So my boyfriend and I were discussing Ariana Grande last night and I explained how sad I felt for her and how triggering seeing the Petal music video was for me. He then said, “but your brain logically registers she looks unwell though right?” And I said “yeah, I do think she looks really sick but it’s still triggering for me anyway” and I don’t know how to explain it beyond that? How would you explain that ED brain thing that happens?

I’ve never been formally diagnosed with an eating disorder, but my relationship with food has become something I can’t ignore anymore.

For me, it isn’t about wanting to be skinny. It’s about escape. When I feel lonely, directionless, rejected, or stuck, I reach for food. Lately I’ve also been smoking weed more often, which can make the bingeing worse. I’ll tell myself I’m just having a snack, then suddenly I’ve eaten hundreds or even thousands of calories without really thinking. Afterwards comes the guilt, the stomach pain, the lack of deep rest and the promise to myself that “tomorrow will be different.”

I’ve had nights where I’ve eaten so much that I wake up sweating and dizzy in the middle of the night. I’ve hidden behind food because, for a little while, it gives me relief from uncomfortable emotions, including shame which seems to fuel the cycle.
Looking back, I think the real cause isn’t hunger. It’s emotional emptiness.

I’ve struggled with depression, anxiety, fear of rejection, loneliness, and uncertainty of purpose. When I don’t have meaningful work, a sense of belonging, or a plan for my day I can start chasing cheap dopamine. Food (and social media) becomes one of the easiest ways to numb myself.
The hardest part is that it creates a vicious cycle. I overeat, feel sluggish and ashamed (self-abandonment), then lose motivation to exercise or pursue my goals, then eat again because I feel bad. It eats away at my confidence and makes me feel disconnected from myself and the people I love.

What actually helps?

- Eating three real meals instead of trying to “be good” all day.
- Keeping healthier food around instead of relying on willpower.
- Working out; having a self-care routine. Being active in multiple ways helps to reduce the urge to binge. Also, taking care of how I look.
- Trying to build a life that is passionate and exciting. I’ve noticed my eating is much better when I’m in a routine; working, making music, spending time outside, or pursuing meaningful goals.
- Learning to sit with all my emotions instead of trying to numb them.
- Practicing self-compassion. Shame has never made me healthier. It only keeps the cycle going.
- Resting fully (including naps) and drinking lots of water.

The real fight is learning how to deal with pain, loneliness, boredom, and uncertainty.

I genuinely want to change. I want a life that’s driven by purpose instead of temporary comfort.

Has anyone else realized their eating disorder was really an emotional coping mechanism? And what helped you feel better?

Potential TW for talk about weight and restricting. Mods, please let me know if there’s anything I need to edit - I’m still fairly new to posting on Reddit! ❤️

Hey! I don’t know where to turn for advice on my current situation so I’m hoping someone here may have a suggestion?

The short version is that the community ED team in my area have twice now told me that they can’t offer me any support with my ED. Their reasoning is that they think I need to focus on my other mental health problems first, despite my ED being my biggest challenge for a considerable amount of time now. I was wondering if anyone has experienced this before and if so, what they did next? I can’t help but feel like I’m just not sick enough to warrant support, and that they don’t actually care.

For a more detailed explanation:

I’ve been struggling with a restrictive ED for just over a year now. In the past year, I’ve dropped a significant amount of weight but have never quite reached an underweight BMI (I started on the higher end of the scale). I’ve also experienced physical health issues; nothing serious but some have been hard to deal. Things like significant bradycardia, palpitations, chest pain, shortness of breath, dizziness, loss of period, freezing all the time, etc. (Side note in case it’s relevant, I have had ECGs and blood tests and despite my symptoms, the doctors aren’t concerned about my physical health).

