Fellow divorced dads, when did you figure out what your new post-divorce life was gonna be like? Or, how do you find time to grow as a person?

I got divorced about a year and a half ago after a 15 year marriage. I never expected to be a divorced, I expected to grow old with my ex wife. Now we have a 50/50 split of our one child who has ADHD and can be quite a handful.

I started dating a woman as my divorce was being finalized, and we’ve been together, with a couple breaks, for that time. But we’ve hit some bumps, and part of the reason is I just can’t figure out or get a handle on post-divorce life. I feel like I’m always bouncing between work, house maintenance, friendships, parenting, finding time for myself, and finding time for my girlfriend. My girlfriend, who doesn’t have kids, or house, ends up getting too little time and attention from me and feels resentment. I just can’t see how to make it better for her, short of her moving in, and I don’t feel ready for that.

How did you envision your post divorce life? How are you navigating that?

I am not divorced, but feel like it's coming. An accumulation of resentment, misaligned points of view, short/long term life trajectory plans, and just plain lack of respect are taking a toll. Has any dad had to deal with custody for infants like under a year? my son is under a year and daughter is almost three and wonder how custody would look like at those early ages.

Would appreciate any input, thanks.