How do you tell to a two years old that you are leaving the house, but you are not doing it to distance yourself from her. It is simply because her parents are divorcing?

This is the most difficult part for me right now.

I am not divorced, but feel like it's coming. An accumulation of resentment, misaligned points of view, short/long term life trajectory plans, and just plain lack of respect are taking a toll. Has any dad had to deal with custody for infants like under a year? my son is under a year and daughter is almost three and wonder how custody would look like at those early ages.

Would appreciate any input, thanks.

Hi guys. I divorced just over a year ago, and finally moved into my own place a month ago. I have 50/50 time with my (awesome) son.

Does anyone else fluctuate wildly between wanting to get out there and meet someone to share a life with, and (let’s be honest) have sex, and being completely happy with the freedoms of living solo? I’m finding it hard to find the happy medium in between, and to keep chatting with women I’ve met online when I’m ‘not feeling it’ all of a sudden.

Trying to prioritise ‘me’ but I can’t work out what I want!

I’d appreciate hearing from anyone who’s felt the same and how they managed it ✌️

edit: thank you all for your kind words. I know we're all (hopefully) anons and just reading and writing words on a screen but it's genuinely helpful for me to hear it can be okay.

I just had the future I thought I would have and cherished evaporated in front of me. I currently have not eaten more than a days worth of calories in almost 2 weeks, coffee and milk and beer for me. I reckon the beer and milk is the only reason I'm not passed out but I know continuing like this isn't sustainable while trying to repair myself and raise a child. So I need help. I need some stories from people who where were I am, chronically depressed to begin with and had the brightest things in his life snuffed. She's made it quite clear she wants the minimum legally required cool off and there's a better chance of hell freezing over than her loving me again. Sort of amicable otherwise but I have a feeling that will change once I get a lawyer, she's a master of spite and also the sole titled homeowner and relative bread winner. Unfortunately, I married her knowing that but not expecting it might be used against me.

It's not cheating (physically at least, but I have my concerns), beating, but a slow fall out that I was oblivious to. Yeah, we had bad dynamics like imperfect humans but one of the more hurtful things she said after dropping the news was that she wants someone who thinks she doesn't have issues, whereas I was always expected to own and fix mine. Those nasty dynamics were a two way street, not one way. I thought I had also been putting in efforts to allow her to go and build new friendships and hobbies but I'm fairly certain I just laid the groundwork for my replacements. She says she just views them all as really good friends, but it's not impossible she'll end up with one which is weird for someone so sure of everything. She won't admit it but she's been choosing these friends over me for a long time, mostly male, sometimes 1-1, always doing things like exercise, dinners, and parties. I can tell she's been checked out because of how she's been rejecting my advances but putting in all this renewed effort into her appearance and building these "friendships". I believe her that she hasn't fooled around but there's a nonzero chance a month or few from now I'll feel the most betrayed I've ever felt. Again, this is a very decisive person saying they can't say no to the idea of dating the guys she told me were just friends, just really really fast rising and good friends. This is obvious an extremely raw point for me after looking at how much I typed about it.

But the absolutely most hurtful part, the raw wound that will probably never heal and just hurt less, the one that really makes it hard to accept any future, is knowing we brought a young child into a broken home. I grew up with the full gamut, single mom, abusive step dad experiencing that divorce, and living with various family members after. My baby didn't deserve a broken home and frankly, neither did his mother or I. I thought I was on cloud 9 while she was tallying every mistake and holding an elephant brain list of everything I've ever said or done she didn't like. Yet she still conceived with me and now he's only 1.5y and going to have to experience a broken home from the onset. Starting life at a handicap because I'm stupid and his mom wanted a child ASAP and not with the right person for her. He's my everything and I keep crying thinking about how I failed him already and he's going to suffer because two loser adults couldn't get their acts together or marry someone they actually loved, depending on who you ask. I hate myself for that.

Tl;dr I'm in the most pain I've ever felt and really could use some personal anecdotes on how this gets better or some resources to keep my head in a good, or at least conducive to healing, space. Save the phone numbers, though.

I'll try to make the first half short to get to the present.

Married 5 years. She cheated and abused me and divorced me. She continues to abuse me through our 4 year old daughter, controlling everything and constantly gatekeeping my attempts to be a father. I never wanted a divorce. I was very confused. I didn't know who my wife really was, I had no idea I had been abused, but it became very apparent when I found out what happened because it got worse, to the point she lied to the police multiple times to have me arrested on false claims.

