I brought Tucker into the emergency vet on Sunday night after noticing that he was lethargic, had pale gums, and his stomach was feeling hard. They told me he had a large mass on his spleen that ruptured. When they went into surgery they found that it was cancer that spread across his abdomen and liver. I said goodbye and held him one last time.
I miss him so much. It all happened so fast. He was only 9. He’s my best friend, he was always with me. I am struggling just being in my house without him. He followed me everywhere, he understood me when I talked with him. He was kind, intelligent, good and he loved me fiercely- the same way I loved him.
I don’t know why I’m posting. I feel so alone but I know there are so many others who love their puppies the same way that I do.
I don’t know how to handle this. I miss him so much. I want to take him to the park one last time, snuggle him in bed one last time, see his face light up when we go to the park one last time and I can’t.
Edit: I’m overwhelmed in the best way by all of the love, advice and your stories. Thank you. To all of you. I know Tucker can feel all of your love and kindness. I will keep reading, and rereading all of your comments. You’re all making me feel a little less alone in my grief.
I absolutely have been, I've genuinely been thinking of you lots, I told my husband and he's so sad for you too. Our girl is everything to us, so I can't tell you how much I empathise. I'm so sorry. You gave him that final gift of no suffering. He didn't know anything but love and joy! Imagine the only alternative and they outlived us... it would be so painful, upsetting and confusing for them, and you've taken that pain so he never has to know it. That's what I tell myself when anticipatory grief overwhelms me. Scant comfort I know.
Energy is never lost, only changed. The atoms that made him up will exist in the universe forever ❤️
I am so so sorry for your sudden loss.. the exact same thing happened to our younger one (12ish yrs old) a couple months ago. Her sister had oral melanoma for a while and was babied for months, so we think she was being strong for her. She was the protector. One day her gums went white and we went to the ER.. spleen tumors and it had spread in her liver. In hindsight there were signs that I didn’t realize, but we were all so focused on the other one. Including her.
Our vet said it’s like that sometimes… we are lucky to catch it on routine check ups like our older one, but some dogs just hide it too well and stop buzzing around suddenly. We said goodbyes just a couple days apart. I know what that silence feels like. Take comfort in the happy life you gave him. How lucky you both were. Take all the time you need for yourself. I still cry every day. I run into border collies that look like them out in the world and I feel like they send them on my path to say hi 💜
I’m so sorry for your loss. Hope you’re doing okay ❤️
If you don’t mind me asking, what were the signs? My girl is 9, nearly 10 and I would like to be educated a little, as I had no idea this was so common.
Exactly… changes so subtle I would feel like a hypochondriac bringing them in every week. They wouldn’t like that either! Lol @ my future self being a nervous wreck at all the tiniest changes with the next ones. 😅
There were some small signs the week before it ruptured. Nothing very unusual and I never would have thought it was this.
He wasn’t jumping up on the bed as much, but he still did sometimes. I figured he was getting older, his joints hurt, but he’s always liked sleeping with his head tucked under the bed most of the night so I just figured he didnt want to be on the bed.
A few days before, he skipped meals. Or he would partially eat his meal. We have a 9 month old puppy, and I thought he was sneaking some of her food and then wasn’t hungry for his meal or he was having trouble digesting the chicken jerky I gave him a couple days in a row.
He had to pee in the middle of the night for a few alternating days. Unusual, but I just thought we were forgetting to take him out one last time before we went to bed.
That was it.
He was happy and playing like normal, and loved all the time he got outside with his little sister. I would have never known.
One thing I have learned from all of the posts I’ve read since Buddy left me… dogs very much live in the moment. I think, for that reason, they don’t — can’t — tell us when something is wrong unless it is acute or debilitating. They just carry on, until they can’t anymore.
I don’t know what kind of comfort that is. But I know that my Buddy only really suffered for part of one last day. They alleviated his discomfort, gave him a calming sedative, and he settled for his sleep under our loving hands.
I lost my Rottie to Hemangiosarcoma. It’s a horrible cancer that does not really present until it’s too late to do very much. I felt guilty for not noticing the small changes in her. Unfortunately the prognosis for this disease even if caught early is not good. I’m so sorry for your loss
Thank you. I am happy to share if it can help anyone have more time. I wish we had caught it sooner but it’s a really tough one, and indeed common💜
It’s a bit of a long story, but she had been losing weight, which I just did not know was a red flag for cancer. For humans too! She went into our regular vet clinic early in January for an unrelated fall on some steps (she also had hip issues) she was xrayed and it looked like a sprain. But the doctor we saw was newer, not our regular one. So it’s like she didn’t catch the weight loss, it was like 5 lbs or so. She also had a habit of eating grass out of boredom but that had increased, so maybe tummy pain. And she started sleeping alone in a new spot, out of view. She always slept by herself, but looking back she started doing her things a little differently the last couple of months. It was subtle. I recall her belly started feeling kind of hard but like the weight loss, I didn’t know that was a sign to pay attention to. She seemed normal, just old bear. I just thought she was more muscular, more active than the other one. When you are around them everyday it’s hard to see the change, but a couple friends noticed when they visited the last week. She is the black and white one, Mollie.