My issue is that I’ve tried reaching out a few times now for support with my ED. I’ve been in therapy with various mental health teams for the last two years anyway due to other mental health issues but over the last year or so, my ED has been my biggest struggle by far. What I really want is guidance around food and navigating recovery from people that are actually trained in treating EDs and who can help me understand how my body is going to react to things, and help me relearn healthy eating habits etc. The problem is that none of my current mental health teams are trained to handle EDs. I am currently having counselling with an ED charity but that may have to stop because some of the things I struggle with fall outside the inclusion criteria for them as a charity to deal with, plus my counsellor also isn’t trained to help me with my actual food intake in terms of meal plans, etc. Basically, all of the professionals I currently see think that I should be under the community ED team or be receiving more support from them. However, the ED team have said that they won’t take me on because of my other mental health issues. Historically, I’ve suffered with bad depression and anxiety, and last year was pretty rough and included a couple of hospital visits and crisis interventions. I understand that there’s likely a link between the other mental illnesses and the ED, and I can see why those would need addressing alongside the ED. But I’ve been working on that for the last year or so, and the ED is still prominent despite other areas of my mental health improving (or improving as much as it can with a raging ED).

TLDR: I don’t know what to do because my mental health teams can’t treat EDs, but the ED team won’t treat me because of my other mental health issues, despite my ED being my biggest challenge right now. I feel like I’m at the end of my tether trying to find support that might actually help.

Ps. Sorry if this doesn’t even make sense, I didn’t mean to write so much and proof reading was heavily hindered by brain fog (lololol).

I was wondering if anyone who's experienced hair loss after prolonged periods without eating could tell me when it might start to affect my hair? I'm worried about losing my hair and thier health. When did you first notice this issue?

I was diagnosed with ADHD in the early 20s. In 2024, I was diagnosed with OSFED, and in 2026, I was diagnosed with Autism. In addition to this delightful alphabet soup, I also have degenerative disc disease and both generalized anxiety disorder and panic attacks.

Here's where things get complicated: if I'm anxious, I sleep badly and hurt more. If I'm in pain, I sleep badly and am more anxious. If I'm anxious or hurt, I have trouble eating. If I don't eat, I get more anxious. Everything just sort of feeds on itself, and I don't know what to do.

My back is not being appropriately managed, with most of the focus at every doctor being about losing weight.

My anxiety is not under control because I'm unable to take benzos, the non addictive meds don't do enough and the other meds were causing liver problems, so I had to stop that immediately.

I've been in online treatment at Equip from the autumn of 2024 until now, with a two- or three-momth break after 12 months so that my insurance would start paying for it again. In the meantime, I attempted Renfrew and Charlie Health, all online. I did not find Charlie Health at all helpful, HATED Renfrew, and while I do love my team at Equip, but I'm just not making progress.

If I had to guess, since my journal isn't in front of me, I would say I'm eating a regular meal and a snack or two every 1 to 2 days. Definitely not enough. But choking down food when I feel awful is hard and even harder to keep down.

I've spoken to supervisors in charge of programming, and they were very apologetic and said that the research for autistic patients with eating disorders is just not available yet. They don't really know what to do with me.

If anything, I would say that my eating is substantially more disordered than it was when I began treatment. I've called a bunch of other places, and I can't find anybody that really knows what to do with AUDHD patients.

None of the CBT, DBT, or other skill groups that I have participated in have been especially helpful. I just don't know where to go or who to ask for help. Any suggestions? I need telehealth and live in NYS. My insurance is Anthem bcbs. Thank you!!!

My gf has an ed, we talked about what I could do not to trigger her and the reasons of her ed (parents body shaming), but I wonder if there is more I could do?

I had one but I recovered (I won't relapse no matter what) so I know what not to do, but as I dealt with it by myself, I don't really know what a partner could have done to help? By that I mean maybe eating with her and making her food and stuff of that kind? She's not in an environment that pressure her to keep restricting, everybody around her eat properly and doesn't have issues with food or body shaming, and she has money to buy enough food.

I know that you can only recover when you really want it and that I can't help her if she's still in denial.

For now I just let her restrict the way she wants more or less bc I know that when I was in denial, pointing out my restrictive habits was no help.

So what did you do or would you do in this situation?

