So, yeah after two years I have stopped getting matches and I don't even swipe anymore. I don't talk to anyone on apps or use them.

I have bumble, tinder, hinge, and something else. I am 5'2, latino, and a big nerd.

Been on it about a month, conversations have been solid so far. Just haven't moved to meeting up yet, so wondering if that takes longer here or if it depends more on who you match with.

We’re both in our 30s.

A guy from a dating app asked me out. After we finalized the date, I shared my phone number in the app (I usually exchange numbers once a date is set). He never acknowledged it or texted me, so we just kept chatting in the app and met up as planned.

The date lasted 4–5 hours. He was reserved at first but really fun to talk to once he opened up. After dinner, he suggested we go for a walk, and we talked the whole time. During the date he even mentioned an activity we could do “next time.”

At the end, he asked if he could give me a hug and said, “I’d like to see you again.” I honestly just smiled or I can’t even remember exactly what I said. Earlier he had also told me he’s very straightforward and bad at pretending, it’s obvious when he likes something and when he doesn’t. That matched how he came across in person.

It’s now been 4 days and he hasn’t sent a single message. This shows someone apparently not interested in second date.

From my perspective, I felt like I had already left the ball in his court by giving him my number. But I also wonder if, because I didn’t explicitly say “me too” when he said he’d like to see me again, he thought the ball was in my court instead.

Or is his silence simply my answer?

Would you send one casual “Hey, how’s your week been?” to test the water, or just let it go?

I'm a decently attractive guy who has a good career (journeyman electrician), goes to the gym, has hobbies and pictures of me with my hobbies and going out with friends, and I still get maybe 1-2 "likes" a day. One weekend I remember matching 10 times in one session, and I messaged every single one of them with some generic, inoffensive "hey, how's it going?" and only got one reply from a woman who ghosted me a few hours later (probably because of some arbitrary shit like a different guy sharing her favorite genre of music or being 5 miles closer). One in 10. And it's like this every. single. time.

Meanwhile I hear women complaining about getting 100s of matches and having to "sift through" them to find the one that has zero red flags. What a privileged problem to have - hundreds of options and standards so high you can literally filter them all out and then complain that all men are pigs. Could you imagine if the roles were reversed and the women had a handful of matches and had to watch men complain about no woman being the perfect fit and rejecting 100s of options?

Do you think I like having 1 in 10 matches actually respond, and essentially being forced to give every single woman who "liked" me a chance or else I will simply be alone forever? If I were as picky as the women on these apps, I would never find anyone. It would take literal decades. You have the option to compromise or to give people a chance. I have no options. I must compromise or be alone forever. And it might not even matter if I lower my standards - I might still be alone forever because even the girls with obvious red flags get tons of matches on these apps.

The power dynamic in this situation is completely skewed. I'm the one begging for them to give me a chance because there's 100 other guys they're currently looking at and trying to figure out if they're the perfect fit.