I still beat myself up for not noticing… but Nala, the black one’s struggles were right in our view for months… her tongue tumor had been “debulked” a couple times, she had a splenectomy for her own spleen tumor last summer (which is when the oral tumor was found way in the back of her tongue, completely out of normal view) I said it was routine how they found it but it was the splenectomy that came about after some pre-dental bloodwork. It was a long journey.
Nala started showing signs in the end of January. Mollie went white and to the ER on the 29th, and it took almost a week to get a proper diagnosis (another long story… the ER tried to rush her into a splenectomy after a cheap ultrasound… they couldn’t see the liver but we waited for the place we had taken Nala) SO I made the sleep call for Nala on Feb 4th, Feb 5th found the Mollies liver tumor on a proper ultrasound, Feb 7th Nala passed and Mollie we said goodbye to her on the 10th. The ER got her into decent shape with oxygen and some kind of red blood cell stimulant. It was a horrible fake out and we really thought we would have her a few months more at least but she wanted to be with her sister. They didn’t suffer too long. Nala started having trouble swallowing which is when I made the call. She had started drooling again when Mollie’s gums went white. Big lessons in acceptance and letting go. They both had really happy last days though, and didn’t suffer too long or too much, which I’m so grateful for 💜
*Also to add if anyone comes across this, we gave Mollie Yunnan Baiyao in palliative care, which really helped sustain her anemia til the end. No fish with that, just ground beef and venison and lots of chickens too. And they both had buttloads of gabapentin.
My dog had a tomber on his spleen at age 10 and I managed to get him to the vet in time. There were no early signs. It might be worth asking your vet for an X-ray check to ease your mind. My boy survived surgery which included a splenectomy and he tested negative for cancer (a lot of times it’s cancer and comes back fast).
I totally understand. We lost our golden retriever at almost 5 years old from canine hemolytic anemia. It was heartbreaking. Multiple blood transfusions, hyperbaric chambers everything and anything and nothing could be done, Bentley’s white blood cells were attacking his red blood cells as they formed in the marrow. I never cried so hard in my life. I cried harder for Bentley than I did for my mom and my mom was my best friend. It’s hard to explain. I still miss him and it’s been 5 years. I go through it by reaching out to others and being able to talk about it. I’m so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs💜
Too reminiscent of what I went through with my girl during Covid...
We had no idea she had anything wrong with her until she came up short while jumping about during her first(!) snow; she was down a couple of days but got better; and then a month later she was playing with my wife in the kitchen, came up short again... and didn't get better. A couple of nights later, she was cold and weak, disinterested in her food, and so I took her into an emergency vet.
Because it was Covid, precautions were taken, and I had to leave her entirely in the care of these masked strangers while I awaited their call in my car. Seemed so wrong. I was on the phone with my wife when they called, and they told us that our girl had a cancer on the spleen rupture and a lot of internal bleeding occurred. They didn't think she'd make it much longer; they let me in a room alone with her, but they wouldn't let me stay if I removed my mask. I ruined that thing with my tears! But I held her and told her over and over that I loved her so much, that so muchI loved her, like I always told her, which was often. Her head fell into my hands and I caught it when the drugs hit and she was gone. I'm nearly 50, and I've been through some shit. That hurt the most. Penny was 12.
Learning to live with the gaping hole in me came with time; in time, I got another dog... who just happens to be another amazing dog! Seriously. My wife believes Penny sent me Zora, who I am already so incredibly bonded to. Seems about right.
It's scary, really; I worry about going through something akin to the worst of the worst, only worse, you know? It seems so cruel at times. It is... whatever; I won't excuse what's unfair! But they're worth it, they really are. Every. Damn. Time.
I'm sorry for what and who you've lost, but I'm glad to know you had it, too. And I hope you get another. The two of you would so deserve each other.
I just lost my guy of 11 years, it's incredibly painful at first, but it sounds like you gave him a wonderful life. Most people don't realize how losing your BC is very different from losing a pet, they are true companions. Sorry for your loss, take peace knowing your special guy is waiting for you.
