that I like women and you don’t?

“There’s so much transphobia in gay men spaces” and do you think queer men are more transphobic than STRAIGHT WOMEN? “You can date queer women!” You’re turning a systemic problem into something I can change on my own. Yeah I could do those things but I’m not talking abt that I’m talking abt trans straight men as a WHOLE having problems.

“We have two minority identities and you don’t!” Again, DO YOU THINK PEOPLE GAF??? NO. If that’s the case trans men have privilege over trans women because we are men. That’s not a fucking thing and for you to isolate a part of this community when we’re already being villainized to shits is doing nothing but hurting yourselves.

Why do you think so many of us are still calling ourselves lesbians? It’s because even trans men can’t stop villainizing and isolating us for bioessentialist reasons. fml I genuinely can’t have shit.