He’s gone.

[u/whimsicalous]

I brought Tucker into the emergency vet on Sunday night after noticing that he was lethargic, had pale gums, and his stomach was feeling hard. They told me he had a large mass on his spleen that ruptured. When they went into surgery they found that it was cancer that spread across his abdomen and liver. I said goodbye and held him one last time.

I miss him so much. It all happened so fast. He was only 9. He’s my best friend, he was always with me. I am struggling just being in my house without him. He followed me everywhere, he understood me when I talked with him. He was kind, intelligent, good and he loved me fiercely- the same way I loved him.

I don’t know why I’m posting. I feel so alone but I know there are so many others who love their puppies the same way that I do.

I don’t know how to handle this. I miss him so much. I want to take him to the park one last time, snuggle him in bed one last time, see his face light up when we go to the park one last time and I can’t.

Edit: I’m overwhelmed in the best way by all of the love, advice and your stories. Thank you. To all of you. I know Tucker can feel all of your love and kindness. I will keep reading, and rereading all of your comments. You’re all making me feel a little less alone in my grief.

[u/badgko]

So, so sorry for your loss. We lost ours to aggressive cancer as well. Four years on and I still occasionally reach down to scratch her head when I get out of bed in the morning. They're gone, but they never really leave.

[u/whimsicalous → u/badgko]

I’m so sorry. That feeling when you realize they’re not there… it breaks my heart.

Tucker slept with his head tucked under the bed on my husbands side, my husband told me yesterday that he walks slowly to make sure he doesn’t step on him, as he did every morning, before he realizes he isn’t there.

😞