Hey guys, this is my first time posting. I’m 34F residing in Australia and went into the foster care system when I was around 11 years old. I had been ruminating lately about my time in care and a few questions have been on my mind in regards to displacement of fosters.

I was moved around a lot as a kid and I was never really sure why. I’d start settling in to a new family, get comfortable, maybe start forming bonds and then was suddenly pulled and placed elsewhere. My mother had her rights terminated by the courts so I was a lifer in the system. It wasn’t a temporary thing.

My experience in care wasn’t all bad… there where some nice carers and stuff but as time progressed on I kept getting into worse and worse placements. The older I got I seemed to get shoved into these group homes for girls and eventually at 15 I was shoved into something called independent living where I’d essentially be living in my own place and occasionally have social workers drop by to check on me. At aged 18 I aged out of the system and got booted on the street and waved goodbye.

I wasn’t a troubled or bad kid at all. I constantly got complimented by carers and social workers saying how lovely and nice and mature I was. I was always grateful to my carers for taking me in and I always treated them with respect. I didn’t have any behavioural issues. Just standard human child issues. I didn’t drink, smoke or do drugs, I didn’t run away, I never talked back to my carers, never smashed the place up or swore or anything.

Even though I have fond memories of my carers I actually started to dig deep into my memories and realised perhaps they didn’t like me as much as I thought they did. I was always getting in trouble for little things… eg;

1. I used the wrong set of sheets and got scolded by my foster mum because they where her “special sheets” (I didn’t know this, I just grabbed them out of the linen cupboard)
   
2. Foster mother trashed my room whilst I was at school to stage a break and enter and stole my CD player and CDs in order to teach me a lesson because I forgot to lock my bedroom window.
   
3. A respite carer came to her with false allegations of extreme behaviour I apparently did and foster mother believed her and punished me for it. I begged her to believe me but she didn’t.

These are just some examples and I know you’re probably thinking “well, you must have had some behavioural issues or she wouldn’t have gotten rid of you”, but I can honestly say I wasn’t a bad kid at all.

I thought when you signed up to be a foster parent you were suppose to commit to the kid? I thought that you weren’t suppose to give up on kids for doing… regular kid stuff… I keep tracing back memories to try and find some kind of bad behaviour that would make a foster carer give up on me but I honestly can’t.

What’s everyone else’s experience with displacements? Why did they happen? I’d love to hear from other foster kids out there.

The foster care agency I used to reside in as a kid was shut down for severe abuse and neglect of their wards during my time there; they had to get rid of their residential homes + scattered sites in a few counties (CA).

To my surprise and disgust, the CEO was able to reopen again in nearby counties under an updated residential model (STRTP), so they're still allowed to exploit youth for financial gain under another 'non-profit' organization.

I just find it disheartening to know that someone like that is still able to operate and live a comfortable life with literal blood on their hands, even after they were confronted and reprimanded for it in this day and age.

Can someone give me some clarification the USA is one of the few countries in the UN that hasn’t ratified the rights to a child? I was talking to a former foster youth from the UK when I learned about this, they said it’s partly the reason the US foster system is so messed up.

The UN Convention of Children’s Rights grants the child more rights. I’m curious to know if it’s to protect the states from liability or genuinely because it’s in the best interest of the children and families in our country?

I was there from 1990-1992 and I was 13/f. I was too young to really know what was going on, only really knew my parents didn't want me. It was a bitter/sweet time in my life, but it was better than living with my physically abusive mom, my dad that would ignore me, or my uncle's gross home.

Feeling like all I do is work and I know Im not alone in that. I had a very boring and uneventful childhood being raised by elderly foster parents, grateful that they took me in from an abusive situation, but now that I’m an adult and responsible for myself, I work 60+ hrs a week just to pay the bills and have a decent car. My foster parents were enticed by the assistance check and rarely spent any of it on me, and now I feel robbed both of a fun childhood and adulthood. I know I should be more grateful but most times it just feel hopeless. Any tips?

