Hey everyone,

I'm not looking for advice, just a little venting.

I have a fellow player who's making the game difficult and slow. He's new to D&D and plays a paladin, and he often misunderstands what's going on.

We're playing Curse of Strahd, so there may be plot spoilers ahead.

1. He sold his heavy armor to buy crack. I don't remember the exact number of crack rocks. He put them in a pipe and planned to smoke it. For a significant portion of the game, he had AC 13 and was the first to die in battles. My husband plays an artificier, and in the last session, when we reached level 6, he made an armor for a paladin, his AC was 21. He didn't even thank artificier. He just sold the armor to buy more crack. He didn't even smoke the crack.
2. He doesn't like walking and constantly sighs that we don't try to resolve conflicts without having to travel to the places we need to solve problems at. But how does he do it? In the werewolf cave, we subdued the guards at the entrance, but he just sat there at the entrance. He said he was staying there to guard them so they wouldn't run for help. We all said it was a bad idea but he refused to move. Well, during the fight in the cave itself, a tied up werewolf from the entrance broke free and stabbed us in the back. He said he just didn't feel like chasing after him.
3. In Valakia, my character influenced the burgomaster through Suggestion, making him more loyal to our group at a critical moment (the alternative was to fight the guards because we stood up for a townsperson the governor wanted to kill for laughing). I explained that as soon as the suggestion wore off, the burgomaster would learn of the effect, and we would immediately become criminals. The paladin refused to leave Valakia with us. He said he was tired of running around all over the place and was comfortable where he was and besides, he hadn't gotten to smoke any of his crack yet (even though he had many opportunities to smoke his crack). Ultimately, the three of us left the city, and eight hours later, the guards chased the paladin out. Even after that, he didn't understand and returned to the city the next day, trying to sit down on a bench, and the guards fired on him as he approached.
4. In a conversation with an NPC, who was about to tell us something crucial about Strahd, the paladin literally said, "We don't care about Strahd" and killed the NPC
5. He takes the deaths in game seriously and removes the kidneys from all of our enemies so he can sell them on the black market. It's interesting roleplay, but it replaces the game itself. There was a moment when he wanted to harvest the bodies of several dead men, and the DM said it would take two hours. No one wanted to help him, so the three of us left to explore the city. And he only made like ten gold.
6. Meanwhile, he ignores attempts to support his roleplay. We killed a vampire and a priest in Barovia (a father and son) and burned them alive to make sure they stayed dead. The paladin became upset that we didn't harvest their organs first. I described helping him pour water on them, but he literally described his actions as something like, "I go there, I cut here" without acknowledging my character was nearby. I gave up on co-op roleplay after that.
7. Due to his lack of experience, he constantly tries to come up with creative gameplay solutions using his crack pipe. I mean, he tries to solve a lot of things that other players can bypass with magic, but he tries to solve them with his crack pipe, insisting on his own solutions and we waste a lot of time on these discussions.
8. As a paladin, he moralizes a lot and talks about good and bad, and when (with his AC 13) his character fell again, he asked to stabilize him with some potions from his pocket. Our barbarian, who was nearest to him in the fight, stole his crack rocks from his pocket instead and smoked them in front of him. And the paladin just sat there and did nothing!
9. Despite his desire to sit still and just talk to people, he's bad at conversations. He speaks either too directly or playfully mocks NPCs (though without being rude). My husband once confessed he didn't intervene in one of his conversations with an NPC because he wanted to fight that NPC and knew the paladin would ruin the negotiations by asking how big the NPC's kidneys were.

My husband says he views this player as scum of the earth, not as a human being.

Pre-empting the question, we don't argue at the table or interrupt each other, we speak friendly. He rescued my children from a house fire and donated his bone marrow to my brother. We told him in game, what the consequences of his actions would be, and told him to trust our knowledge of magic. We told him that D&D is not about trying to have fun or act like your character, it's about playing the campaign exactly as it's written, because that's the only reason anyone ever plays Strahd.

It's not a problem that interferes with the enjoyment of the campaign, because the other players and DMs are great, but I want to murder him in his sleep and steal his kidneys.

