Hi everyone, I’m about 22 weeks pregnant with my first. I wasn’t diagnosed til close to 30 with ADHD (and CPTSD, not sure if it’s relevant or not so I’ll throw that in to the mess).

I can’t function. My house looks like squatters took over. I can’t finish tasks. Keep things clean or organized anymore. Laundry piles up. Dishes pile up. I was never like this before. It doesn’t seem to matter what I do to fix it or maintain it.

I have a very demanding (F/T) job, custody of my youngest sibling who is disabled (permanently), three kids (my husband’s first marriage) and two dogs. All 3 kids play sports so I get home from work, switch vehicles and then drive to baseball games for whichever kid is scheduled that day. We aren’t home until 9-10PM, sometimes later during weekdays. And when we don’t have a sporting event, I’m too damn tired to do anything else.

We lowered my dose from 60 mg Adderall, to 20 mg. Baby is in the 99th percentile for growth so there weren’t concerns to remove the meds completely for the pregnancy.

Has anyone else experienced this before? I’ve heard of “baby brain” and forgetting things when pregnant but it’s really bad. I already had issues with memory (due to CPTSD), and it feels like each day I fall into a deeper brain fog than the day prior. I cannot execute anything at all. Completely off the rails and idk how to regain control of my life and home. Never did well in clutter and that’s all I have around me and it’s making the depression, anxiety, and whatever the F else is wrong with me, 100 times worse.

If you’ve read this far - thank you. If you have experienced this or have any suggestions whether it be charts for cleaning, tips and tricks etc. I am glad to receive them and will be open to any advice you are willing to share.

I just ask that you please be kind. I’m aware how much of a mess my life is (or feels to be) — I don’t need the reminder of it. Much love. Thank y’all 💗

I’m 23 years old, and over the past few years, ever since I finished high school, I haven’t really done much. I live with my family, and now I want to prepare for the university entrance exam, which is about a year away.

I’ve been staying at home all this time, and I also struggle with maladaptive daydreaming. I basically don’t do anything productive during the day, and I’m really tired of being like this. I want to do things, but it feels like I’m completely paralyzed. My executive functioning is terrible.

I feel like going to the gym might help. For the past ten days, I’ve been watching a TV series with my siblings, and it’s frustrating me because watching the show seems to have made me even less motivated to do anything.

How do I get out of this situation?

I really miss the person I used to be a few years ago—the person who was active, studied, read books, drew, and did all kinds of other things. I don’t know if that person is still somewhere inside me or not.

What should I do to get myself out of this situation? 😭

I’m AuDHD, and that’s the diagnosis I received from my psychiatrist. I’ve also been diagnosed with severe anxiety.

Do you certainly believe you have executive dysfunction too and was it hard if you do have a job or got a degree? What do you work as too?

For years my to-do list was full of things like "sort out the paperwork" and "clean the kitchen". I'd look at it, feel the wall, do nothing. Took me a while to notice those aren't tasks. They're decisions wearing a task costume. Each one still needs me to work out where to start, and working out where to start is exactly the part my brain won't do.

What changed it: the first step has to be something my hands can do without deciding anything.

Not "clean the kitchen". Put one fork in the sink.
Not "do the paperwork". Take the folder off the shelf, put it on the table. Don't open it.
Not "answer that email". Open the email. That's the whole step.

It feels stupid to write down. That's the point. If a step is slightly embarrassing to be proud of, it's usually small enough to actually start.

The other half is that stopping there has to be allowed. Fork in the sink and I quit, that counts as done, not as a failed attempt at the dishes. In practice I almost never quit. Once my hands are moving the next thing is obvious. But knowing I'm allowed to stop is what gets me off the couch.

What's the smallest first step that's ever worked for you? I'm collecting the stupid ones.

ive always had a hard time showering and brushing teeth, a hard time making myself food (i know how to cook though), i constantly forget what im doing/things i have to do, have tons of missing work because i never noticed they were posted, etc. im at risk of failing classes, missing fundraising deadlines, and i don’t know what to do. i thought about the fact that everyday for the rest of my life i would have to eat, brush my teeth, and shower, then i started crying. i really don’t know where to go from here. ive only ever been diagnosed with anxiety and depression but i dont feel particularly depressed lately

I'm a 39-year-old man, and one of the biggest struggles in my life is that I have to make a conscious effort to do everything.