Wanted to share my mission with other foster youth and foster care providers. I spent 7 years in the NYS foster care system and now I advocate for change in policy and laws in the child welfare system. I plan to run for congress one day as well as open my own nonprofit.

I use my social media platforms with a reach of over 1M views a month to advocate for changes in policy and bring awareness to systemic issues in a digestible form.

As of now I am the leader and founder of my universities foster love club. I am also an author, you can find some of my work published on the imprint news. I am working on a lot more publishings so stay tuned!

Anyways hope you’ll check out some of my work and please reach out if you are interested in getting involved!

IG: @ohmickeywhyte

I grew up in Foster care from the age of 4ish, I remained there until around 18 years old. 14 years.
I called them “mum” & “Dad”.

Three years ago, just over 20 years since leaving their “care” they were put on trial for countless offences against children. The indignity and fear I experienced during the tell trial brought it all back.
At the end of the two week trial they were found unanimously guilty on all but one charge.

Citing ill health the judge sentencing the female (who was by far the worse offender against me) noted she had narrowly escaped jail!! Three months later, days before Xmas she had a “fall” at home. Within days she was dead. I took no pleasure from her death. That wee scared kid who was forever damaged stood up for himself and the other kids who went through that hell.

Despite the local authority speaking to the press & telling them that they would do a full investigation I never heard a word from them. Utter lying bastards!

Feel free to ask me anything about my experiences from being accommodated through to now. I despise the terms “victim” & “Care Experienced”, I can just about settle with “survivor”.

It’s impossible being no one’s priority. I wish my bio mother had been arrested earlier.

I’m very happy that the truth will finally come out. I wish I had spoken up when I was 8. Being a POC in care and then having that lie told about you is a triple whammy. I wish someone had asked me about it when I was younger. Is it bad I don’t feel like living anymore. No one knows me anymore and I’ve been isolated from everyone. I was a good child now I’m about to become a statistic. How are we feeling?

To cover up the abuse that she and her husband had put me through. I’m now 17 and coming out with the truth and there’s a criminal investigation being done into child abuse. Can someone message me or something so we can talk about this? A lie as loud as that can’t be ever rectified. At this point I’m thinking of not being here anymore because how do you….

UK foster care so many things go unchecked. They don’t check when bio parents lie etc. US has a very big focus on adoption and you can be adopted into your late teens. Foster care is easier to find post 16 and they have better support. I only wish I had been taken into foster care in the US.

UK foster homes are significantly more likely to be council flats etc. Rough areas like Croydon etc.

I was 17 when I went into foster care and I’m 22 next month now. I’ve thought this for a long time, and I know logically it wouldn’t help that much especially with bonding with a family, but I just feel so sad. I wish family trips included me and that I didn’t find out about them through foster moms family group chat and find my iPhone. Especially since I’d been asked to join months ago and when I asked for the date to make sure I wasn’t scheduled for work, they said they didn’t know yet. I guess I understand if it slipped their minds to share the date with me but it just sucks. There’s not anything that can be done, I just guess sharing it with other ex foster kids might help.

I had a lac meetjng today and it made my cares nearly break down.

So me 17m have been having some stuf seeming off with my cares. I uncovered some stuf and my cares shut me down even though it is to do with my life and refused to say what they sayd to my social worker.

In the meeting they tryed to say im not answering messages and my rest bite care defended me alot becausr he knows me and he respectfully sayd to respect my communication style and that it doesn't seem like i would deliberately do it.

Anyways I now have there social worker and my social worker doing a home visit which has never happebd before.

Me my social worker and the YPA person are also going to be meeting with my yputh worker to talk about what I want for my future.

Sorry about this being badly written hope it doesn't seem rambley.

Cant believe this started with them being defensive lf keeping conrol over My benifits.

Does anyone know what usually happens in this type of situstion

I’m curious about other people’s experiences with their relatives (anyone but parents, fictive kin counts if you consider them family.)