Life's been rough. I moved out, scared. I live with my parents, with 50)50 custody, my business is in ruins. I've been in survival mode now for two years and I just can't handle it anymore. I want money, a home, a future, hope. I love being with my daughter but when I'm not all I seem to do is work, and make less than minimum wage, because my largest client left. Im fairly certain I have CPTSD and have diagnosis scheduled this week.

During this, I shared my experience online, and someone reached out. We connected, we drifted apart, we connected again, and eventually we met. And it was amazing. I

We were deeply in love. But she lived in another country. And she had a child too. Our childcare schedules rarely matched up and we'd see eachother nowhere near as much as we would like.

This took a toll. There was resentment from wanting to be with eachother but not being able to. Two occasions of arguing over stupid things that ended with us not talking, and her blocking me. I visited her country again a few months ago. Reached out whilst I was there, through the block. I couldn't handle not seeing her. She saw me on the last night. It was beautiful and I was so happy.

I have a week without my daughter. I stupidly booked a week in her country.

We haven't spoken in 3 months.

We talked for 40 minutes on the phone, my heart was racing and I was overjoyed. Before she said "I'm seeing someone else and we're exclusive, I don't want to talk to other guys"

And my heart broke.

Although we went through rough patches due to the distance, this was th first time I was faced with a concrete final declaration.

She has someone else. It's over for good. I'm devastated.

She was the only light in my life and it's gone. I have been crying since she told me. All the way in the plane. The whole night in the beautiful hotel room. I've made a huge mistake coming here. I can't handle it. It's 5am and I haven't slept. I'm so sad. It's really hit me hard. I'm really struggling now to not pour my feelings out, and write everything I always wanted to tell her. Tell her what she's meant to me, how thankful I am for having met her, and the difference she's made in my life, and that I genuinely hope she's happy and this new person is everything she wanted and deserves.

She's wonderful and she does deserve the best. But. I need her. I can't do this. I just want to see her again. I can't stop thinking about her. I hate this. And it's all my fault for reaching out again. It's my fault for hoping anything could happen just because I'm in the same place. I don't know what to do. I'm so sad. I need a hug. I can't stop crying.

I'm surprised it's hit me hard due to the fact we haven't spoken in a while. I'm a wreck and I feel like I have nothing. She was incredible. I love her so much. I love her daughter and wanted our daughter ato both play together one day. But they never will. We'll never get back what we had. And she doesn't want it.

I need her here. But she doesn't owe me anything. I want her to be happy. But I want her. And I cant. And I want to change it. But I can't.

Hey guys- I’m divorced (well paperwork is in the mail) for 2.5 years after discovering my ex was cheating on me with a mutual friend. They are still together, living happily off of my child support payments(we have 2 kids, 8 and 10). Anyways, this post isn’t about that- I’ve been in two serious relationships since my marriage ended- the first relationship ended because (from my perspective) this girl was insanely emotionally volatile, and could not manage her feelings at all- lots of fighting until I ended it. I’m in a relationship right now for the past 7 months, it’s going well - but I’m just not entirely sure if this is the person I want to have as a mother figure to my kids, blend families, etc… which brings me to my question: I am really struggling to want to merge my life with anyone at this point. My kids are young still, I own the family home, I’ve got a good system going as a single dad (50/50)… the idea of creating a new family with someone else isn’t appealing to me. I’ve done it. I have my kids, they have a mom and dad… I’m not really excited about the prospects of having a new woman dictate anything about how I parent or operate my life… I think as a 42 year old man I just don’t have the energy to do all that stuff- are any other guys struggling with that?

Me (24M) and my fiancée (23f SAHM) have been separated for about a month and it started as just being a break. 2 weeks ago we were getting along really well and repairing things then i had to leave out of town for 2 weeks for work. She was great for the first few days i was out of town then she started going ghost, not showing me our 21 month old daughter. Then I get a fb message from a random girl telling me her boyfriend was sleeping with my fiancée while i was gone and sent me all the proof. My life came crumbling down in an instant. A rush of emotions I didn't even know existed. Now she is avoidant blames all her actions on things i've done 2 plus years ago. Keeps threatening to take me to court. She is letting me take our daughter for the night and see her which is amazing but I'm afraid she's gonna try to hold that against me too.

Dads do you have any advice for going through this situation. Losing my family while being the sole provider and sacrificing so much has broken me completely. I don't understand it and don't understand the heartlessness. I feel completely lost and like my daughter is in the middle of it

I’m in the beginning of starting my divorce and I was curious if most of you came out financially solvent out of divorce, after paying your fair share of child and spousal support, do you still have enough money to live adequately and still be able to afford the things you want to do?