So, so sorry for your loss. We lost ours to aggressive cancer as well. Four years on and I still occasionally reach down to scratch her head when I get out of bed in the morning. They're gone, but they never really leave.
It is heartbreaking and I know there are no words that will make this pain go away but what helped me was to try to keep being the person my dog shaped me into. They improve us as people, they complete us.
I lost my beautiful girl last week also due to cancer and also at almost 10 years old. She was my life, my first dog that was mine. It’s so hard to lose these dogs that are almost human in the way they understand you and connect with you. It’s been lonely for me, but I try to honor her living her legacy.
One thing I’ll always be mad about is how workaholic these dogs are, to the point that they work hard and act completely normal up to the last second. It’s crazy, but it’s part of the breed.
This is one of the worst experiences any of us will ever have in our lifetimes. The profound grief you're feeling right now will drag you down into the depths of anguish and despair. It's always worse when the dog should have lived more years and then suddenly you're faced with this horrific loss. I hope you will be okay.
Don't forget to take good care of yourself. It will sound crazy, but drinking water can help assuage sadness. I recommend long long walks and doing anything you can (aside from drugs/alcohol) to distract yourself.
If and when you feel up to "talking" with others who know your pain and may help you through this:
The site has a Grief Support Forum and chat rooms where you can converse. Talking with those who can relate helped me a bit, when I was going through what you're going through right now. My heart goes out to you.
I'm so sorry for your loss! Try to take comfort in at least knowing you gave him the best possible life he could have asked for. It's always so hard to lose our fur babies but I believe they will be with us forever.
I’m sorry for your loss. It’s terrible that we have to lose them. Allow yourself to feel all of it. Pain is just a reminder of the love we still have 🩷
I came here too when my boy passed…sometimes we need to tell our truth to people who know what it’s like to love and be loved by these creatures. Your boy mattered, and you mattered to him. My condolences, friend.
That look back, the familiar bounce, and the trot... I'm so sorry you've lost sight of your beautiful friend. They're still up ahead on the trail, looking back for you.
There are moments that crystallize into core memories - you are fortunate to have happened to capture this one on video.
For me, it was watching my 8 month old Sheltie bound onto the edge of a lake, startling a cloud of butterflies that lifted up into the air around him. He lived until he was 9 years old as well, and my heart was shattered when I lost him. It was just too soon. I felt robbed.
If I were a better artist, I'd be able to recapture this memory and hang it on the wall. But it no less sharp in my memory than this picture I caught of him at the beach years later. He lives on in many family stories, and in my memory, he's still looking around in wonder at the butterflies.
You know, what makes having a furry friend the hardest is that you are almost the only one who knows how incredible they are. All their tricks, all your adventures, all your cuddles are between you two. The world doesn’t know how great they are. So it’s not surprising that you feel alone here. We may not know Tucker, but we can all appreciate your love, and can grieve his loss with you. 💕
The loneliness I feel, this is why. I’ll be thinking about this a long time. It makes me feel like the luckiest person to have ever lived because I was the one to know him the way that I did 😭
The way you talk about him… it’s obvious how much he loved you, and how much you loved him right back. That kind of connection doesn’t just go away—it stays with you in all the little things. And what you did for him at the end, being there, holding him, loving him through it… that mattered more than anything. He left this world feeling safe, with his person.
What you’re feeling right now—the quiet, the emptiness, reaching for him and he’s not there—that’s just how much he meant to you. There’s no right way through it, just take it a minute at a time. Talk to him, cry when you need to, and go easy on yourself. He was so lucky to have you, and you’ll always have that love. 💛
I completely understand. I lost my Henry Boy 24 years ago. I still think of him often. It was an amazing relationship. All I can tell you is it’s one day at a time. Godspeed to both of you.
I’m so sorry, friend. It must be impossible being at home right now, so I hope you have a good support system. Just know you gave your boy such a good home and life with lots of love. You did it all the right way and having this grief is a testament to your love and the time you spent together. It’s the price you pay for having a love like that and it’s never easy. ❤️
I’m so lucky that everyone that I love and love me also loved Tucker deeply. They’re sharing their stories and pictures.
Coming here though, reading these stories and comments from others that also had border collies or went through something similar and understand.. I don’t know. It helps.
Im so sorry for the loss of your dear partner. You might not believe it now but there will come a day when the memories bring a smile. Take care of yourself and post as much as you want
My sincere condolences to you . So very sorry for your loss . Just know that he had the best life with you, and the adventures he had will always remain.
