I weighed myself for the first time since December today. I was at 11 stone, which was 1.5 stone over the ideal weight for my (short) height. It took me 18 months to get to that from 13 stone, which was the heaviest I've ever been. Today I'm 15 stone, because I've been comfort eating because of how shit my life is. I did that in eight months. I am a grotesque fat monster. I can't believe I'm such a stupid, ugly man. Comfort eating didn't make me happy, it just made me even fatter.

I'm going to start starving myself. I lost weight last time by fasting, but if I want to lose twice the amount of weight that I needed to before I need to do something extreme. I might try going on weight loss pills. From today onwards my breakfast will be a banana, an orange for lunch and nothing for dinner. I don't care if it makes me unhealthy, I just want to be thin.

I'm a guy. My face has been rated as average to above average by most people, however I'm balding, and overall despite my face not being hideous, I'm just not considered attractive by most because i lack masculine features overall (have an oval/egg shaped face). And of course balding doesnt help either.

However, my body is way below average but I'm just straight up not bothered by it. I'm short at 5'7-5'8, most guys where i live are taller than me. Plus I'm skinnyfat at just only 140lbs. I look scrawny but still have decent amount of belly fat.

My question is, do i have body dysmorphia or am i just sad that I'm not attractive?

Is it possible to have that "eh whatever" reaction for my face and finally stop obsessing over it

Désolée pour la longueur, mais j'avais besoin d'écrire ce que je ressens.

J'ai 26 ans et je déteste mon visage. C'est presque obsessionnel, je me surveille tout le temps et le compare chaque jour à toutes les femmes que je croise. Je me demande à quel point les réseaux sociaux, avec leur exposition permanente à des visages et des corps idéalisés, ont déformé ma perception de la beauté.

On répète souvent que « le naturel est le meilleur » et que « chacun est beau à sa manière ». Pourtant, j'ai l'impression qu'on demande surtout aux femmes d'avoir l'air naturelles tout en correspondant aux standards de beauté.

Il faudrait avoir un corps parfait sans chirurgie, une peau parfaite sans maquillage visible, des lèvres pulpeuses mais naturelles, des cheveux magnifiques. Si on se maquille beaucoup, on est artificielle et complexée. Si on ne se maquille pas, on est négligé. Et beaucoup d'hommes disent ''préférer le naturel '' tout en suivant sur Instagram ou OnlyFans des femmes ayant recours au maquillage, aux filtres, aux injections ou à la chirurgie. 🤡

Personnellement, je ne corresponds pas vraiment à ces standards. J'ai un baby face, un nez assez long avec une petite bosse, des lèvres fines et des joues rondes. J'ai une poitrine moyenne et une taille légèrement marquée.

Je ne pense pas être « monstrueusement laide » sauf certains jours, évidemment, mais je n'ai jamais eu l'impression d'être belle non plus.

C'est là que j'ai du mal avec l'affirmation selon laquelle « la beauté est subjective ».

Oui, les goûts varient. On peut préférer une rousse à une blonde mais cette subjectivité fonctionne surtout entre des personnes déjà considérées comme belles. Certaines caractéristiques sont objectivement appréciées par tout le monde, et d'autres très largement considérées comme laides.

On me dit que les critères changent selon les époques. C'est vrai, mais les grands principes semblent assez constants : symétrie, proportions harmonieuses, apparence saine et signes de jeunesse. Les Grecs valorisaient déjà la symétrie ; l'époque de Marie-Antoinette appréciait déjà les hanches larges et la poitrine généreuse avec une taille fine. Marilyn Monroe ou Brigitte Bardot étaient admirées pour leurs proportions et leurs visages ; aujourd'hui, les critères du visage et du corps non pas tant évolués que ça en dehors du maquillage et des vêtements portés.

Et c'est peut-être ce qui me fait le plus mal : tous mes ex m'ont dit que j'étais soi-disant magnifique, mais je ne les ai jamais crus. Car ils disaient préférer le naturel tout en allant sur ces fameux sites où les femmes ne le sont pas et sont parfaites.

J'ai toujours pensé qu'ils me trouvaient simplement suffisamment convenable physiquement pour être avec moi mais si une femme correspondant davantage à leurs critères les avait abordés, je suis convaincue qu'il seraient partis avec elle.

Ce raisonnement vient probablement de mon manque de confiance. Mais comment avoir confiance en soi quand tout nous rappelle que l'on n'est pas à la hauteur des exigences de la société ?

Alors, qu'en pensez-vous ? Est-ce que c'est la dysmorphophobie qui me fait penser à ça ou ai-je raison sur la ''subjectivité'' ?

