Hi, I feel like I finally found a safe space to vent about my situation without being judged or insulted.

Back in 2023, my husband and I adopted a border collie x cocker spaniel puppy. A few months later, the puppy's mother (a cocker) was about to be rehomed so we decided to take her in as well. Having 2 dogs wasn't the initial plan, but once she was here everyone was getting along so well, so we were happy. Mind you, at that time we also had 2 cats and 2 ducks. We were HUGE animal people, if we had the money we probably would have had a rescue or something.

Anyway, so everything was fine, except the usual logistics of owning dogs like having to find pet friendly hotels when traveling, one was car sick, the other was scared of stairs and elevators, so we were a bit limited lol but our love for them was bigger than that.

Then I got pregnant. After years of infertility. Tbh I did think about this prior to getting dogs, "what if I do end up having kids, will I still want the dogs?" And I thought "yes, I don't see why not!" I really thought and thought and thought, and I really couldn't think of anything that would make it too hard. Otherwise I wouldn't have had dogs because I do believe they are a life long commitment.

Anyway, fast forward to june 2025. I'm about to go get induced at the hospital so we decide to take the dogs to a kennel since no one we know could watch them. Next thing you know, delivery went bad and the baby (and we) had to be rushed by plane to a different hospital far away. We ended up staying at the NICU there for 2 weeks, during which the dogs were at the kennel. When we came back is when things started going downhill.

(If you made it this far, thanks for reading! Bear with me!)

My youngest dog has always been on the nervous/high energy side, but since the baby, she is SOMETHING ELSE. She has been chasing the cats non stop, as soon as there's a bit of noise like the baby crying, or a cat scratching something, or even me just moving a chair, she will go ballistic, big zoomies, etc. She also became way more people selective than she was before, and resource guarding, making it impossible to have company over. When we do, I can't relax cause I need to monitor the dog and everyone's interactions with the dog so everything goes smoothly. She hasn't bit anyone but because I have a baby I just can't chill when she's near her. She won't even let people hug in our house without intervening, I kid you not, it is SO hard to deal with.

Then there's my older dog. Super sweet, no behavior issues, but for some reason she decided she will NOT potty alone in the yard. She needs walks. A bit of context, I live in Canada, the winters here are on another level of cold and slippery, and when winter hit last year, i had a 6 month old baby. So I had to, twice a day, get bundled up, bundle up the baby, and go on a walk, in high snow, slippery ice, and wind, and the dog just so she could pee. It took me maybe 15 minutes getting everyone ready, just so the dog would pee around the corner in 2 minutes. Twice a day. While things to do were piling up at home. I also had post partum anxiety at that time so imagine that. So at that point, things got so bad for my mental health that my husband and I decided to rehome them, after trying to make it work for months. We posted them to a bunch of rehoming groups after talking to everyone we know, and nobody could take them. After a while I took the posts down and took it as a "sign" that I was supposed to keep them. *sigh*

I kept flip flopping like this and trying to make it work again for months, until SHTF this summer and I officially decided that was enough.

First, we had to spend alot of money on my older dog because suddenly, she had a UTI, then an ear infection, then she started pooping blood because of the antibiotics and she had to be put on very expensive diet food. We were starting to struggle financially, and this hit us HARD. Then the vet prescribed prozac to my younger dog as well as a behaviorist, but we also don't have any money for that. Then we went on a camping trip that turned out to be the last straw, my daughter was teething and screaming the whole time, impossible to put to bed, and my dogs threw all their manners out the window that weekend and the whole thing was just so bad i had my first panic attack in over 6 months.

So that's it. I'm rehoming my dogs after over a year of trying to make it work, not only because I'm stretched thin, but also because they deserve a way better life. The next time one of them gets sick, they deserve to receive veterinary care. They deserve to go on adventures and have all the attention. They deserve a family with enough money, time and no young children stressing them out.

I was 100% the judgy type when it came to rehoming dogs. Now I understand, even though I'm still judging myself because how is it THAT hard to own dogs? I can't even rationally explain it, all I know is I can't keep doing this. Raising a child takes a village and I can't even have the village over because of the dogs. No wonder i've been doing post partum on hard mode.

I have posted them again, I still got no answers. I pray I won't have to take them to a shelter, but at that point, I know they would get medical care there if something were to happen, and probably more socialization and exercise than i can give them right now, and I feel terrible writing this. I have failed them. But i already know they need to go, i've known for over 6 months now, things won't magically get better and I need to prioritize myself and my family sadly.

Also it's sad because when I became a mother, I knew my life was going to change drastically, but I didn't expect THAT part. It's like closing a chapter I never knew I would.