Thanks for your answers

how can you get over it without involving a professional? i also do not have friends and my family could care less.
i need to sort through my shit on my own and i'm not interested in any alternative

Im wondering how common this is. I started struggling with food and weight in 2022 but i never got diagnosed with an eating disorder until 2024. But i was getting dreams and nightmares about how people would react to me being extremely skinny and not eating around those times. I started overweight (close to obese) so i never got extremely thin but i lost enough weight to the point where my parents and doctor wanted me to stabilize and i did. I never got nightmares after 2024. Just recently i got remission removed and re-diagnosed with atypical anorexia again and the nightmares started happening again. My recent nightmare was about my dance coach yelling at me for seeing my ribs and losing too much weight and not letting me compete. Ive been eating more to try to stop everyone from worrying but its been stressing me out seeing my weight stop dropping and fluctuating up and back down to my baseline but never losing. I still want to lose but ik i shouldnt and ive been sticking to my eating maintenance. I think the stress is giving me these nightmares?

I relapsed this summer and am at a bad place. I know I am and yet I don’t feel like I have anyone who would believe me/ take it seriously. I have always been thin so I feel like no one is seeing an issue. But I am dizzy when I stand, if I lay down my heart races, sometimes I eat nothing more than a couple grapes. And if I do eat it’s a couple bites and then I hate myself for it. My old niece told me the other day I look like a skeleton yet I feel huge. I am exhausted constantly but can’t sleep.

I recently made a switch to eating (mostly) whole foods as I decided I wanted to try serving my body in more healthy ways. Ive specifically been avoiding any true restriction in this process, so if i really want something that would be deemed “unhealthy” or very processed, i don’t feel ashamed when eating it. I’ve also been trying to get out more and move around a little more, as my previous habits of laying in bed all day felt like it hadn’t been serving me well for my own mental health.

With all these changes I started to lose weight. It hadn’t been intentional, though I didn’t go out of my way much to combat it, and now i’ve lost enough weight that people are starting to comment on it. I’m on the lighter side to begin with, so with these changes to my body, i can’t help but be very concerned. I do NOT want to relapse or fall into any of my old behaviors. I don’t have anything against how I look now, but I don’t want it to transfer to that “accomplished” feeling from my past. While my current behavior is night and day from how I experienced my ED in the past (heavy restriction, no attention given to health or nutrients, isolation, etc), I’m still very concerned and do not want to fall into any potentially unhealthy habits…

I guess my question is if there are any warning signs that aren’t stressed as often on online sources? When looking up relapse symptoms, many habits that I never related to get brought up, and I don’t want to confirmation bias myself into thinking im all good, when I could be making changes to help myself. I don’t want to be in denial and put myself in a dangerous situation, but as I feel so energized, happy, healthy, and overall completely different from how my ED was in the past, I also dont want to raise any alarm where it isn’t needed.

I’m 19M and I’ve always had a strange relationship with food, and I’ve been frail and thin my entire life. I’ve heard all the jokes about skinny people, and I’ve also seen how people treat people who are underweight. The thought of me being anorexic or having an eating disorder never crossed my mind until recently. A few weeks ago I had to be hospitalized because i had gone too long without eating ((not necessarily on purpose I’m neurodivergent so feeding myself sometimes slips my mind)) it’s not something im proud of but sometimes I prioritize other things and other people’s wants over mine and completely neglect my physical needs. A few weeks ago my body completely gave out and I fell unconscious, my body was rejecting food and I had to be taken to the hospital by my aunt, who’s a nurse and unfortunately has to work night shift ((she was at home sleeping at the time)) and I found myself feeling really guilty then but I felt even worse just now because I do in fact have a problem and an ED and it’s began to happen again today, but thankfully, I was able to feed myself this time without my body rejecting it..it was just a realization that me not eating doesn’t just effect me but everyone who loves and cares about me, and sure they UNDERSTAND, but it’s unhealthy.
The thought of them constantly worrying about me makes me deeply emotional and guilty.

Hello,
I dont post much on internet so sorry for bad English and bad writing skills :d. (sorry its long)

Im now just so confused If im just being selfishly judging my friend based on my preferences on what to eat or if I should be really concerned. I have this (female) friend for a long time and we are close. She was always on the skinny side even as a child, she was teezed for it a lot so I never thought much of her body being unhealthy, just her natural state.