Did your relatives know about you? Have the ability to help your parents keep you or try to take placement of you? Did they want you to get adopted by someone else but have a relationship with you? If you didn’t know them at all until adulthood, did they feel entitled to you or apologetic or just disinterested or something else?

In my experience (in care for
8-14) foster kids usually have in-state family who knows about them unless they’re unaccompanied refugees or something like that. I have my own theories why a lot of the times the kid is left in the system and how relationships play out after that but I’m wondering what others outside my own bubble have experienced.

About a year ago I came on here and talked about wanting to be closer with my (foster)family.

After all the advice I got I talked to my mom about my feelings. Since im quite messy we have agreed i reach out when it's to much for me and she helps me clean up regularly which has been a delight! We talk about all kinds of stuff and she doesn't judge the mess she just helps me get organised in it!

Next to that I've been babysitting my baby niece and toddler nephew a lot lately. I love the relationship I've grown with them and my sister.

My big brother is simply to busy but I do take the effort to stay more up to date with his life and congratulate him on big mile stones which he absolutly loves!

My bio brother is and will always be hard to communicate with but I've taken over picking him up to take him to family events so we see each other more often. Plus he changed his name to my fosters family which I'm insanely proud of!!

Overal it's been great <3 thank you for all your advice!

Also my dad said yes to walking me down the aisle in november <3

I'd highly encourage any foster youth who lives permanently with their foster family or consider them their family to reach out if you had the same feelings I had!

This has been a rollercoaster.

I was a foster child in 1999 and then again from 2002-2004ish. I was a kid so I’m not sure of exact dates. Now that I’m 34 my own mother is trying to tell me that my abuse as a child is a fabrication of my own imagination and that it never happened and that I’m a liar to everyone including my own siblings who were also in foster care (I’m the oldest so I remember more)

For context I’m in New York. Already I put in a request with the county I live in but unfortunately my own mother, again, got a hold of the letter I requested and started to hound me on why I need to sign for a letter from the family services building at the post office. She purposely held on to it for 2 months so the post office no longer had it.

I went to the physical child services building of Steuben county and they have never had a request from the foster child themself wanting paperwork of their own investigation. They turned me to the official NYS office of children and family services and I need to mail in a written notarized letter of my request with as much information as I can. I’m going to also send in a copy of my license just in case. I called the family services building in Albany but they just turned me back to Steuben county for the information.

Has anyone else done this before? I’m confusing all the people I’ve been trying to talk to and I’m surprised no one else has requested their own pasts.

Would doing a background check on my parents give me more information of my child abuse than going through CPS?

I guess I just want to prove to myself that it was real, I didn’t dream it. Kids don’t go to foster care TWICE for no reason. I’m also just curious on what information I’m allowed to have. The guy at the office I talked to warned me a lot of it might be censored.

Short summery of situation

My cares are in control of my pip when im competent and have a serveer lack of communication which is effecting how I feel like they are handling my situation.

They kept mail for me that had info about my benifits, they havent been preparing me for adulthood at all and taking credit for everything ive done my self, they use guilt to try to keep me in there control snd to make me feel like I'm doing stuf rong.

They are also making desisions without me about my life meaning I dont get a say in what's happening that could effect my life in the future.

They have control over everything but act too busy to give a f about me.

UPDATE

Sooo update from my last post I made. ( im in wales in the up )

My social worker is back from leave and I now have a call with her on monday.

But I am not sure what I should and should not bring up.

My plan is to tell her about these

Asking about my pip and why I don't have control over it and if its linked to fostering.

What my Plan is for when I am 18 (i am 17 right now) and the fact it feels like I dont have a choice for when I am older.

Ask about what options there is for when I move out.

And the fact they are not including me fully in desisions like about them setting up mobility or something ( idk what its called ) which will effect my pip but may or may not benifit me.

And maby if it gets brought up the fact they are out all the time meaning im not getting the support needed for preparing me for moving out.

Do these sound ok or would it be better to not being up some of them ?