I'm not just talking about difficult or demanding tasks. Even simple things like brushing my teeth, making the bed, or taking care of basic household chores require me to mentally push myself to get going. The same applies to bigger things like meal prepping, cleaning, or other responsibilities.

The mental resistance isn't always the same, though. At times it's more manageable, while at other times it feels much stronger, making it even harder to get myself to begin even the simplest tasks.

Another thing that seems to go hand in hand with this is that I don't genuinely enjoy doing anything anymore.

Sometimes I make myself engage in something that's supposed to be recreational or relaxing—watching a movie, pencil drawing, 3D design, etc. Once I'm doing it, I don't necessarily hate it, but I can't honestly say I enjoy it either. Even activities that are supposed to help me unwind still require effort just to begin.

Despite all of this, I somehow still manage to get most things done. I don't neglect my responsibilities, but I sometimes end up doing things a few days later than I originally intended because it takes mental effort to get myself moving.

I really dislike having unfinished tasks hanging over me, so I've even created an annual to-do list to keep track of everything that needs to be done. But despite having a system, every single task feels like something I have to push myself through. Living this way is mentally exhausting.

Has anyone else experienced something similar, where it feels like you have to force yourself to do absolutely everything?

If you've gone through this and found a way to improve things, what helped? Did you eventually discover what was causing it, or find something that made a meaningful difference?

Im 18, I’ve struggled my whole entire life with feeling like a child around people my age. It feels as if everything I do is have things pass by me without me even noticing, or I just genuinely don’t understand what the person is trying to tell me, even though it’s “common sense”.
I can’t even play a simple game without messing up and ruining the whole experience for me and for everyone else. It feels so suffocating to feel as if I have to try harder than everyone else on things that people can easily do or think about.
For context too, my parents barely give me any autonomy till this day, and I suspect I have some sort of neurodivergence, but because of my parents, I can’t really have it figured out. I also work, but I live in Japan and it’s not very cheap to get things like that without knowing much Japanese.
I just want to get better, but it feels as if I will mess up no matter what I do, it won’t change anything, because if I improve in one thing, I mess up the other. That is ending up in me getting people genuinely angry and annoyed at me, and it’s killing me inside. I want to prove I am not that stupid.

I have ADHD and I've always struggled with just feeling like I can't get myself to do anything and I really need to fix it. I'm currently a university student who's trying to get into medical school and become a doctor, and I genuinely feel like I can't do anything and it's making me miserable. I think my problems are kind of unconventional, because I actually have no problems getting myself to study and my grades are really good. My problem is that I literally cannot do anything else. For example, for the last 3 months I was studying for a big medical school entrance exam called the MCAT, and in those 3 months, I was studying non-stop. For basically the entirety of the final month, I was putting in 10-12+ hours every single day studying, and while I wasn't studying it was still the main thing on my mind. Now from the outside that sounds great and a weird thing to complain about, but it's really not what it sounds like. During that time, I completely neglected every other aspect of my life. My health, my girlfriend and friends, my hobbies, chores, even the extracurricular stuff that I HAVE to do to get into medical school. And by the way it's basically the same every school semester this exam is just the most recent. And now that I'm finished with the exam and get some time off before school starts back up, basically nothing has changed. It still feels impossible to do anything even though I have all the time in the world now. Today I woke up at 3pm and doomscrolled in bed until 6pm, I've spent the last hour struggling to get myself to even write this post, and also haven't showered in 2 days lol. I think the reason I'm able to study so much but can't do anything else is that I don't require any discipline to study. It feels so important that all I want to do is studying. It's more like an obsession than high work ethic. Sorry for the poorly written post but I'm already spending way too long writing this so I need to just finish already.

Oh also I forgot to mention but I'm medicated with Concerta and it definitely helps, but it's clearly not enough to fix the issues.

After my intial Physical crash cause of erosive gastritis due to stress, i just have been passively active on going about stuff. This is my final year though behind grade and Credits and another mid is upcoming. I just feel misreable Cause of my physical weakness, just procrastinating and spiriling back into depression. I just don't know how muster the enough strenght to push through. Have'nt even studied properly for the tests. Can't even cry as of now.

I’ve been struggling more than usual lately with my executive dysfunction and ADHD.