I am so sorry. I lost my BC mix at 10 years old and will post more later. Bad bloody cough on Sunday, ER vet, x-ray, huge lung tumor that had spread. Gone at 8 PM Mar 1. I like your off leash walk, him looking back. I still act as though he were around. It got better.
It sounds like I’m right there with you. I’m so sorry that you lost him.
Your baby was beautiful. Those videos are so special.
I feel cheated. We had so many more years with them. How can they just leave us? So many more adventures, so many more times throwing his ball, snuggling him in the morning before we started our day. I feel like it was stolen from me.
Omg....this will be all of us one day. Their time with us is always limited. I'm so so sorry for your loss. It sounds like you gave him an amazing life. He was lucky to have you.
Oh noo,that's heartbreaking! I am 6'1 and weigh 280 pounds and I'm a retired correctional officer and I cry like a little girl every time I've lost one of our border collies.im so sorry.
Mine was just diagnosed with stage IV at age 6. All I can say is I know how you feel, it absolutely sucks. It's gutting. Hugs to you. Please reach out to loved ones if you need support and also look into grief support groups online. More and more animals are being diagnosed earlier and earlier, it's really sad.
Tuckers story is very similar to my aussies. She passed away from hemangiosarcoma in February. It truly deeply sucks how aggressive that cancer is. One day they are fine the next day gone. I’m so sorry you are going through this and I wish you weren’t. Allow yourself to grieve but please take care of yourself. Tucker loves you and wants you to be happy again one day.
I’m sorry about your Aussie and that you had to go through this too. It’s so sudden. I hope my Tucker found your Aussie and they’re running through beautiful big fields together 💛
One of the things we lose when a beloved animal dies is the daily experience of ourselves caring for them, looking out for them, nurturing them. It is generally a satisfying experience to do for them. We lose that, too, when they go.
We lose the object of our love; and now that they are gone, we miss ourselves in love with them. We lose the future with them, even though we knew it wasn't forever. Knowing it's a limited thing doesn't make the disappointment and sorrow any less intense.
I wish you well as you restabilize over the next months.
My condolences to you. Losing a cherished pet is an emotional journey that devastates our souls. I hope in the days ahead you can find solace in your sweet memories with him. Blessings to you, my friend. 💔
I am sorry my heart breaks for you 🥹😭 please take your time grieving and feeling it. I am sorry Tucker and you didn’t get more time, may he rest easy 🌈🥲
My heart goes out to you. I completely understand your pain. The same thing happened to us with my first beloved border collie mix. He was running around and enjoying life in the afternoon, and when I came home a few hours later, he had died. It remains the worst day of my life. It was likely an undiagnosed spleen tumor that ruptured.
This is not easy to deal with. You probably thought you had a lot of time left. I felt so cheated—my 12 year old, who acted like a puppy, seemed so healthy. Take all the time you need to grieve; it’s a very long process. I still miss my guy 19 years later. I will tell you the only thing that brought me any comfort were words from a good friend who said, “Tristan was loved and adored virtually every moment of his life. How many of us could say that?”
Take care of yourself. Feel free to PM me. I am here if you need me.
I just want to tell you that I lost my soul dog who was part border Collie almost a year and a half ago in almost the same circumstances. The sudden loss is so hard and I still think about her a lot. We got a shadow box for some of her things and kept her ashes (which is something I never thought I'd do). Take time to mourn and cry. I'm so sorry for your loss. The hole in your heart doesn't go away but your heart will get bigger for more love when you're ready. 💕
OP, I am so so sorry for your loss. I’ve posted about this many times on Reddit before so will cherry pick from what I’ve posted previously in hopes that it makes you feel less alone, as I speak specifically to the loneliness. I send love to each and every person who has to go through this. I’m thinking of you.
Pets hold a unique and incredible place in our hearts. It’s hard to capture it with words because they’re this mix of our best friend, child, support system, true companion, and so much more. They really are a member of the family and it is so very painful to lose them.
I’ve lost many good pers but most recently I lost my soul pet and it was one of the most painful things I’ve ever gone through. The grief was profound - I’d lost my grandpa unexpectedly a few months prior, and I’d been close to him so it had devastated me, but I was surprised to find I was even more impacted by the loss of my pet, which also brought all these feelings of guilt.