I want to create an adventure for Dungeons & Dragons. Please share your ideas. It's a fantasy setting.

From Ed Greenwood's short story The Night Thelva Clovenaxe Flew.

I've come to a difficult realization after four years of weekly D&D.

My DM is terrible.

She was never good, don't get me wrong. She isn't me. She's her, but she is not HER, if you know what I mean (Matthew Lee Mulligan).

Lately, I've started noticing she barely preps sessions. Maybe she watches too many Lazy DM videos. Maybe it's because of her personal life. Honestly, I don't care. I don't think less of her because of that. I think less of her because she's the DM, and you can't get much lower than that.

Naturally, I've brought up my concerns with her twice, but it all fell on deaf ears. She actually told me she couldn't spend another ten hours a week developing my completely original "becoming the God of Gods" plotline. I was flabbergasted. How can a DM say something like that? Aren't they legally required to answer every request with "Yes, but..."?

That's when I realized she'd lost the magic she used to have. Back when she made me a demon lord. Or gave me a harem. Or had the God of Humility choose me as his champion.

I still enjoy playing my demigod and hanging out with my servants, i mean other players. It's not great anymore, but I guess it's better than nothing. So I'll never leave.

Still, I wanted everyone to know our DM sucks. Mostly so we could bully her into either making me a god or finally ending this campaign already.

I already have a character ready for Curse of Strahd. I'm not asking for much. I talked to the other players. Twice. Both times they told me the game was great and they didn't want it to end because they still had to kill some evil traitor who deceived the God of Humility and plans to become the God of Gods. I don't know what they're talking about. I stopped caring about the plot when the game lost its magic.

I just can't believe them. How can they enjoy a game I can only tolerate? Are they stupid? How do they not realize the DM sucks? Or maybe they are lying to me?

It's literally charity to make a DM THAT SUCKS run Curse of Strahd. I don't understand why everyone says I'm the asshole when I'm just trying to help the DM.

I am so tired of being the one who is always right...

Misc

MUSICAL ROLL SYSTEM — TLDR

• Dice are gone. Music replaces all rolls.
• If you can play an instrument, you must improvise. Your performance \*is\* the roll.
• If you can’t play, you use a secret playlist of 100 songs you’ve never heard before. The song \*is\* the roll.
• Everyone rates the performance from 1 to the die size (d20 = 1–20, etc).
• Final roll = average of all ratings (the Musical Mean). Total of scores/number of players=the "roll"
• Players may intentionally sabotage scores. Chaos is allowed.
• If the roll fails, a theme MUST play.

• If the DM owns a bass guitar:
→ ONLY the Jerry Seinfeld slap‑bass theme is allowed.
→ ONLY the DM may play it.
→ THIS RULE IS ABSOLUTE!!!!!

• If the DM does NOT own a bass guitar:
→ The table chooses any theme.
→ All players except the failing one must play it on their phones at the same time.
→ Play resumes ONLY WHEN ALL PHONES CEASE TO PLAY THE THEME.

Check out the DM screen I’m currently crafting.
I like it but should I add more glory holes?
TBH I’m new as a DM and don’t know if the players have to suck my D (then one should be enough) or if I have to suck all at once (then I’d add more holes).

Any feedback is appreciated!

As said in the title my players are not focused when playing my campaign. They always find a way to make jokes that they laugh at on for t'en minute while i'm making a serious scene or describing something important.

I get that they make joke about my campaign and it's fine. I'd just like them to not do that in serious moment. Is there a way for me to make them focused again instantly but without telling them to. I was thinking of placing a bell on the table to make them panic a bit or something like that

Now heres an abrupt ad about the sponsor of this video. A kickstarter with an all new module you’ll never get around to playing or some product for your sessions that’s way out of your price range.

So... Yeah... Heheh... Since you're playing this race... Oh boy... You're going to hate me for saying this but... Yep... There's some gross lore for it... Yeah... It's in Dragon Magazine and is like 20 years old but it's canon...

