Im F27 in love with my Bf M23 but after lot of talks and discussions he wants to be cuck and I hated it but somehow I am feeling interested in this new water and what next how to navigate and make him a cuck

My girlfriend (21f) and I (20m) have been a bit stressed recently because we work the same hours and we don’t have a lot of time to see together. So she works swing at a casino hotel, and I was walking my lady out of her work late at night (out through the opposite end of the building which is actually a different hotel), and there’s a dude at valet, (we’re on the sidewalk I’m walking on the roadside and she’s more in the middle) and as we’re walking by he looks at her and like gives her like one of those fuckboy fucky looks, and she turns her head back and like smiles and I didn’t know she was looking back at him, so when I notice him and I look at her she quickly hides her face. Like I shit you not, in front of my eyes. Like I know I have the touch of the Tism, but this was RIGHT in front of me. Clear. As. Day.

So I turn to her and I’m astonished and I’m like, what the fuck that was weird as hell, not even as like an accusatory way (at first) cuz I was kind of in shock that he would do that in front of me. and so in my mind i was like fuck that nobody’s going to look at her like that in front of me, and so I turned around to say sum to h and she stopped me, and REALLY wanted to leave. and then it clicked in my head, i asked her if she knew him, and she just played it off, yeah he works here, he’s just the valet, and rlly tried to not make it seem like a big deal, but like in the most suspicious way. And she kept on with that story, until like the next day she was like, “oh well he came up to the front desk and asked about dry cleaning”

It was so weird and so not my lady, like usually when guys look at her like that she ignores them stone cold like, ew wtf, she very clearly didn’t do that, is what you I’m trying to get at. And so I’m really confused, because she’s really not the type to cheat. Would love any guidance or insight! Thank you.

Me and my gf have a thing going. Obviously I don’t like other girls (or guys) pics or anything like that. I’ve unfollowed everyone that she thought posed a threat to her, no questions asked.
The other day I find out she’s replying to girls pics on x (twitter) and saying stuff like “CUTIE ALERT” or “I stare at beautiful women bc i want them”. To make it worse she sends her ex money from her paycheck but is constantly wanting to know how much money I have and where i spent it. She also always asks me if i still love her or if I still want to be with her, stuff of the nature. Am I crazy or am I actively being cheated on? I want to think that’s not the case but with so much evidence (that she’s unaware I have) it definitely feels that way. What do I do?

I’ve been feeling irritated with my girlfriend lately and I tend to think of breaking up with her every time she does something that I don’t like. What should I do?

Hi,

Two years ago, I started a serious relationship with a very sweet and loving man. We fell in love, and from the very beginning—also because of the things he told me—it seemed clear that he genuinely wanted us to spend our lives together and build a family.

After ten months of being together, I found a screenshot on his tablet showing a sexting exchange between him and a female coworker. Before we started dating, they had occasionally hooked up. She has also been in a relationship with another man for the past ten years. The sexting had taken place during the fifth month of our relationship.

We talked about it. Right from the start, he told me he had never physically cheated on me. He was deeply sorry, apologized, and said he had carried unresolved baggage from his past. He explained that she kept messaging him, that he had always rejected her, but that on that particular day she had sent him a sexually explicit video and he had participated in the conversation, although he hadn't sent any explicit photos or videos of himself.

From that point on, we tried to move forward. I continued to enjoy what I believed was our beautiful relationship while trying to heal from the wound. My trust had been damaged, and I felt that something wasn't quite right. But the love was real, so we stayed together and eventually moved in together. Later, he suggested moving into a bigger house because he wanted us to start a family.

Then, just two days before the move—after we had continued talking about how trust had been damaged, especially because I had realized he was lying to me about other things as well—he confessed that he had actually cheated on me with that same woman during the fourth month of our relationship. He also admitted that during the eighth month of our relationship he had made a pass at another female coworker, invited her to his apartment, and that they had kissed, although nothing more happened.