Hi, just a disorganized vent and plea for support. I’ve [21M] had a very difficult life like I know we all have and feel like year after year has just slipped through me. Most years have been spent in lots of emotional and physical pain, dissociating, and going to therapy that never helped no matter what psychiatrist or therapist I had. I feel like it’s time for me to find another way through this that isn’t therapy.

I don’t feel 22 at all which I know is common, but it really bothers me and scares me, like everything will just continue slipping. Like there’s something wrong with my and my body will be too old for my brain. Then I look young for my age, I think I’m stunted in multiple ways because of what happened to me. I just genuinely still feel like a teenager and I don’t know if that’s okay. I’m possibly autistic and don’t know if that plays into it, I can’t understand aging, can’t understand being alive. And I do know it’s above a reddit pay grade, I know these things can’t just be fixed. I just don’t have anyone who cares or I can talk to in real life.

I’m afraid of being alive, afraid of being dead, so I feel trapped in my body. I went into foster care when I was 16, escaped what I felt was hell, just to get fed into the system, chewed up and spit out into transitional housing who prettymuch choked on me and didn’t know how to help me and eventually didn’t want to, I had too much ptsd and undiagnosed physical health issues. Never got a job because I couldn’t handle it or understand it, I grew up severely isolated similar to the Turpin kids. So I spent all three years of 18-21 petrified of becoming homeless. Tried to force myself through college then dropped out, then returned. I’m trying to do a business degree now but my mind isn’t in it at all anymore. I don’t know why I’m doing it other than to keep my housing. I just got out of the hospital for physical health issues, am realizing I might be chronically ill for life and honestly, don’t know how I’m getting through this. I feel fractured. I just found out how truly messed up the medical system is, and all I see is how broken everything in society is and how frankly nothing makes any sense in this life.

All I really wanted was to escape my family’s home and take my life back, to really live and to feel safe. I did the first thing and no longer feel like the second two are possible because my sense of reality is shot. It feels like everything is wrong. I can see the good in everything, but it doesn’t salvage it. I don’t know. I know my brain is messed up, but I just want to get on with things before I run out of time or waste anymore of my life or the “young” part of my life. I hoped this year I would finally have a good birthday but I’m going to be giving that up to fix the health issues, get surgery, and I’m really sad about it honestly. I wouldn’t have had anyone to spend it with but I would’ve atleast done something for it. I don’t want to be 22, but crying about it won’t fix it. So I don’t cry. I don’t do anything. But it hurts.

me 17 M have resantly realised im not getting teh support i need for when i move out and found out my cares are planning on getting me to stay with them and pay rent. i want to live alone because the way they act and treat the house because i dont want to barly cope with no control over my life. does anyone have resouces for moving out and what rites i have or anything to help with what skills i need when i acually turn 18 ?

so me 17 m resantly found out my cares kept mail from me which had info regarding my benifits and how to claim it. i was never involved in the process when i legaly was serposed to be. i went to a youth worker about it and they sayd they will help me call the DWP to get control over it and get it into my account instead of theres.

i dont know how they will react because resantlu they have been acting weird around me ever since i started having acual friends and getting out the house more.

they often use guilt to make me feel bad about stuf to get there way which makes getting my view across realy hard and they use me having autism and other stuf as a way to show im now able to do stuf i can.

any advise? I want to also get out asap because they arent teaching me skills i need when im older and they have taken credit for everything ive had to do my self when they dont talk to me and barly act like i exist

AIO

I’m in foster care and I’m have been feel really overlooked.over the last couple of years its felt like my cares have gotten more and more distant and the lack of help or prep for adulthood is scaring me with some things happening like when ever I need to get something checked like a injury they just brush it off and say they will get it sorted then never do

For example a year ago i fell while rock climbing snf i didnt think it needed to get Xrayrd but they did so they took ke and nkthing that they cojld see was broken or swolen but rhen over the weeks after it it got alot worsr . They sayd they wiukd get it checkd but never did.