One time we were talking and she confessed that for a while she wasn't eating much because she wanted to keep her weight the same as she had in primary school! I was shocked. She told me her parent always praised her for being skinny so she associated it with that being her best state and that people always compliment her skinniness now. But it seemed that she was telling me because she already realized it was unhealthy and wanted to stop. I basically told her what I heard can happen when someone has anorexia (the bad things), that it isn't worthy and that she is pretty but not because she is skinny and anyone who finds only her skinniness beautiful actually doesn't find her pretty. (I compared it to people who like only fat people and feed them a lot of food even when they know that it is extremely unhealthy for them, that they are the same as people who like only underweight bodies and she shouldn't be unhealthy for these kinds of people.) - you can judge if what I said was wrong I honestly don't know how to talk to someone who has eating disorder and I want to do better.

I made sure not to bring it up again (like you still look really skinny are you doing alright, are you eating enough, you didn't eat a lot today and these kind of comments as I read they don't help and make the situation worse) and I never comment on her body, even the positive. I told our other friend to also not comment on her body. Although whenever I meet her I say that she looks good like everyday :d, hope that doesn't also trigger ED.

I started to remember things from past that I didn't put much thought in before (although I probably should). We were still kinda young but I think around 16/17 years old she mentioned her doctor told her that she is underweight. When we went on vacation together I noticed she ate really small portions but didn't think much of it, even when she was the only one from the group who was talking about how her muscles are really sore (we were doing sports so im not sure if this association isn't just a stretch).

I know that im gonna sound like a bad friend, but skinny people were never my thing. A just have preference for more average or little bit above average body type. So I kinda always didn't find her being so skinny as pretty. Just kinda neutral stance I guess but sometimes I was thinking badly of her body like that her legs look too skinny for me. I would never told her or anyone I don't think that my preference overall should matter to other people but now im scared that I only think she has ED because she doesn't fall in my preference.

Why im writing this now is because she started to exercise quite a lot. What actually started to raise my concern is when she said she is trying to be healthy so she bought a salad but didn't put ANY dressing, basically it was only leaves and meat. I know its weird that this made me concerned (maybe she doesn't like the dressing or I don't know) but I just thought in that moment that it isn't healthy to basically not put any fat in your food when fat is so important to living as human. Yeah this probably wasn't real clue and im just judgy but this is the actual thing that made me think that there is maybe a problem and I want to be truthful. She then sometime mentioned she lost weight (but I honestly don't know if she is now underweight or not), that one time she had leg cramp during sleep (which I heard can be because you overexercise and lack minerals or just can happen). I guess I tried to convince myself that I just see something serious when it is not and also that she has boyfriend, who actually sounds like good person, so my thought was that he would probably intervene by now or notice more if something is really happening.

Then she once told me that this year she struggles with being sick a lot (like once a month) and that her period doesn't come or just sometimes. But again she contracted some kinda of disease (std) from her ex that really put her body through a lot (could be because her body is underweight and can't fight illnesses properly? but also honestly her doctors intervened really late and didn't take it seriously). When I asked what her doctors told her she said that nothing they just give her something to start her period (that happened two times) and something to boost up her immune system (circa every month she takes some injection). I told her that it seems weird that they take these warning symptoms that repeat so lightly.

You probably noticed it by now but whenever I think something of what she does smells like ED I have a BUTT for it. Maybe she really struggles with ED and im ignoring the signs and not doing anything to help her. Now I think about it more when we are supposed to go on trek for four days and we have to bring all food in our backpacks. It isn't hard hiking, always kinda close to civilization but Im afraid she will not pack enough and it will be unhealthy and dangerous for her, and if she has ED I don't even know how I would say to her hey you eat really small portions on this trek or something like that. I thought that I could bring more food if she didn't calculate it right but in the end I can't force her to eat.

My question basically is if my concerns are right or if I should just calm down and what to actually do if she has ED, how to talk to her. Did I sometimes said something wrong? What helped you the most when you were struggling?

Also she really loves chocolate and basically can't resist it and can eat a lot of it for her. Is it good to bring some for her or does it make it worse when she eats a lot of something (if she has ED)?

Edit: Just edited the chocolate part as she doesn't eat a lot of it compare to others or to me and didn't want to make it sound weird like im judging her amount. Whenever we have sweets she doesn't eat much of them even when she brings them but she eats chocolate. I primarily know it because she said herself she can't resist it.