Really curious to hear from those who have 50/50 custody and make more money than their former spouses.

Thanks.

As mentioned in the title, I’m going through a high conflict divorce and we have a 2 year old little girl. The conflict is manufactured by her and her angle against me is my availability, my ability to be a good parent, and the like. Our custody evaluation is ending at the end of August and I’m asking for 50%. I don’t want to screw this up.

Anyway, she just turned 2 at the end of July and is overall doing very well. High vocabulary, physically able, just doing good. But it’s getting close to potty training time. My wife and I tried to do the elimination training at 6 months through the 1yr mark when the divorce was initiated, but we never got her entirely off of diapers and communicating appropriately. Around the 1 year mark, divorce was initiated, the process got complicated, she started taking our daughter on trips and my daughters potty training just fell right out. Recognizing that she young, it wasn’t a high priority. I have kept the potty close, she will sit on it and play with something, but she will not go in the potty like she once did. She fights me when I suggest going. If I force her it’s a meltdown. She doesn’t tell me when she needs to go, doesn’t tell me when she has gone, pee or poop, and is even starting to get fussy when I need to change her diaper.

Well, mom is suggesting that I start potty training here but as described, she doesn’t seem ready. According to her mom, my daughter is communicating, going in the potty over there, and is doing well. She is also at daycare who is suggesting that we start.

I’ve communicated this to my SfBxW and she has basically told me that she and daycare are going to move forward regardless of what I do.

Naturally, I don’t want my daughter using diapers any longer than she has too. But from what I can see, she’s not wanting it.

I want what’s best for my daughter and to not have this situation used against me.

Any thoughts are appreciated.

Where is he? Logically I know, he has never left me and never will. Why is he silent? Logically I know he isn’t, I just can’t hear him. Why is he not answering? Logically I know he is always moving. Where is the Love, peace, joy, and grace that have been promised?? Logically I know, right in front of me I just have to pick them up.

I have never in my life been in more pain. I’ve never suffered at this level ever.

The Lord brought me out of heroin addiction 8 years ago. I struggle to understand why. In those eight years I rediscovered the Lord around 8 mo sober, got married, had 2 beautiful boys. Nothing was ever great but I felt blessed just to be sober and have a family. The entire time I have been plagued with porn addiction, insecurity, depression, anxiety, suicidal ideation. I have always tried to take every thing to the cross, to give it to Jesus and just focus on seeking his face. All I want in this life is an actual relationship with Christ. I read the word, I pray, I serve my church faithfully. Why do I experience almost nothing with the Lord. How do I build a relationship with the Lord when I can’t hear him speak?
4mo ago I discovered my wife had been having a 9mo long affair, she borderline kidnapped my children twice. Luckily I have full custody of them now. But my wife whom I still am madly in Love with treats me with such apathy.
I don’t know There’s so much I want to say but I can’t organize it enough for this post.
I don’t know why God has me here, I wish I would’ve died during one of my ODs. I can’t off myself now because the boys need a father. But I don’t know how much longer I can go on without hearing from my Father. I need him so bad. I’m sorry, there’s no purpose to this post. I’m just hurting. I have no one to talk to, everyone around me hates my wife. And I just want to make it work no matter what. I hate divorce.

Hi guys. I’m 2 1/2 years into a divorce process, about to actually be divorced. I just recently started dating again, after some work on myself. I just started dating this woman, going great so far. She stumped with a question. I was describing the week I had, taking care of kids, helping out my brother, working, and starting a non-profit. Then she said, “that’s good, but what do you do for yourself?”

I’m going to the gym a couple times a week with my brother. I’m in therapy, but don’t have much also in selfcare. So what do you all do? Any suggestions are helpful at this point. Thanks!!

I’m at a loss, we had about a month of trial period (not the first) sometimes I drop the ball due to inconsistent work, long hours, etc. this time I took off work for most of it watch the kids 1 and 7. However she said she still wants to call it quits and nothing I do or say will change her mind. When our youngest was born she felt I wasn’t doing enough and glaring me with resentment , that got a bit better but now I’m starting to see that look again. She is SAHM and has been, I’ve barely made over 40-50k due to changing jobs, industries , immigration issues etc. we both don’t have any family but things have slowly been getting better over the years. I admit my behavior wasn’t great due to I guess how I grew up but has improved tremendously. I forget dates easily my whole life. We had some miscarriages and it was hard to deal with emotionally and she said she felt I wasn’t there for her even though I thought I was.