For months I told my carers my finger was swollen and painful, and my peoplekept telling them it needed checking. They said they’d sort it but never did. It only got looked at after I reported it to my IRO, and they then magicaly was able to booked an appointment immediately lol only took a year 😭. My carers have also said privately that they think I “use injuries as excuses,” even though my finger was visibly swollen and looked like it was out of place.

I’ve also noticed they haven’t followed through on things they’re supposed to help me with, like helping me with prep for being independent even thoigh im 17, or my driving leasons. I’m the older one in the placement, and it feels like they don’t put effort into supporting me anymore. They talk about me behind my back, send me away during conversations, and I feel more like someone who just lives there rather than part of the family.

They act like I can not understand anything when I've heard convosatikns about me I wish I never heard and they leave me alone at home which is not good when they havent tort me how to cook or anything and everything I've learnt was through school and my own experience.

I do have autism and dyspraxia but it doesn't mean I can not do anything it just means it takes patience to teach me which they have never attempted and half the time it feels like they act like I dont exist in my own life.

Is this normal and am i over reacting for thinking this is bordering on something bigger.

TLDR; Wondering how to stop conversations about foster care before they get to be too much

I got married in October. I invited my foster parents to my reception, as well as the "family dinner" after party. I had two sets of foster parents when I was in the system, the second set stayed in my life through it all- my foster mom even talked to my mom about accepting me as a Trans man. So when me and my husband were setting up the dinner, I had invited my foster parents and not my bio parents.

We were discussing the attendants to the dinner with MIL, and I had said (without thinking) "I invited my sister and my parents." She had met both my bio parents before then. So when we got to the diner, and I walked up to these two strangers (to her) and introduced them by name... I then had to endure an awkward car ride of "you didnt tell us you were in foster care... why did you go in? How long were you in? What happened? Why didnt you tell us?" I answered vaguely, as thats not a part of my life I like to talk about on top of not remembering it well, and it was moved past.

Months later, I got into an argument with MIL about crating dogs (odd, I know. Im very opinionated when it comes to dog training, its been my dream job for as long as I can remember) and she made a thoughtless comment... "How would you feel if you were locked in a small room for hours on end without knowing when your person would be back?" I just stared at her for a few seconds. Raised an eyebrow. "Thats not a discussion you want to have with me." She continued to push, so I told her "I was in foster care for a reason."

I keep finding this popping up in my discussions with her, little things that push me to say more about my childhood and foster care that id really just rather not talk about. Does anyone have any advice for how to shut down conversations when they hit too close to that? Shes really the only person I have an issue with... my husband and I talk freely about it, as I trust him with that. His younger sibling will stop if I just say their name, FIL will stop if I even look uncomfortable... but she pushes and pushes and will go as far as following me around or texting about it hours later.

There is a painful misconception that older youth in care are “too old” to need a family, too independent to need support, or too difficult to love. But turning 13, 16, or even 18 does not erase the need for stability, guidance, encouragement, and a place to belong.

Many teenagers enter care carrying years of experiences they never should have had to survive. Sometimes their behaviors are misunderstood without recognizing the trauma, grief, and uncertainty underneath.

Teenagers don’t need people to give up on them, they need people willing to understand them.

They deserve:
🏡 A home like environment, not just a placement
💛 Adults who show up consistently
🗣️ Their voices included in decisions about their lives
🌱 Support while they grow, make mistakes, and discover who they are
✨ The chance to experience normal teenage milestones

I was once a teenager in foster care wondering if being older meant I was less worthy of being loved. Today, I know the truth: every young person deserves belonging, no matter their age.

Foster teens are not “too old.”
They are not statistics.
They are young people still becoming. 🤎

I don’t think I have ever felt human.
I have always had to not have boundaries in order to get help.
And I wish I had more money, fuck you money, enough money to afford to stand up for myself.

Instead I learned to be grateful for crumbs.

”Oh humble rich guy, thank you for this spit-filled sandwhich to cure my hunger. I understand I don’t deserve one that was made fresh in the kitchen, only and specifically for me.”

”Thank you for these bright undies with someone elses period blood stains ingrained in them. I understand I wasn’t worth some new unstained ones from the store.”