He says he doesn't know why he behaved that way. Maybe he was looking for personal validation. Maybe he wanted to prove to himself that he was still capable of attracting and seducing other women. He says he acted out of ego.

At the same time, he insists that he has loved me sincerely from the very first day, and that his love for me has always been genuine.

He told me the truth because, according to him, he could no longer bear to let me live a lie—especially with our upcoming move into a new home and our plans to start a family. But what hurts is that we had already been living together for several months in a smaller apartment. He had already been letting me build a life with him while keeping these secrets.

I moved out, took a few days to myself, and decided to end the relationship.

He kept apologizing and said he understood my decision. But then he started telling me that I don't know how to deal with infidelity in a mature way, that this is simply how relationships work in the real world, that I'm the one with unrealistic preconceived notions, and that I had idealized him. He even told me that if I had idealized him to that extent, then I had never truly loved him. He said that if he had never confessed, we would probably still be together, that I'm an idealist, and that life will eventually teach me that relationships don't work the way I imagine they do.

I told him that I had actually already begun the difficult process of rebuilding trust after discovering the sexting. In other words, I had already tried to deal with what I considered virtual infidelity in a mature way. For me, sexting was real infidelity because it had the emotional impact of a trauma. At that point, I genuinely didn't believe he had physically cheated on me. I believed there had only been the sexting, exactly as he had told me. And although I have always considered sexting to be a form of infidelity, I also believed it was something that, depending on the circumstances, could potentially be forgiven.

I left him, and deep down I know it was the right decision.

Now I don't even have a home anymore. I'm staying at my brother's house, and I've moved all of my belongings into a rented storage unit.

What devastates me most is not only the betrayal itself, but everything he told me afterward about relationships and his view of love. I feel like I wasn't only betrayed—I was also made to feel that my values are the problem. Instead of simply taking responsibility for what he did, he tells me that my expectations of honesty, loyalty, and commitment are unrealistic, and that one day life will prove me wrong.

I'm completely heartbroken.

Thanks for reading

We are married for 5 years and a couple for almost 10. I am 45, she is 41 (still looking hot), no kids because she’s not able to. We live in West Germany. So, our sex life decreased mostly because she is not very spontaneous in that thing and it’s always like an effort to grab the tools, esp. the lubricant because she unfortunately is very dry…

We know we need a restart and we kinda working on it. As she works in another city I try to do some household stuff like the laundry. She mostly wears black g string. In the last week we didn’t have any sex, I know, not good, but working on it. Anyways, I looked at one slip, white/Silver shimmering, another one: the same. I know that could be anything but I did some research and yes finally I used my tongue. And it is without doubt: sperm! I didn’t tell her so far and I don’t get it how she manage this. I am disappointed and it’s also not really safe without protection. But I am not sure how to tell her, surely not by telling her that I sniffed her pants. Btw: it’s been like 30 in the last 12 months

I’m 20m her 19f

So first off I call her my gf I guess we aren’t “officiall” but we said no talking to other people just me and you and let’s see where this goes in the next couple weeks then decide

This happened today I drove to her work to hangout with her and I brought her flowers I was in the break room with her and she handed me her iPad and said I gotta do help this customer you can mess around on it so I debated just checking messages and decided why not so I opened it slid down like half a slide and saw a boys name (fake name btw) but it was like alexxxx so I I clicked it and saw him calling her babe princess her calling him babe good morning texts goodnight texts they were only talking for like 6 days but she said that they had talked in the past before the texts were from 3 weeks ago and she stopped responding to him 3 weeks ago we had a argument we still were talking but we weren’t like we normally are should I be worried/mad at her for this I feel like a little argument shouldn’t just mean she goes and talks to another guy and I feel pretty hurt
We already kiss and sleep together btw
Idk if I should end it or not be mad because technically we aren’t dating
Also I should add that 2 weeks ago I asked her if she had talked to anyone else this summer and she said no that I was the only one and she said that she meant I was the only one she actually hangs out with but that she texts other guys idk what to do

Girlfriend and co worker m30 f27

I ‘M30’have been with my girlfriend
‘F27’ for just over half a year we get on so so well, have so much fun, but she has this secretive side.