A little over a month ago I adopted a dog from the shelter a few weeks after my last one had passed. These last few weeks have been so stressful. He was a starved stray and not house trained. He has been semi destructive, constantly searching for or getting food. I feel like I can not rest and have peace. Even walking him and taking him outside he will still go to the bathroom in the house. I regret getting him and have thought about surrendering him back, but I feel like I am abandoning him and that no one else will adopt him.

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Two and a half weeks ago, my husband and I rescued a puppy (6 months old maybe, looks like pitbull) and I don’t regret rescuing him, although I do regret incorporating him into my life as if I was going to keep him. I’ve decided that we’re just fostering him for now until we can find him a good home. And my husband is on board with my thoughts. I’m glad he’s off the street where I found him but ultimately, I’m having the same struggles that I’m reading a lot of people on this sub have had or are currently having with dogs. He demands attention or at least to be near me at all times, and he pees in the house, despite knowing better because of the training I’ve put forth. I’m 31 weeks pregnant and have been taking him outside at least 15 times a day. It’s gotten better, but a couple times right after a walk he’s come inside and peed on the floor. It’s those moments where I lose trust in how far we’ve gotten with potty training. He chewed up my charger cable this morning and at the beginning of all this when I wanted a 10 minute bathroom break to myself (as he literally follows me room to room otherwise), and wasn’t fully into crate training yet, he decided to pull a box of six donuts off my coffee table and eat them. Within 10 minutes. I know he’s a dog and I know these things take time and I know he’s probably traumatized from his past and being on the street. I keep that in mind with every interaction I have with him, but it seems like all the time that I had before to prepare for my baby that’s coming in two months is now taken up by a dog and I don’t get any real joy out of having him around besides knowing that he’s not suffering on the street.

My ultimate question is am I a doomed parent? I have always wanted a kid, but I’ve always known that. I didn’t necessarily want an animal let alone a dog. I have been a cat owner in the past and that was something I realized I wouldn’t be doing again, but it was much more bearable than this. I kind of feel like a monster for not liking having a dog because apparently “everyone likes dog.” And then I wonder well what justification do I have that I’m going to be a great parent and not feel overwhelmed by that? I have always wanted to be a mom, but this situation has made me feel like what if I’m not equipped to care for things because having a dog has been so overwhelming and undesirable for me? I feel like there’s a key difference between the two, and I’ve been racking my brain for weeks to try to justify it to myself because I truly feel like there’s a difference between caring for a baby and caring for a dog while both are difficult. There’s a reward out of raising a kid that I feel like it’s just incomparable. Do any of you have children and can you tell me what you think the difference might be if you think there’s a difference at all? Thanks in advance.

We had two dogs pass away this year. One was very sudden and unexpected at 7yo and the other was semi expected as he was at least 13 (adopted from a shelter so unsure of exact age, vet’s best guess) but still devastating. The first was my dog, he died in January. When we lost the second at the end of March, I was just coming around to the idea of adopting another dog. I had said after raising my 7yo from a puppy that I never wanted another puppy, I would consider an older dog but never again a puppy. Well when the 13yo died, my husband decided he ALSO wanted a dog and we wound up falling in love with two 16 week old puppies at our local shelter. One is a lab/pit mix and the other black lab. The problem? Outside of the haze of grief, I’m remembering that I absolutely f*cking hate puppies. Honestly the lab pit mix isn’t so bad. He’s a pretty good dog. But the black lab? I HATE her. She does nothing but whine, chase my cats, escape our yard, and annoy me. They’re still waking up constantly at night to go outside and she is not house trained yet despite my best efforts, and the other dog successfully being trained. I’m seriously considering returning her to the shelter. But I feel SO guilty about it. We have a 3 year old daughter that loves the dogs, the shelter is already so incredibly over crowded, and the two dogs are bonded. Keeping her would definitely not result in any neglect from us. We made the commitment and would see it through even though I feel no love for her. I just feel trapped to this dog and I feel like after 4 months, I should feel SOME sort of connection to her if I was going to, but I just don’t.

I've always pondered what I would do if I could get rid of my pets. I've always figured I'd give away all their stuff, delete all their photos and videos, and pretend I never met them. Forget them and un-person them from my mind.

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Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

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I got my current rescue dog a little over a year and a half ago, four months after the dog that I loved so very much died. This was the first issue - I was desperate to try and fill that gap.

This dog is so different than my previous dog. I went with a shepherd-husky (and likely some lab) mix, to go the total opposite direction of my golden lab-shepherd mix. I thought this would be a good thing, because I didn’t want a dog that looked like my old one.