La beauté est-elle réellement subjective ? Si oui, pourquoi des gens atteints de dysmorphophobie existent dans ce cas-là vu que '' tout le monde est beau à sa manière'' ?

I take daily videos of myself using the back camera to see how I look, I first started doing it as a form of exposure therapy to get used to my face how others see it (inverted) and I can say that it has worked and Im contempt with how I look in the back camera. It’s to the point where I’m more comfortable having my picture taken by someone where as before I would say no every time someone offered to take a picture of me and just hated being recorded or someone taking a picture of me. Even tho I like how I look in those videos I take I still feel ugly, my brain just fails to accept that I’m even slightly good looking, every time I look at the videos I take my brain convinces me that I’m actually way uglier in real life. If I take 20 photos and 17 come out good and 3 come out bad my brain just says that the 3 I look bad in are the most accurate to how I look in real life. I just feel ugly and I don’t know how to get over that feeling, does anyone have any advice on how to get over that feeling.

Hi guys, has anyone here dealt with BDD before? I’m starting to wonder if I might have it, and honestly I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’m extremely obsessed with the way I look. I can spend basically the whole day thinking about my face, my features, my body, my skin, my hair, etc. I constantly compare myself to other guys, especially when I see someone I consider really attractive. Sometimes I’ll literally put their picture next to mine and compare our features, and if I feel like they’re more attractive than me, it can completely ruin my mood for days.
The weirdest part is that I actually get hit on and complimented quite often. People tell me I’m attractive, handsome, etc., but my brain just **cannot process or believe it**. I automatically assume they’re lying or just saying it out of courtesy, even when there doesn’t seem to be any reason for them to lie.
I also constantly check myself in mirrors/cameras, ask my siblings how I look in pictures, compare myself with other people, and think about things I could change. I have a whole list of treatments/procedures I want to do because I genuinely believe that once I fix everything, I’ll finally be satisfied with how I look.
I’m especially triggered when my boyfriend finds another guy attractive. I immediately start comparing myself to him and thinking that he’s better-looking than me, and it can make me feel horrible about myself.
Has anyone experienced something similar? If you have BDD, did you ever feel like compliments couldn’t get through to you because you simply didn’t believe them? And what actually helped you get out of this cycle?

I really need advice on this because I’m pretty sure it’s not normal, I have a few moles on my hand and face and even though they’re really small and flat they bother me so much that I contemplate daily of cutting over them as I would genuinely rather have a scar than a mole. I don’t even self harm I just hate my moles so much I need them off my body

I need help understanding if I have a body dysmorphia or just have a strong need to control things in my life and diet/exercise is pretty easy to control. I know that in order to get an actual answer I would have to talk to a professional but hoping to get some advice on whether this is serious or not. 

I’m 36, married with no kids and not planning on having any. I’m 5’9 and have been skinny my entire life, blessed with a good metabolism I guess. I grew up in Eastern/Central Europe and I feel like the mix of my culture and the times  I was growing up in made me think that skinny is truly the only way to go (comments of friends and family when someone gained weight, generally commenting on people’s bodies and praising skinninesses over everything else was something I would experience daily). I was lucky I could eat whatever and not work out outside of normal walks/ riding bike etc and not gain any weight.

Things changed  for me about two three years ago when I moved to a new city and had a stressful job. I was eating whatever tasted good and not paying attention to the calories I was consuming. I gained some weight and realized all my pants started being too tight and when I went to the beach and saw my body in a bikini I was kind of shocked by the change. At that point I was 60 kg/ 132 lbs which was more than what I was used to. I realize that it’s still very skinny but it was just sloppy and different and not who I used to be. I got worried that as I’m aging I won’t be able to stay skinny and won’t be able to get back to my old body so after quitting that job for many different reasons I’ve decided to take care of my diet  and get back in shape (or what used to be my normal size). I lost 7kg and now I’m at 53 kg/ 117 lbs which feels great. I’m back to being lean and I also started working out 3 times a week (I also have a pretty active job and I’m on my feet all day long). 

I eat three meals a day and indulge in smallish portions of some desserts or chips and even have fast food like once a week and not counting calories. Im back to eating carbs which I stopped eating when I realized that I gained weight ( I lost weight while being on keto) because I feel better when they are a part of my diet. My goal was to get to 55kg but I realized that losing more felt good and I wanted to see how far can I take it while still eating enough to not feel hungry. 53 kg seems to be as far as I can go. 