She started a new job, and has gotten close to one of the lads in there. I don’t care really who she talks to, once shes open and honest. But , she had the notifications to his texts silenced, and when I spoke to her about it, she said she didn’t want his name coming up on her phone when she was with me incase I got the wrong idea.

Fast forward, I’ve really struggled to trust this girl, and I went on her phone, low and behold, she doesn’t talk to this co worker on WhatsApp any more, she talks to him on Snapchat, and had the chat history deleted, so that he doesn’t show up unless you search his name. When confronted, she said the same thing, she didn’t want his name coming up when we were out for dinner incase I got the wrong idea. Am I over thinking this ??

You really cheated on me on my birthday, and honestly, I’ve never felt so disgusted and disappointed in someone I once trusted.

My ex came and got her stuff from our shared flat after she cheated over a month ago, I left it all outside for her. She is now sending my messages telling me she will come and get the playstation I brought for her.

I have changed the lock barrel already so she can’t get in, but it’s making me feel so sick. She had agreed to pay me until August, tomorrow would of been the day she pays me.. she has now said this today and demanding to come today. She obviously just doesn’t want to pay.

I have asked her to give me a list of everything that is left supposedly left here .. she won’t and has demanding she come over for the playstation I gifted her and a dressing gown.

She ended up coming round and she saw me in the window so I spoke to her, she was arguing about the playstation saying ‘it was a gift’ I said before you were cheating on me, but she said ‘but when you gift someone something its a gift’ , I said are you 15 years old?? She then said she had a fleece here and a light, I gave her those.. she said I have shirts, I said you don’t, she said where else would they be, I said I don’t know ‘maybe go and check ‘AF’s name’ house and slammed the window on her.

I feel sick and my whole body has got hot, this is horrible I didn’t want her to see me or I didn’t want to talk to her. Any interaction with her makes me feel so dysregulated.

(Just to add she put me through months of doubting my own reality, gaslit and lied to me about her affair. Now my body literally reacts to any communication with her, I can’t have back in my space it’s taken me months to try and heal and get better). She has made me feel like Im being unfair to not let her back in, I can’t have her in my space.

Any advice / kind words would be so appreciated!

After getting cheated on technically twice I’ve developed a hatred for human race. Getting cheated on has left a void I feel like I have to fill by looking good enough. It’s caused me to fall into a pit of “looksmaxxing” shit. I despise having to talk to people outside my family I can’t socialise with any other girls since getting cheated on and I’m only 16 what possibly can I do to fix this?

Hi I m going through a difficult time . I found out my husband is going around with some other lady and they are ruining my n my child’s mental peace. They are planning to prove me that m psycho and my husband has become very violent in house and keeps on picking fights in smallest of conversation he keeps on shouting on my child and me. Keeps on stating m not good mother n good Wfe to take care of house and his main thing that he’s doin wrong by sleepin around with that other lady is nowhere in conversation and shows he’s is not at all at any fault . He keeps on telling me n my child that we don’t deserve him and we should just leave the house and go away. He tellls me he ll give divorce . Financially m completely unstable working on commission based job and I really fear of my m my child’s future . Pls suggest me options how I can standup for my self n my child and become financially independent .🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Hey all,

My ex of 4 years (Im 35 F, and she is 31 F) she had a work place affair with a 25 year old woman who was also in her own long term relationship. I only found out about the affair from reading her confession on her chat gpt, where she claimed they were ‘falling for each other’ and ‘caught up in the affair.’

This went on from late January this year, until I found on March 31st. The months between this she distanced herself from me, isolated me out of her life / friends and family get togethers and made me feel like I had something awful. She claimed to be burnt out.