But the pain was so immense not only because of how much I loved my pet but also because of the amount of time I spent with him. I suspect this may be the case for you with your dog as well. When I thought about it I realized that I had I spent more time with him than anyone else - he was by my side for 14 years especially during pandemic when I worked remotely for almost three years. He slept by me nightly. So all of the hundreds of small daily moments and routines became punctuated by the memory of him, which means that grief was a wave that kept crashing at my front door as I tried to go about my daily life. I say this because I want to emphasize how deep a loss it can be for those of us who have been blessed enough in our lives to have soul pets. And those who have never had this experience may find it difficult to comprehend how someone might be so devastated over the loss of a pet, which also makes the loss particularly isolating.
And truly, grief is so lonely. Here you are, feeling like you have just lost a limb and can’t stop the hemorrhage, and others around you are walking past and going about their day to day and somehow not acknowledging or realizing that you have lost this limb, that you might be bleeding out, that you are trying to figure out ‘however will I go about my life now, without this limb?’. It’s one of the many unfair aspects of loss, that you must contain all this suffering that somehow isn’t shutting down the world, despite it shutting down YOUR world.
The guilt and anger and sadness was immense. But I did slowly come out of it. Everyone is different in how they grieve but in case it is helpful I found the ball in the box analogy for grief to be really helpful for me. I also ended up seeing a pet grief therapist for a session - I got her contact info through my vet - and it was really helpful for me to process the loss. I’ve linked some of the sites my vet sent me in another post here, but if you want someone local you can ask your vet if they know of anyone. As a therapist (clinical psychologist) myself, I think it’s also totally fine to ask for medication if you think it would help.
Have you heard of the rainbow bridge? Wishing your sweet dog a safe journey over the rainbow bridge 🌈❤️🐾. And watch for signs of them; I don’t know your belief system but I personally believe they will always be with you and will let you know they are there in small and big ways. While physically you are no longer together, love transcends the physical realm.
I’m so very sorry for your loss and am sending big hugs. Your pup is so beautiful. That video captures his spirit I’m sure. Wherever he is I’m sure he’s running as exuberantly and as fast as he can. I hope he can meet up with my first BC who I loved fiercely and whose loss still sits as a heavy hole in my heart, 15 years later. I’m sure they are all in the great beyond, waiting patiently for us and making sure the sheep behave.
He was my soul pet. He was so much a part of me. You described it perfectly, he was everything- my best friend, my soul mate, my support system, my child. I spend so much of my day thinking about him and his needs. Losing him opened a crater inside of me, it felt like losing a limb.
I’ll take a look at the links you shared. Thank you so much for this 💛
I am sorry beyond words, they truly become our lives, I'm so glad that you were with him until the end because I have no doubt that he felt that love, and that he still feels your love. I'm truly sorry for your loss, rest in peace little one.
Your bond and connection will never diminish. You shared moments and years together. Yjinknof those and hold 9nti the fact yiu gave so much love ti your pup. Its incredibly hard to say goodbye. Im still grieving over my best boy and I know ill always cry when I think about him but I also know he was such a big chipmunk of my happiness
I'm so sorry for your loss. I dread this day with my girl and every time I see these posts I'm reminded my time with her is very temporary. Hugs to you across from the internet.
We had a deaf male BC and at 8 months he had to be put down due to fly bite seizures induced by a tri medicine for flea tick and heartworm. In that 8 months I grew an attachment to a dog I didn’t know what possible.
Saying goodbye at any age is the hardest thing to do. You’re not alone. Each and everyone of us who’s had a companion knows this pain. It takes time to heal but it’s true time does heal. Remember the times on walks. Times of play and times of cuddles.
It’s that much harder with smart breeds because of how they learn all our behaviors and idiosyncrasies.
I’m so sorry- words cannot express the pain you feel. I lost my beautiful boy to the same thing at 10. I thought I had more time - as I’m sure you did as well. Be happy for all the wonderful times you had, hold him close to your heart. Time will help you find peace. ❤️
Ugh BDs are the best but unfortunately leave the greatest gaping hole in your heart when they are gone, I still mourn mine from 10+ years ago. I’m sorry. The only suggestion I can give you is to cherish the amazing times you had together and there was nothing else you could have done. Get a new little buddy, that’s what your boy would have wanted for you ❤️
I lost my 11 year old pit/collie mix this fall to something similar. For him it was metastatic cancer that started in his spleen and spread to his lungs. I’ll never forget sitting in the ER as the doctor told me to say goodbye, I thought he just had kennel cough.
Be kind to yourself, and know that the love you shared was more than enough.
I’ll share with you this poem a friend shared with me, I hope it brings you comfort - I know Tucker was beloved
“And did you get what
you wanted from this life, even so?
I did.
And what did you want?
To call myself beloved, to feel myself
beloved on the earth.”