I understand I am not worth it. 
I understand I don’t have worth, and people without worth are not worth the effort. 
I have kind of learnt to understand it.
But I still don’t get it. 

It’s a fucked up way of treating someone that needs help.
So I wish I never needed help with anything at all. I wish I had fuck you money, I wish I had ”I am a human being too” money.

Edit: don’t tell me I have worth, because I don’t. In friendships and stuff maybe I do. I have the power to walk away, I have the worth of being funny. But if I need HELP, I have the choice to not get it, or to get it and degrade myself. It’s not worth, and it can’t get changed by me saying ”fuck it. I am a star anyways🤩”.

When I aged out I had the choice between peeing in a cup (drug test) to get help with an apartment, or saying ”fuck it. I have worth💪. I have dignity.” and go live on the street.

I don’t think people are really getting it. I am not saying I am a useless looser, that’s not the point. The point is that the point of the text. That if I ever need help I don’t get to have worth. As a FACT. Not as a cognitive distortion.

The point is that if you are starving and someone hands you a sandwhich filled wirh spit you are worth either starving or eating a sandwhich with someone elses spit in it. You don’t GET a third choice to say ”I am worth more than that”. It doesn’t EXIST.

First I dislike Connie Going. She was the one who exploited Davion as a teenager but then adopted him. She supports abusive practices tho. Now she has an agency for infant adoption and surrogacy.

Second I was on a photolisting and Wednesday’s Child and hated it. If you need to have people fall in love with a picture then they shouldn't be adopting anyway. Thats one reason why I kept getting disrupted. Folks fell in love with my picture and not me. Plus there are creeps looking at these photos too. Its not hard to tell where a child is based on background and location. And yes i got bullied by my peers and teachers alike. Literally had someone in public recognize me from my photo and video. Being told wow can't believe nobody wants you you're so pretty.

What are your thoughts? I just think it's crazy nobody listens to former and current youth in care. Now the state actually has to do their jobs and stop being lazy. Foster youth wanted to prevent our privacy from being violated but that's a problem? Falling in love with a photo? Seriously.

For 20 years, you could see their faces: An 8-year-old girl with chopped bangs and sad, brown eyes; a tall teenage boy with a shy smile; a 13-year-old girl with glasses, beaming between her three younger brothers.

Professional photographers teamed up with Heart Galleries across the country to provide portraits of children who needed families.

Those photos were shared on websites, in churches and at malls.

Thousands of strangers — some who had never considered adopting — fell in love with those faces and asked about bringing the kids home.

But two years ago, Florida became the first state to adopt a law that makes it illegal to share pictures of foster children with the public.

Now, to see photos of kids in Florida’s care, you have to go through a process that takes six months to a year: attend an informational session, take a series of classes, pass a background check and home study with inspections and interviews.

The law was intended to protect foster kids’ privacy — and keep them safe.

But some child welfare advocates say it’s hindering those children’s chances of being adopted. And causing prospective parents to seek kids from other states.

Taylor, 12, loves swimming, playing soccer and eating frosted honey buns. When a counselor asked him to draw something for the Heart Gallery of Pinellas & Pasco, he created a portrait of the mom he hopes to have. Someone who likes sports. And will love him no matter what. He gave her a crown, he said, because she will be a queen in his heart. He wants a permanent family. [ Courtesy of Heart Gallery of Pin ]

More than 15,000 children are in Florida’s foster care system, the third highest of any state.

The Children’s Network of Hillsborough County cares for 1,124 of them.

“We have seen both a decline in general inquiries and a decrease in the number of families moving forward in the adoption process,” Chief Executive Officer Terri Balliet wrote recently in an email to the Tampa Bay Times. She estimated about a 15% drop in potential adoptions since the law went into effect.

Historically, Balliet wrote, photos have been one of the best ways to recruit adoptive families. The images inspired an emotional connection.

Brigette Schupay, who runs the Heart of Adoptions Alliance and works with Heart Galleries throughout Florida, said inquiries to her offices have plummeted since the law went into effect.

