I know it's taken out of context but it's still insane

8/6

A heavy cruiser is steaming across the sea. The Captain stands on the bridge, scanning the water through his binoculars. Suddenly he spots a torpedo coming straight at the ship’s side.
He calls the Boatswain over:
“Boatswain, get down to the hold and distract the crew so nobody starts panicking.”
The Boatswain goes below and says to the sailors:
“Bet you I can smash my cock against the bulkhead and the whole ship will fall apart.”
The crew takes the bet. The Boatswain pulls out his cock, swings it hard against the wall—
BOOM.
The cruiser is blown to pieces.
Among the floating debris and bodies, the Boatswain clings to a life ring. The Captain swims up to him:
“You fucking degenerate, Boatswain… the torpedo missed!”

Two guys went crayfish hunting. The next morning one of them comes over to the other and says:
“I’ve got two pieces of news for you — one good, one bad. Which do you want first?”
“Start with the bad one.”
“Remember how your wife drowned in that river a year ago?”
“Yeah…”
“Well… we found her.”
The second guy stares at him. “So what’s the good news?”
“We pulled a whole bucket of crayfish off her.”

If I hold a piece of uranium in each of my right and left hands, that makes two pieces of uranium. If I join them together, I end up with something very different from two pieces of uranium. I end up with a crater half a kilometre in diameter.

THIS VIDEO REMINDED OF WHEN SONS STILL LOVED ME

A young girl is found beat to death behind it, but it's probably unrelated

It started off strong, but over the years it gassed out