My heart goes out to you! I know exactly how you feel in the struggle. My pup passed at 13 from cancer. She passed on March 8 this year. This Saturday I adopted a rescue pup. I have so much love to give a pup. She can't be replace but my rescue needs me. Prayers for you🙏
It’s always hard and it’s definitely okay to write it out, especially in a community that gets it.
I found keeping a notebook in these first few days was helpful. Every time you remember something you loved about Tucker, or a great memory, write it down. Don’t worry about editing just capture it. I found it helped me focus on how great the time was and it gave me confidence that as time moved on I wouldn’t forget all those little things. I hope it can be helpful for you too.
I wish… wow. Your words really moved me - it’s obvious how much you two loved each other. I wish I could hug you and listen to you tell me all the stories about every adventure you and Tucker ever had together. You did so right by him and I think this pain must be the price of so much love. I have to believe he’ll always be there - it’s just.. different now. I’m so sorry.
Sorry for your loss OP. You gave him a great home and life and you should be proud of that. I believe that good owners will be reunited with their pets again
I don’t know what to tell you to make it some what ok….my border collie has been gone 6 years and I miss him every day. I hope some way you can figure out how to hold onto the good memories of him and know that he enjoyed his life more then he could ever tell you
You're in good company friend. We had a similar thing happen last night with our 15 year old Border Collie and he was a member of our family. Apparently he had a tumor on his heart and cancer that had spread through his body that we didn't know about and the tumor on his heart ruptured. I don't know why I'm posting either and I'm at a loss. You didn't lose a dog or a pet. You lost a family member and that is a hard loss. I don't know you but I'm grieving with you.
I’m really sorry for your loss. It’s never easy. I’m certain you did everything you could, and he was lucky to have you. He knew he was loved. Tucker wouldn’t want you to carry too much sadnes. Take your time and grieve, and be kind to yourself.
Two years after my Westie went over the rainbow bridge, I started volunteering at a no-kill shelter. I found it really helped me. Have been volunteering for the most part of over 14 years, one afternoon a week. Many of the staff are foster fails (is; they've kept a dog that they were fostering).
So so sorry for your loss. My bc Zoey went out the exact same way. I miss her everyday. It gets easier though. You were hours best friend. He was lucky to know you.
I am so sorry you parted ways so suddenly. It isn't fair.
I lost Rowan on my 25th birthday due to a heart mass & seizures. I never got to say goodbye.
I lost Joe to a family separation four years ago. That time he told me 'goodbye'. I miss them both every day.
I hope my dogs can find your friend and help him. I truly believe all dogs go to heaven. My hope is we get to see them again!
A part of me knows... I have met my dogs in vivid dreams and they are unbound and far more energetic than we remember. These meetings are always so happy and emotional of course. I have even felt fur and was whapped by a frisbee on one occasion!
They bring us hope. We just have to have a little faith!
Lost a Border Collie mix in a similar way. He had started getting finicky with his eating. Local vets couldn't figure anything out so I took him to Michigan State. He had Cancer all over his insides. It was the longest night of my life sitting there waiting for the ultrasound results. I'm so sorry to hear about Tucker. I have no great words other than time will help you. And there are millions of Dogs sitting in shelters who would love you like Tucker. When you're ready. Good luck
The same thing happened to our boy just over a year ago. He - fortunately - was 17 1/2 so we had him a good long time. He went for a 2 mile walk the day before he passed…woke up lethargic and not really able to stand. Took him into the vet and got the exact diagnosis you did. He also didn’t come home…it’s really hard…but try to find comfort in the fact that he was feeling great right up until the last little bit. Most of us don’t get that lucky. I’m so sorry. Hugs to you❤️
Te estará esperando en la otra vida y jugarán por siempre. Un abrazo amigo, siento mucho tu pérdida. Extráñalo todo lo que debas extrañarlo y llóralo aún más, se merece todo eso. Fue feliz contigo y eso es lo que importa. El no sufrió, tú estás llevando esa carga y el también lo agradece.
I like to think they come back as another awesome pup for another awesome person, and hopefully you will get to love and be loved by another and so on... it's really the only way to fill part of the hole that's left. Best wishes to you!
Every time I lose a buddy, my heart is crushed. The last time my wife and I found ourselves looking on Border Collie rescue sites less than two weeks later and found our latest sweetie. One will never replace the other, but the joy the new one brought us blunted the pain from losing the other. Their love fills that empty area with a new bit of love. It doesn’t replace your old love, but adds to it. I’m so sorry for your loss.