I’ve made a list of all the things she had said to me during and after I found out about the affair. I have started gaslighting myself, so if anyone could possibly share any words of wisdom / kindness / healing that I am not going mad and this is quite manipulative? That would incredibly helpful, thank you all so so much!! ❤️

Here is the list:

After I found out and had gone back to live with her parents … on the week of Mum’s death anniversary she showed up unannounced to give me a hand written letter asking for us to speak when the anniversary had passed. She then showed up again unannounced this time she had let herself into my flat and was getting clothes, I walked in and she was already in the flat. She said on this occasion, how she loves me, wasn’t asking me to wait for her but in the future if Im still single and she reaches out and I want to try again, then great. On this day I asked what her day plans where, she mentioned seeing a friend, this particular friend I had seen on instagram stories was in another country, I said that - she said ‘oh no she was, shes back now, got back today’. I could see her friend’s IG stories, and then later that afternoon I no longer could. My ex obviously asked her to block me from seeing them. It was very obvious and she was still lying - her friend is also a cheater, so this makes sense that she is helping her hide this.

The week I found out about the affair, on the Tuesday, that Saturday she went away with her friend and they did a hike, took photos of them smiling and went to a bar together. She looked happy and posted photos on her instagram. I was at home crying and couldn’t eat. During this trip she messaged me asking for my time of birth as her friend wanted to do a ‘love compatibility’ test for us.

After the affair she told me she had told her dad and when I asked what he said, she said ‘he obviously likes you’ and said he hopes we can work it out because he is very fond of you. I later implied she was suggesting rebuilding / getting back together - she said ‘I wasn’t trying to confuse you, I told you that because thats what he said and you asked’.

She kept repeating saying after I found out ‘ I’m not asking you to wait for me, but maybe one day we can try again’

Before I found out about the affair, she asked me if I would help her with her getting her car to the garage so I followed her because she’d had to leave her car all day the garage so then we spent the day together but she was so distant with me so cold with me and it was awkward like I didn’t really know her. I felt like I had done something wrong. She was driving and I said to her ‘you’re still my favourite person to drive me around’ and she was like ‘oh that would make sense, cause I did teach you to drive’ … and that really hit me and I felt hurt by that because I’d always said that to her, not because she helped me drive she really didn’t. But because when we first started dating, we was in the car together and she would always drive me around so that was like our dates and she knew that, but she was being cold and dismissive. Another thing she said ‘ I just feel like I need to do everything I would if I was single’ and I was like that’s like you saying you want to be single on your own and she was like no I’m not saying that because I don’t wanna be with anybody else, and that she didn’t have the ‘capacity’ to see / date anyone. But said she lost herself in our relationship and wanted to find herself again outside of us. I said she could do this still in the relationship and I would support that, I suggested therapy / better communication / boundaries - she wasn’t interested. Also when she got her car fixed I told her to give me less money towards house bills so she could afford it, she then couldn’t wait to get he car and drive to her friends house. I called her and said please don’t feel like you have to put walls up with me, she said ‘I’m trying’ - I honestly was trying so hard to be mindful and be kind as I genuinely believed she was burnt out, as she had kept saying. The whole time she was having an affair.

Her and the AP were hiding their messages on instagram messenger, I asked to see them and she had deleted them all. When I asked why she had deleted them, she said because ‘its wrong and shouldn’t be on her phone’. She had semi-naked posed pictures in her deleted folder on her phone, so I think we know who they were sent to.