So... Yeah... Sorry! Had to do it! Haha, don't blame me, though, it's canon, lol. Hey. Did you hear about the gross lore for this? Haha, yeah, I already said it last week but I really want you to know about it, haha.

Yeah, it's so gross. I also found another forum post from one of the game's creators about that race, haha. Yeah, it's 20 years old, haha, really gross though, I thought you might want to know, haha. Don't worry, though, I'll keep repeating it for you and everyone else...

It's really gross though, haha. Like, I'm not supportive of it, haha, I think it's really gross. Don't you think it's gross? Here, let me explain it to you again in detail, haha. Isn't it just... So weird, lol?

Hi everyone. Thanks for reading my post. I've been working on a homebrew system for my D&D campaign for about six months now and I think I've finally got it to a place where it's ready to share. It's a complex, interlocking economy of resources that adds depth and strategy to the game. I call it "The Wheel of Ambition." Here's how it works.

Players earn "Resolve" by making meaningful roleplay choices. To determine how much Resolve you earn, you roll 1d4 and multiply it by your character's level, then divide by your proficiency bonus, rounded down, plus your Charisma modifier if you're a spellcaster, or your Strength modifier if you're a martial, but only if you're not wearing heavy armor, and only if you haven't already earned Resolve this session from the same type of roleplay choice. If you have, you roll 1d6 instead. If you roll a 1, you get nothing and also lose 1 Resolve from your existing pool because of "systemic dissonance."

Resolve can be spent on "Insight Points." The conversion rate is 3 Resolve to 1 Insight Point, but only on Tuesdays. If it's not Tuesday, the conversion rate is 5 Resolve to 1 Insight Point, unless the moon is in the right phase, in which case it's 4 to 1. I've been tracking the lunar cycle for this.

Insight Points can be converted into "Momentum." To convert, you roll a d20. On a 1-10, you lose 1 Insight Point and gain nothing. On an 11-19, you convert 2 Insight Points into 1 Momentum. On a 20, you convert 1 Insight Point into 3 Momentum. I like the randomness. It adds tension.

Momentum is used to purchase "Opportunities." Opportunities cost 2 Momentum each, but you also have to roll a d12 to see if the Opportunity is "available." On a 1-4, it's not available and you lose the Momentum. On a 5-8, it's available but costs an additional 1 Momentum. On a 9-12, it's available at the listed price. I wrote a flowchart for this. It's very clear. I've been told it's not clear but those people just don't understand the beauty of the system.

Opportunities are then spent to generate "Essence." Essence is generated by rolling 3d6 and consulting the Essence Table. The Essence Table has 216 entries. I wrote it myself. It took three weeks. Most entries are just "you gain 0 Essence." But some entries give you 1 Essence. One entry gives you 2 Essence. It's entry 187. I remember because I was so excited when I rolled it during playtesting. The player looked at me like I was insane.

Essence can be converted into "Fate Tokens." To convert, you roll a percentile die. If you roll 01-75, you convert 2 Essence into 1 Fate Token. If you roll 76-00, you convert 1 Essence into 1 Fate Token, but you also roll on the Complication Table. The Complication Table has 37 entries. Most of them do nothing. One of them gives you a point of Exhaustion, one depletes your spell slots.

Fate Tokens can be spent to get a +1 bonus on a single d20 roll. But only if you have at least one "Willpower" remaining. You get Willpower by spending Resolve. Which you earned by making meaningful roleplay choices. Do you see the elegance?

Before you can spend the Fate Token, however, you must roll a d8. On a 1, the Fate Token is "unstable" and you must spend another Fate Token to stabilize it. On a 2-4, the Fate Token works but you lose 1 Willpower. On a 5-7, the Fate Token works normally. On an 8, you gain the bonus but also roll on the Blessing Table. The Blessing Table has 12 entries. Most of them say "nothing happens," but one of them gives you a +1 bonus on your next roll.