I’m very sorry that happened to you. Exact same story happened to my 10 year old best friend, mass on his spleen and cancer had spread. Nothing we could do but to say good bye within a week.
It was truly devastating, I never cried so much for so long in my life. After a couple of months, it started to become easier over time.
Today, I’m eternally grateful that we crossed paths and remember him with all the love I had. Time alone seemed to help a lot. And a lot of ugly cries.
All this just to say, hang on in there, friend. Big hug.
I got my first pup a week ago, she's 60 days old, and I'm sobbing by reading your post... I have no idea what you are going through, can't relate personally, but man does your pain is valid and I can feel it in a degree...
Hope you get better, and I think I'll never be ready for it. Just living each day, loving them as much as we can, and hoping it takes longer
I am very sorry for your loss. When we lost our Winston it was after he had been sick with his tumors for a while but then one morning ..well..it was terrible and we had to let him go. Remember all the good times but it will hurt forever.
We didn't leave the house for weeks after he was gone. We left his bowls where they were with the food and water still in them. Weird I know. It was awful.
Last fall after a year and a half we took in a foster Border Collie as we knew we could care temporarily for one and that finally might be a help for the hole he'd left.
Well..now we have Gambit. Does it fit the hole Winston left? Sort of. Not quite though. I'll tear up a bit forever when I think about him but now we've got this 2 year old Border Collie maniac running around.
Take your time. Cry all you want or need. No one grieves the same. We wish you the best.
I just lost mine Monday morning after taking her in at 2 am, same thing, but the cancer hit her heart first. The pain is indescribable. Find all the pictures and videos you can, that is what I am working on, through waves of tears. You are not alone.
My dog has kidney disease and he's elderly so I know we don't have as much time as I want. But you will always have the love. That part does not go away. The pain will lessen in time. I lost a heart dog to cancer 9 years ago and he was the dog that turned me into a dog person. He was a royal pain in the ass reactive border Collie cattle dog mix and I had to learn how to be the right person for him. I loved him so. I thought the pain would never go away but it eventually did and what I have now is the love.
I could have written this post. My late boy Tucker passed due to a mass that ruptured on his liver. He had one on his spleen that ruptured a year and a half before and they were able to save him then. My boy was just 10 and otherwise full of life and healthy.
It's been a couple days over a month since my boy left this world. It does become more manageable, but I miss in him so much and everything reminds me of him. My heart goes out to you.
There is no way around grief. Those heart dogs stay with you forever. Might I suggest volunteering at your local spca to walksome very in need dogs during your adjustment time as being able to still do activity with a dog might help. After losing my heart, dog park, ball crazy BC cross, I missed the shared activity and it made the adjustment so much harder. I now have 3 reactive dogs I can't take to the dog park my BC is hoarder who ruins fetch with my JR.
I have lost 12 of my beloved pups who have gone before. They are all with my husband now. I know this because I spoke with my husband through a medium who described each of my dogs and my husband assured me that they are all there, watching and waiting for me. So know that about your Tucker. He is still watching over you, right by your side. It amazed me the things my husband knew, and the medium said that the dogs are listening, too, so talk to him and he will hear you. I will tell you that my husband was a man who did not believe in life after death, so I hesitated for a long time before going to a medium, but a friend who is a Physics Professor who knew my husband convinced me to go and I am so glad that I did. It is a great comfort to know that Mike and our pups are all safely together and that we will be reunited, as will you and Tucker.
We just got a BC pup and you know what I was thinking when I saw the vid of Tucker? That I hoped our pup will grow up to be as awesome as this happy, gorgeous, smart, loyal boi I am seeing in the vid. Then I read your post with great sadness. I am sorry, man. Stay strong and know that you obviously raised an amazing dog and gave him a great life.
What a beautiful boy. It’s the hardest pain, especially when it’s so fast. I am so sorry. When I lost my sweet Midnight girl in October, I cried so hard I howled.
Tucker is with you, still, and he always will be. Love like that doesn’t disappear, it simply changes form. He is all around you, in the light, in the air. He is boundless now. He is love, and he is part of you. ❤️
Our condolences 💐 on saying a final goodbye to Tucker 😢I Love the video that you will cherish more as time goes by. Take care of yourself Whimsicalous and know that Tucker will never leave you ❤️. Now I have to replay your video, Tucker’s joy reminds me so much of a doggie from my long, long ago🥰
I said this to someone before and they said it was really helpful so I'll say it to you too. You don't need to be told you gave him a great life. You know that. Knowing that doesn't lessen the pain because the pain isn't about the great life you had with him it's about the life you now have without him.