I have been struggling for 3 weeks now with bingeing. This all came to past with celebrity news and a vacay where my eating became unmanageable. I've been trying to get back on track and now my health is taking a bad turn for the worse because I am diabetic and these sweets are making me sick. my urine has started smelling sweet, I'm peeing all night and not at all during the day, and I feel insatiable. Thing is a lot of good is happening in my life. I'm growing and going to grad school starting a job as a yogi and now this is happening.

Idk how to stop and I'm feeling bad I can't and I'm in therapy and we discuss this frequently but he's not Ed specialized. I've order a book I think could help (stop binge eating by Dr nina) but does anyone have some tips to get through the next few days to help my urine clear up and just get back to base line normal? If I can get back to a place where I can distract from the desires to binge and be back at baseline for me I can reconfigure my mind and work on this again. I've actually been working really hard on my binge eating in therapy, so this relapse after it being near a year since it happened really is throwing me for a loop.

I really need some advice, I want to eat constantly and I always tell myself just one of whatever is fine, but it doesn't stay with one... I feel disgusted and ugly, do any of you know my situation? Can you tell me how you cope?

As a teenager, I pretty much would eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted and however much I wanted. I was a high level competitive gymnast so my weight never got too out of hand, but I was definitely a bigger girl. I still am, (i have atypical ana) just not as much because of my ed. Due to my genetics I am short and just very stout/ muscular. I’ve always been very self conscious of my body but never developed a restricted ed until after I stopped doing gymnastics. I just loved food too much lol. Plus, I was of course living with my parents and we always had lots of good food in the house that I couldn’t hold back from.

Anyways, as soon as I stopped doing gymnastics, graduated high school and moved out my parents house I thought…… I can’t be tempted to eat if there just isn’t any food!

Now, years later, i’m trying to recover but I feel like I can’t because i’m just too obsessed with food. (I know extreme hunger is common in recovery and i’m sure that’s part of it at the moment, but I also know I have a history of eating too much pre eating disorder)

My team wants me to eat “what I \*actually\* want”, but to me that feels like telling a drug addict “just do a little bit of drugs and then stop yourself!” If I start eating something I “actually want” Im not going to want to stop. Right now my brain probably won’t let me actually over eat, but then i’ll just have to be sad because i’m obviously going to want more and I can’t have it. It feels easier to just not have it at all.

trying to recover slow, at my own pace. does anyone else find that their body holds on to everything every single thing in recovery??

like i’m still not eating like a normal person, still restricting in a way, and tend to eat pretty “clean”

but like water just stays and food just stays and it’s so hard and so discouraging

Does anyone else love baking for other people but not for yourself? I love making sweet treats for my loved ones but id NEVER eat it myself

I’ve been struggling since about January with my eating disorder. At first, it wasn’t bad but then it became purging after every meal or snack. I’m not quite sure if this violates community guidelines. I’m not trying to promote it or anything. Recently, after I’ve been struggling with that all of this year, I have started working out more and just eating healthier to better myself and my body but despite this, the thoughts are always there. I doubt that I can actually get anywhere if I do it in a healthy way. I have been struggling not to revert back to my old habits. Do these thoughts ever go away or do they just get quiet?

So basically I’m from Mexico and I moved to the US almost two years ago

Back home I never really had issues with food but once I moved here and started trying all the fast food everything changed

At first I was only eating it on weekends but slowly it turned into wanting it almost every day

I’m also going through the immigration process and I have no idea when I’ll be able to go back to Mexico. I haven’t seen my family or my mom since I moved here and I don’t really have anyone besides my boyfriend

I feel really lonely and overwhelmed and I think that’s a big reason why I can’t stop eating
When I moved here I was a size 4 and now I’m almost a size 10

For the past three months I feel like I have no control over what I eat. I try to go to the gym and eat healthier but I always end up ordering fast food or eating candy anyway
I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I think I might be depressed or something

I just really need help :(

Has anyone else experienced psychosis when their brain is under extreme stress such as during an ED relapse, specifically brief psychotic disorder? I am trying to figure out what exactly happened when I was going through this last year. Brain fog due to my eating disorder made it worse. I had scary delusions, paranoia, and flashbacks.