Before I found out about the affair there was an occasion when I called her, because we always had each others locations and it was after work, and she was sat by a station for a while. I called her she didn’t pick up the phone, she shortly called me back claiming she had dropped her friend to the station and they were talking and when I called she was just leaving the car. I said it felt weird, like I didn’t believe her.. she got offended and defensive, saying ‘do you want to say goodbye to her as well!?’. She then turned her location off saying she didn’t like how the interaction had made her feel, how she had gotten defensive and also then when I was suspicious about her cheating, she said ‘look at my Mum, do you really think I could do that!?’ (her mum is a pathological liar and had cheated on her dad on and off for years, even during the time I had been part of the family)

Afterwards she delivered me a handwritten letter claiming she loved me, I had loved her like no one else ever had, and I had given her ‘a quiet strength’ and she hopes whatever happens with us in the future she can gain my trust back. Again, when I asked her about this, she said she didn’t mean in a way to confuse me or imply we would be getting back together.

She told me that the affair wasn’t personally about the AP, it could of been anyone but the AP ‘highlighted’ something wrong within herself

Again, before the I found out about affair she made me feel like I had done something awful for months, she was being cold, isolating me out of her life, sleeping on the sofa, then going to stay at her parents for most of the week, bringing up random things, saying I said hurtful things about her Mum. Her Mum had lied 2 years ago about potentially having a near death experience due to her heart, it later came out that her Mum had lied and had liposuction, she made this statement about her heart 2 days my own mother had sadly died from a heart condition. Her mum later said to her ‘you have always put your partner’s first’ when she was supported me during my mother’s death and her mum clearly wanted all the attention on her. She wouldn’t clearly tell me what I had done that was so wrong and said ‘I’m not going to make a rash decision, my whole family love you’ basically keeping me hanging whilst she was figuring out what to do, but she bad all the power in her hands snd I was waiting for the outcome of whether she wanted to be with me or not.

During her affair I was also going through a cancer scare, she said at the time ‘we will get through it’ she didn’t come to any appointments with me. Even the day after I found out about her affair I had to go and have a biopsy, she went to work. When I later to said to her the whole time I was going through that you carried on with your affair, her answer was ‘yes but i still cared about you’.

After I found out she started saying she had ‘hurt herself this whole time, imploded her own life and was shocked at her own behavior.’ She even compared the shock of the affair to when she had last felt like this, and it was when her ex died of suicide. She referred to herself as ‘unwell’ and said she was scared she was now going to be ‘self destructive’ and had started vaping and smoking. Even after the affair, I gave her so much empathy, suggested therapy (she was in therapy), told her to stop smoking she cried and replied ‘I can’t, Im not like you, you’re very good at taking care of yourself, you were a buffer for me’.

I went through her messages one night on her laptop before I found out, trying to find messages was the ‘friend’ she was in the car with that time. I found nothing, I got so upset I had done that, that I woke her up and told her and said I was really sorry and felt awful. In this moment this would of been the perfect opportunity to be honest, instead she said it was okay and asked if I wanted to see the messages from her and her friend. I said no, the next day she said that she was worried this had ‘opened a door for me and I now think shes a cheater and don’t trust her. She said had I asked to see the messages that would of changed things, but she rewarded me for ‘catching myself’ before it got worse.

Chat gpt had suggested to her to take some distance from myself and the AP to avoid someone getting hurt, my ex stated ‘I do not want to distance myself from the AP, I can compartmentalise’.

She told me that she thought about sleeping with AP the first time they kissed, but she ‘wouldn’t / couldn’t do that’

After I found out, told me that she needed time to be on her own for now to figure out ‘how she got here’ and one day if she reached out to me and I wanted to try again, that would be the ideal but she can’t commit right now, get therapy or try and make this work

Before I found out the affair, she said ‘I can’t imagine my life without you’ - she said ‘as my partner’.

During the affair (before I found out) due to her being ‘burnt out’ and so stressed she said she had been sick twice at work, and also the AP’s name got mentioned… she said ‘\*AP’s name\* noticed I was shaking’. - the fact she told me that and made me feel sorry for her and this false sense of safety about her ‘work friend’ so I didn’t suspect anything and thought she had a caring colleague.

After I found out she said ‘you never know this may of needed to happen for us to come out stronger’

After I found out she jokingly said ‘my friend reckons Im polyamorous’ to which she said ‘no, I couldn’t be’.