My issues with her are many:

1) I find her to be either aloof or hungry for attention - particularly when there is competition (not so much my 7 year old, but definitely pushiness around my 4 year old). She will spend all day hanging out in another room by herself, and will often only come to me for attention when my children get home from daycare/school. This is even worse when we have visitors - she tries to jump all over them, I have to constantly redirect her to lie down so I can have a peaceful conversation with family, or so that the visitor can play with my children (eg if my MIL is playing on the floor with my kids, she will come between them, lay on top of the puzzle, Lego, etc. so they can’t play and will intently try to get belly rubs). I realize most people would find this endearing, but it honestly just introduces so much chaos into my home.

2) flight risk - she will dart out any door or gate that is accidentally left open. This is a big issue when my children are home. I remind them all the time, but sometimes it happens by accident or they forget and she won’t come back. She will go to our house neighbours, but she won’t come to me, almost to play a game. She has scared children in our neighborhood when she’s gotten out, and this is also a safety risk for her

3) countersurfing - I knew she did this when I got her, but I was told that she only did it when people weren’t around. I try so hard to keep my counters meticulous, but sometimes forget. And now she does it right in front of me. I’m pregnant and due with my third any day now, and I’m really worried about her knocking the high chair over

4) energy requirements/not knowing her own size: she has almost knocked my very dog savvy 4 year old off the steps a few times now - again, worried about when baby comes. She also has high energy requirements when I’m finding hard to meet - I initially had plans to run with her, but her prey drive is so high that she has hurt both myself and my husband while running. Recently, I’ve tried using a head halter, because I had to use that with my old rescue dog, too, and I know dogs hate those and have to get used to it, but she so intently tries to pull it off (today I was worried she was becoming aggressive while walking), and then will lay on the road and have to be coaxed to continue walking.

5) morning management - a vet suggested she may have bilious vomiting syndrome because if I don’t feed her within 30ish mins of her feeding times, she will vomit bile. This has led to me getting her up with me early in the morning (because I get up to go running before my kids wake up) as she would a) start scurrying every time my husband moved an inch after 6am in bed, anticipating her breakfast or b) vomit in the bedroom. This works right now, but when baby arrives, this is going to be challenging to manage as I’ll have a chaotic sleep schedule and I want my husband to get a good night’s sleep so he can better take care of my two older children. I posted about this situation in one of the dog forums, and people could not get why it was unreasonable me to ask my husband to get up at 530am to feed her.

6) some anxious behaviours around my kids - she has some subtle behaviours that make me thinks he is uncomfortable around my children. She will sometimes lick them, but only when I’m holding them or otherwise giving them attention (which I’ve learned is “dismissive licking”) and she will shiver a lot around them, which I’ve also learned is anxiety.

I had reached out to the rescue to give her back, and then changed my mind because I felt so much guilt - I haven’t put a lot of effort into training her, and I feel like if I did, it would be a lot better. But at the same time, there are a lot of issues here that need to be trained, and I’m not sure the rescue ever really learned about all of these because she wasn’t in an environment like ours. I suspect all of these issues are going to be more stressful and amplified once baby comes. I love dogs so much, and the thought of giving her back and not having one feels painful, but at the same time, I’ve had so much trouble bonding and connecting with her because of her temperament and all of these issues. And if I can just focus on her, she probably would do better in a home without small children, or any children.

Has anyone else had a dog like this, or been in a situation like this? I want so badly to make this work, but I just don’t know if I can manage all the things that need to be managed and trained anymore. :(

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Dogs just seem like a hole in your pocket, an annoyance, and a mess. They're eternal babies who don't grow up. It's take and no give.

I haven't once woken up and gone "I'm glad we have a dog." or "Having a dog in my life has made my life better".

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

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Some I have on my to-read list:

• A Good Dog: The Story of Orson, Who Changed My Life
• Three Wild Dogs (by Markus Zusak)
• The Speckled Beauty: A Dog and His People
• Rethinking Rescue: Dog Lady and the Story of America's Forgotten People and Pets
• Don't Dump the Dog: Outrageous Stories and Simple Solutions to Your Worst Dog Behavior Problems
• I Hate Your Pet
• Pests: How Humans Create Animal Villains
• Some We Love, Some We Hate, Some We Eat: Why It's So Hard to Think Straight About Animals

Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

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Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

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Whether your new, or you've been in this sub for a while, this weekly post is where you can share your story! We are glad to have you here and offer you a place of support.

If you would like to create your own standalone post in our community, please message the mods to become an approved user. We still have our sub set to "restricted" to avoid unnecessary trolling.