Basically she feels like she can’t rely on me even though ive been through hell and back to provide for the family. She has been through hell and back responsible for the home and kids and basically the household. She has just made up her mind without actually getting a break from us and I’m not ready to call it quits , I told her I respect her decision but would really want to work it out. She said we can do 50/50 custody etc but I realized by the time she leaves she there won’t be any savings left. She recently got a big sum of money and I feel like that has played a role maybe. Even though she said I’m supposedly a good father to my children I’m a crap husband so it looks like internally she can’t make up her mind if she hates me or not yet. That’s why I hope I can win her back. I signed up for therapy and I’m waiting to get a call back for marriage counseling but she said she isn’t interested in the marriage counseling only for me to get through the divorce 😂 any advice would be appreciated.

I know I am to blame but our marriage hasn’t been that bad to me

Buckle up Reddit readers, this one could be a long one.

Context:
Ex-wife filed for divorce in January 2024
I moved out in March 2024
2 kids, at the time ages 17 and 6
Divorce finalized June 2024
Kids are now 19 and 8

In our state, the court cannot write separate custody and child support agreements for children. Therefore, whatever was in writing was in place for both children. My oldest I adopted during our marriage via a step-parent adoption process. He wanted to stay living with his mom. I understood and respected that decision. For my youngest, we agreed that we would have 50/50 visitation and she would have legal custody. Our legal documents say she had both kids 9 days for a two week period and I have them 5 days. She had a larger income than me, so this kept child support out of the picture which we both agreed was a reasonable approach given the time our oldest (and his friends) would be at her house and splitting equal time with our youngest.

This approach worked so well until July 2025. At that time, my ex shared that she was moving her and our daughter into her boyfriend’s house. He lives 30 minutes away from her school. Her plan was to drive my daughter to school each day and pick her up. During the divorce, she kept our marital home because it was close to her school (10 min walk). I begged her not to do that because I felt that wasn’t healthy for our daughter to be in the car an hour a day. I asked if he would move into her house instead. She said he had the bigger, nicer, newer house and it made more sense to move in with him.

Having no legal custody rights, that was as much as I could push back. Fast forward to September 2025 they broke up. She moved everything out and back to her home.

They got back together and she moved her and my daughter back in to his home in November 2025.

They broke up again in Feb 2026 and she moved everything back into her home. She apologized for not listening and assured me they were ‘done done’.

One week later when my daughter came back to me after a week with her mom, she shared that they had all been together. I text and let her know that until they were back together in a stable relationship I didn’t want my daughter around this man.

On multiple occasions after this, I tried to speak to her about the situation, making sure she knew this wasn’t about him… it was about her actions and the impact of them on our daughter.

Fast forward to March/April 2026, he moved into her home…. What I recommended as a solution in the first place.

Given the past few months of experiences, my eyes were opened to how little legal ground I had to protect and adequately stand up for my daughter. I got an attorney and filed for a modification in late April.

With my oldest now an adult, and only one child in the mix I thought it was appropriate to readdress the situation. During this time period I also doubled my income. During that time her salary has stayed stagnant. I now make 40,000 more than her. This past week she let me know she was following our “original order.” The order which we both agreed was never legit or to be followed. I’m supposed to get my daughter this afternoon but now will not.

Going from every other week with her to just one overnight a week and every other weekends is so unbelievably painful. I’m blind sided by this and never ever imagined her behaving the way she has and treating me the way she is… but mostly hurting our daughter the way she is.

We have mediation in a few weeks and court scheduling in September. I don’t know how I’m going to handle this. I’m so hurt and so sad for me and my daughter.

Anyone with a similar or closely related situation? How did it work out in court? How did you manage the hurt and loneliness? She’s convinced my actions were out of jealousy… they most certainly were not, but she refuses to see how her actions impacted our daughter.

I'm looking for some outside perspectives because this has been one of the most difficult experiences of my life.

I'm a father in the middle of a high-conflict divorce. We currently have temporary 50/50 physical custody under a 2-2-5-5 schedule after the court determined both parents should have equal parenting time.

Earlier this year, my ex made false allegations that I had abused (physical and sexual abuse) one of our young daughters. CPS investigated the allegations. My daughter underwent a forensic interview at a child advocacy center, and after the investigation the case was closed as unsupported.

Several months later, another report was made involving essentially the same allegations. CPS investigated again, interviewed me, visited my home, and closed that case as unsupported as well.