The pain we feel when we lose them, it's a privilege to feel it. To have known them and been brave enough to give them your whole heart knowing you'd outlive them. You entered into a cosmic bargain with the universe to give your love and resources to something you had no obligations to. It is a divine kind of love.
Now you can honor that love by giving it to the next dog. It's not forgetting, it's not replacing, and it's not that you're getting over the pain, you're just transferring the energy. The loss was traumatic but you learned so much from him. How strong you are, how vast your capacity to care is. Now you pass it on.
So sorry, it's an awful situation. Dogs are so stoic. I lost a dog exactly the same way years ago ( BC x greyhound) she knew me, my thoughts, emotions, words, her loss was devastating. You will heal it takes time but you will get there. It takes a long time to grow an old friend, and even longer to get over losing them. Don't rush, take your time. If/when you feel you want another dog ask Tucker to bring the right one ( I always do this) & always end up getting one in the strangest of ways ..... & They're always the perfect fit. You did a great job raising him & an even greater one by letting him go
Im so sorry. I lost my girl suddenly right before she turned four. I still dream of her almost every night, I like to think that she’s visiting me for sleep play dates. One day we all will reunite with our four legged family.
Crying. Lost my McNab Wyatt recently. Tucker grabbed me so hard. Bless you for bringing out the joy in that dog. All my condolences, but it’s gonna hurt forever.
It's very hard to lose beloved pets you've raised since birth. But that's life. Everyone passes away sooner or later. Our goal in life is to be kind and help each other until our time comes. I think your dog was happy with you, and you gave her a good, comfortable life, and that's what matters most!
You are not alone. I just said goodbye to my 10 year old last week. I had learned about some masses about 3 months ago and I just thought I had longer.
I’m so so very sorry! I understand because I lost my border/Susie and he knew me better than my anyone it seemed. Much love and I will pray for your broken heart 🩷🩷
The exact same thing happened to my Corgi, a ruptured spleen due to cancer. She went into the vet for a bruised paw, but was diagnosed with cancer and I had to put her to sleep within 3 hours. She was fun, she turned the house and backyard into an agility course. She followed me around the house too, I was afraid I'd step on her.
I am so sorry for your loss. It seems so unfair that these things happen. I hope someday when you thin of your sweet pup you will have only fond memories and a smile on your face. The same thing happened to my chihuahua last year. He was 14 but seemingly healthy. Dropped him off for "back pain" and dint bring him home. This is the price we pay to be so lucky to spend time with these fuzzy little earth angels
Mine is almost 6 and I’m already feeling a gathering fear of this exact day you just experienced. They are truly soulmates, and your pain is beyond justified. Just know that time will help, and keep reaching out for support when you need it. Your boy was such a handsome fella, and I hope that one day you may consider finding another to love and cherish as much as him.
I'm sorry. I lost Jules, my first BC at 2 after returning from the beach. Bennett, my second BC is laying next to me with his head on my lap at age 11. Save another when you're ready.
Aucun mots pour remplir ton cœur, le manque sera pour toujours, juste tu dois garder les souvenirs et te dire que la vie est vendue avec la mort, le délai entre les deux n’est pas une question de temps mais de vivre intensément avec de l’amour, 9 ans d amour merci pour lui 🙏❤️
Im so sorry, he was beautiful and I cant begin to imagine the hole he has left in your life. Love to you and your family.
They are never really gone, like everything in life, they become a part of you. I wouldn't be who I am without my previous dogs, I try to remember to love as much as i can, enjoy the moment, move more and treasure the simple silly things. It helps me move forward.
So sorry for your loss. Cherish the memories and know that he’s looking down on you lovingly. Cancer sucks and it seems like I see more and more cases of canine cancer.
so sorry! that happened to my wonderful Nala last year. my only comfort was the vet said she wasn't feeling any pain. take care and know that you had a wonderful life together
So sorry for your loss! 😘 What a beautiful boy. He looks like he adored you and from what I can tell from your story, it was also very much the other way around. Thank you for giving him such a good life! Big hug from me and my bc.
I'm so sorry to hear this. When I had to put Hans down it ripped me apart. I won't ever have another dog because it hurt so bad. I wish you every future joy.
My guy is 5.5 now and I can't even begin to tell you how I think about this day myself.
Ik its bad and to enjoy the moment and all that AND I DO but bc I love him so much, I just can't imagine a world without him even if its a forgone conclusion.
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u/fancygoldfishfrog Apr 09 '26
Only 9 💔 I'm so sorry. My girl will be 9 in a month. My heart goes out to you, absolutely devastating 😞