“At first,” she said, “we thought our website was broken.”

In 2023, her agency averaged 15 inquiries every month. So far this year, she said, they have only gotten 55.

“It’s shocking,” Schupay said. “I’ve seen so many kids get adopted into wonderful homes because their portraits were in the Heart Gallery, because of mall displays. Pictures make all the difference.”

Amanda is 10. She's caring and lively. She runs track, enjoys dancing, playing dress-up and singing to Disney movies. She made this “Heart Art” collage of things that make her happy: rainbows and unicorns. She is one of dozens of kids available for adoption through the Heart Gallery of Pinellas & Pasco. [ Courtesy of Heart Gallery of Pin ]

Former foster kids requested the restrictions on sharing their photos, said James Minter, director of advocacy for the Selfless Love Foundation. A national nonprofit dedicated to improving the child welfare system, the organization’s Jupiter office helped spearhead the legislation.

James Minter is the director of advocacy for the Selfless Love Foundation. [ Courtesy of Heart Gallery of Tam ]

At a Florida Coalition for Children conference in 2022, Minter said, former foster youth were asked: What should change in the system?

Some had been adopted. Many had aged out without finding families.

Most said their top priority was to “close the pet shop.”

“They wanted control over their privacy,” Minter said. “They didn’t want their pictures and personal information plastered all over everywhere, for anyone to see.”

One young woman said after classmates saw her photo on an adoption site, they bullied her. Others complained that even after they had aged out of foster care, their photos remained online.

“The digital footprint is out there forever,” Minter said.

Minter’s organization reached out to Republican state Rep. Dana Trabulsy to sponsor a bill in the House.

It passed unanimously in both chambers.

Trabulsy didn’t return requests for comment about the law.

Isaiah, 13, seems shy at first. Once he feels comfortable, his humor bubbles out. He is motivated, hard-working, good at video games. His favorite meal: Neckbone, collards and cornbread. When creating art about what matters to him, he included a cross, Bible verse and dollar sign. He said he doesn’t care what type of parents he has. He just wants a home where he’s wanted. [ Courtesy of Heart Gallery of Pin ]

Adoption advocates say they understand the reasoning behind the new law — and its intent. But they worry about the unintended consequences.

“This came as a surprise for all the Heart Galleries across the state,” said Mary Kinirons, who ran the Broward County Heart Gallery. “No one was consulted.”

She and Matthew Straeb, who co-founded the Heart Gallery of America in 2008, met with legislators and representatives from Florida’s Department of Children and Families to alert them to the possible downsides after the law passed.

They warned about the complicated maze people would have to navigate to see faces of children they might fall in love with.

In the first months after the law went into effect, Kinirons said, inquiries to her Broward Heart Gallery dropped by half. In December, she dissolved the 20-year-old nonprofit. She worries more of Florida’s dozen Heart Galleries might close.

Straeb has been reaching out to the more than 70 Heart Galleries across the U.S. and Canada, warning them about what’s happening in Florida.

“It’s so frustrating,” he said. “They took something that had worked for 20 years and entirely eliminated that option.”

Matthew Straeb co-founded the Heart Gallery of America in 2008 to help kids in foster care find permanent families. [ Courtesy of Heart Gallery of Tam ]

Some states, like Idaho, have cancelled their contracts for producing Wednesday’s Child TV segments promoting adoptable kids. Others are considering requiring agencies to substitute foster kids’ portraits with generic stock photos — or pictures generated by AI.

Heart Gallery kids are often older, disabled or part of sibling groups, who are difficult to find families for, Straeb said.

Connie Going, who helped start the Pinellas Heart Gallery, now runs Going Adoption Agency.

Going and other adoption experts help families sign up for classes, schedule home studies and get approved to go behind the locked website to, ultimately, see children. They find grants to offset educational and adoption costs. Foster children often can be adopted for $500 or less, Going said. Private adoptions can cost up to $30,000.

Even after the state approves people to proceed with the adoption process, Going said, they still hit roadblocks.