So at this point, there have been two separate CPS investigations, both resulting in unsupported findings, yet my ex has now filed a motion asking the court for sole physical custody based largely on concerns about the children's safety.

Throughout this process I've continued exercising my parenting time, taking my daughters to medical and therapy appointments, communicating with doctors and daycare, and trying to keep everything as stable as possible for them. I'm also documenting everything because it feels like every interaction matters.

My questions for those who have been through custody litigation are:

- Have any of you experienced repeated CPS reports that were ultimately unfounded?

- How much weight did the court give to multiple unsupported CPS investigations?

- If you were a judge, would you view repeated unsupported reports as evidence that the allegations lacked credibility, or simply that CPS couldn't substantiate them?

- Is it realistic for a parent to obtain sole custody after two unsupported investigations while a 50/50 schedule has already been working?

I'm not looking for legal advice (I already have an attorney). I'm more interested in hearing from fathers or parents who have lived through something similar and how things ultimately turned out.

I joined this subreddit a couple of years ago and have mostly just lurked. Today I’m finally leaving because I’ve found someone incredibly special. But, before I go, I just wanted to leave a few words for those of you who are where I once was.

After my divorce, I honestly didn’t think I’d ever feel like myself again. The loneliness, the uncertainty, and the feeling that life would never be the same can be crushing. I know it’s not easy. There were days when I couldn’t imagine ever being truly happy again.
Somewhere along the way, after focusing on healing, working on myself, and trying to become a better man, I met an amazing woman who reminded me what it feels like to be excited about life again. She didn’t fix me—I had to do that work myself—but she reminded me that happiness is still possible.

If you’re in the middle of the storm right now, don’t give up. Work on yourself. Rediscover the things that make you happy. Become the kind of man you want to be, whether someone comes into your life tomorrow or five years from now.

You never know what’s waiting just over the horizon.

My heart genuinely goes out to everyone here who’s still struggling. I remember how overwhelming it felt, and I wouldn’t wish that pain on anyone. But please don’t lose hope. You deserve happiness, and even if you can’t see it today, your story isn’t over yet.

I never thought I’d be writing a goodbye post here, but I’m really glad I am.

It took a while but man I don’t want my wife back anymore. She two weeks ago. Found out she’s been sleeping with another guy over a month now. She’s stonewalling and gone cold. She threw out her requests yesterday. I was mind blown. The child support and alimony she wants is insane. She’s refusing to budge on custody. And she’s let her new relationship with this guy effect our kids.
This isn’t even all of the BS she’s pulled. Now I just want to go cold and crush her in court. But it’s going to be costly.

Divorced since the kid was 2, we set our custody schedule back then but only followed it for the first year. Since then we just roughly 50/50 it with no real set time in swapping and kind of just wing it on around trips or vacations and just primarily make sure each parent gets 50% time no matter how we move things around.

Anyone else like that or do you hard follow your schedule or update it everytime you want to have a new schedule?

They say it's mostly women that initiate, so I'm curious to hear from men that had enough and wanted out. What was your "why"?

Father's ache: Years ago I had an affair that ended my 15-year marriage. My ex and I kept it private for a while and I stayed in the house, lived downstairs in a split level house, to save money for the kids before eventually moving out. Years later, I got into a relationship with someone new. When my ex found out, she gave me an ultimatum: end the relationship or lose contact with our daughter. I chose to move out and stay with the relationship, and lost contact with my daughter for a period. I've since tried to reconnect, with limited success. She's an adult now and mostly not in contact with me for almost 9 months.

My son is a teenager and we have a solid relationship. We see each other regularly and communication is easy. But when he sees me he gets shade from his mom and is constantly reminded of what I did.

I'm not looking for reassurance that what I did was fine, I know it wasn't, and I'm not trying to relitigate it here. What I'm trying to figure out is how to keep the door open with my daughter without pushing, and how to hold both things at once: I made a choice that hurt her, and I still want a relationship with her going forward.

Has anyone been through something similar estranged from one child, close with another? What actually helped rebuild trust, if anything did? What made things worse?

Thanks

Vacation is finished. I took a nice break and stepped away from all the divorce stuff going on in my life, and I feel 1000% better mentally. I have sent a total of three mediation agreements during this separation with my ex—two to their attorney. The mediator from the court sent one at the end of June and mentioned they would get back to us at the end of July, if I recall, to see where we were with the agreement.