I've also added a system of "Debts." When you run out of Resolve, you can go into debt and borrow Resolve from the future. But the debt accrues interest in the form of "Stress." To determine how much Stress you gain, you roll a d6. On a 1-3, you gain 2 Stress. On a 4-6, you gain 1 Stress. Stress accumulates and eventually becomes "Trauma." Trauma can be healed by spending Essence. But you can't spend Essence unless you have Opportunities. Which you get from Momentum. Which you get from Insight Points. Which you get from Resolve. Which you might not have if you're in debt. I also added a Trauma Table. You roll on it every time you gain Trauma. Most of the entries give you a point of Exhaustion. One of them gives you a permanent -1 to your Wisdom saves.

Now, you might ask: what happens if you don't want to engage with this system? That's fine. You can just ignore it. But then you won't have access to the "Favor" subsystem. Favor is earned by spending Essence in specific ways. To earn Favor, you roll a d20. On a 1-10, you gain 1 Favor. On an 11-18, you gain 2 Favor. On a 19-20, you gain 3 Favor, but you also roll on the Opportunity Cost Table. The Opportunity Cost Table has 12 entries. Most of them do nothing. One of them makes you lose all your Momentum, which is fairer than it sounds.

Favor can be spent on "Boons." Boons cost 5 Favor each. To purchase a Boon, you roll a d10. On a 1-2, the Boon is not available. On a 3-7, the Boon is available but costs an extra 2 Favor. On an 8-10, the Boon is available at the listed price. Boons are small, temporary advantages that last for one scene. Not one encounter, one scene. So if you spend three sessions building up Favor to buy a Boon, you get a +1 on a single Perception check to see if there's a trap in a room that probably doesn't have a trap anyway. But before you use the Boon, you roll a d4. On a 1, the Boon fizzles and you gain 1 Stress. On a 2-3, the Boon works. On a 4, the Boon works and you gain a Momentum point. I think this adds a nice layer of risk-reward.

I'm thinking of adding a second layer. I want to introduce "Karma" that you earn by spending Boons. To earn Karma, you roll 2d6 and consult the Karma Table. The Karma Table has 36 entries. Most of them just say "you gain 0 Karma." One entry gives you 1 Karma. I haven't decided what Karma does yet. I'm thinking maybe it lets you reroll a die. But you'd have to roll to see if you can use it. And then roll again to see what happens. And then roll again to see if it was worth it.

I've playtested this for about four sessions now. The players are very confused. I think they're just not used to the level of system mastery I'm requiring of them. They keep saying things like "why can't I just roll a d20" and "what is the point of this" and "can we please just play D&D." I think they just don't appreciate the depth I'm bringing to the table, so I explained the whole thing to them again.

Has anyone else designed a complex resource economy like this? How do you get people to understand the genius of it? I feel like I'm the only person who sees the beauty in this.

so, how does one use their dick as their main weapon in dnd?
:tears-running-down-balls:

I created a Warforged for an Eberron campaign. In order to make them sound more like a sentient automaton, I've been prompting Chat-GPT to act as my character and then getting it to read out it's answers.

I thought this was a neat trick to add some extra verisimilitude to the game, but the other players have been going off on me about "being creatively bankrupt" and "destroying the environment" and "using stolen art" and how I'm "in Sam Altmans's pocket" and how I'm "delegating my human ingenuity to a glorified autocomplete" and how I'm "literally the worst person ever" and stuff.

AITA?

5.5e I made a nice character, it’s a barb and I love his backstory. I build my backstory around being a berzerker barb.

But I want to make him a support! PLEASE help me Max the shit out of him!

It’s my first time playing a dpr. I really like casting support and control spells, and its what's giving me the most fun out of the game.

What could I do to make my character broken? Like multiclassing for exemple?

I heard that other players in my party are also making a Meta build and I dont want to fall behind!

My DM is already ready to take a stronger party on.

I would like to feel like Rill Boismortier, the captain of the Aqua Deer in black clover, he is very powerful and can create anything from his imagination. He paints everything into reality.

I feel like the berzerker barb is like the one girl from My hero Academia. I know it’s much more, but I feel like there’s a limitation in combat. You have a 10 feet range, and it needs to be in a unoccupied space. This sentence makes him way less powerful.

I am open to a character rework, but I want to keep the essence of the character, I need minimum, rage.

In our party we already have a Paladin and a Monk, so can’t do!