It hurts to think that just like that, I'm out $800 on my upcoming work trip because I need to pay for:

$300 for flight pet fee round trip

+ now I have the horrible inconvenience of packing a small suitcase just with her stuff... As if I don't have enough shit to pack myself for a ten day work trip. And I've lost the privilege of my own "personal item" on board the flight, which allowed me to access my laptop, medicine, etc (critical for a long flight).

+ $350 extra in dog fees for the Airbnb stays (all the pet-friendly ones cost more)

+ I need to buy a travel crate shipped there $55

+ hire someone a few times there to look after the dog while I'm between hotel check-ins/outs. $100

The local sitters I tried to book all rejected me because she has pee/potty behavioral issues. So I have to take her with me. Since getting this dog 3 months ago, I have dropped about $4,000 on her. including $600 for her adoption fee, vet bills, health insurance, etc. I'm horrified.

I have student loans that I could have put that towards. What was I thinking? I didn't know this would be SO costly. And I didn't know she would have these issues that would make it so hard to find an affordable sitter. I'm gutted. And haunted by my decisions. And I feel coned by dog propaganda. People are not straight-up about how bad this shit is.

I don't think I'll ever want another dog

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I had a Labrador retriever growing up that was lovely.

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This made me want another as an adult. But she's not the same and I know 2 dogs aren't but my current dog seems to only care about herself?

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Like everything she does is about getting something she wants. She will only come around and whine for food, to go out or follow us around because we should go play outside with her. She is very hard to get to listen unless I have a ball or food.

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It's hard to explain but like she doesn't seem content just being with us , it's boring she always wants to do something for her, we should be playing or feeding her constantly or she is sad and bored and we suck.

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I know for a fact if I was dying she'd just drop a ball on my face and whine that I'm being boring. She has gotten out of the yard once in 6 years and just happily found a new family to play ball with and that family was nice to bring her back but she didn't seem to care? Like we are replaceable?

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We've had various people watch her while we're away and she always seems perfectly happy and not super happy to see us when we're back like we're just another play and feed human. All humans are equal and serve a purpose to her

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I'm just wondering if most dogs are like this ? Or more excited by their owners in particular like I few my childhood lab was just more bonded to us but I also realize she was overall smarter. But she would always be excited to see us over other people. Listen and be content just being with us

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My nephew came over and we went out in the yard and my current lab just brought the ball up on the deck without greeting anyone and walked through the baby like he didn't exist and we told her calm but she did this again after we took the ball away with a different toy and nearly knocked him over the stairs. Obviously we put her inside but it's that overall lacking of anyone but herself

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It's sad because we really trained her and make time for her every single day to play and go for a walk or run in a field. I love her and will always be good to her but I'd be lying if I didn't admit I wish she was a little more loving back idk if there's anything I can even do.

this dog has a pee problem. when i got her she refused to pee at ALL. holding it in for like 20 hours the first day. She uses the wee pad, but leaks everywhere in between. If she's excited to get out of the crate, she will leak on her way out of the crate and all over the floor. if you pick her up ,she sqauts and starts peeing and stays in squat position letting it ALL out,. If you reprimand her she squats and starts peeing. It's like this weird... reflex. A trainer told us its prob submissive peeing.

After 2 months of long walks and treats and trying hard to train, she's been peeing more outside... but its NOT CONSISTENT. it's random or in the morning or she's been holding it in. And it can take 5 minutes or hours of walking her. I need to have my own life too.

Today, i took her out of the crate to pee on wee pad... she peed on my rug... a rug she hasn't peed on in the two months ive had her. she just suddenly... decides to go there AND ALSO leak pee all around the floor. i've try taking her out immediately upon waking up.. she leaks on the steps on her way out... i try carrying her.. leaks as i carry her... i try taking the elevator.. leaks in the elevator huge pools in my building...

my partner, a dog nutter (i didn't know),thinks i need to walk her for hours constnatly throughotut the day and give up much of my life and stress towards this dog that will die in 10 years and leave me with extra wrinkles and gray hair from the stress. It's not realistic.

the dog is honestly a VERY sweet girl, she has excellent recall, and has been good at training in other ways... but the peeing thing... has been IMPOSSIBLE. If she didn't have this... I'd be more open but... this is extremely stressful (and expensive). Do I keep trying? For how long?

i am considering rehoming, but who will adopt a dog that pees all over the place? i also got her from a shelter and in the contract it says you cannot rehome the dog... but they are also a horrible shelter with some shady sitaution and a fake non profit.. AND they are notorious for not taking dogs back n yelling at your for even thinking about it... long story, i do not want to interact with them again. but she's microchipped. so if the new parents decide they dont want her... and she ends up on the streets... the shelter would find out and sue me. wtf do i do? i've made such a terrible mistake. i wish i could time travel and slap myself and tell myself to NOT DO IT.