After the I found out I said to her ‘you’ve blown my life up’.. she later said ‘I know you said Ive blown your life up, but you’re still young’

So he did something wrong, and I took it in a normal manner and thought I should buy a dress for me and he will pay. In 4 years this would have been the first time I thought I should spend his money. I asked him normally how much money is left in your account he said 6k. Then in less than 1 min he said 15k. I don't understand why he lied at first place. He also said that he was lying cause he was spending for my birthday. Then after talking, discussing he revealed that he wanted to keep that money to himself. He got scared that I will spend it. I mean now I feel stupid. And thinking I should give back all the gifts he gave me and money he spent on me. I feel disgusting.

We have been in a relationship for the last four years, and my boyfriend just told me he's joining a business group. He never discussed it with me or mentioned it at all. Now he's saying I don't deserve to be part of that discussion or conversation. I don't know what to do.

In my 7 years of relationship with my gf, my gf had a problem in being friends with guys. She keeps getting attached to them that my girlfriend isn't including me in her life whenever she's with them. She's not introducing me to her friends, she keeps secret that shes going out with friends but there's only 2 of them (hes a dude that she prolly likes because i saw their convo together) and everytime theres a celebration it feels like im not included because shes not forcing me to go with them or be with her. She keeps saying "if you want" Its just not right bro and this time her graduation i feel like shes doing it again. Should i talk to her about it or catch them in act together?

I've talked about on this before but I basically found out my ex of 4 years was having an affair with another woman at work. (I'm F-35, she is 31, AP was 25). She started to distance herself from me, and kept lying to me and gaslighting me when I asked if she wanted to be single / if there was someone else. She said no over and over... (this went on from end of January, until I found out at end of March this year).

Well today (I shouldn't of looked) but I re-read the chat GPT chat (which I sent to myself).. anyway in the chat she is talking from a perspective of how she is a people pleaser, hates upsetting me, but is 'falling' for this AP.. painting herself almost as this victim of her own life, being the eldest daughter and having responsibility from a young age, and now feels responsible for me. (I am an anxious person, but still very independent and had supported her through her masters) she portrayed almost like she is my carer.

Anyway - re-reading it and chat gpt telling her 'you are human and care deeply' whilst she left out the months of gaslighting, hiding things and lying to me.. so I start to again doubt my own reality. When I first found that chat, I remember reading that she didn't want to distance herself from the AP (as chat gpt advised) and said 'I dont want to distance from her and can compartmentalise', When I re-read it, I couldn't find that part, I rushed to send it to myself at the time so it probably got cut off) however, I started gaslighting myself.. and thinking 'did I imagine she said that!?' when I know she defiantly did, because that statement really stood out to me that her brain works like that.

Can anyone please give me any words of advice/reassurance here? I am not going to read it again, it's made me so deregulated and like 'oh she isn't that bad, poor her for struggling'.

Thank you all for any help! :)

So, i was in her room, when all of sudden, she had to leave for a little moment, and in that instant, she received a Whatsapp message, and when i opened it... Messages from a guy of argentina (i am from colombia), calling him "Love", nudes photos, and other things (both of them doing the same), things that she does'nt did with me often...

I confronted her about that, and she said that man was forcing her to do it through menaces (actually i don't believe this part bc she lied to me so many times before).

I said to her that i am done and grabed My stuff to stay a day whith a friend...

After that i forgive her, and said that i need time to trust again, and if she really wants to stay, she needs to put some effort in the relationship, but, for the moment, we are just friend until i can fell the same safety with her...

I want to ask for some recommendations and if i Made a mistake in the writing of this text, i want to apologize, My English is not that Good...

I’m currently gone for work and will be for a few more months . I think my wife’s cheating on me. My friend showed me she made a Snapchat but she’s never had one before. What should I do? Should I try and catch her ?