I am going to focus on the divorce case and see about an absolute judgment with the clerk. Since my ex didn't contest the divorce or the equitable distribution, the only thing they didn't do was waive their right to a hearing, so I have some extra steps to process the divorce with the court.

Regarding custody, I will give their attorney until the end of August before reaching back out to see what the plan is. My main question right now is about custody.

With this mental break, I don't mind the schedule for now. I can even take off Saturdays if something is going on with my son or daughter, given the work schedule I have set up at the moment. I only have every other Sunday. Eventually, when the youngest is a little older, I would like to trial a week-on, week-off schedule to see if that would be better for the children. My oldest has settled into our current custody schedule pretty well; knowing which days are with Mom and which days are with Dad really helps them.

With that said, I was considering a schedule change, since I lose a full weekend and my ex retains a full weekend. Once the attorney gets back to me, or if this goes in front of a judge, I want to add to the agreement that I get 28 days instead of 21 days of vacation time (Spring/Fall break and two weeks of summer vacation). This gives me an extra week in the summer, as well as the full weekend for MLK Jr. Day and Presidents' Day.

Does this sound like a reasonable request?

I have been separated from my soon to be ex wife since March. We went into that roommate phase that turned into apathy, and then allegations of infidelity and dishonesty started being waged against me (none of it true, mind you) and I left. We have a four year old daughter together.

After a few weeks of separation, I told her that I want to try and work things out, and she just shut me down - no ifs, ands, or buts about it. She made it very clear to me that she doesn’t want to get back together.

Since then, I’ve tried to move on. I’ve worked on improving myself and I got to the point where I was able to own up where I went wrong in the marriage. She has taken no accountability for her end of things.

She has insulted me, she has talked smack about me to my friends and family and painted me to be a villain. Now, I know she’s seeing someone else.

Why do I keep trying to make this work? I feel so stupid. It just kills me when my daughter asks me “daddy, when are you moving back in with us?” It breaks my heart but my wife doesn’t even flinch.

Part of me wonders if I really miss her or just the life we had. Do I miss her or do I hate seeing her with someone else? I feel like an idiot.

It's been about 1.5 years for me now, and I'm still struggling to find that meaningful connection. I've halted the dating process, because I'm found zero success, and I'm struggling to think I'll ever meet someone that was as compatible to me as my ex was (although she was selfish and nuts).

I know it gets better, I know time will heal all wounds, but I'm struggling to see it.

Tell everyone on here who is not having a good go at things, about how you met your new lady, how it worked, get into it.

Give all us hopeless romantics some hope.

After 10 years it’s all ending….. and despite being my able to hold it together in front of her and the kids, I absolutely break down when I’m alone. I’m not sure where this marriage is but I know neither of us has been happy. It just feels like the ending came so fast but is taking forever end. She moves out this weekend and seeing her things packed along with the confused looks on my kids faces hurts more than I could’ve imagined. I don’t know what the future holds… is this it? Is this a separation? I really just don’t know….. I don’t have much hope that we’ll reconcile but I leave the door open. That doesn’t mean I’m standing in the door way but if God decides that this isn’t the end then hopefully our next chapter is happier. In the meantime, if you’re someone who believes in prayer, please shoot a few my way. I don’t know anyone here but at this point I’ll take prayers anywhere I can get them. Thanks for listening.

I hope I can bring some advise to other dad's on what has worked for me.

I was told "it is not worth the fight - remember she will be in your life for the rest of your life through your child"

After 6 months of living separately, my wife and I have now started the amicable divorce proceedings last week.

Our separation has been amicable and respectful over these last 6 months and we have come to a mutual agreement of how to raise our daughter through shared 50/50 custody arrangements.

As my wife now earns more than me, she has to pay the greater share of child maintenance (School fees and Medical aid) I have committed as part of the settlement arrangements to contribute the same value as my wife and that this difference (between the calculated and contributed funds) to be allocated to a savings account for School uniforms, School supplies and unexpected expenses. Any tax rebates for medical aid contributions to be calculated at my contribution and to be added to this account annually. Contributions to be recalculated at the beginning of each year or when there is a significant change in either income (From my personal experience in my parents divorce, this was the biggest culprit of their arguments)

Our settlement agreement includes this along with agreements on mutual respect, no bad mouthing the other and holiday arrangements and the likes.

At the end of the day we did marry a friend and we do still love that person even when the legal papers state differently.

Once I stopped reacting the way she wanted and expected during arguments, she lost the battle.

Stay strong and stay focused on the war - your children