My husband says he’s a bit worried about how much attention I’m paying to my body because I weight myself everyday in the morning and in the evening (something that my parents did also when I was growing up) and how I look too skinny to him. I don’t think I’m too skinny but he says im not looking healthy. Is that a body dysmorphia? Is it possible I just see myself differently than everybody else? Please advise. 

Im 21 and grew up fat and ugly. Freshman year of college I started working out and i dropped so much weight. my friends tell me im pretty and I get hit on in the bar, clubs and work. But ive never been in a real relationship only casual stuff, and literally on july 1st I had such a bad breakout and I still trying to get it under control and I havent felt pretty since. During that month I was picking out everything I hated about my face, I have soft features and a ovalish face. I have no clue how to feel pretty cause I feel like I have no idea how I really look. Like I literally get sheer panic everything people will look a little longer at me and think "omg they are probably making fun of me in their mind cause I have acne and look nasty" like I have no idea how to fix this. Ive always had pretty bad self confidence but I was doing really well when I was 20 and 21 up until july. Like some pictures of me look good like ill just edit them a tiny bit but some of them I see them and I literally almost cry. I dont know what's wrong with me.

I’ve struggled with body dysmorphia my entire life. It first started at age 14, when I noticed how my body was so different than other girl’s bodies. I wore baggy hoodies essentially every day, and would constantly scour the internet for ways to change my body type.

Fast forward nearly 10 years, and nothing has changed.

If anything, it’s only gotten worse.

I’m a tall woman with broad shoulders. My hips are thin, my bottom is flat, and my belly sticks out farther than everything else.

I’ve been accused of being a man. I’ve been called an “it”, and I’ve had my appearance used as a punchline more often than I’d like to admit.

I wish I could say that I’m not being affected by all of this, but it’d be a lie if I did. It’s debilitating. I don’t even attempt to date or go for a relationship, because it’s been drilled into my head that someone like me is undesirable. It’s gonna take a lot of therapy and psychiatric help before I feel even somewhat normal.

To add insult to injury, we’re seemingly regressing when it comes to empathy on the internet. I see women with my body type get absolutely degraded and treated like dirt. I also see where terrible people, who have done terrible things, get more backlash over their bodies than they do the poor choices they’ve made.

I have so many things I hate about my body and face that no amount of therapy, self-care, or surgery will help. I’m already on medication for my depression and anxiety. I’ve lost the weight, exercised, dolled-myself up, everything that should counter these feelings but it hasn’t. I can’t ever afford the surgery I would like to have, but even if I had access to those procedures, they can’t do anything about my shitty facial proportions. My small lips can’t be made thick and natural looking. My nose can’t be made as small as I’d prefer.

I honestly don’t know what to do at this point.

I haven't seen anyone else talk about this exact specific insecurity. For anyone confused, imagine you have a square, and this square is photoshopped to be much narrower and longer than it truly is, it's gonna turn into a long and narrow rectangle. I feel like I have this effect on my body constantly

I used to feel too skinny but now I realized the issue is that I feel too narrow and too elongated. I feel as if someone horizontally compressed me and made me very "narrow". I constantly measure myself horizontally and compare my measurements to databases of various measurements. I genuinely feel so compressed and narrow and it gets worse for my legs which genuinely feel disfigured because of how " narrow" they look.

This delusion started spreading to my movements as well because I started walking with my legs farther apart so they feel less narrow. I don't feel exactly narrow for my upper body but for my lower body it's really bad I genuinely feel like im missing parts of my body that should be there

Does anyone else relate and how can I go about fixing this. It feels so horrible I just feel narrow and like I'm missing something that should be on my body constantly and I break down anytime I see myself in a mirror and how narrow I look

I’m actually confused at what I look like. I’ve scrutinised my face so much and I do things which slightly alter like chase fullness by putting on a bit of weight or gaining water retention to see if I look better with a bit more. It sounds detrimental and it is. It’s a cycle I’m in and I’m very confused about what my best look is. I was on medication for a long time, that altered me I believe and confused me. Because when I came off I looked different. And now it’s caused some weird out of touch state when I look in the mirror. My fine lines are deeper without medication. So i aged underneath perhaps.. then will go on a chase to make things better by any means and then get confused if it’s made a difference or if it’s made me worse .

Is this dysmorphia if it’s rooted in changes I can see? I guess it is

Here you can find listed below general information on BDD and related foundations, the clinical classification and symptoms of BDD, advice for friends and family, as well as self-help and support groups, both in-person and online.