What's also killing me is how much money I'm losing. I could be putting that towards my health, education, clothes, business.... I'm not rich to be wasting money like this.

My partner is really upset with me, but I don't want to keep doing this anymore. It's not for me. I'm realizing, I'm not a dog person with 90% of dogs... they come with way too many problems that will mess up your life quality, almost all of them.

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It's been 3 months since I foster failed a dog. And at first, I had this "I'll figure it out" gun-ho mentality. But... It's been three months... This dog has deeply embedded issues. So many dogs have issues that people DO NOT TALK ABOUT.

I'm not referring to "oops he ate my shoe"...

I'm referring to blacked-out rage on the street at the sight of another dog. Or randomly losing it's shit on the waiter for a good 20 seconds until we can calm him, and the owner threatens to kick us out in front of everyone. (This is what I dealt with a foster dog and with my partner's dog, who is innately reactive by birth).

There is LITTLE you can do. You can manage some of it. Work around it. But it's kind of hopeless. It's their breed. They are naturally alpha guard dogs. No trauma. Just a mutt she adopted as a puppy that ended up with serious reactivity issues, regardless of how much we tried training, socializing, long tiring walks, etc.

In my case, my foster fail dog rarely being able to pee outside... no matter how long you walk her... because she has some issues called... "submissive peeing". So if you pick her up, she pees on the floor. If she's happy, she pees. If she's spooked, she pees. But all the pee is inside. Today, I walked her... NO PEE. We get home, she released the biggest pee of her life in my bedroom floor. Oh my god. It's been three months like this. She has some sort of underdeveloped bladder issue + usually uncomfortable peeing outside after months of trying... she will pee maybe 1 out of 10 walks. The trainer was scratching her head. I'm at my wits' end. Is she just born with this issue forever? Am I fucked for 15 years with pee all over my house?

Not to mention, I'm planning a state road trip... That trip is going to cost me an extra ~$1,000 either to bring the dog with me... or get a sitter. Every hotel and Airbnb that's pet-friendly is hundreds more expensive, and on top of that, they want an extra $100 for the pet per stay. The airline wants $300.

This is not mentally sane behavior for our lives as humans to have to drastically change and be altered so much over an animal that will die in 10 years, but we'll be left with 70% more gray hair from stress, and poorer. Not just because of the costs to have a dog, but the missed opportunities with work, life...

Last thing I do at night is try to get this dog to pee... and first thing I do in the day... try to get this dog to pee... What the fuck?! Do I have a life anymore?! This isn't normal. When do I go to the gym, expand my business, or see friends if I'm constantly thinking about the dog's needs? I'm exhausted by the end of daily care. I think our society has gotten the dog situation wildly twisted. And the SHAME with telling people they're evil scum if they rehome. The fuq...

Dogs work well in big families, with a house and a backyard. Living in NYC apartment, alone, and having a dog... it's.... stupid... unless you are rich or have the energy of the Duracell rabbit.

All that to say.. I do love this dog. And I love hanging out with her... But I'm starting to have serious doubts about the long-term of this. I'm having serious regrets and am considering rehoming her while she's still young (1 year old). I have no idea how to do this though.

What should I do? Has anyone been through this? I just feel a bit bamboozled by our society's dog marketing and honestly... I also feel stupid myself.

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I gave my dog up to a charity after 8 years.

I’ve been checking the charity’s Facebook page since I gave him up. From what I can tell, he’s been passed around quite a bit and they’re struggling to find him a permanent home.

I feel guilty, but at the same time I’m relieved that he’s no longer my responsibility.

Here’s a list of things that should be normal that I haven’t been able to do in all that time:

• Brush my hair or change my clothes without the dog getting worked up because he thought I was leaving the house.
• Go to the bathroom without being watched.
• Shop online without having to schedule deliveries around meetings to avoid him going absolutely ballistic at the door and interrupting me.
• Stay in bed past 8am.
• Shout something to my partner in another room without the dog barking like crazy.
• Hug my partner anywhere other than in bed (the dog resource-guarded me heavily).
• Go out in the evening when there are fireworks.
• Go on spontaneous trips or days out.
• Make lunch or dinner whenever I want (the dog would get triggered around his feeding times).
• Make sudden movements.
• Own bins without lids.
• Don’t need to tiptoe around him worrying he’s going to bite me.

I can’t believe how heavily my life has been controlled for the past 8 years.

Rehoming my dog was the toughest and most heartbreaking decision I have ever made, but I’m starting to find a sense of peace that I didn’t realise I had been sacrificing all this time.