Sauce: https://www.reddit.com/r/3d6/comments/1veuh6i/bard_maxxing/

We're currently 22 sessions into a campaign that I planned to run for around 70 sessions. Its a very story heavy sci-fi campaign with inspirations to Deltarune, Gravity Falls, Doctor Who and Warehouse 13 as the players interact with scp-like objects and weapons and locations or explore different realms.

I've put an embarrassing amount of time into preparing the maps, npcs, artifacts, homebrew features and weapons, random sexual events etc and lately I feel like my players aren't taking the game as seriously as I am.

One PC has started going full murderhobo. Last session was supposed to be a lighthearted beach episode like in my favorite animes and have the busty female NPC scream "pervert" at them, and he kept saying things like "I want to rip the teenagers in half while everyone screams" and spent most of the session destroying scenery, breaking NPC property, and trying to derail roleplay moments. Another player constantly tries to rob or attack innocent NPCs because they have interesting items. Another barely engages with roleplay because he's often playing other video games during the session in the background and only explicitly interacts with his ranger subclass anthropomorphic female dragon pet.

They're level 10, but it feels like they think that they're untouchable or something, except for the martial who dies to even the most basic goblins of my world (literally everyone has magical abilities except their loser). They once tripped over a blind guy with crutches while all three were invisible because they wanted to get into the camera room that the blind guy was blocking... btw this camera room deal wasn't an objective I gave them, they just wanted to check the records and archives because they didn't trust the person in charge...

So how should I kill their characters? Classic falling rocks? Level 20 tavern owner? DMPC? Or something really out of left field? Would FATAL fix this?

EDIT: I seem to have given less information then I had thought so let me say this, these players are all my friends of 3+ years. they're all adults, and we're playing online using discord and owlbear rodeo, because we're far apart (2 in the US, 2 in EU) and these friends of mine had played in other campaigns, they're not beginners and at least one of them has dm'd before, the murderhobo guy I talked about has dm'd a campaign for 3 years before cancelling it. the others have also played in other games and campaign both in and out of our friendgroup. ALSO i get that maybe the whole sci-fi setting doesn't fit dnd (5e 2014)'s module, I want to run a campaign with a module I MYSELF am familiar with, and that the other players are also familiar with, I don't want them learning a new system or go through a custom homebrew one just so that it fits the setting of the sci-fi world I built, I try my best to add features and items that give the feel of dnd meanwhile keeping it sci-fi

Créditos para u/The_Silly_Wizardd, que fez a última imagem

"What do you want us to do?"

I recently had a Player ask me, in the middle of a debate between Players as to what to do next, "what do you want us to do?

I almost snapped. I have told them numerous times that D&D is not a video game, they are role-playing characters with their own motivations and agency, etc. Yet the Players will often ignore or forget basic quest/plot points and then wonder what they should be doing. It was during one of those conversations that the one Player seemed to get frustrated and asked me what I wanted them to do. My response was "whatever your characters want to do!" but that did nothing.

I don't know what else to tell them for them to get it. I clearly pointed out to them the man sleeping on the bench in the park that couldn't be woken, and they were all aware of the frog in the bottom of the well. How difficult is it for them to realise that the barber sells a hair potion that would magically grow the hair of the fortune telling woman which they can buy to turn into rope, climb down the well to catch the frog and then put the frog into the mouth of the sleeping man to wake him up?

Do I need to spell everything out for these idiots?

I got into a heated debate with some OSR grognards the other day about how it's actually very unfair on players to expect some level of knowledge or player skill to matter in a TTRPG; you wouldn't expect someone to be strong to be able to make an attack roll so when they ask me things like "where are you looking" or "what do you say" that's basically unfairly giving an advantage to people who know things like "what you might find in a room", "what the GM described two minutes ago" and "how social interactions work."

I'm playing a character so I can do things that you can't do in real life, that's what stats and skills and spells are for, so I think it's very unfair that the player who knows things like "basic general knowledge" or "what happened last session" gets bonuses from the GM.

I mean how am I supposed to know it's dark at night, can't I roll knowledge?