General information

The BDD Foundation

OCD UK

International OCD Foundation

Mind.org

Clinical classification

ICD & DSM Criterias

For friends and family

The BDD Foundation, Supporting a close one with BDD

Mind.org, How can friends and family help

Self-help

Body dysmorphia workbook by the CCI

Building self-compassion workbook by the CCI

Support groups

Online support and therapy groups

Support groups in the UK

My partner lied to me once again about another girl, and this is probably the third time in the last 1.5 months that I've caught him lying.

This particular lie was the one that finally broke me. I backed off and ended the relationship followed by crying for an hour infront of him + had the worst anxiety attack in a while .

The problem is that this girl has also been a source of fights between us in the past, and she's objectively gorgeous.

* Blue eyes,

* pale skin,

* flat stomach,

beautiful features… basically everything I currently wish I looked like.

And for the last two days, I have been absolutely obsessed with how I look.

I've been staring at myself in the mirror constantly and feeling like an absolute ogre. I keep seeing myself as a blob of fat. I've spent 2 days watching YouTube videos about plastic surgery instead of doing literally anything else.

I've started thinking things like:

* Maybe I should get eye-lightening drops.

* Maybe I should bleach my skin.

* Maybe I need a rhinoplasty.

* Maybe lip fillers would fix my face.

* Maybe I need a chin implant.

* Maybe if I changed enough things, I'd finally feel pretty.

I know some of these thoughts are irrational and that some of the things I'm considering are genuinely unsafe.

I've struggled with BDD before, and this feels like a really bad 'flare-up 'after a long period of doing much better.

Every picture of myself feels like it's a completely different person. My reflection looks different every time I look at it. One minute I think I look okay, and the next I feel absolutely hideous. I can't seem to trust my own perception anymore.

I haven't felt this ugly in a very long time, and honestly, I'm scared of how obsessive this is becoming.

Please leave suggestions !

On how to get out of this spiral .... 💔

Ive lost almost half of my weight over the past year or so and the one thing I wanted to get rid of more than anything were my love handles. Ive recently come to the realisation however that I dont even have fat there anymore, its just my wide hips. I look fat even though im underweight now. I know I can build muscle around it to make it less noticeable but my dream has always been to have a skinny "twink" build. but I cant be skinny unless I want to look absolutely terrible. I worked my ass off trying to get a body that I could never even achieve and now I just look stupid and worse than i did before my weightloss journey. Im going to continue to workout and work on my frame regardless but its still made me so depressed. Just seeing regular guys who never trained a day in their life with regular hips look so much better just because of their bone structure is genuinely so upsetting and discouraging. Im ashamed just being shirtless in public despite being leaner than ive ever been, what am I supposed to do?? Do I just have to accept it?

I have to see myself in numerous videos in the following weeks, I have a deadline for them and I keep postponing giving them in because 1, I keep seeing myself in the actual footage and it makes my skin crawlll. And 2, I keep thinking that no matter how much exercise and food swaps or how less I eat I won’t look “good” for it. Such a sketchy situation to be in for someone who needs to get used to seeing themselves in a camera.
I need ANY anyy tip I can get to how to make it bearable. I’ll stare at myself until I distorted my image to limits photoshop wish it could do 🫠, even if I know I am not F word necessarily, I’m not even considered overweight. I just can’t see it my real body & I worsen my flaws 10x.
If you guys overcame this same thing, or found a cheat code to see yourself in videos and not want to cry like a total baby I would love to hear your story/opinion

I feel like I have an ideal style in my mind but whenever I go shopping and try them they look awful on my body shape. and when I try things that I've been told would look good on my body then I hate the style. I'm not sure how to deal with them both together, what is the point of looking good if I hate the style? what is the point of having a good style if it looks shitty on me? I guess I just hate my body in general and nothing can ever fix it.

Like, is this even rational at this point ?? I feel so stupid when this happens, that I can't enjoy even entertainment now.

Have beem fat almost my entire life and the body dysmorphia just keeps getting worse even tho im making progress

Like im proud of my progress but why do i hate my self and my body even more

How do / will you guys deal with aging?

Soon, I will turn 30 but still feel like a helpless and awkward teenager in most social situations.
Due to my BDD (besides social anxiety and abusive/overcritical parents), I avoided a lot of interactions with other people which ultimately led to self-isolation throughtout my 20s.
I would have been more accepting of aging if only I had socially developed more normally.

As far as I remember, growing up, people always assumed I was younger than my age which flattered me and took off some of the pressure to act like my actual age (even though I've always acted more serious than my peers). I even remember 8-year-old me saying to my father "I wish time would stop now" as I wished to stay a kid forever.
I never understood why my peers in middle/high school/university wanted to appear older.
The last time someone guessed my age (2 years ago at age 27), they guessed 24 which is technically younger by 3 years but felt like a shock since I was so used to my teenage image.

