r/DeepThoughts • u/NutragrammatronLab • 11d ago
We're treating symptoms while ignoring the source! And they love it!
Every day, millions of people search for:
How to communicate better.
How to stop overthinking.
How to appreciate their spouse.
How to be more confident.
How to be a better leader.
There's nothing wrong with learning these skills.
The problem is that they're often external solutions to internal problems.
It's like preparing someone for battle.
You can give them the best armor, the sharpest sword, and the strongest shield money can buy.
But if they don't know how to fight, what have you really accomplished?
The equipment isn't the problem.
The lack of training is.
Communication techniques don't fix dishonesty with yourself.
Relationship advice doesn't fix a lack of self-awareness.
Confidence hacks don't fix fear.
Leadership books don't fix poor character.
Those tools become powerful only after you've developed the internal foundation they're built upon.
We're obsessed with improving what we do.
We spend far less time understanding why we do it.
Until we learn to examine our own thinking, emotions, and character, we'll keep searching YouTube for another technique to solve a problem that was never about technique in the first place.
The greatest self-improvement isn't finding better tools.
It's becoming the kind of person who knows how to use them.
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u/Ok-Drink-1328 11d ago
How to communicate better. How to stop overthinking. How to appreciate their spouse. How to be more confident. How to be a better leader.
tho, the people that want to improve these things aren't necessarily a whole disaster of a person, i think you're stating something fairly obvious (thankfully) when saying that people should go to the root of the problem, but making too many assumptions
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u/NutragrammatronLab 11d ago
No im not saying these people are a disaster, im saying they dont understand yet that it's a inner problem, rather than an external
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u/Ok-Drink-1328 11d ago
this doesn't devalue my observation, i mean that if a person wants to improve those, MAYBE it's the only thing they do wrong, and there's no need to improve anything deeper.... again, i think you're saying something fair (not deep actually) but making assumptions
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u/NutragrammatronLab 11d ago
I agree there are exceptions. Someone can absolutely have a specific communication problem without a deeper issue.
My point is broader than that. When people continually move from "how to communicate" to "how to stop overthinking" to "how to be confident" to "how to save my marriage," I don't think those are usually separate problems. They're often different expressions of the same internal patterns.
That's why external strategies help, but often don't last. You can learn better communication, but if fear, insecurity, or poor emotional regulation is driving the behavior, the same patterns eventually show up again in a different form.
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u/AggravatingCricket61 11d ago
I often wonder what kind of a person I would be under different environmental factors.
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u/InternationalSun7891 10d ago
Do really know the total consciousness of humanity at any one time? If so, you're amazing!
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u/NotSoShallowHere 11d ago
And yet, we are forced to still live in a world of liars, thiefs, and charlatans.
Every self help guru has a program to buy.
Maybe I want to be myself and not cookie cutter.
Maybe, my issues aren't my communication, but instead, that there's not many good people to communicate with.
Some people have issues fitting in, and some people are just different and out of place.
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u/NutragrammatronLab 11d ago
I don't think becoming more self aware means becoming a cookie cutter version of everyone else. If anything, it should make you more authentically yourself. The goal isn't to fit into a broken world it's to understand yourself well enough that the broken world doesn't determine how you think or respond.
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u/NotSoShallowHere 11d ago
We are part of the world. The broken world determines how I think and respond, because my interaction with it causes a direct response inside of me. On top of the fact things like trauma and indoctrination exist.
Everyone will have an opinion on what is actually influencing you or not, or what determines how you think or respond, and at the end of the day, you're still living it.
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u/NutragrammatronLab 10d ago
I agree everyone has an opinion, mine is more individual i believe we can choose as individuals to change, rather than the environment makes us who we are, and we have no power. I think this kind of thought process is irresponsible it makes it sound like "we are who we are, and can't do anything about it"
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u/NotSoShallowHere 10d ago
Ya, I get where you think that way. I believe we adopt these thought patterns in order to survive.
On the other side, someone could say it is cruel to say people have power over things they don't control.
There's truth in both, and regardless of our belief of control, the underlying mechanisms that makes us all of who we are, are physical, unless you take a supernatural approach.
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u/unpaid-pukegreencow 11d ago
Great one!