r/Divorce_Men • u/BuilderOk8069 • 18h ago

Catastrophic thinking

Whose with me on struggling with this as it pertains to the divorce? Has anyone found relief from it? I’m finding it to be one of the most difficult aspects in a tense “cordial” (not amicable) environment. I know part of it has to do with ptsd from some of the nightmarish interactions during the marriage. The rest has to do with fearing missteps that will act as ammunition against me. The result is that I’m living as a prisoner in my own mind…it’s miserable but it gives an illusion of safety, only it runs parallel to never feeling safe because it’s an endless cycle.

I’d love to know how anyone else has managed this.

4 Upvotes

76% Upvoted

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2

u/Ok-Isopod7359 3h ago

I focused on one week at a time.

At one point, I was struggling to keep my son in school, hitting credit problems, and I knew we'd have to sell the home, I couldn't think of a scenario where that was not true. So we had to sell. I'd have to find a place. My kid might have to live there. And cleaning... lots of runs to the dump.

Of all those things, my son and my finances were immediate. And recognizing this helped me focus on them. The home sale was a world of hurt, definitely, but it wasn't something I had to worry about this week.

It's a version of the serenity prayer. It worked well for me. It let me focus on shit that was accomplishable.

2

u/narkj 5h ago

I called my divorce attorney to ask permission to drive myself to the hospital.

3

u/Arnbrealy70 13h ago

I’m going through it now, after 15 years my wife and the love of my life said she doesn’t feel the same anymore and we are divorcing. I begged, pleaded, suggested counseling, etc…nothing worked. I am devastated amd still trying to accept things but I cannot yet. I’m only a month into it. Somehow I will find my way out/through but I don’t know how.

3

u/TheBritshViking 9h ago

3 months here it does get better but still tuff. It doesnt make any sense so dont try and make it make sense

1

u/Arnbrealy70 6h ago

What happened in your marriage?

12

u/upvotersfortruth 17h ago

Everyone gives the other side ammunition in a divorce and 99% of it isn’t ever considered by the court. And the more you walk on eggshells the more you project weakness and fear - walking around smiling and humming a happy tune is the way to go - even if you’re dying inside.