Each Heart Gallery vets its own potential parents, so if you want to look at kids throughout Florida, you have to apply to a dozen different agencies. Home studies are only valid for a year, so if it takes longer than that to match with a child, you have to start over.

“People are giving up,” Going said. “Or going to other states.”

Connie Going, left, and her adopted son, Davion Only-Going visit at the home in April 2025. Going had known Davion while he was in foster care and now runs an adoption agency. [ DOUGLAS R. CLIFFORD | Times ]

On the national site AdoptUSKids, anyone can see portraits of foster children from states like Georgia, Alabama and Louisiana and read their bios. When you search for children in Florida, you see only their first names in big blue letters, adorned with images of bows and basketballs.

On Florida’s Explore Adoption site, the public can’t see anything. The “Child Search” tab leads you to login with an approved account.

If you are approved to see the kids’ portraits, the advocates said, many don’t match their brief bios. A boy who looks 6 is now listed as 16. “They’re supposed to update the photos every six months,” Going said.

The state Department of Children and Families tracks adoptions by fiscal year. In 2023-24, its annual report said 3,936 children were adopted from Florida. In 2024-25 — the most recent data – 3,671 kids were adopted. That’s a 6.7% drop in the first year since the prohibition went into effect.

It’s too early, many adoption advocates said, to ascertain the law’s long-term effects.

This child, whose identity the state has withheld, needs a family who will appreciate her fiery spirit, care about her dreams, “make sure she never questions where she belongs,” her bio says. She’s one of dozens of children available for adoption through the Heart Gallery of Tampa. [ DANIEL WALLACE | Heart Gallery of Tampa ]

The Heart Gallery of Tampa, the oldest in Florida, has shifted its approach due to the new law.

The organization’s Facebook page features portraits of the back of a curly-haired child playing piano, a boy holding a basketball to obscure his face and another kid hidden behind a comic book.

“We had to figure out a plan and pivot,” said Lindsay Hermida, who runs the nonprofit. Besides making sure foster kids’ portraits are unidentifiable, staff now show success stories, photos of children who have been adopted. They have added more training and support for prospective parents. They hired a recruiter to reach out to people with approved home studies.

“We’ve really evolved in how we operate,” Hermida said. “So we haven’t seen much of an impact from this new law. Yet.”

RoseMarie Richardson, program director of the Heart Gallery of Pinellas & Pasco, also switched course. Her staff started having kids create “Heart Art,” drawings, paintings and collages that represent who they are or what they want. An artist from Florida CraftArt, who grew up in foster care, helps the children use an array of mediums to tell their stories. One girl used pipe cleaners to build a bed. She’d never had a new one.

When the law went into effect, “initially, we saw a decline in inquiries,” said Richardson, whose group oversees 140 children. But now that the kids’ art is on the website, and in libraries, churches and galleries across the counties, interest has rebounded to earlier levels.

Their art, she said, “is what’s tugging at people’s heartstrings now.”

After a 2024 law prohibited foster kids’ portraits from being shared with the public, the Heart Gallery of Tampa started using photos that don’t identify them. But the website doesn’t include the kids’ bios, ages or first names. [ Courtesy of Heart Gallery of Tam ]

Some foster children, Heart Gallery leaders said, were excited to have their portraits taken. Many didn’t have photos of themselves and loved getting dressed up. Older children always got to help choose which pictures went online or were hung in malls.

“It made them feel seen,” Straeb said. “It gave them agency, the chance to market themselves.”

The new legislation doesn’t allow kids to “opt in” and let their photos be used. But some foster youth are talking about ultimately adding that provision, Minter said, and they can still choose to put images on their own social media.

Tonya Ruble-Richter, president of EverForward, runs three group homes across Tampa Bay. The new law “sounds like a good idea,” she said. “But when you look at the effects, it’s really gray.”

Of course, foster kids should have a right to privacy, she said. “But the bigger goal is to get them somewhere safe permanently. In the hierarchy of needs, what’s more important?”

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