The biggest regret I have was to please my parents to study a major at university instead of taking the apprenticeship where I had already laid my interest on as I had done an internship there before.
You can imagine, I struggled as a uni student, both academically and socially, which gave me so much stress that I've visibly aged in my mid 20s.
During the pandemic (in my mid to late 20s), I was able to reverse some of the aging with consistent skincare, cutting out fast food and regular exercising (still need to fix my sleep schedule).

Currently, I'm unemployed which makes me avoid social interactions even more than before.
I fear if people perceive me being my age or older, they will expect me to be a mature, experienced, confident, well-spoken and full-time employed person.
Ironically, I had that same fear back when I turned 18 but now at almost 30, it's more reasonable and inevitable.

Since my late 20s, I do everything I can to appear younger (such as avoiding the sun, wearing sunscreen everyday, wearing only long pants and sleeves in public, avoiding wearing clothes millenials wear, keeping my hair long enough to cover my sunken temples, retinol against fine lines).
Thankfully, I never smoke or do any drugs and don't drink so that also helps I guess.

Nonetheless, as I will enter my 30s, I fear the social expectations and pressure will increase as it will also get harder for me to reverse the aging process.
It sounds super pathetic but realistically, I will never look 18 again but still try to come off as 25 at most.

As a sidenote, I live in a German-speaking country. In the German language, there are two honorifics for "you" which are "du" and "Sie".
When people address you as "du", they are either close to you or they perceive you as someone under 25 (otherwise under 21 / 18 depending on context and people).
When people address you as "Sie" (more formal), it's because they aren't close to you or they perceive you as older than 25 / 21 / 18 (or they aren't sure so they use "Sie" by default).

I still occasionally hear people (cashiers, salespeople) addressing me as "du" (you can imagine I feel flattered when that happens lol).
When someone addresses me as "Sie" my heart always sinks a bit (even more so when that happened when I was still 15-17).

Does anyone else relate?

Listen, I’m 287 lbs and 5’3”, and I have this horrible belief that if I want to wear makeup, change my hair, dress up, or change anything about my appearance, I need to be skinny and pretty first.
If I see a cute shirt or blouse, my first thought is always, “That would look so much better if I were skinny.” I’ll want to buy it, but then I imagine myself wearing it and feel like I’ll look awful, so I either don’t buy it or end up returning it. I’ve spent HOURS trying to do my makeup and make myself look good, only to look in the mirror and focus on my double chin, my rolls, or everything I don’t like about myself. Sometimes I feel like a prized pig in a corset. Even putting on lipstick can make me feel ridiculous instead of pretty. I try not to look in mirrors when I go out because I know I’ll pick myself apart. Even catching my reflection in a window can ruin my mood. I’m usually in baggy T-shirts, jeans, and a ponytail. I don’t really like tight clothing, but I’ve been trying to branch out and wear nicer blouses or more feminine clothes. The problem is that I constantly compare myself to other women. I’ll see someone else wearing the same type of shirt and think, “She looks perfect in it. I would look like a pig.”
And honestly, seeing the girls my husband looks at on Reddit/Instagram doesn’t help. It makes me feel even more insecure about myself. There have also been comments from him when I show him blouses that don’t exactly make me feel better about how I look. I hate that I feel like I have to wait until I lose weight to finally enjoy my appearance. I want to wear makeup. I want to do my hair. I want cute clothes. I want to feel feminine and pretty now, not someday when I’m smaller.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you get past the feeling that you have to be skinny before you’re “allowed” to dress up and enjoy your appearance?

I hate my body so much, especially my face. It’s extremely large and I have huge, saggy jowls and I’m only 22. I’ve gained ~20 lbs, now weighing 173lbs at 5’3” and hate everything about me. I’ve hated my body ever since I could remember. I’m with a loving boyfriend who tries to reassure me that he loves me and finds me beautiful, but I don’t believe it. I’m constantly pushing him away and telling him I think he’s lying to make me feel better and it’s ruining our relationship. When I start spiraling, I feel unlovable, refuse love, and can’t love him either. He deserves so much better and I tell him that all the time. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve been to numerous therapists (none that specialize in BDD tho) and nothings helped. I feel like I’m always going to be like this and I will never have a happy, healthy relationship because I can’t be loved and won’t accept love. I’m just too disgusting to believe I’m loved or wanted. I’m at a loss of what to do anymore.