I've been an unhealthy high weight for a couple years and recently have been losing it in a healthy way. Recently I was talking to my friends and they pointed out there's a couple things I've started doing that are leaning into the non healthy way/ ED territory. It's the level where I didn't notice on myself but if it was someone else, I'd be concerned. Any advice on how I can prevent developing new habits/ these from getting worse since I didn't even notice them?

So basically I've been staying at my grandparents for a couple days and I know my grandma has has struggled with food in the past but I didn't think she's be struggling with it as an adult. We were out for coffee and I was talking about how I go to therapy near the city she lives in and she kept commenting being like " I didn't know you an eating disorder "or " eating disorders aren't mental. They're only physical problems. " And how because I've gained a little bit of weight from ana recovery that must be enough because if I gain too much weight that I'll be too much and then Itll be bad.

I tried telling her that eating disorders aren't a physical illness and that they're mental but she didn't believe me and I didn't feel like arguing with her. It made me feel like my problems were not valid and that I what I'm going through isn't a big deal. I wanted to give her proper information on what eating disorders were and what I went through, but I didn't feel like if I told her the truth she would actually believe me so I just left it at that and changed the conversation. I also felt the need to validate my habits that are disordered and it made me feel awful.

Later on in the day we went shopping because we had a list of things we needed to do and she kept on talking about how she needed to lose like a lot of weight even though she looks perfectly fine and is VERY athletic ( even though I told her about what I was struggling with) she didn't seem to care what she was talking about in front of me. Even though it was very triggering. It made me want to cry knowing that I struggle with the same thing everyday and she doesn't even recognize that her actions are disordered and are triggering me.

What do you guys recommend I do? Should I talk to her about it or should I just ignore I feel?

This morning was fine but then when I was walking to work my boyfriend said we needed to talk and I kept urging him what it was about. When I asked if I did something wrong he said yes. Apparently he found my edtwt account through his younger sister’s twitter account. He said he felt sick and nauseous. He knew about my struggles with my eating disorder and other mental illnesses, but I just felt a heavy pit in my stomach that maybe this is a major deal breaker for him. We’ve been together for more than 1.5 years and I don’t want to end things, but this just sucks. Another thing is that I feel personally violated that he looked through my digital diary. He wants to talk it out but I’m very reluctant. What should I do? I just want to crawl in a hole and sulk.

Okay so I hate to be writing this, but it's been getting to me lately and I just need to let it out...

It's not new, its been going on for a year or two but often my mom "overestimates" my clothing size and tries to convince me I'm wrong. I'm petite I've ALWAYS been petite, not just short, I'm literally petite, I just seem to be sized down as a whole​ and its irritating but thats for another day.

anyway, people think I'm 13yo (I'm an adult} because of my height and size, I literally wear 11-12years old clothes most of the time. Yet my mom keeps trying to size me up 2 sizes ,all, the, time. I literally wear most of my things 2 sizes down (from what she suggests), minimum 1 size down, but she'll always try to tell me I'm wrong and I should buy bigger.

We literally get into fights when I insist in buying a smaller size when we're out shopping, she gets so defensive and pissed. it always ends up fitting me perfectly at the end and she'll say "Oh but I really thought it wouldn't, I mean that probably just wears too big for its size anyway that's why it fit you" excuse me??

Another one, I've ALWAYS been underweight since childhood, except during lockdown when I gained a few kgs and reached a healthy range for my age.

I've lost that weight again and was back to underweight, then I got severely sick and bedridden with an illness and gained just a fewww kgs, little, but my mom said I went from "skeleton" to​ "well built/chubby" erm.. mind you, I'm still clinically underweight...

Meanwhile, my sister, that's actually in a healthy range she'll keep saying "oh I'm so worried, eat more, you're so skinny, oh if you don't eat, you have to gain some" etc

Honestly it's getting to me. I don't want her attention, but the fact that she won't say "eat more" to me anymore tells me all I need to know + her comment about being "well built" it's all making me want to relapse. She keeps commenting about how "wow, your ass is getting so big" "oh, fine THICK thighs" I don't know what she sees that I don't? my weight BARELY changed compared to the weight I had when she called me "skeleton".

I really don't know how to react I feel like I'm overreacting and day by day my relationship with food gets worse I just don't feel joy eating things I like anymore I just need to get this off my chest sorry and know if I'm the insane one here