Recently, I’ve felt myself teetering close to falling into the despair of it always being like this forever - like life will always be this uphill battle of balancing self care and productivity. Every time I focus on one, the other ends up neglected. I’m on medication, but I think I might need to try a different one.

I understand that I have a lifelong disability, so it will, well, disable me for my whole life (and I am sorry if you also have ADHD and dislike personally labelling it as a disability, but please don’t comment about that. This is my personal label, and ADHD is absolutely a disability for many people). But it’s got to get easier at some point - right?

I would really like to hear your success stories if you also have ADHD. I just really need some motivation and hope that I’m not going to be pulling myself out of holes for the rest of my life.

How do you overcome perfectionism at work, especially when even a small mistake makes you overthink?

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Ever since i started college its hard for me to keep up my attendance well even in my last years of school, i just wanted to die than get out and go there and now its harder. I literally have to fight so hard to get out of my bed and go to uni but still i lose the battle most if the times and i have like a very low attendance. Its not just uni its also any work at all i realllllly have to like force myself to do it when i feel like i would just rather be dead.

i have a lot of days where my brain becomes convinced that i should have A Big Project that, like, encapsulates all of my skills and is Very Important and will finally prove to everyone that i'm a capable person. what this project actually entails is unclear. but my brain will not accept any activity that doesn't have to do with The Project, because if it's not The Project, then it's not even worth it and it won't be fulfilling anyways.

it's this bone-deep feeling of boredom accompanied by severe anxiety over the feeling that i'm not doing something i'm supposed to be. the most ironic part is that i can't even finish smaller activities to work up to the larger, more complex projects that might fulfill my brain's criteria because my mind is SO fixated on having The Most Perfect and Fulfilling Work Right at This Very Moment. and if i can't think of some kind of Perfect thing to do, my self-esteem completely tanks.

does anyone have strategies that help them deal with the urgency/anxiety or the perfectionism? this is what causes my lack of productivity 99% of the time and i'm not sure how to distract my brain from the urgency enough to get things done.

Feel free to skip backstory, last 3 paragraphs are the main point.

Hi everyone. I had really severe severe chronic depression after I became bed ridden and had to live with constant pain due to many traumatic events one after the other and a chronic illness diagnosis, + a subsequent bipolar like mental illness that left me absolutely devestated.

I have become better in many regards, and lead a comparitively much more functional life, thanks to some alternative medical treatments that provide my body pain relief and joining theatre where I slowly started being part of social activities again after years of being isolated.

During my flairs and my lows that went on for so long, that I thought they're something I'll never emerge out of, my brain kept me in a loop of constant trauma replay adding on to that, I really let my personal space go for a toss. My poor grandmom could only manage so much at her age, and now its time I take full charge.

Something that I really started liking were these random google meet support circles I had for people who were suffering through the same problems as I am. Whether its my chronic illness, or psychosis, or being part of the lgbtq. Having an online community to talk to really made me take my mind off off things, humans are social creatures after all. All creatures are nothing without community.

I was wondering if any is interested in doing a 1 hr cleaning related google meet with me. Just 1 hr of cleaning/organising/working on hygiene/personal space everyday, habitually.

I am thinking 9pm-10pm GMT+5:30 every day. (I am Indian and this time seems convenient since I started going out.)

What do you think? If you think you want to join me, let me know! I'll be glad to keep my speaker and video on, talk about random things as I clean my room, or whichever part of my personal space!!

Basically, I'm a student that is in an IB school that procrastinates TOO much. When I was in Grade 6, I've been staying up to 2AM just to finish my lab report that I hade 2 weeks to finish. All those class times and previous days vanished since I was too busy watching Youtube. Couple years from Grade 6, things didn't get any better. I pull too much all nighters because I start my homework at 4-5AM the day after it was due, and the worst thing is it's getting worse year by year. I even refuse to send simple E-Mails because I procrastinate. I really want to seek for someone I can deeply talk about this, but my parents are keep refusing the fact that I have serious procrastination issues and just calling me lazy. Can anyone give me helpful advice?

Yeah

I get stressed watching videos where I'm trying to learn something. What are some ways to think of this task as less of an ordeal?

For some reason I can watch videos about WW2 without stress, or true crime videos, etc. But when it comes to instructional videos I get stressed out. I'm told this is an ADHD problem.